The Renku Sessions: Barely Time – Week 12
Hello again. This is John Stevenson and I am facilitating a twelve verse renku, in the Jûnichô style. Over the course of this session, we will add one new verse each week, selected from your offers.
Thirty-three poets offered a total of 175 verse eleven candidates this time.
I must admit that I have been more than usually distracted by other matters while this session has been in progress and have missed a number of things that I probably wouldn’t have, otherwise. The latest example is that I have suggested that this might be a cherry blossom verse, as is often the case when we get to the spring blossom. But I had not considered that we had already included references to pine and apple (verses five and six), which would tend to forestall any further tree references in so short a renku. So, no cherry, plum, pear nor, of course, apple blossoms. This leaves other kinds of spring flowers but I do regret not sending you in that direction in last week’s instructions.
Here are just some of the verses that caught my eye this time, including some that I will pass over because of my poor instructions and through no fault of the various poets:
something within me
opens
with the plum blossoms
Laurie Greer
in the darkening day
cherry blossoms
glow in the shadows
Jonathan Alderfer
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
Richard Straw
This is unusual because the kigo is not the blossom; it’s “pilgrimage” (all spring).
a magpie
swoops down past the pink
camellias
Lorin Ford
an early photo
of camellias
in black and white
Keith Evetts
spring orchids
ready
or not
Keith Evetts
Of course, verse nine invokes a children’s game, as does “ready or not.”
first blossoms
unfurl
the sun
Sushama Kapur
“Blossoms” are generally presumed to be cherry blossoms in renku unless otherwise specified, just as “moon” is presumed to be an autumn moon unless otherwise specified.
the kitten
chasing a petal
of primrose
Ronald Degler
We have a horse and the Spanish name for turtle in verse four. Another animal seems like a lot for such a short renku.
tickling
the ivory petals
of camellia
Tracy Davidson
wild rose
out of reach
of her hands now
Radmanani sarma
This is very tempting. But verse number nine involves a game played with hand gestures (which is also a presumptive link to the piano in verse ten).
a violet blossom
perfuming the tress
in her locket
Laurie Greer
A borrowed scent in verse five?
look, the hedge is
swelling with
blackthorn blossom
polona oblak
a minor detour
to pick a posy
of vivid violets
Keith Evetts
OUR ELEVENTH VERSE
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
Richard Straw
Our Renku, So Far
BARELY TIME
short night
barely time
to count the stars
Keith Evetts
9/11 still fresh
in our memories
Lorin Ford
somehow forgetting
the baby
in the back seat
Tracy Davidson
a racehorse
named Tortuga
Dan Campbell
the fog
has borrowed its scent
from the pines
Polona Oblak
he licks the apple juice
on her chin
Nancy Brady
walking barefoot
we take each other
prisoner
Jonathan Alderfer
snow moon
rests on granite
Susan Grant
scissors
cuts
paper
Betty Shropshire
missing keys
of the piano
Amoolya Kamalnath
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
Richard Straw
THIS WEEK
Please offer candidates for our twelfth, and final, verse, using these guidelines:
- Two lines
- A spring verse with a non-vegetation kigo from our list: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html
- Linking with the eleventh verse only (no obvious linking to any of the first ten verses)
- Without an internal grammatical break or pause
Please enter your offers in the comments section, below. Offers should be made by midnight, eastern US time, on Monday, September 5th. On Thursday, September 8th, I will post a selection of the offers, with my comments, and select the final verse for “Barely Time.”
Looking forward to your offers,
John Stevenson
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
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pilgrims
falling among
poppies — Richard Straw
.
a blackbird’s revelation
at Adlestrop
.
Yes, I know : we already have a place name ( Tortuga/Turtle Island/ ) that becomes a horse’s name (Tortuga) and before that that the horse’s name was Molasses, and in a layer beneath Molasses is the short-lived proper noun, Earthrise, as a kind of literary pentimento , but I simply couldn’t resist, since Keith showed me the poem, ‘Adlestrop’, by Edward Thomas. 🙂
Thank you John for guiding us through this short renku. The variety of unique verses by so many poets makes for a fine learning sandbox.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
woolgathering
spring clouds
after consulting the dictionary:
we wool-gather
about spring clouds
may wind blows
fallen scarecrow away
the gong behind
red temple doors
wendy c. bialek
the bong behind
red temple doors
wendy c. bialek
twittering
behind temple doors
forgot to include a kigo on the list!!!
