The Renku Sessions: A Day of Snow 21
Greetings and welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s Fourth Renku Session: A Day of Snow. I am Marshall Hryciuk of Toronto Canada and i will be the leader of a 36-link Kasen renku. I’ve led over 40 of these linked-poem gatherings and my latest book, from Carleton Place, Canada is a selection of 15 of them, called petals in the dark.
Greetings renku makers! Our verse number 21 is:
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
–Barbara A. Taylor
There are two ways of spreading sympathy. One is by increasing the number of people involved; that is, by quantity. The other is by intensifying the feeling at source. This developing the sympathy’s quality would then generate a keener participation. By writing from within our renku rather than towards it, the poet here has our subject embody the new year itself-not as reported in the newspapers or noticed in the third person; this “first visitor” is the new year in its sustained beaming. It does this “with joy” because it is complete within itself, without comportment or objective description. It’s guilelessly just shining in arrival.
“Presents” even provides a bit of giddy wordplay, while “a tray of passionfruit” offers out particles of this shine in a plethora of exotic berries-probably imported, but right here, right now, in front of the hospice New Year attendees. A shining moment. Thank you very much, Barbara.
For our next verse we need 2 lines, no particular seasonality. Think not so much of activities such as swimming that could be argued to be performed in any season, but rather of things you perform day in, day out, such as eating, drinking, washing, walking or shopping, etc.-though of course here, eating would be too close to the tray of passionfruit. We still have to link to and shift from this glowing verse #21.
Happy linking,
Marshall
A Day of Snow to Date
a day of snow
no one else
has come to the door–Marshall Hrycuik
coyote song closer
this longest night–Judt Shrode
incense lit
the scent of sage
lingers in a crowd
–Maureen Virchau
bales of the second haying
stacked to the rafters–Paul MacNeil
dust from travelers
makes its slow descent
in the moonlight–steve smolak
faded jeans, school colors
and granny’s specs to match–Betty Shropshire
facing me
a hairy bunyip points
the bones
–Barbara A. Taylor
balls of moss
exit the quaking forest
–Carmen Sterba
in the garden shop
seed packets
arrayed alphabetically
–Marilyn Potter
glasswing on the handle
of my butterfly net
–Karen Cesar
a gypsy’s forecast
uttered to the sound
of rolling dice–Lorin Ford
trick-or-treaters skip
under a new moon
–Maureen Virchau
horses’ foggy snorts
lead our morning jaunt
along the track
–Marietta McGregor
scanning an empty platform
as the train chugs off
–Shrikaanth Krishnamurthy
I sit in silence
behind the steering wheel
awhile–Paul Geiger
the ewe gently nudges
her lambs to move on
–Mary Kendall
one white tulip
in a sunlit border
glows against the green
–Marietta McGregor
another soul in the limelight
of #blacklivesmatter
–Agnes Eva Savich
Bastille Day
fireworks
extinguished
–Marion Clarke
recruitment of volunteers
for the hospice New Year’s Eve–Gabriel Sawicki
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit–Barbara A. Taylor
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It’s occurred to me that in context of ‘hospice’ in v 20, ‘tray’ connected with ‘passionfruit’ in v21 could be version of the Holy Grail.
—
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
–Barbara A. Taylor
—
Sir Percy forgets to ask
the essential question
—
– Lorin
a long walk
reinstitutes daily routines
sorry, Paul, “reinstitutes” just too brutal a word for our renku -even ‘reconstitutes’ would have some wit to it -and still be’ tooting’ too
hacking into mainframes
third cubicle on your left
fairly sardonic, Betty -would bring the voice of a software-developer floor-manager into our renku -which i don’t want to do
freshly squeezed paint
on the artist’s palette
this has a nice smell to it, Maureen, but i think i want something more abstract for this link
internet surfing
into a black hole
little too metaphorical here, joel, but thanks for trying
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
–Barbara A. Taylor
—
all those speculations
re: the Mayan calendar
—
– Lorin
a tray of speculations, then Lorin? Don’t want to mention “calendar” when we’re trying to leave the New Year’s section
No link to ‘tray’ Marshall. The link is to passionfruit, their origins in Sth. America . . . a Mayan fruit, the name ‘passionfruit’ given by Jesuit missionaries and the flower converted to a symbol of the Passion of Christ . . . and the passionfruit’s many seeds.)
