The Renku Sessions: Barely Time – Week 4
Hello again. This is John Stevenson and I will be facilitating a twelve verse renku, in the Jûnichô style. Over the coming weeks we will add one new verse each week, selected from your offers.
We had 169 offers for our third verse, from 35 poets. We might have had more but it was a busy week at The Haiku Foundation and our link was pushed off of the home page during the final two days of the submission period. If this happens again, I hope you will remember that there is a link on the home page marked “view more.” Clicking on this will take you to a full listing of THF features, including renku sessions, past and current.
Here are some favorite verses from this week’s offerings:
Grandma’s cookbook
pops open
to soufflés
Scott Mason
she relates
to her granddaughter’s
purple hair
Peter Newton
a buyer
for fred astaire’s
tap-dancing shoes
Keith Evetts
some
families have
frown DNA
Dan Campbell
tiny fingers
grabbing a fistful
of my hair
Sushama Kapur
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
Alice just
not her old self
after Drink Me
Laurie Greer
a freckled hand
adds yeast to the well
in the flour
Mary White
vinegar added
to warm water removes
lingering smells
Marion Clarke
licking
the sharp point
of a number 2
princess k
it seems
eraser dust clings
to everything
Sally Biggar
old record albums
feature young men
before eyebrow waxing
Debbie Scheving
the elbow grease
needed to clean
well water stains
Chris Patchel
Another hard choice. These and many others had strong points to recommend them. The first two verses deal with vast spaces so, we want to avoid any third verse that does that. And, as Chris Patchel pointed out, everything comes from the stars. So, we are going to have to let go of expectations based on that level of shifting for this, and probably all subsequent verses. The act of enumerating, counting things is covered in the hokku. For these reasons and more, we have already potentially foreclosed on a number of topic and image options.
OUR THIRD VERSE
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
What I have opted to do here is to select a verse that links obviously to verse two (“forgetting” in contrast to “memories”) while potentially commenting on how we have, thus far, focused exclusively on “the big picture.” This is a perilous choice because it tends to treat the renku as a unified sequence. We will have to do our best to reverse that impression from this point forward.
Our Renku, So Far
BARELY TIME
short night
barely time
to count the stars
Keith Evetts
Earthrise still fresh
in our memories
Lorin Ford
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
THIS WEEK
Please offer candidates for a fourth verse, using these guidelines:
- Two lines
- Non-seasonal (containing nothing from our list of kigo)
- Linking with the third verse only (no obvious linking to either of the first two verses)
- Without an internal grammatical break or pause
- While no single topic is assigned, suggested topics are politics, occupation (employment), clothing, or sports
Please enter your offers in the comments section, below. Offers should be made by midnight, eastern US time, on Monday, July 11. On Thursday, July 14 I will post a selection of the offers, with my comments, and select the fourth verse for “Barely Time.”
Thank you all. Keep up the good work!
John Stevenson
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
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Boris finally unable
to wriggle out
Apologies for tardiness—staying at my daughter’s student accommodation in France where my mobile data doesn’t work and WiFi is dodgy (was even late learning about Boris Johnston’s resignation!)
buying family beverages
becomes a sport
wendy c. bialek
not just the family car
running on fumes
wendy c. bialek
donating infant clothes
through the goodwill’s hopper
wendy c. bialek
if ‘goodwill’ is not accepted because it is a capitalized word:
donating infant clothes
into a hopper
wendy c. bialek
our weekly rendezvous
at the laundromat
*
a favorite sports announcer
on the radio
*
distracted by a car full
of birthday balloons
*
deliveries finally done
for the day
empty-tanked mom
runs to pro-life rally
wendy c. bialek
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
the formula one driver
rounds the last bend
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
her silent support
behind the microphone
*
relearning small talk
after lockdown
*
the joy of small talk
after lockdown
*
the way grains of sand
fall into coincidence
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
the best golf driver
to improve a long-game
– Betty Shropshire
finds an opening
in the paper for work
grandpa curses at his
crooked tee shot
says she’s had enough
of my bad driving
racecar driver
crawls in through the window
realtor shows off
an open house
a black flag for
speeding on pit row
rattles the keys
in my pocket
blues guitarist
getting into it
grandma rubbed a little
whisky on our gums
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
——-Tracy Davidson
.
traveling a straight line
that vanishes
.