I haven’t checked in for a few weeks. Looks like this renku has been going on swimmingly. Gorgeous work, here.
Here are my suggestions…
that old grey tomcat
still yowling down the lane
spring rain ticks time
on the Tabard Inn’s windows
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
– Richard Straw
*
white lace curtains billow
as the east winds pick up
– Betty Shropshire
– Betty Shropshire
pilgrims
fallen among
poppies
-Richard Straw
Nirvana Ceremony
all this way for nothing
Congrats on a lovely lyrical verse, Richard.
*
a pinwheel planted
in a flower pot
*
beach combing
for unknown treasure
*
sanding the rust
from a faithful plow
*
the back and forth
creak of swings
*
soap bubbles
blown beyond view
*
the soft light
of a lingering day
*
a light snow
on upturned faces
(Richard’s verse reminded me of The Wizard of Oz)
*
Thank you, John! I hope you have had success in recruiting a leader for the next session. This one went by quickly!
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
——Richard Straw
.
skipping down
the yellow dust road
.
a ruby wink
from the lingering sun
.
mending kites
on a still day
.
frog song
fills the void
Wonderful sequence!
Congratulations!
Following Richard Straw’s:
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
****
dreams suspended
among ice floes
*
floating robes
of silkworm threads
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
–Richard Straw
Congrats, Richard, on your verse.
spring noontime reminds
one of warmer days to come
.
springtime warmth a harbinger
of hot days ahead
.
spring’s warmth heats the asphalt
producing schlieren lines
.
.
in every nook and corner
a warm smell of bread
.
the birthday balloon
showering confetti
.
colourful kites dot
the bright sky
.
black buttons
forage forward
offerings:
.
the silent shadows
within the shadows
.
at last! the seasons
change for good
.
the gentle breeze
carrying stories of the past
.
Lakshmi Iyer
india
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
spring wind brings the retreat
of melancholy
Now without mountains….
skylarks all along
the high road
— plus:
dunking sore feet
in the waters of spring
a healing rebirth
in the waters of spring
Hi John! I’m new to renku as you may have observed. I’m still trying to understand the do’s and don’ts.
I would like to ask you if mountains can be linked to granite and hence is expected not to be used for this verse.
That’s a good question. There are fewer absolute answers than you might expect in a game with so many “rules.”
The granite in Susan Grant’s verse 8 may be viewed as a mountain. I, personally, thought of it equally as monument, public stairway or tomb stone. It could be any of these things and others, too. If one of them was obviously the image in play, over all the others, that image would be something we would want to steer clear of. In a short renku, such as this one, we would steer clear for the entire remaining verses. In longer renku, we would want to steer clear for some number of verses. And, even then, we would not want any strong and obvious connections – strong enough to draw the attention of a reasonable reader back to a prior verse.
But all of these terms – strong, obvious, connections, draw, attention, reasonable – are capable of promoting multiple images, just as “granite” does.
For what it’s worth, I think that a renku poet who is relaxed has a better chance of enjoying the experience of composition than one who is tense. So, to answer your question: I won’t be selecting a twelfth verse with “mountain” in it.
Thank you, John, for taking the time and explaining! 🙂
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
– Richard Straw
*
the gulf shaped anew
by the spring tide
– Betty Shropshire
Thank you John for guiding us in this session
****
swamp frog searching
for home in the fog
******
that splash when a frog
leaps from the log
*****
lonely croaks
multiplying in the fog
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
spring wind
brings an end to suffering
*
an in breath of spring wind
brings an end to suffering
*
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
how it feels to fulfill
the goal of a lifetime
*
the selfie that makes it
official
*
oops–forgot something:
*
the shining wind fulfills
the goal of a lifetime
*
the selfie with a kite
that makes it official
*
Congratulations, Richard!
spring lantern
lighting the inside
the old man keeps
soap bubbles afloat
lamp lighting for
Buddha’s birthday
waking up smug
on a spring day
spring wind
surfaces in the breath
shining wind
on the pure soul
drawing strength from
spring thunder
spring fields
springing up there
the golden peak
on melting snow
beach combing
impossible with high tide
the gas balloon
rushing up in haste
soap bubbles
waddles up in puffs
birds enter clouds
and find epiphany
a lingering day in
beach shade
hazy moon
just above the horizon
shining wind
on the tarp’s sleeves
Oops… I think… cancel hazy moon.
