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The Renku Sessions: Barely Time – Week 12

renku_300

Hello again. This is John Stevenson and I am facilitating a twelve verse renku, in the Jûnichô style. Over the course of this session, we will add one new verse each week, selected from your offers.

Thirty-three poets offered a total of 175 verse eleven candidates this time.

I must admit that I have been more than usually distracted by other matters while this session has been in progress and have missed a number of things that I probably wouldn’t have, otherwise. The latest example is that I have suggested that this might be a cherry blossom verse, as is often the case when we get to the spring blossom. But I had not considered that we had already included references to pine and apple (verses five and six), which would tend to forestall any further tree references in so short a renku. So, no cherry, plum, pear nor, of course, apple blossoms. This leaves other kinds of spring flowers but I do regret not sending you in that direction in last week’s instructions.

Here are just some of the verses that caught my eye this time, including some that I will pass over because of my poor instructions and through no fault of the various poets:

 

something within me
opens
with the plum blossoms

Laurie Greer

 

in the darkening day
cherry blossoms
glow in the shadows

Jonathan Alderfer

 

pilgrims
falling among
poppies

Richard Straw

This is unusual because the kigo is not the blossom; it’s “pilgrimage” (all spring).

 

a magpie
swoops down past the pink
camellias

Lorin Ford

 

an early photo
of camellias
in black and white

Keith Evetts

 

spring orchids
ready
or not

Keith Evetts

Of course, verse nine invokes a children’s game, as does “ready or not.”

 

first blossoms
unfurl
the sun

Sushama Kapur

“Blossoms” are generally presumed to be cherry blossoms in renku unless otherwise specified, just as “moon” is presumed to be an autumn moon unless otherwise specified.

 

the kitten
chasing a petal
of primrose

Ronald Degler

We have a horse and the Spanish name for turtle in verse four. Another animal seems like a lot for such a short renku.

 

tickling
the ivory petals
of camellia

Tracy Davidson

 

wild rose
out of reach
of her hands now

Radmanani sarma

This is very tempting. But verse number nine involves a game played with hand gestures (which is also a presumptive link to the piano in verse ten).

 

a violet blossom
perfuming the tress
in her locket

Laurie Greer

A borrowed scent in verse five?

 

look, the hedge is
swelling with
blackthorn blossom

polona oblak

 

a minor detour
to pick a posy
of vivid violets

Keith Evetts

 

 

 

OUR ELEVENTH VERSE

 

pilgrims
falling among
poppies

Richard Straw

 

 

Our Renku, So Far

 

BARELY TIME

 

short night
barely time
to count the stars

Keith Evetts

 

9/11 still fresh
in our memories

Lorin Ford

 

somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat

Tracy Davidson

 

a racehorse
named Tortuga

Dan Campbell

 

the fog
has borrowed its scent
from the pines

Polona Oblak

 

he licks the apple juice
on her chin

Nancy Brady

 

walking barefoot
we take each other
prisoner

Jonathan Alderfer

 

snow moon
rests on granite

Susan Grant

 

scissors
cuts
paper

Betty Shropshire

 

missing keys
of the piano

Amoolya Kamalnath

 

pilgrims
falling among
poppies

Richard Straw

 

 

 

THIS WEEK

Please offer candidates for our twelfth, and final, verse, using these guidelines:

  • Two lines
  • A spring verse with a non-vegetation kigo from our list: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html
  • Linking with the eleventh verse only (no obvious linking to any of the first ten verses)
  • Without an internal grammatical break or pause

 

Please enter your offers in the comments section, below. Offers should be made by midnight, eastern US time, on Monday, September 5th. On Thursday, September 8th, I will post a selection of the offers, with my comments, and select the final verse for “Barely Time.”

Looking forward to your offers,

John Stevenson

 

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct

This Post Has 91 Comments

  1. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies — Richard Straw
    .
    a blackbird’s revelation
    at Adlestrop
    .

    Yes, I know : we already have a place name ( Tortuga/Turtle Island/ ) that becomes a horse’s name (Tortuga) and before that that the horse’s name was Molasses, and in a layer beneath Molasses is the short-lived proper noun, Earthrise, as a kind of literary pentimento , but I simply couldn’t resist, since Keith showed me the poem, ‘Adlestrop’, by Edward Thomas. 🙂

  2. Thank you John for guiding us through this short renku. The variety of unique verses by so many poets makes for a fine learning sandbox.

