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The Renku Sessions: Barely Time – Week 3

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Hello again. This is John Stevenson and I will be facilitating a twelve verse renku, in the Jûnichô style. Over the coming weeks we will add one new verse each week, selected from your offers.

It’s great to see that we are already in high gear, both in terms of participation (209 verses, from 49 poets) and in the quality of your efforts.

Some of your verses were passed over for technical reasons. Chief among these were verses that either contained a kigo from our list or a non-kigo that nevertheless invoked a particular time of year. Another factor was verses that tended to fall into one of the categories that we will be covering later in the renku – mainly offers that could be taken as “love verses.” And finally, a defect in my instructions resulted in some verse offers that contained grammatical breaks (an exclusive feature of the hokku) or attempts to write a verse that might stand alone. The poetry in a renku, after the hokku, results from the interplay between verses rather than within individual verses.

But these reservations left plenty of other strong candidates. Here are a few that I especially appreciated; presented in the order in which they were posted:

 

decals in the nursery
still dimly fluorescent

Maxianne Berger

 

a handful of pins
for hemming up the skirt

Laurie Greer

 

prison guard towers
glow in the night

Dan Campbell

 

unpacking the dishwasher
by candlelight

Carole Harrison

 

Earthrise still fresh
in our memories

Lorin Ford

 

morning sun shining
on the kitchen spoons

andrew shimield

 

dust motes
in a shaft of light

Polona Oblak

 

latest stack of books
in the bathroom

Chris Patchel

 

how old was Galileo
when the pope apologized?

princess k

 

effortlessly gliding
over the sunken treasure

Betty Shropshire

 

sheep don’t
help either

M. R. Defibaugh

 

his death poem
half finished

Debbie Scheving

 

all that a dragon
could wish for a snack

Ann Smith

 

What a hard choice this is. I love all of these.

 

OUR SECOND VERSE

 

Earthrise still fresh
in our memories

     Lorin Ford

 

In the end, the deciding factor was a verse that invokes a collective experience and seems to look forward, even as it conjures the past.

 

 

Our Renku, So Far

 

BARELY TIME

 

short night
barely time
to count the stars

Keith Evetts

 

Earthrise still fresh
in our memories

Lorin Ford

 

 

THIS WEEK

Please offer candidates for a third verse, using these guidelines:

  • Three lines
  • Non-seasonal (containing nothing from our list of kigo)
  • Linking with the second verse only (no obvious linking to the first verse)
  • Without an internal grammatical break or pause
  • A very clear departure in subject matter

 

Please enter your offers in the comments section, below. Offers should be made by midnight, eastern US time, on Monday, July 4. On Thursday, July 7 I will post a selection of the offers, with my comments, and announce the third verse for “Barely Time.”

Looking forward to seeing what might be next,

John Stevenson

 

 

 

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct

This Post Has 114 Comments

  1. Verse 3

    de-wilding restores
    the corporation lawns
    for senior cits

    out of bed
    the memorial garden
    can’t be far

  2. forgotten pictures
    going back
    and further back
    .
    over on
    the dark side
    a complete surprise
    .
    on the other side
    of the silver coin
    a face I can’t recall
    .

    .
    over on
    the dark side
    a new beginning
    .

  3. an unwrapped gift
    on the welcome mat
    yips and whines
    – Betty Shropshire

  4. the monkey bars
    built for children
    to swing on

    we steep sprigs
    of rosemary
    in Blue Sapphire gin

  5. pleasant sound
    of the limestone path
    under my bicycle tires

    pleasant sound
    of the limestone path
    under my footsteps

  6. the elbow grease
    needed to clean
    well water stains

    (Then again, minerals and most everything else, came from stars)

  7. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford

    the judge agrees
    a reduced sentence
    for haiku poets

    kids bust out of school
    to read all the books
    the fogeys banned

    what goes around
    comes around
    in stir-fry politics

    the price of gas
    rewilds the orbital
    expressway

  8. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    in the end
    it boils down to sex
    intellectuals meet

    across the border
    the same orange
    of war fires

    imaginary party
    pink cups and saucers
    in the debris

    Arvinder Kaur

  9. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    — Lorin Ford

    ***
    some coyote
    howls penetrate
    the mesosphere
    ***
    only donkey
    smiles can melt a frigid
    human heart
    ***
    a falling
    star vanishing
    in the fireworks
    ***
    canned
    confessions coming
    from the convent