There’s moon already in an earlier verse.
such a tender poem, richard, congrats!!!! john, your apologies are accepted…hope your distractions are the creative kind and i look forward to your next sabaki
( polona oblak pine ) pick so you can fully focus on what rings your bell now.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
Richard Straw
passing
spring
wendy c. bialek
Congratulations Richard, a deep verse.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
— Richard Straw
*
geese rise
to scribe the sky
*
waters of spring
fill the furrows
*
spring tide
feeds sweet-fish
relics of old wars
under the plow
skylarks all along
the high road to the mountains
an arrow of geese
heads for vanishing point
never know why some
get high on yellow dust
dawn skylarks
celebrate nirvana
telltale messages
tied to a kite
the roadside vendor’s
many baby birds go cheep
pilgrims
falling among
poppies — Richard Straw
.
a butterfly
returning . . .
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
-Richard Straw
drawing on the spring soil’s
magical alkaloids
oh the view
as this swing swings high
spirits soar
beneath spring sky
’tis wise to catch a nap
on a long day
the way smiles creep
up on a lingering day
landing a triple lutz
just at spring dawn
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
– Richard Straw
*
an east wind builds
the deep blue ocean waves
– Betty Shropshire
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
Richard Straw
.
flat on our backs
making up cloudy spring tales
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
— Richard Straw
haze on the horizon
seen from the mountains
balloons carry him away
in his dreams
an avalanche of emotion
at the end of the trip
swing of a new beat
playing on the radio
the long trip
comes to a serene end
plastic bottles crumple
on the burning hills
Congratulations Richard!
.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
Richard Straw
.
.
so much yellow dust
in those ruby slippers
.
.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
– Richard Straw
*
the prow whitens
as the spring tides recede
– Betty Shropshire
departing geese
at the sea’s edge
the founding fathers
comb a pristine beach
geese moved on
by the highway patrol
swallows leave
a message for the cops
a frog jumps out
of the camper’s water
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
the shining wind
that leaves me be
*
how deep spring conjugates
the verb to be
*
all together now
in the shining wind
*
why not deep spring
as an opiate of the masses
*
the draw
of deep spring
*
Laurie,
how deep spring conjugates
the verb to be
I think this verse is marvelous (and it makes me smile) just because of the idea of conjugation of verbs, especially to be.
I sure am glad that I don’t have to choose a final verse from all the wonderful verses from all the poets I am reading. Good luck, John
John Thanks for leading another great Renku
pinwheels at
max rpm
out on thin ice for
untimely remarks
exiting the swing at
the top of its arc
only the village drunk
can follow a butterfly
*****
a butterfly
following the village drunk
*****
the village drunk
following the butterfly
*****
butterfly
without a flight plan
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
embracing twilight
the hazy moon
I let the kite
have all the string
a little boy’s balloon
headed for the moon
embraced by warmth
hazy moon
Congratulations dear Richard, many more from you
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
Richard Straw
*********
Coming of spring
yet killing her moods in garden
**
In spring dawn
her shutting one window
****
last frost
her tale of winter again sets
****
*****
mewing cats
all love still for the driving master
***
**
his kite of despondency
after results in spring sky
**
her fever unable to take
Still cold of spring
**
her notes on piano
striking spring melody in melancholy
Thanks Johnson, for your kind mention; it is so encouraging and rewarding.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
the soul’s sample
spun on a pinwheel
*
a sample of the soul set
spinning on a pinwheel
*
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
pinwheel in lieu
of a scallop shell
*
breathing in
the spring lantern light
*
a butterfly’s progress
against the breeze
the red snapper’s path
lies upstream
finding enlightenment
while beach combing
Sorry about the earlier post. I’ve modified to this:
.
.
much laughter
as soap bubbles ascend
.
a lingering heat
shimmers on the road
.
eyes serene
on the peak
.
the swing in the yard
still moving
.
a warm afternoon
fans out
.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
— Richard Straw
—
a soaring skylark
lifts the spirits
pushing on deeper
into the high spring mountains
eager for a trip
into the spring mountains
despite all distractions
birds enter clouds
the eccentric flight
of a swallow
afghans keep silkworms
only in dreams
survivors till the fields
without complaint
Congratulations Richard! Lovely verse.