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw

    woolgathering
    spring clouds

  3. the gong behind
    red temple doors

    wendy c. bialek

    the bong behind
    red temple doors

    wendy c. bialek

  4. I haven’t checked in for a few weeks. Looks like this renku has been going on swimmingly. Gorgeous work, here.

    Here are my suggestions…

    that old grey tomcat
    still yowling down the lane

    spring rain ticks time
    on the Tabard Inn’s windows

  5. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    – Richard Straw
    *
    white lace curtains billow
    as the east winds pick up
    – Betty Shropshire

    – Betty Shropshire

  6. Congrats on a lovely lyrical verse, Richard.
    *
    a pinwheel planted
    in a flower pot
    *
    beach combing
    for unknown treasure
    *
    sanding the rust
    from a faithful plow
    *
    the back and forth
    creak of swings
    *
    soap bubbles
    blown beyond view
    *
    the soft light
    of a lingering day
    *
    a light snow
    on upturned faces
    (Richard’s verse reminded me of The Wizard of Oz)
    *
    Thank you, John! I hope you have had success in recruiting a leader for the next session. This one went by quickly!

  7. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    ——Richard Straw
    .

    skipping down
    the yellow dust road
    .

    a ruby wink
    from the lingering sun
    .

    mending kites
    on a still day
    .

  8. Wonderful sequence!
    Congratulations!

    Following Richard Straw’s:
    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    ****

    dreams suspended
    among ice floes
    *
    floating robes
    of silkworm threads

  9. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    –Richard Straw

    Congrats, Richard, on your verse.

    spring noontime reminds
    one of warmer days to come
    .
    springtime warmth a harbinger
    of hot days ahead
    .
    spring’s warmth heats the asphalt
    producing schlieren lines
    .

  10. offerings:
    .
    the silent shadows
    within the shadows
    .
    at last! the seasons
    change for good
    .
    the gentle breeze
    carrying stories of the past
    .

    Lakshmi Iyer
    india

  11. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    spring wind brings the retreat
    of melancholy

  12. Now without mountains….

    skylarks all along
    the high road

    — plus:

    dunking sore feet
    in the waters of spring

    a healing rebirth
    in the waters of spring

  13. Hi John! I’m new to renku as you may have observed. I’m still trying to understand the do’s and don’ts.

    I would like to ask you if mountains can be linked to granite and hence is expected not to be used for this verse.

    1. That’s a good question. There are fewer absolute answers than you might expect in a game with so many “rules.”

      The granite in Susan Grant’s verse 8 may be viewed as a mountain. I, personally, thought of it equally as monument, public stairway or tomb stone. It could be any of these things and others, too. If one of them was obviously the image in play, over all the others, that image would be something we would want to steer clear of. In a short renku, such as this one, we would steer clear for the entire remaining verses. In longer renku, we would want to steer clear for some number of verses. And, even then, we would not want any strong and obvious connections – strong enough to draw the attention of a reasonable reader back to a prior verse.

      But all of these terms – strong, obvious, connections, draw, attention, reasonable – are capable of promoting multiple images, just as “granite” does.

      For what it’s worth, I think that a renku poet who is relaxed has a better chance of enjoying the experience of composition than one who is tense. So, to answer your question: I won’t be selecting a twelfth verse with “mountain” in it.

  14. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    – Richard Straw
    *
    the gulf shaped anew
    by the spring tide
    – Betty Shropshire

  15. Thank you John for guiding us in this session

    ****
    swamp frog searching
    for home in the fog
    ******
    that splash when a frog
    leaps from the log
    *****
    lonely croaks
    multiplying in the fog

  16. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    spring wind
    brings an end to suffering
    *
    an in breath of spring wind
    brings an end to suffering
    *

  17. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    how it feels to fulfill
    the goal of a lifetime
    *
    the selfie that makes it
    official
    *

    1. oops–forgot something:
      *

      the shining wind fulfills
      the goal of a lifetime
      *
      the selfie with a kite
      that makes it official
      *