  10. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford
    *
    sipping again
    from a cup
    of ayahuasca
    – Betty Shropshire

  11. Congratulations, Lorin. What a beautiful verse it is.

    BARELY TIME
    .
    short night
    barely time
    to count the stars
    .
    Keith Evetts
    .
    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    .
    Lorin Ford
    .
    .
    lapis lazuli beads
    spill all over
    the bedroom floor
    .
    forgetting
    what it was
    I needed to do
    .
    forgetting
    where it was
    I left my glasses
    .
    it just dawned on her
    that she forgot
    to turn off the stove
    .
    a small gray mouse
    scarpered out
    the back porch door
    .
    when the light went on
    the tiny mouse
    scarpered out the door
    .
    the tiny mouse
    dropped its cheese
    and scarpered
    .
    the startled mouse
    scarpered without
    its bit of cheese

  12. .
    .
    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    – Lorin Ford
    .
    an empty bag
    of cheese puffs
    and then the bitch’s tongue
    .
    .

  13. Congratulations Lorin

    BARELY TIME

    short night
    barely time
    to count the stars

    Keith Evetts

    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    bare feet
    splashing down
    a mountain stream

    we forget
    to pay
    the ferryman

    the scent
    as we slice
    her lemon drizzle

  14. the swirl of cream
    in my morning
    coffee

    07/02/2022 by wendy © bialek

  15. scan photos of the dead
    carefully placed
    in an album

    my mother rowed
    her hospital bed
    across the sea

    lifting old books
    and breathing in
    their musty smell

  16. Congrats, Lorin, and thank you for the beautiful image memory.
    *
    old record albums
    feature young men
    before eyebrow waxing
    *
    the collection
    of souvenir spoons
    gather dust
    *
    at the class reunion
    big hair is noticably
    absent
    *
    the odometer says
    we’ve already driven
    five hundred dollars

  17. dan smith

    new world building
    is hard work but the robots
    toil tirelessly

    this side of the galaxy
    seems more desolate
    but it’s just the homesickness

    morale is low
    the lab rats are dying
    cause unknown

    radiation from the supernova
    still twinkling on all
    the ships detectors

    escaped information
    just out of our reach
    forever and ever

  18. how mom’s swirling
    chopstick makes
    cake marble

    07/02/2022 by wendy © bialek

  19. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    *****

    it seems
    eraser dust clings
    to everything

    *****

    pink pearl
    eraser crumbs
    litter the floor

    *****

    a matchbox
    full of
    eraser crumbs

  20. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    the smell
    of a loaf
    straight out of the oven

    the novice pastor
    clears the pool table
    with a flourish

    a pet budgie
    takes advantage
    of the unlocked door

    Mother says
    take no notice
    of Freud

    forced to set up
    a gardeners
    underground movement

  21. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    — Lorin Ford

    a collection
    of stuffed animals
    under the bed

    the same song
    over and over
    from a myna bird

    the ink dries
    on an open page
    of a diary

    a tray
    of worry stones
    all agate and jade

  22. .
    .
    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    – Lorin Ford

    just one voice
    carried
    by the river
    .
    .
    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    – Lorin Ford

    a branch snaps
    this feeling
    of solitude
    .
    .
    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    – Lorin Ford

    licking
    the sharp point
    of a number 2
    .
    .