Holsteins gather
behind the drive-in theater
.
a lost songbird alights
on the family tree
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
— Tracy Davidson
.
gas pipelines to Germany
shut down ‘for maintenance’
.
every tantrum dead obvious
from the documentary
.
a pearl necklace becomes
the subject of many memes
— Marietta McGregor
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*****
the loggerhead’s favorite beach
washed away
*****
fire creeps dangerously
close to the sequoias
*****
fire creeps dangerously
close to the giants
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
*
Tracy Davidson
*
losing leaders
right and left
*
did the former president
pardon himself?
what other witnesses
might be subpoenaed?
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
….
the last of the dole
spent on bets and booze
like there’s nothing real
if it isn’t on reddit
how most people vote
to fix the polls
a foaming president
makes a grab for the wheel
—
becoming aware
of one’s renku addiction
A good one to move on with, Tracy. Congratulations!
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
—Tracy Davidson
contents of a briefcase
spills across the carriage
.
a centre court upset
solely down to stomach pains
.
spilt milk the least
of their worries
.
unfortunately that huntsman
is our side of the windshield
— Marietta McGregor
Sorry, my first effort above should read:
contents of a briefcase
spill across the carriage
— Marietta McGregor
they seek an indigenous voice
in the parliament
…
her red coat
an antidote to gloom
…
an usher shushes
the kids in the cinema
…
he smashes his racquet
on the ground again
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
that “I really don’t care, do you?”
jacket upstaged even him
– Betty Shropshire
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
— Tracy Davidson
***
cheering for the bulls
at Pamplona
***
wishing wells have more coins
than a banjo busker’s hat
hat
John,
Does renku have a connection with surrealist poetry?
Richard
P.S.
Here’s my contribution for this week:
mother tiptoes
into bathwater
John,
Sorry to take up further space (and time) with my question. Something I should have done beforehand—a quick search of Google on “renku and surrealism”—produced as the top hit an August 2013 news item from The Haiku Foundation:
https://thehaikufoundation.org/what-do-surrealism-and-haiku-have-in-common/
There does appear to be a connection.
Richard
I ask myself: “isn’t everything connected?” and “what is real?” But to me there does seem to be a deal in common between surrealism and the more disjunctive juxtapositions in haiku/senryu and those between verses in renku. There should be linking too, though, in the latter. Is linking (of disjunctive images) also a key part of surrealism, or is complete disruption the aim? I am unread about it.
Apropos: do colleagues think that Basho’s “scent-linking” is sometimes taken as licence to be too free with the disjunction/disruption in renku? A link sometimes seems simply to be discarded in favour of a dramatic disjunction or new direction in some offerings. Or it’s probably that I just don’t work it out.
I’m the wrong person to ask about this. It seems to me that art is the bloodstream of life and anything injected into it is likely to show up somewhere in the body. How a particular injection interacts with the various organs is a subject suitable for study and dispute. But it is simply not my field or my calling.
” Bottle Up and Go ”
blasting from the radio
remembering when it was legal
to shake your booty
the old man doesn’t know
why they are at the cemetery
the crossing guard
a nonagenarian
This may fall under ‘counting’ but it was a recent news story and I couldn’t help adding it.
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
“thems the breaks”
is the left’s new clarion call?
– Betty Shropshire
the crying baby
alerts the Uber driver
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
what’s the move to answer to
the queen’s gambit?
– Betty Shropshire
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
feed the cat
before leaving for work
***
oh almost
this letter must be delivered
***
we will come
short message read
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
— Tracy Davidson
*
a full set of clubs
for a day on the course
*
the Prime Minister’s economy
with the truth
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
——Tracy Davidson
**
**
her black face patch
contrasts Wimbledon white
**
so many swear
Adam and Eve wore fig leaves
**
tangled Tour de France wheels
on a Danish bridge
**
swinging my old hips
into deep bucket seats
**
writing a lesson
on creative haute couture
**
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
— Tracy Davidson
staffers ignore
the president’s fart
a heartwarming song
from bums in the boxcar
even a judge
sits on the toilet
—
a juvenile dolphin
surfs the rollers
star gazers
make lousy outfielders
***
politicians mating
in the swamp
***
surprised
the dress has been sold
car exhibition
I had a short talk with an artist
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
-Tracy Davidson
the Mother of God
crosses the border
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
— Tracy Davidson
***
rodeo bull riders
somersaulting through the air
***
sex on the putting green
beats making a birdie
****
tricycle, bicycle, motorcycle,,
car, wheelchair, hearse
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
the RBG action figure
wringing her hands
as well she should be
Congratulations Tracy! 🙂
Thank you, John Stevenson, for noticing one of mine. _()_
.