  18. Congratulations, Richard!

    spring lantern
    lighting the inside

    the old man keeps
    soap bubbles afloat

    lamp lighting for
    Buddha’s birthday

    waking up smug
    on a spring day

    spring wind
    surfaces in the breath

    shining wind
    on the pure soul

    drawing strength from
    spring thunder

    spring fields
    springing up there

    the golden peak
    on melting snow

    beach combing
    impossible with high tide

    the gas balloon
    rushing up in haste

    soap bubbles
    waddles up in puffs

    birds enter clouds
    and find epiphany

    a lingering day in
    beach shade

    hazy moon
    just above the horizon

    shining wind
    on the tarp’s sleeves

  19. such a tender poem, richard, congrats!!!! john, your apologies are accepted…hope your distractions are the creative kind and i look forward to your next sabaki
    ( polona oblak pine ) pick so you can fully focus on what rings your bell now.

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    Richard Straw

    passing
    spring

    wendy c. bialek

  20. Congratulations Richard, a deep verse.

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    — Richard Straw

    *
    geese rise
    to scribe the sky

    *
    waters of spring
    fill the furrows

    *
    spring tide
    feeds sweet-fish

  21. relics of old wars
    under the plow

    skylarks all along
    the high road to the mountains

    an arrow of geese
    heads for vanishing point

    never know why some
    get high on yellow dust

    dawn skylarks
    celebrate nirvana

    telltale messages
    tied to a kite

    the roadside vendor’s
    many baby birds go cheep

  22. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    -Richard Straw

    drawing on the spring soil’s
    magical alkaloids

  23. oh the view
    as this swing swings high

    spirits soar
    beneath spring sky

    ’tis wise to catch a nap
    on a long day

    the way smiles creep
    up on a lingering day

    landing a triple lutz
    just at spring dawn

  24. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    – Richard Straw
    *
    an east wind builds
    the deep blue ocean waves
    – Betty Shropshire

  25. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    Richard Straw
    .
    flat on our backs
    making up cloudy spring tales

  26. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    — Richard Straw

    haze on the horizon
    seen from the mountains

    balloons carry him away
    in his dreams

    an avalanche of emotion
    at the end of the trip

    swing of a new beat
    playing on the radio

    the long trip
    comes to a serene end

  27. Congratulations Richard!
    .
    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    Richard Straw
    .
    .
    so much yellow dust
    in those ruby slippers
    .
    .

  28. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    – Richard Straw
    *
    the prow whitens
    as the spring tides recede
    – Betty Shropshire

  29. departing geese
    at the sea’s edge

    the founding fathers
    comb a pristine beach

    geese moved on
    by the highway patrol

    swallows leave
    a message for the cops

    a frog jumps out
    of the camper’s water

  30. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    the shining wind
    that leaves me be
    *
    how deep spring conjugates
    the verb to be
    *
    all together now
    in the shining wind
    *
    why not deep spring
    as an opiate of the masses
    *
    the draw
    of deep spring
    *

    1. Laurie,
      how deep spring conjugates
      the verb to be
      I think this verse is marvelous (and it makes me smile) just because of the idea of conjugation of verbs, especially to be.

      I sure am glad that I don’t have to choose a final verse from all the wonderful verses from all the poets I am reading. Good luck, John

  31. John Thanks for leading another great Renku

    pinwheels at
    max rpm

    out on thin ice for
    untimely remarks

    exiting the swing at
    the top of its arc

  32. only the village drunk
    can follow a butterfly
    *****
    a butterfly
    following the village drunk
    *****
    the village drunk
    following the butterfly
    *****
    butterfly
    without a flight plan

  33. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    Richard Straw
    *********
    Coming of spring
    yet killing her moods in garden
    **

    In spring dawn
    her shutting one window

    ****
    last frost
    her tale of winter again sets
    ****
    *****
    mewing cats
    all love still for the driving master
    ***

    **
    his kite of despondency
    after results in spring sky
    **
    her fever unable to take
    Still cold of spring
    **
    her notes on piano
    striking spring melody in melancholy

  34. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    the soul’s sample
    spun on a pinwheel
    *
    a sample of the soul set
    spinning on a pinwheel
    *

  35. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    pinwheel in lieu
    of a scallop shell
    *
    breathing in
    the spring lantern light
    *

  36. a butterfly’s progress
    against the breeze

    the red snapper’s path
    lies upstream

    finding enlightenment
    while beach combing

  37. Sorry about the earlier post. I’ve modified to this:
    .
    .
    much laughter
    as soap bubbles ascend
    .
    a lingering heat
    shimmers on the road
    .
    eyes serene
    on the peak
    .
    the swing in the yard
    still moving
    .
    a warm afternoon
    fans out
    .