Thank you, John, for the mention. I’m still learning the renku rules.
.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
-Richard Straw
.
much laughter
as soap bubbles
ascend
.
a lingering
heat shimmer
on the road
.
eyes
serene
on the peak
.
the swing
in the backyard
still moving
.
a warm
afternoon
fans out
.
Sorry about the earlier post. I’ve modified to this:
.
.
much laughter
as soap bubbles ascend
.
a lingering heat
shimmers on the road
.
eyes serene
on the peak
.
the swing in the yard
still moving
.
a warm afternoon
fans out
.
Congratulations, Richard.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies – Richard Straw
.
John, you remark that “This is unusual because the kigo is not the blossom; it’s “pilgrimage” (all spring).”
It’s “live & learn” for me and has become confusing. Your instructions were “A spring blossom verse: traditionally cherry blossom but any spring blossom from our list: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html ”
So now there’s no blossom verse because we’ve had “apple juice” and apples grow on apple trees before being processed into juice (so Nancy’s link to Polona’s previous verse appears to rely on the fact that several stages before there was apple juice a blossoming tree was involved and Polona’s verse had ‘pines’ (noun, plural) a non-blossoming tree. Therefore, we can’t have any blossom that grows on trees (or even on bushes, such as camellias ?) for the blossom verse.
So, we have ‘pilgrims’ ( those who go on ‘pilgrimages’) and ‘pilgrimage’ is a spring kigo on the list . We have poppies, and we have pilgrims falling about among a field of them. Poppies are not blossoms at all but flowers, and the sap (or juice) of one particular variety is easily extracted and used for medical (and other) purposes , so the pilgrims might very well be falling about with joy in a poppy field. (Reminds me of the ’60s.)
.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies – Richard Straw
.
soap bubbles now
from grandpa’s opium pipe (Lorin)
Oxford English Dictionary: blossom
1. ‘The flower that grows on any plant, previous to the seed or fruit. We generally call those flowers blossoms, which are not much regarded in themselves, but as a token of some following production’ (Johnson).
Blostma, blosme was the Old English word for ‘flower’, previous to the adoption of Old Norse blóm (bloom n.1), and Old French flor, flur (flower n.). See bloom
a. As a count noun: an individual flower.
—
b. collectively. The mass of flowers on a fruit tree, etc. (Cf. bloom n.1 1c) Hence in blossom. Also said of grain, grass, etc.
—
c. A stage of development which answers to that of blossom. Cf. flower n. 11, bloom n.1 2.
Wikipedia : blossom: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blossom
–
“In botany, blossoms are the flowers of stone fruit trees (genus Prunus) and of some other plants with a similar appearance that flower profusely for a period of time in spring.
Colloquially, flowers of orange are referred to as such as well. Peach blossoms (including nectarine), most cherry blossoms, and some almond blossoms are usually pink. Plum blossoms, apple blossoms, orange blossoms, some cherry blossoms, and most almond blossoms are white.[1]
Blossoms provide pollen to pollinators such as bees, and initiate cross-pollination necessary for the trees to reproduce by producing fruit.[2] : ”
.
Dictionary
Definitions from Oxford Languages : flower
1.
the seed-bearing part of a plant, consisting of reproductive organs (stamens and carpels) that are typically surrounded by a brightly coloured corolla (petals) and a green calyx (sepals).
.
Wikipedia : flower
“A flower, sometimes known as a bloom or blossom, is the reproductive structure found in flowering plants (plants of the division Angiospermae). The biological function of a flower is to facilitate reproduction, . . . ”
.
My thoughts on the love verse I wrote, way back when in verse 6, had less to do with apple juice, but that the apple being shared by the lovers was so juicy, it ran down the chin and in an intimate moment, one licked it away from the chin of the other.
I didn’t realize it would blossom into a controversy (or actually another controversy) further on down the line. Sorry John, Lorin, and any of the other poets I may have offended.
Thanks John for running this renku. I don’t envy your job at all of picking the last verse.
