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The Renku Sessions: A Better Look – Week 13

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We were blessed with 125 verse thirteen offers this week, from 25 poets. Marion Clarke is our selector and reports as follows:

“What a lot of amusing and noisy verses were offered this week and, as John has pointed out, this was the right time to introduce some humour into our renku! Thanks so much for all your wonderful offerings.

Here is a list of those that caught my attention. Many more did, some quite bawdy, but they weren’t included in the selection because they linked back to earlier verses; for example, to vehicles with “smoke signals” and the “Mustang” or to the varying forms of the Arts such as painting, music, poetry, graphic art and arguably even porn.

Right away, I smiled at this one from Dana Rapisardi that remembered the costume-wearing Village People:

what a shock
when she married
the construction worker

And Andrew Shimield’s was in the same vein, although it might have been better without using the word “love” in our love verse.

she fell in love
with a Stormtrooper
at Comicon

Dan Campbell’s “inflatable girlfriend” was very amusing, but perhaps we should stick with real people in our love verse!

This offering from Laurie Greer had great visuals, both real and imagined:

westernizing
the Kama Sutra
with rope tricks

And Michelle Beyer’s noisy verse reminded me of John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara in The Quiet Man, but with two body parts already, the addition of “shoulder” was one too many:

kicking and
squealing
over his shoulder

Laurie Greer’s offering, perhaps describing making up with a former partner or simply returning to dating after a series of bad experiences, was also noted and “saddle”, “string” and “rough” certainly fitted the cowboy theme well:

back in the saddle
after a string
of rough break-ups

As a huge fan of Neil Young’s work, Michael Henry Lee’s verse comprising of his lyrics did not go unnoticed by this reader, and its pensive “home on the range” scene was effective. However, as John rightly pointed out, we can’t change old Neil Young’s lyrics to sort out line breaks!

comes a time
when you’re drifting comes
a time when you settle down

The following verse from Andrew Shimield was high on my list for lots of reasons (who doesn’t find the French accent sexy!) until I realized he had already had a verse featured in this renku, and a love one at that:

his pulse races
at that french accent
whispered in his ear

Dan Campbell’s very visual, and again potentially noisy, verse with this lively girlfriend was in the running…

she’s more spurs
and bullwhip than
lingerie

as was Clysta Seney’s fringe-wearing cowgirl who has enthralled her lover:

her leather
fringed vest tickles
his hippie heart

With its connection of “rustling,” a slight tweak to remove the break in Jonathan Alderfer’s offering would work:

whispers and a soft laugh
from under
the rustling sheets

 

But the verse I decided to run with is where east meets west. Laurie Greer’s was amusing while suggesting erotic images associated with the Kama Sutra. It also made me think the old Indian rope trick that defies gravity, which added a pinch of mystery.

 

westernizing
the Kama Sutra
with rope tricks

Laurie Greer

Well done to all, and particularly to you, Laurie. Please let John know if you are willing to select next week’s verse.”

John speaking again:

Laurie Greer will now be offered the opportunity to select our next verse. Please let me know, Laurie, if you would like to do so.

And now we move on to our fourteenth verse, the second in a pair of love verses; this time with a seasonal element.

Our fourteenth verse should:

  • consist of two natural, unforced lines
  • constitute a single phrase, without a grammatical break
  • register clearly as a summer love verse

Do not attempt to make your verse a “stand alone” poem. Renku is not a haiku sequence. Think of the fourteenth verse as making a new poem when added to the thirteenth verse. Repeat nothing from the first twelve verses. Be especially careful not to draw our attention back to verse one or verse twelve.