.
recurring thoughts
of the red dress I let go
.
a perfect arc of the ball
flying towards the basket
.
burning midnight oil
the politician’s speech writer
.
battling wayward winds
a pilot’s hand in the landing
.
nicely done!
*
Earthrise still fresh
in our memories
Lorin Ford
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
—-
the general’s uniform
surprisingly small
how to thwart
catalytic converter thieves?
police sirens
all too commonplace
or just ‘common’ to avoid any comparison with ‘earth’
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*********
playing fiddle
she forgets milk boiler
***
his hourlong mike
replete with tough election promises
******
newly designed
wardrobe full of old collections
**
job not in tune
with her qualifications
**
one cotton sari
on her fatty skin stiff
**
imposition
more alluring than maths home work
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
————Tracy Davidson
.
curls of flypaper
hang in the attic
.
we take a detour
around his swollen ego
.
the old piano
never stays in tune
.
nine judges snooze
in their cushioned chairs
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
the bodybuilder
assumes a governorship
– Betty Shropshire
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
clashes between
the president and a frontrunner
– Betty Shropshire
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
shelving the American dreams
with the fairy tales
*
the part of the fairy tale
that’s lost in the woods
*
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
the president toys with
a pardon
– Betty Shropshire
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
— Tracy Davidson
***
racing the train
on a bicycle
***
a flat tire makes
you sing those bicycle blues
***
winning the Tour de France
in my dreams
***
hoping Trump’s hair
matches his prison uniform
Thank you John for choosing my verse, and thanks to everyone for the kind words.
Will just offer one verse for fun this week, in response to the somewhat bonkers week we’ve had in British politics!
he spits out his dummy
in his resignation speech
Congrats Tracy!
this lasting silence
after his stump speech
struggling to be calm
in a new world order
just before the last hole
a punctured golf cart
in the chess room silence
biting nails
with open arms and a whistle
my son pretends flying
the Coen brothers plot
to murder Shakespeare
a minor glitch
in the parachute pack
she crosses the state line
to buy a think pill
they turn round to glare
at the crunch of popcorn
the kids want to read
forbidden books
look at the baby’s face
I smile and smile
a bird sipping water
near the front door
grownups world
full of dirt
a dog with a belt
running to and fro
marching ants
in the front lawn
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
the buzzer on the stove
goes off
.
she asks Alexa
to set a timer
.
fewer groceries
to offset the tank of gas
(but it adds yet another last-line preposition)
fewer groceries
or less gasoline?
a choice between
groceries and gasoline
(to avoid ‘fewer’)
contract signing
as a model for sports shoes
that architect
invited to the palace
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
suddenly
be friendly to sit as a candidate
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
in a hurry
the train ticket is not in hand yet
Congratulations, dear Tracy
Lovely🌺
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
Congratulations, Tracey. 🙂
.
In my view this was a particularly challenging 3rd verse to get right because it needed to be an all seasons/any season/ non- seasonal verse. It needed to link to verse #2 and yet also turn away from the hokku + wakiku pair. From “memories” to “forgetting” is a very clear link and the baby in the back seat very nicely brings us back down to earth.
.
Having had my computer fixed now (fingers crossed) I’ve gone back & skim-read all of last week’s verse entries.
I have to say that I also loved (and laughed with) this one by Michael Henry Lee:
.
Michael Henry Lee
July 1, 2022 at 5:15 am
was fifty years ago today
that we last
would hear the Beatles play
🙂 The beat & rhythm is a perfect copy of ‘Sergeant Pepper”. I can hear those drums! And the words begin to come back to me . . . “It was 20 years ago today/ Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play. . .”