Thanks for letting me participate, too, as Michelangelo said, “Ancorao imparo” (I am still learning.)
I don’t think there is any controversy or offence, Nancy. Just a little banter.
On a personal note I think it is a very sensual verse, and brought back some vivid memories of a time when this happened with my soul mate but with a very good malt whisky 🙂
Happy days.
Carol,
I can imagine this especially if it is Glenlivet, preferably the 12-year-old, not that I am speaking from experience (wink, wink).
PS. Glad there was no offense taken; love learning about renku from all of you.
Ho,Ho, nice choice, winks back to Nancy 🙂
Thanks for your kind reply.
There’s no controversy, Nancy, and I don’t see how you’ve offended anyone. Quoting John, from this week’s preface:
“I must admit that I have been more than usually distracted by other matters while this session has been in progress and have missed a number of things that I probably wouldn’t have, otherwise. The latest example is that I have suggested that this might be a cherry blossom verse, as is often the case when we get to the spring blossom. But I had not considered that we had already included references to pine and apple (verses five and six), which would tend to forestall any further tree references in so short a renku. So, no cherry, plum, pear nor, of course, apple blossoms. This leaves other kinds of spring flowers but I do regret not sending you in that direction in last week’s instructions. ” – John Stevenson
No further tree references, considering “that we had already included references to pine and apple” .
(and we are all still learning.)
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
beyond the grave are skylarks
we believe
a fair east wind
to the promised land
shining wind fills the sails
of the first boat home
some sacrament left over
for the rising carp
so many candles glow
on buddha’s birthday
soap bubbles
too pretty to pop
(or if we can’t have pop after poppies, then ‘burst’)
balloons of all colors
swept off by the wind
geese depart
in skeins of sunset
Congrats Richard, we featured your book, The Hiker Sees His Shadow, as Book of the Week in August 2021.
https://thehaikufoundation.org/book-of-the-week-the-hiker-sees-his-shadow-a-broadsheet-of-haiku-by-richard-straw/
*****
a tadpole in a jar
gazing at the stars
a tadpole in a jar
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
-Richard Straw
soap bubbles fore
and aft
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
another story
keeps the melancholy at bay
*
twittering birds add their side
to the story
*
revision for a closer link:
*
another tale
keeps the melancholy at bay
*
a tale contributed
by twittering birds
*
Wonderful Richard! And thanks, John,for keeping us going!
tranquil smiles and nods
completing the day
gaping potholes
Emerald City blues
joss stick smoke
wafts over the devout
our naked ecstasy
renewal in the rain
edit- the above seems more autumnal.
swallows swoop
through the temple windows
swallows depart
through the temple windows
An awesome verse, Richard, congratulations.
Congratulations Richard, very creative.
Thank you John, for stopping and commenting on my poem. Made my day. Bless you
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
— Richard Straw
the mountain in view
melting snow
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
— Richard Straw
*
tadpoles curiouser
and curioser
– Betty Shropshire
fixing the spelling:
tadpoles curiouser
and curiouser
Thanks, John, for selecting this week one of my verses. And thanks to everyone for your comments, congratulations, and follow-up contributions. It’s been humbling and inspiring this summer to spend a little while with so many imaginative people.
As Walt Whitman wrote in “O Me! O Life!” and as Robin Williams quoted in “Dead Poets Society,” “…the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”
+++
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
insects
flurry
*
the day
lingers
*
winds
shine
*
the heat
shimmers
*
kites
vanish
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
the sign and wonder
of the shining wind
*
bowing just enough
to the spring thunder
*
Congrats, Richard!!
*
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
– Richard Straw
*
shipwrecks come to life
with schools of red snapper
– Betty Shrosphire
Congratulations Richard!
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
——Richard Straw
.
a shady nap
on Buddha’s Birthday
.
spring clouds drift over
the emerald city
Congratulations, Richard, and thank you John for the mentions.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
— Richard Straw
—
spring slug-abeds
roused by the rooster
come beachcombing
before the tide rises!
rollicking laughter
at the reeve’s tale
#3 rollicking… oops, no kigo. Carried away. Removed.
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
Richard Straw
*
the serenity
of silent reflection
*
finding tranquility
in common cause
*
time still
for planting seed
pilgrims
falling among
poppies
*
a red balloon tied
to a curious box along a deserted road