Here is what we have, so far:

 

A Better Look

 

dragonfly…
hovering back
for a better look

John Stevenson

 

the scarecrow’s hat
skims across the pond

Pauline O’Carolan

 

moonrise
finds the farm wife
undoing her braids

Ellen Compton

 

the creak
of the mailbox

Angiola Inglese

 

rising scent
of bosc pears
wrapped in cellophane

Michelle Beyers

 

his chiseled chin
and my smooth thighs

Wendy C. Bialek

 

‘after Picasso
only God’
said Dora Maar

andrew shimield

 

cat devouring
a bird

Kiti Saarinen

 

fresh snowfall
fills the tracks
of a thief

Carol Jones

 

our train chugs into
the station at the ski resort

Maxianne Berger

 

time was
a cigarette commercial
would feature here

Lorin Ford

 

the slow drawl
of her favorite cowboy

Marion Clarke

 

westernizing
the Kama Sutra
with rope tricks

Laurie Greer

 

Please enter your verse offers in the comments box, below. Laurie or I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Monday, November 30 (New York time zone). On Thursday, December 3, there will be a new posting containing the selection for our fourteenth verse and instructions for composition of verse fifteen.

Looking forward to seeing your offers!

John

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/code-of-conduct/

 

 

This Post Has 150 Comments

  1. our sweat incandescent
    pearldrops in the afterglow

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 12/1/20

  2. our starbursting crescendo
    reaching beyond furthest twilight

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 12/1/20

  3. I pick a bouquet of
    white roses for the bride

    *
    at the rendezvous she wears
    a red flower in her hair

  4. crossing the river holding
    my string bikini and a miller

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/30/20

    1. crossing the river holding
      my string bikini and a miller

      Michelle Beyers
      Copyright © 11/30/20

      ***

      crossing the river in a string
      bikini holding a miller light

      Michelle Beyers
      Copyright © 11/30/20

  5. for fun😉

    kissing his long
    black eyelashes

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/30/20

    nibbling his ear
    at twilight

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/30/20

    nibbling his cedar
    scented neck

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/30/20

  6. strolling hand in hand
    in long lamplight shadows

    ***

    strolling hand in hand
    in long lamplight cement shadows

  7. westernizing
    the Kama Sutra
    with rope tricks
    .
    we feed each other fresh apricots
    as our children frolic
    *

  8. feeding him my Buddha
    Delight with chopsticks

    ***

    flickering candlelight dinner
    by the buddha in Chinatown

  9. beyond the bonds
    of holy matrimony
    *******************
    their summer house now
    her writer’s retreat
    **********************
    now the only fireworks
    occur at the display
    *******************
    they avoid eye contact
    behind cheap sunglasses
    **********************
    an anniversary toast
    with long island iced tea
    *********************
    the ceiling fan barley
    drowns out his snores
    *******************
    her perfume still supplies
    the same enchanting affects

  10. she describes an oak tree
    from my hospital window
    *
    swimming slowly together
    towards the sea floor
    *
    our sprints to ice cream
    trucks take longer now

  11. In the wake of John’s advisory, more offerings, sans flowers!
    ***

    they re-tied the knot
    through a sunlit shower
    ***

    the heat they share now
    is just the weather
    ^^^

    facing east
    to salute the sun together

  12. westernizing
    the Kama Sutra
    with rope tricks (Laurie Greer)
    *
    tying the knot
    two brides in rainbow dresses
    *

  13. the bush in the foliage
    lighting up a rainbow

    ***

    the bush in the foliage
    lighting up the milky way

    ***

    the green snake in a bush
    lighting up the milky way

    ***

    the green snake in a bush
    lighting up a rainbow

  14. westernizing
    the Kama Sutra
    with rope tricks
    ——Laurie Greer
    .
    the cerulean sea
    salted your skin
    .
    remember that summer
    we got secret tattoos
    .
    licking the salt
    from your tan lines

  15. spending the long bright days
    plumbing each other’s depths
    *
    spending the long bright days
    taking each other’s measure
    *
    sorry–but this is the best thing I know to stave off panic attacks.
    Keep the fantastic, FUN offerings coming, everyone!

  16. .
    a fiddler crab
    plays nero’s love letters
    .
    the slick of sweat
    trilling
    .
    millions of jellyfish in a sea
    of ambiguity
    .

  17. Congrats Laurie! Your verse reminds me of an old joke: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? 😉 (no disrespect intended – I really liked your verse).
    And thanks Marion for your commentary.
    .
    .
    there’s nothing quite like fresh crab
    straight from the pot
    .
    (sorry couldn’t resist)

  18. the slow drawl
    of her favourite cowboy (Marion Clarke)
    .
    westernizing
    the Kama Sutra
    with rope tricks (Laurie Greer)
    . . .