I understood that you didn’t want ‘calendar’ of any kind and surmised this proscription would extend to all manner of time-keeping and that this verse wouldn’t be in the running.
—
– Lorin
Pokemon searching
on the way back (from work)
certainly topical to the pop culture, Maria -but the brackets make the words within them seem optional -but without them that would mean the “first visitor” is searching for Pokémon -which won’t ‘do’ -and with these words it just seems like an unrelated activity from a different subject
a young waiter checks his hair
in the fish knife
when you say, “young waiter”, Marion, it seems a bit judgmental to me -it is cooking at one remove, but a server is still too close to a “first visitor” who delivers for our renku
she pulls up her scarf
to hide her blushing face
any mention of “smile” or “face” is too close to what’s “beaming with joy” in the previous verse, Aaalix
or
she pulls up her ecarf
to hide her smile
she pulls her scarf up
to hide her smile
Thanks Ford-san, you have a very powerful insight into things.
-Patrick
I hum Cleaning Windows*
until they sparkle
.
.
*A Van (The Man) Morrison song
yeah, Marion, there was a time (long ago) when i played a Van the Man record at least once a day -but the “sparkle” here is too close to the beams of “beaming with joy” -you did remind me though of Basho’s poem about sweeping so much and for so long he has become a broom -so thanks for that
Yeah, point taken, Marshall. I saw Van love three times, each very different.
Don’t think I do enough housework to become a broom – though I’ve spent enough time in my youth on the back of a motorcycle so maybe I could be like Kaneko and turn into one of those! ?
we watch a documentary
about friendly aliens
so long as they’re not Syrians, eh, Marion? “documentary” too much of a backlink to the “Bastille Day” i’m afraid
for her fifth birthday
a doll that walks and talks
links on “presents” a little too strongly and exclusively, Marion
internet surfing
for my family tree
hi Joel -glad you’re keeping the diction clear and simple -the event you relate to us for our renku needs a little more complexity though
the shopping trolley’s fourth wheel
has a mind of its own
yeah, we’ve all had shopping trips with this kind of cart or trolley, Marietta -but i’m not looking for exasperation right here
at the disco she’s first
on his dance card
at the disco she tops
his dance card
this, “she’s first” has more of the excited energy either she or he would feel, Marietta than in the first version but still feels far-off and distant -like the difference of the boxscore of a baseball game from the playing of the game itself
from a lacy white crib
our firstborn coos at the clouds
Noooo – can’t have ‘first’!
.
.
from a lacy white crib
our baby coos at the clouds
from a lacy white crib
she coos at passing clouds
whoa, Marion -this baby went to bed with the ewe’s “nudge”
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
–Barbara A. Taylor
—
after Pulp Fiction
black seeds between his teeth
—
– Lorin
a little close, shall we say, Lorin? -though i was thinking of “the Shining”
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
–Barbara A. Taylor
—
again I replay
the three Matrix movies
—
(for Patrick 🙂 )
– Lorin
one for Keanu
she breathes whispers
into her cell phone
alluring, Aalix -and i guess it links the cell technology with the beams of “beaming” -but that puts too heavy a twist on them
distracted by
the landscapers six pack
interesting use of internal rhyme, Jennifer -but even the shift in distraction is not supported enough by a link to the previous verse
Morning Edition
or the three tenors?
quite a shift, Judt, but not enough specific link -it would feel more like a link back to “Bastille Day” and Current Events than to this last verse
the ring bearer’s
little white tux
Oh, for heaven’s sake. I guess most people don’t do that every day………..?!?!
hey there, Judt -I suggested thinking of things we do everyday as an approach to making a ‘no particular season’ kind of link offering just to make it easier -not to make it mandatory -“the ring bearer” can’t be used here, not because it’s so extra-ordinary, but because it repeats the gesture of “the first visitor” as making a marvellous delivery
below our bedroom window
the milkman’s hurried footsteps
Gosh – does that sound like something illicit is going on?