  23. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford
    ****

    blind panhandler
    running to catch
    the bus
    ****
    zookeeper
    making the mating
    call of a swan
    *****
    playing against
    myself on the chessboard
    at the park
    ****
    a herd
    of cows
    blocking traffic

  24. short night
    
barely time
    
to count the stars

    Earthrise still fresh
    
in our memories

    vinegar added
    to warm water removes
    lingering smells

  25. short night

    barely time

    to count the stars

    Earthrise still fresh

    in our memories

    glorious fruits
    available to buy
    all year round

  26. short night
    barely time
    to count the stars

    Keith Evetts

    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    ***

    breaking off the crust
    from a still warm
    sourdough loaf

    a dung beetle
    rolls its ball
    away from the heap

  27. short night
    barely time
    to count the stars

    Keith Evetts

    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    ***

    good one, it supports the hokku as wakiku should, but i don’t think i would dare select this one with its speculative undertones and the moon implied within its context (though i wouldn’t consider it a moon verse in a traditional sense). fun, though, as it does open up interesting dilemmas and i’ll be curious where it takes us.

  28. John, and All. My computer has crashed irretrievably for me, so I’m writing here from my local library. Please forgive me if I’m missing from THF and this renku for as long as it takes. I wish it wasn’t so.

    1. Aw no—what a pain, Lorin. Hope it’s fixable.

      Congrats on your verse. I immediately thought or the EarthRise Rolling collaborative haiku project here on THF for international poetry day, so…

      how quickly
      another year goes round
      in haiku circles

    2. soooo frustrating! but very glad to hear you are up and running again!

  29. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford
    *****

    nowadays
    my dog watches
    me chase my tail

  30. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    -Lorin Ford

    Come join the search
    for Takamori’s
    head

    1. Come join the search
      for Takamori’s
      head

      – Patrick Sweeney

      Thanks Patrick – fascinating history.

  31. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford
    *
    faked thumbprints
    bespoke the need
    for a new alibi
    – Betty Shropshire

  32. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford
    *
    moving into a dot
    on the map
    to get off the grid
    *

  33. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford
    *
    treasures
    disappearing
    to the squirrel’s drey

  34. desire with search
    of a new coin
    from the mound

    ***

    tied to a house
    in the process of crumbling
    unawares

    ***
    call for cup of tea
    in the middle
    of dance
    ***

    cutting brinjal
    deep cut
    into her hand
    **

    bucket’s fall
    into the well
    your thirsty draw

    **

    her choked throat
    at the grand finale
    of music concert
    **
    whereabouts
    of new mobile
    her mystery

    ***
    non believing
    in the belief
    of tiles’ paste cure

    ****
    telephone chat
    wife still awaits
    brewing tea

  35. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    a freckled hand
    adds yeast to the well
    in the flour

  36. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    —Lorin Ford

    beneath
    the microscope
    a new variant
    **
    from the rubble
    a dog whimpers
    and men weep
    **
    in a field
    of blue and yellow flags
    new tombs
    **
    still my fingers
    and a Chopin nocturne
    bring goosebumps
    **

  37. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford
    *
    kittens playing
    with the loose threads
    from a ball of yarn
    – Betty Shropshire

  38. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    *
    Alice just
    not her old self
    after Drink Me
    *
    not quite
    her old self
    after Drink Me
    *

  39. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    *
    following the ringing
    in my ears to
    the center of the maze

  40. sounds
    of the city
    waking up
    ***
    a chorus
    of Hallelujah
    from the alley
    ***
    cobblestones
    instead of asphalt
    in the red-light district
    ***
    mountain
    stream
    melody
    ***
    crooked
    Help Wanted sign
    on the liquor store window

  41. recalling
    the troops
    for another mission
    *
    somehow forgetting
    the baby
    in the back seat
    *
    we scream
    at the injustice
    of everything
    *
    stale p*** / pee
    in the alley
    where it happens

    (I put the asterisks in case the system doesn’t like such words)

  42. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    -Lorin Ford
    *
    the fossil hunter
    digs up an ammonite
    on the rocky shore

  43. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    at dawn
    the geriatrics ward
    bursts into song

    a tin can
    bouncing down the road
    for kicks

    birthday postcard
    franked by
    the Alzheimer’s Society

  44. Earthrise is still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    antiques
    price
    to the sky

  45. congratulations Lorin

    crossing the date line
    with the next big
    contaminant

    was fifty years ago today
    that we last
    would hear the Beatles play

    strangers in the night
    held us at
    gun point

    let us then ask ourselves
    ask ourselves what would
    Charles Bukowski do

    ” and in the end
    the love you take is
    equal to the love you make”

    trampled
    sunflowers less than
    half a world away

    1. correction!!