    Jane plans to swing
    with Tarzan all summer

  19. the slow drawl
    of her favourite cowboy (Marion Clarke)
    .
    westernizing
    the Kama Sutra
    with rope tricks (Laurie Greer)
    . . .

    tanned derrières
    naming names in Indian ink
    .

    the heat in the shade
    of the pier
    .

    grandma turned on by
    a bloke in budgie smugglers
    .

    please, Lord, grant us
    just one more summer of love
    .

    under the ceiling fan
    another summer of love
    .

    our summer of love
    to be continued . . .
    .

  20. Verse 5:

    circumnavigation of the flesh
    in the green leaf shade

    Verse 6:

    naked together
    in the perfumed garden

    Verse 7:

    is it the curry or you
    making me so hot?

    Verse 8:

    his ship foundered
    in her thunderstorm

    1. anticipating when someone will ask,
      “what’s a sabaki summer”?

      .
      spiritual leader twists genders
      in the hot sunday handfasting

    1. oooops! in case this reminds one of god…in andrew’s verse….

      making sunny-eyed babies
      out of beach sand

      1. I was having similar thoughts, Wendy; was about to post:
        *
        again tying their vows
        to the mysteries of Litha
        *

  21. Thank you, everyone, for the offerings so far. At least until (or if ) I get used to this new role, I’d rather leave most of my comments until the end. I hope this doesn’t make me derelict in my duties– but as I said elsewhere, I don’t feel like a leader. I’m only trying to be an attentive reader. Thanks for understanding!

  22. I’m thinking that this might be a good time to say a few things about this love/summer verse.
    .
    The previous verse invokes a sexual relationship. A succeeding love verse should depict a later phase in a relationship. This is in accord with the general principle of always promoting a sense of forward movement in a renku. So, verses about, for instance, a blind date or first encounter cannot be selected for verse fourteen.
    .
    Verse fourteen must include images about love AND summer, not just one or the other.
    .
    The “love” in a love verse is the interpersonal relationship between adult human beings. It is not love of art, love of country, love for a pet, etc.
    .
    Renku has specified locations for certain topics. There are designated moon verses and blossom verses. These images should not occur in our current verse.
    .
    I am providing this information to help those who hope to offer a verse that can actually be used as our fourteenth. But I do not offer it in order to discourage you from having fun and sharing verses that, for one reason or another, cannot be selected. In fact, I’ve very much enjoyed some of these verses and I consider them an important part of the “party” ethos of renku. Keep them coming!

  23. my love has fed more goats
    than slot machines
    *
    husbands don’t even feel
    the leash at the beach
    *
    puppets never even
    notice the strings
    *
    most handcuffs and collars
    can’t be seen

  24. More fun .. 😉 ..
    **
    his ‘n’ her bubble butts
    in string bikinis
    **
    Rapunzel, Rapunzel
    let down your hair!

    1. the crouching tiger
      by the summer river

      ***

      the crouching tiger
      by the waterfall

      Michelle Beyers

  25. Verse 1:

    my smoldering lust
    was so much fakery

    Verse 2:

    stoically missionary
    on hot sand

    Verse 3:

    sea bathing
    to remove all traces

    Verse 4:

    tied to each other
    in the afterglow

    I think because we are reading the individual verses in context, as part of a longer work, with all the intricate links and shifts, there should be no issue in accepting verses as love verses (or summer verses) that could possibly be interpreted differently out of this context. We are expecting love between adults so I read all the offerings as such.