  38. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    — Richard Straw

    a soaring skylark
    lifts the spirits

    pushing on deeper
    into the high spring mountains

    eager for a trip
    into the spring mountains

    despite all distractions
    birds enter clouds

    the eccentric flight
    of a swallow

    afghans keep silkworms
    only in dreams

    survivors till the fields
    without complaint

  39. Congratulations Richard! Lovely verse.
    Thank you, John, for the mention. I’m still learning the renku rules.

    .
    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    -Richard Straw

    .
    much laughter
    as soap bubbles
    ascend
    .
    a lingering
    heat shimmer
    on the road
    .
    eyes
    serene
    on the peak
    .
    the swing
    in the backyard
    still moving
    .
    a warm
    afternoon
    fans out
    .

    1. Sorry about the earlier post. I’ve modified to this:
      .
      .
      much laughter
      as soap bubbles ascend
      .
      a lingering heat
      shimmers on the road
      .
      eyes serene
      on the peak
      .
      the swing in the yard
      still moving
      .
      a warm afternoon
      fans out
      .

  40. Congratulations, Richard.

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies – Richard Straw
    .
    John, you remark that “This is unusual because the kigo is not the blossom; it’s “pilgrimage” (all spring).”

    It’s “live & learn” for me and has become confusing. Your instructions were “A spring blossom verse: traditionally cherry blossom but any spring blossom from our list: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html

    So now there’s no blossom verse because we’ve had “apple juice” and apples grow on apple trees before being processed into juice (so Nancy’s link to Polona’s previous verse appears to rely on the fact that several stages before there was apple juice a blossoming tree was involved and Polona’s verse had ‘pines’ (noun, plural) a non-blossoming tree. Therefore, we can’t have any blossom that grows on trees (or even on bushes, such as camellias ?) for the blossom verse.

    So, we have ‘pilgrims’ ( those who go on ‘pilgrimages’) and ‘pilgrimage’ is a spring kigo on the list . We have poppies, and we have pilgrims falling about among a field of them. Poppies are not blossoms at all but flowers, and the sap (or juice) of one particular variety is easily extracted and used for medical (and other) purposes , so the pilgrims might very well be falling about with joy in a poppy field. (Reminds me of the ’60s.)
    .
    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies – Richard Straw
    .
    soap bubbles now
    from grandpa’s opium pipe (Lorin)

    1. Oxford English Dictionary: blossom

      1. ‘The flower that grows on any plant, previous to the seed or fruit. We generally call those flowers blossoms, which are not much regarded in themselves, but as a token of some following production’ (Johnson).
      Blostma, blosme was the Old English word for ‘flower’, previous to the adoption of Old Norse blóm (bloom n.1), and Old French flor, flur (flower n.). See bloom

      a. As a count noun: an individual flower.

      b. collectively. The mass of flowers on a fruit tree, etc. (Cf. bloom n.1 1c) Hence in blossom. Also said of grain, grass, etc.

      c. A stage of development which answers to that of blossom. Cf. flower n. 11, bloom n.1 2.

      1. Wikipedia : blossom: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blossom

        “In botany, blossoms are the flowers of stone fruit trees (genus Prunus) and of some other plants with a similar appearance that flower profusely for a period of time in spring.

        Colloquially, flowers of orange are referred to as such as well. Peach blossoms (including nectarine), most cherry blossoms, and some almond blossoms are usually pink. Plum blossoms, apple blossoms, orange blossoms, some cherry blossoms, and most almond blossoms are white.[1]

        Blossoms provide pollen to pollinators such as bees, and initiate cross-pollination necessary for the trees to reproduce by producing fruit.[2] : ”
        .
        Dictionary
        Definitions from Oxford Languages : flower
        1.
        the seed-bearing part of a plant, consisting of reproductive organs (stamens and carpels) that are typically surrounded by a brightly coloured corolla (petals) and a green calyx (sepals).
        .
        Wikipedia : flower
        “A flower, sometimes known as a bloom or blossom, is the reproductive structure found in flowering plants (plants of the division Angiospermae). The biological function of a flower is to facilitate reproduction, . . . ”
        .