.
.
morning silence broken
by the milkman’s whistle
yes it does, Marion -but the redo has too much of “Morning is broken …” -but anyway -we had the “first visitor” make a wonderful delivery in the previous verse so this guy has no chance
I stop to admire a rainbow
in the sink bubbles
well, Marion, this one pushes ‘the everyday’ into the forefront -still concerned with the light in “beaming” being repeated in the rainbow, though -but thanks
sensing my toddler’s presence
before he lifts my eyelids
sensing our toddler’s breath
before he lifts my eyelids
(to avoid repetition of ‘my’)
nice feeling to the scene, Marion -but links more to a New Year’s section, i think, than shifting from and on out of it
my breakfast glass topped up
with morning sunshine
too close to “beams of joy”, Marion
sorry, that should be “beaming with joy” as the lines, but we can’t have this kind of ‘in-dwelling shine’ repeated here
Hmmm I’m going to have to rethink my linking, Marshall. Reading through your comments they are obviously too heavy-handed ?
Oops! That should have read ‘it’s’ too heavy handy – to refer to my linking.
morning sun glinting off
the espresso machine
yeah, Judt, we could go from food to drink but “glinting off” a little too close to “beaming” in the previous verse
dogeared notebook
tucked behind the pots and pans
“…hope you guess my name”
above the drone of her vacuum
vacuuming to ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ -that’s novel, Betty -but not the link I was looking for
well, Betty, a reference to canines could be allowed once again -but i’m thinking i want to get away from food and cooking altogether for this one
“Splendid!” comes to mind, Barbara.
.
.
fresh link fix
for the renku junkie
.
🙂
an unfamiliar cord
dangles from my charger
this is deft enough, Liz Ann -it’s just that i prefer the earlier submission by Michael Henry when it comes to “personal devices”
the buzzing of a bluebottle
as I flip through the channels
this is a good link: channels to the tray, Theresa -but it’s a bit long and i’m wary of the soft rhyme of the lines -i’ll have to consider whether i think our renku can absorb this -thanks
in our rush off to work
making time for the cat
don’t feel much of a link here, Michael
smartphone
all the whiskerprints on it
this one’s sharper in focus, Todd, and original -have to think about this one, thanks
my walkingstick
it was once my father’s companion
seems to link back in time -and then if we look back in our renku, we have a hospice -so i’d rather not use this one
” when my baby smiles at me
I go to Rio”
Peter Allen & 2016 Olympics
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=592MkMV-Uog
a shower a shave and
a large cup of joe
a shower a shave and
a big cup of joe
please ignore this one!
the commuter train full
of personal devices
this one has potential, Michael, if you think of each car in the train as a tray -thanks
trouble is we had “train” so close before -maybe if you can accept “commuter car”, Michael, this would be more acceptable
our favorite happy hour
before we head home
naw, still prefer the ‘whisky flight’ for pub fare, Michael
swirls of vinegar flies accompany
a trip to the compost heap
.
To give them their correct name and avoid repeating ‘fruit’!
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
.
–Barbara A. Taylor
.
swirls of fruit flies accompany
a trip to the compost heap
too much like continuing the narrative plot, Marietta -even with the correct name
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
.
–Barbara A. Taylor
.
Very enjoyable Barbara! I’m enjoying passionfruit right now.
up to my elbows
in soap suds and peelings
well, Marilyn, you’re certainly trying to link from within our renku -is this fromhulking and washing the passionfruit or an aftermath to a ‘grand cooking’ in general?
Ya don’t hulk or wash passionfruit, Marshall. Ya just scoop out the pulp.