  26. So, this is happening again.
    .
    I would like this site to function as a sampler of the diverse approaches of various renku leaders. But what has happened is that some of us, who have had the responsibility at one point in the session, have continued to function as if we were still leading – giving advice, praise, and criticism, answering questions of newcomers, and carrying on conversations that are essentially personal.
    .
    Part of leading a renku session involves making decisions about what portion of training needs to take place at what time, and what can be overlooked in a given moment. But when a number of people begin to make these decisions independently, they actually interfere with the ability of a session leader to show us that leader’s approach. There is no single right way to lead a renku session and arguing over our differences actually prevents us from seeing how different approaches can be effective.
    .
    At the moment, Laurie Greer and I are the active leaders. Please leave it to the two of us to decide what needs to be said about our progress on verse fourteen. Allow us to answer any questions that are posed by newcomers, even if those questions are directed to you because you have presented yourself as a leader. And, if you wish to engage in an intense back and forth with other participants please do that OFF of this site. This has been a problem for several sessions now. The last thing I want to do is to start blocking anybody but I can and will do that if this continues. And, on the theory that it takes two to make a fight, I won’t decide who is “right.” I will just block everyone who is participating. I will not be issuing a second warning about this.
    .
    Those of you who have been arguing with each other, please take several deep breaths and vow in the future to take what you like here and leave the rest, without comment.

    1. thank you john for making your position clear. i will not do anything that you stated would interfere out of respect for the current leaders….now that i have been informed precisely what the protocol is. thank you again for making me aware.

    2. Good to see this nipped in the bud, and hope, now, there’ll be no more pins stuck into other peoples work which spoils the flow of the session.
      .
      One deep breath and a vow,

  27. Thank you Marion for considering my verse and congrats to Laurie for a fun love verse. (I always enjoy your prolific offerings Laurie.) Clysta

    1. Thank you,Clysta! So far I’m not feeling quite as prolific; I’d rather hold off with comments and let the group have its various says. I really do not feel like a leader–just trying to be a good reader.

  28. Congrats to Laurie! Your use of “Kama Sutra” got me looking for names of the positions, to see if anything might be inspiring. I actually found a Kama Sutra position with a summer kigo in its name (my first offering)!
    ***

    splitting the bamboo
    beneath a silk tree
    ***

    too tangled up
    to slap a mosquito
    ***

    caught in flagrante
    by admirers of wisteria
    ***

    Also, much thanks to Marion for finding my silly verse worthy of the “short list”!

    1. dana,
      .
      thank you for your fun research and making
      your verses stand-out with excitement and joy.

      1. Wendy, thanks for the compliments! I’m so much enjoying my part in this renku composition I’ve unearthed my old text books on Japanese lit, read some great famous renga and been both tickled and inspired by the parallels I see among those classic works and our fresh one.–Love, light and peace to you, to everyone in our circle (and outside it too!) ❤❤❤❤

    2. You’re welcome, Dana, it was the time for silliness, humour and fun—and yours added a touch of nostalgia. 🙂

  29. the myths are blown,
    and so is my mercy
    moon over the marshlands

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/27/20

  30. Wendy, lets not forget the ‘fun’ element with all the verses presented. No doubt many of us have seen the same as you, so what.
    You are no expert on this format, so let us just enjoy the moment and don’t get bogged down with rules, as you said yourself, it stifles the creativity.

    1. so, sorry if the reading of my comments has caused you to feel stifled…in your creativity.
      thank you for expressing your opinions, carol.
      .
      as for myself…..i have a great deal of fun writing renku while learning….how to improve my communication skills.
      .
      these comments were meant for anyone who can and wishes to find any value in them…and can use them to improve their abilities.
      .

          1. You’re quite right, Carol. This spot on the internet is like a plush thriving wildlife refuge for creative poets to breathe life into, and in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, where people ate facing loss of jobs, life, we don’t need a grim reaper wannabe trying to slash and redline every poet’s creative blooming verse.

      1. I agree with Michelle, you certainly do not stifle my creativity, its just a shame you have to post such negative thoughts on other peoples verses. Have you ever considered the effect your negative comments may have, we all have good days and bad, more so now than ever before.
        .
        Hope you had a good thanksgiving day, maybe a few more herbs in the soup would have helped your mood.
        .
        Yes, we’re all learning, and you have much to learn when it comes to communication skills – at all times.