    2. My thoughts on the love verse I wrote, way back when in verse 6, had less to do with apple juice, but that the apple being shared by the lovers was so juicy, it ran down the chin and in an intimate moment, one licked it away from the chin of the other.

      I didn’t realize it would blossom into a controversy (or actually another controversy) further on down the line. Sorry John, Lorin, and any of the other poets I may have offended.

      Thanks John for running this renku. I don’t envy your job at all of picking the last verse.
      Thanks for letting me participate, too, as Michelangelo said, “Ancorao imparo” (I am still learning.)

      1. I don’t think there is any controversy or offence, Nancy. Just a little banter.
        On a personal note I think it is a very sensual verse, and brought back some vivid memories of a time when this happened with my soul mate but with a very good malt whisky 🙂

        Happy days.

        1. Carol,
          I can imagine this especially if it is Glenlivet, preferably the 12-year-old, not that I am speaking from experience (wink, wink).

          PS. Glad there was no offense taken; love learning about renku from all of you.

      2. There’s no controversy, Nancy, and I don’t see how you’ve offended anyone. Quoting John, from this week’s preface:

        “I must admit that I have been more than usually distracted by other matters while this session has been in progress and have missed a number of things that I probably wouldn’t have, otherwise. The latest example is that I have suggested that this might be a cherry blossom verse, as is often the case when we get to the spring blossom. But I had not considered that we had already included references to pine and apple (verses five and six), which would tend to forestall any further tree references in so short a renku. So, no cherry, plum, pear nor, of course, apple blossoms. This leaves other kinds of spring flowers but I do regret not sending you in that direction in last week’s instructions. ” – John Stevenson

        No further tree references, considering “that we had already included references to pine and apple” .

        (and we are all still learning.)

  41. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw

    beyond the grave are skylarks
    we believe

    a fair east wind
    to the promised land

    shining wind fills the sails
    of the first boat home

    some sacrament left over
    for the rising carp

    so many candles glow
    on buddha’s birthday

    soap bubbles
    too pretty to pop

    (or if we can’t have pop after poppies, then ‘burst’)

    balloons of all colors
    swept off by the wind

    geese depart
    in skeins of sunset

  42. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    another story
    keeps the melancholy at bay
    *
    twittering birds add their side
    to the story
    *

    1. revision for a closer link:
      *
      another tale
      keeps the melancholy at bay
      *
      a tale contributed
      by twittering birds
      *

  43. Wonderful Richard! And thanks, John,for keeping us going!

    tranquil smiles and nods
    completing the day

  44. gaping potholes
    Emerald City blues

    joss stick smoke
    wafts over the devout

    our naked ecstasy
    renewal in the rain

  45. Congratulations Richard, very creative.
    Thank you John, for stopping and commenting on my poem. Made my day. Bless you

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    — Richard Straw

    the mountain in view
    melting snow

  46. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    — Richard Straw
    *
    tadpoles curiouser
    and curioser
    – Betty Shropshire

  47. Thanks, John, for selecting this week one of my verses. And thanks to everyone for your comments, congratulations, and follow-up contributions. It’s been humbling and inspiring this summer to spend a little while with so many imaginative people.

    As Walt Whitman wrote in “O Me! O Life!” and as Robin Williams quoted in “Dead Poets Society,” “…the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”

    +++

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    insects
    flurry
    *
    the day
    lingers
    *
    winds
    shine
    *
    the heat
    shimmers
    *
    kites
    vanish

  48. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    the sign and wonder
    of the shining wind
    *
    bowing just enough
    to the spring thunder
    *

  49. Congrats, Richard!!
    *
    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    – Richard Straw
    *
    shipwrecks come to life
    with schools of red snapper
    – Betty Shrosphire

  50. Congratulations Richard!

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    ——Richard Straw
    .

    a shady nap
    on Buddha’s Birthday
    .

    spring clouds drift over
    the emerald city

  51. Congratulations, Richard, and thank you John for the mentions.

    pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies

    — Richard Straw

    spring slug-abeds
    roused by the rooster

    come beachcombing
    before the tide rises!

    rollicking laughter
    at the reeve’s tale

  52. pilgrims
    falling among
    poppies
    *
    Richard Straw
    *
    the serenity
    of silent reflection
    *
    finding tranquility
    in common cause
    *

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