      let us then
      ask ourselves what
      would Charles Bukowski do

  46. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    blood and bones
    when to be
    natural fertilizer

  47. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    and it…
    grass and clay
    starting to get shackled

  48. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    the beginning of
    love grows
    between us

  49. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    Congratulations dear Lorin
    Beautiful ❤️❤️

  50. Congratulations Lorin! Lovely verse.
    .
    tiny fingers
    grabbing a fistful
    of my hair
    .
    and finally
    both pup and I fall
    into exhausted sleep
    .
    deep in a bean bag
    the child
    turns a page
    .
    waiting breathless
    as the soprano holds
    the last aria note
    .

  51. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    our blue dot
    floating in the dark
    without a tether
    .
    a bun in the oven
    with the timer
    counting down

  52. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    -Lorin Ford

    under hypnosis she tells
    the whereabouts
    of Sinatra’s bow tie

  53. This is so fun, seeing how we are building this together.
    Congratulations Lorin.

    Earthrise still fresh
    In our memories

    — Lorin Ford

    even here
    the cutting
    continues

    the dance hall
    nearly as big
    as the galley

    floating
    on this weightless
    colony

    holding fast
    as we look for
    our new home

    so lucky
    to have a suite
    with windows

  54. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford

    ****
    the thumbs up
    of the Ukrainian girl
    on the news
    ***
    alphabet
    soup never has
    letter x
    ***
    some
    families have
    frown DNA

  55. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    -Lorin Ford

    I’m 67 prime
    thanks to the sieve
    of Eratosthenes

  56. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    a buyer
    for Fred Astaire’s
    tap-dancing shoes

  57. nearly tripping
    on my favorite
    cat’s eye marble
    – Betty Shropshire

    1. or:
      nearly tripping on
      a big blue marble
      that you said was lost
      – Betty Shropshire

  58. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    undersides
    of wind-spun leaves
    face the light

  59. Hi Everyone,
    .
    It’s too late to add a requirement, since some people would undoubtedly miss it among the posted replies. So this is just an idea but will not be treated as a requirement. The first two verses are on a vast scale. It might, therefore, be good to have a third verse involving something small and, perhaps, easily overlooked.

  60. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford
    *
    working in from
    the outer edges
    of the puzzle
    *

  61. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    cherubim
    guard the gate
    of the garden

  62. Congrats Lorin and thanks John for all the time you devote to this each week.
    ***

    peeing
    into the volcano
    crater
    ***
    missing the urinal
    while peeing
    in an earthquake
    ****
    hyena howls
    make you pee
    on your hiking boots

    1. PS – In a shameless act of self-promotion, please click on my name and it has a link to my new blog which has some of my poetry and artwork that I hope you enjoy.

  63. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford
    *
    looking forward to
    some music
    the next town over
    *
    pulling apart
    the cookbook’s
    marinaded pages
    *

  64. excellent choice, john…..excellent and fitting wakiku lorin!!!!
    now on to work for our daisan:

    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    *
    thinking twice
    about that K-9
    in the shelter

    06/30/2022 by wendy © bialek

    1. oooops! if ‘twice’ goes back to the hokku’s……’count’ then:
      i offer this instead:

      thinking about
      that K-9
      in the shelter

      06/30/2022 by wendy © bialek

  65. Congratulations, Lorin!

    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    beneath the waves
    our yellow submarine
    sails on and on

  66. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    – Lorin Ford

    Congratulations Lorin! The Earthrise photo is most certainly one of the most influential photographs in history, and a wonderful link to Keith’s hokku.

    John – just wondering if/how this will impact the junicho schema when we get to the moon (verse 5?)

    1. This is good renku thinking. We do have to consider how what we say now will possibly impinge upon or even foreclose later choices.

      We have a lot of leeway in this particular renku format. My first thought is that we can wait until nearly the end before calling for a moon verse. A more bold approach would be to look upon Lorin’s offering as our moon verse; although a non-seasonal moon verse, and from a revolutionary perspective.