It links to ‘memory’ in the wakiku (one might say it even enacts a memory event). It’s loud, in contrast to the hokku and wakiku, which are more like inner musings or perhaps words quietly voiced. It’s humorous too, and it certainly turns right away (with a bang of drums and cymbals!) from the hokku/ wakiku pair.
I imagine, though, that the fact of this verse having two proper nouns/ titles (‘Earthrise’ and ‘Beatles’ might be overdoing things in a 12 verse renku, and that’s my guess as to why it’s nor on John’s shortlist.
Still, I love it, Michael. 🙂
Plus, of course, the fact that we would have 3 time-associated verses in a row: Keith’s idiom ‘time enough’, my ‘memories’ link (time is implied) to Keith’s hokku and Michael’s ” fifty years ago today” (memory of a specific time.)
Thanks much Lorin it appears you enjoyed reading it as much as did writing it
Kanpai
🙂 I did, Michael.
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
-Tracy Davidson
one savage shot
leading to another
*
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
essential until
proven otherwise
*
or alternatively:
*
the once upon a time
of being essential employees
nice one, tracy….way-to-go!!!! john, thanks for the commentary…
and the picks, great as always!!!
yes, we are more opened up now, i agree with laurie:
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
crying out in an empty lot
political signs
wendy c. bialek
i
clean diapers for
a future prime minister
tiddlywinks adopted
as an olympic sport
media fed pap
at the daily briefing
a precision missile strike
wipes out the mall
Felicidades Tracy and gracias John
******
never bet on a racehorse
named Molasses
***
52684 steps
to finish a marathon
***
fat rabbit parked
on the bike path
***
feeling the hills
on the bike path
their fantasy world
of Bonnie and Clyde
_____
the radio plays
‘I’d Do Anything for Love’
________
Good selection! It brings in a new layer of meaning. Here are my responses:
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
always the woman
behind the man in power
.
told to get rid of
her little girl voice
.
a great big temper tantrum
in the president’s car
*
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
getting a pitch from the local
la leche league
*
an extra copy of the nursing law
in the diaper bag
enlisting the defense team
of Larry Moe and Curly
midterm elections for
the soul of America
substitute teachers trained
in small arms proficiency
all the king’s men serving
various sentences
Love this one, Michael! —
all the king’s men serving
various sentences
Thanks much Keith
pacifier replaced
by a lolly
Congrats Tracy!
My attempts:
invisible hand of the market
takes away the baby bottle
*
making a mountain
out of the laundry pile
*
still working
so remotely
Congratulations Tracy.
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
—Tracy Davidson
her nanny
stops for a coffee
she stops to clean
her coffee stained shirt
his lawyer claims
a judge will understand
the jury comes out
to a hushed courtroom
the mechanic calls
about the brake job
the police finish
an Amber Alert
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
hangers-on chant
at a landscape nursery
– Betty Shropshire
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
cops breaking down doors to
inspect the bathwater
*
*
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
another LGBTQ title
challenged in court
*
all the Court chose to let stand
with the bathwater
*
the Court gives another swirl
to the bathwater
*
Congrats Tracy!
*
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
– Tracy Davidson
*
an armed gunman
dressed in women’s attire
– Betty Shropshire
Great stuff! Some seedcorn:
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
…..
Daddy works late
in the office again
the lamentable loss
of Putin’s pacifier
maneuvers hampered
by the formula shortage
slowly over the humps
in front of the hospice
performance enhanced
by a little amphetamine
a rattler sleeps
untroubled by mice
all the clerks hang-gliding
on weekends
belted up ready
for the roller coaster
the letters after his name
surely mean something
election leaflets
on the outhouse nail
Spokesman Leaves Government
Citing Family Reasons
Tracy–congratulations! A super verse, giving us so many places to go. And John, thanks for noticing one of my Alice offerings, and for your illuminating words of guidance. So great to be back in the swing of a renku!
*
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
*
all he knows about civics
he learned on the streets
*
no better teacher of civics
than the streets
*
rushing to the store
to buy a backpack
My offerings are
.
Alexa still playing
her favourite lullaby
.
all eyes at
the pet dog squeaking
.
Lakshmi Iyer