– Lorin
whatever you do don’t tell them about Padre Pio
piercing the bottom of your foot in the night
-Patrick
Ha, Patrick … it’ s not Padre Pio piecing my feet but the bloody steel pins the surgeon put in my big toes! Winter doesn’t help.
– Lorin
…but I did get it, Patrick 🙂 …where passionfruit originated and why they’re called ‘passionfruit’.
The Jesuits were down there colonizing Sth, America before the Mayflower mob were told to shape up or ship out of England.
Passionfruit, potatoes, tomatoes, climbing beans. maize, girasole… we owe a lot to the Mayans.
– Lorin
let’s meet at the pub
for happy hour
this would probably be fun, Jennifer, but as a linking drinking verse, i prefer the single malt whisky flight of Paul’s at the start of this verse’s offerings
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
—
whipping more egg whites
in the pavlova kitchen
—
– Lorin
just about got the scientist mixed in with the ballerina, Lorin -and a ‘Pavlova’ is a kind of dessert, i didn’t know about -anyway, don’t want another kind of food here
Yep, a pavlova is a common and popular dessert, one that often uses passionfruit. Ways to use up all that pulp must be found, & the pav is a favourite, .
Well, in yr directions, Marshall, you want verses with common activities linking Barbara’s verse but excluding eating, and now you don’t want anything to do with “another kind of food”.
I do find it hard to guess what you have in mind!
—
Back to the drawing board!
– Lorin
ah, now I get the gist of Marshall’s rather cryptic: “guess i prefer passionfruit to peaches, Lorin . . . “
Sorry Barbara, I hadn’t noticed this verse of yours in the thread. Congratulations …& it’s good to see the humble backyard passionfruit feature in this renku. January is on target, too, for the fruits to have ripened in a good year. I see the “first visitor” in this ku as a child, possibly visiting a beloved grandparent.
—
– Lorin
Gosh! Thank you Marshall, and all for comments.
This is actually true. My neighbour was indeed my first visitor this
year, and he brought a bag of freshly picked passionfruit from his
very large passionfruit orchard. Delicious! He now plans to uproot these plants and add to his extensive acerage of Avocado trees.
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
.
–Barbara A. Taylor
.
.
smiles given in passing
to strangers on the street
this one, Mary, feels like it’s still linking into the New Year’s seasonality -that’s over -we’re linking with it and shifting, not staying there
It’s your choice of course, but personally I like smiles from strangers all year ’round. I’m not sure why it feels like New Year still since smiling is at any time. Oh well, I’ll move on.
A really lovely verse, Barbara!
.
beaming with joy
the first visitor presents
a tray of passionfruit
.
–Barbara A. Taylor
.
.
flossing without fail
and no complaints
who even suggests “complaints”, Mary?
Hmmm, I do. I floss diligently but tend to complain about having to do it. I think others might also dislike the task though they do it faithfully.
Congrats, Barbara! A wonderfully refreshing verse. Great choice, Marshall.
*
handmade soap and a loofah
to exfoliate my skin
thanks, Maureen -I hope we’re all refreshed! Too much explicit functionality in your offering, however
as the curtain rises
silencing my cell phone
or perhaps just:
as the curtain rises
silencing my phone
Sorry, just noticed “silence” in one of the other verses, so please disregard this one.
yeah, Theresa, though it’s before verse 18, “silence” is a very weighted word
Congratulations, Barbara! I like this image…
coral polyps close
as the reef shark passes
they probably do, Paul, but this is too cause-and-effect in a direct relation for my kind of renku
the pub offers a flight
of single-malt whiskys
like this, Paul, in that the pub menu actually calls the row of tasters a ‘flight’ -I would write ‘whiskies’ though
The correct plural seems to be up in the air, Marshall. Being from Scotland (i.e. single malt), Internet search seems to favor the plural as I wrote it. No doubt the plural of whiskey (with an E) is whiskies. But to preserve the Scot meaning it is often written as whisky (no E, either singular or plural). I can go either way . . .