      1. Thanks, Princess! Your question is an intelligent one, and relevant.

        And thank you, John, for selecting my ‘Earthrise’ verse for the wakiku. . . quite a surprise for me, but it does link to the hokku, it is non-seasonal or ‘all seasons’ and ‘moon’ is not mentioned.

        Your thinking, in relation to this verse, that it might be called a moon verse is certainly revolutionary … far more so than I’d dare to be. 🙂
        .
        Here’s my current thoughts. Though within the photograph there is a part of a moonscape visible, that’s no different, for renku purposes, than (for instance) there being a bridge in a Monet ‘water lilies’ painting. If , in a renku, there was an ekphrastic ‘Monet’s Water Lilies’ verse (art, no season) and we googled the painting/s and saw a bridge as well as water lilies, would that mean we couldn’t later have a verse with the Brooklyn Bridge (or even just ‘bridge’) in it? I don’t think so. (unless Monet’s bridge was mentioned in the verse, of course)

        While ‘moonlight’ or ‘moon shadow’ both do imply the presence of the moon, does ‘Earthrise’ , the photograph, imply the presence of the moon in the same way? (and not all Americans, if I recall rightly, believed that it really was a bit of moon landscape in the photo at the time. 🙂 )
        .
        My view: the moon as listed in kiyose and saijiki is the moon observable from wherever we live on Earth. It shines, it changes shape in a predictable cycle and it has its attributed seasons for renku and haiku. Mentioning ‘moon’ alone, in renku, indicates autumn, in either hemisphere. Add a season, say ‘spring moon’, and ‘moon’ is qualified. But a photo of the turning earth taken from a rocket orbiting the moon . . . we can’t attribute a season to that.
        .
        In the famous photo, Earth, our planet, is the subject. Yes, there’s a bit of moon landscape in it (and not all Americans, if I recall rightly, believed that it really was a bit of moon landscape at the time. 🙂 ) but the moon is not the subject nor is it mentioned.
        .
        That’s my view, anyway. I don’t feel that ‘earthrise’ cancels out the possibility of a moon verse:the moon in the sky as seen from somewhere on earth and within a season, or the effects of the moon such as moonlight and moon shadows.

        1. as we have been instructed by john in the past….a picture of a flower….is not a flower.

          but the date the picture was taken/the event….could that connect it with a season????

          1. “but the date the picture was taken/the event….could that connect it with a season???? “- Wendy,
            .
            um. no, Wendy … that would only be possible if the Earth was actually flat. (I thought all the ‘flat Earth’ theorists had long gone!)
            Today’s time and date (for the Eastern coast of Australia) is the 3rd of July. That’s the beginning of the 2nd month of winter. What season is it now, where you are?
            What season was it up in that rocket near the moon where the photo was taken?

  67. Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    *
    donating
    a bag
    of the gently used
    *
    giving away
    a bag of the not
    so gently used
    *

  68. Way to go, Lorin! Thanks, John, for the notice above.
    *
    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    *
    holding the note
    while the pianist
    picks out the tune
    *

  69. Congrats, Lorin! And thank you John for the mentions, too. 😊

    short night
    barely time
    to count the stars
    – Keith Evetts
    *
    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories
    – Lorin Ford
    *
    an elephant
    waves its trunk
    and trumpets
    – Betty Shropshire

  70. Congratulations, Lorin – very stylish!


    Earthrise still fresh
    in our memories

    Lorin Ford

    the throb
    of a trawler
    snagged by the reef

    gyres of plastic
    in the great pacific
    garbage patch

    only so many
    ways to rearrange
    the rubble

    the Ministry official
    claims she is passionate
    about compost

    catastrophes vanish
    at a touch
    of the remote

    feeding the crumbs
    of yesterday’s loaf
    to leftover birds

    children
    surf with dolphins
    in the limpid sea

    everyone
    looks the other way
    at the smell

    1. Thank you, Keith. This is quite a surprise for me! 🙂 I’m honoured, of course.

      (and certainly glad that my computer, which has been playing up, did finally come to life this morning. Yesterday too, several of those old “computer error haiku” haiku from last century were doing rerns ibn my head.)

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