      2. I’m certainly one who would appreciate it if you did make an effort to improve your communication skills, Wendy, but I recommend that you put some effort to improving your reading skills as well.
        .
        I don’t presume to know whether your comment:
        .
        “so, sorry if the reading of my comments has caused you to feel stifled…in your creativity.
        thank you for expressing your opinions, carol. ” (Wendy C. Bialek)
        .
        arises from sarcasm or from a genuine inability to read English at an average level. Perhaps English isn’t your first language and you’ve had not had a competent teacher.
        .
        I know that I’m not pleased if someone thanks me for expressing my opinions. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Unless it’s coming from someone just beginning to learn the English language it comes across as a rude and hostile dismissal.
        .
        When the venue is an online forum, both reading skills and communication skills are needed. Using standard punctuation when posting on an online forum (instead of your habitual overuse of the ellipses) might make reading your posts easier for many participants, and perhaps make your points clearer, less ambiguous.
        .
        A helpful tip, I hope.

  31. here are five offers that dan campbell has posted for our last love verse to occur in summer:

    *****please note…..i am only focusing my comments on the “love” not on the “summer” part.
    .
    i wish to use this as an example to provide some tips about what may constitute a love verse by showing also what doesn’t.
    (based upon john’ s definition)
    .

    1…singing Ave Maria
    together on the front porch….d. c.
    *
    2…serenade under
    her open window…d. c.

    3…her songs still
    echo in the hayloft…..d. c.
    *
    4…she gives me
    the biggest mango…..d. c.
    *
    5… her blue bikini
    on the clothesline…..d. c.

    as i interpret it…..only #2. in my mind…comes close to a “love” verse.

    2…serenade under
    her open window…d. c.

    .
    1…singing Ave Maria
    together on the front porch….d. c.
    .
    (in number one…..any two people could be singing this song together….mother and daughter, etc.)

    3…her songs still
    echo in the hayloft…..d. c.
    .
    (in number 3. it could be a past lover, missing lover, but it could also be a childhood memory of a mother singing or a deceased relative, friend, or significant other.)

    4…she gives me
    the biggest mango…..d. c.
    .
    (in number 4. it could be a lover/wife…but it could be the kind lady who knows him since he was in a baby carriage wheeled by his mother in the same produce market.)

    5…. her blue bikini
    on the clothesline…..d. c.
    .
    (this hangs a little loose….a little girl also wears bikini)

    so my points are…just because it is posted in a “love” comment box….doesn’t make it a “love” verse. we can’t use the surrounding context to help dress it up. and even if the event we are writing about…actually happened with our lover/spouse….(which i suspect it may have here…. or in our imaginations…..we need to think in advance of how the reader may find it….if there can be others substituted in the verse and the verse still holds true for other kinds of relationships….then it may not clearly be a “love” verse.

    the same reasoning i would apply to michelle’s:

    kicking and
    squealing
    over his shoulder…..m. b.

    (this could be two adults, it could be complete strangers….but it could also be a parent carrying a misbehaving child to his/her room….or a child being kidnapped)
    i might question what kind of “real” love has to do with this verse…at all?

    1. Wendy, my verse was written precisely within the context of what Marion said here:

      “And Michelle Beyer’s noisy verse reminded me of John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara in The Quiet Man, but with two body parts already, the addition of “shoulder” was one too many:

      kicking and
      squealing
      over his shoulder”

      I don’t know why you didn’t catch the John Wayne intonation.

      I agree with Carol that this kind oc sniffing for a “wrong” interpretation shuts down creativity.

    2. I think your analysis of what doesn’t constitute as a love verse is shot down by the sheer fact that the renku love verses are known by renku poets to hold a certain placement, namely in paired verses, in the renku itself. Any reasonable renku reader knows the context simply because seasoned renku poets know the verse 13 is a love verse. Thus, all your interpretations of mine amd Dan’s verses don’t hold water.

      1. though, i see it differently than you…, i thank you for expressing your opinions, michelle.

        1. I take offence that you, suposedly an experienced renku writer, would paste such an offensive interpretation of my verse online..a kidnapping?!!!!! dear God.

          1. I take offence that you, suposedly an experienced renku writer, would paste such an offensive interpretation of my verse online..a kidnapping?!!!!! dear God.

    3. “i wish to use this as an example to provide some tips about what may constitute a love verse by showing also what doesn’t.
      (based upon john’ s definition)” – Wendy C. Bialek
      .
      Wendy, the usual (and commonsense) thing to do when referring to someone’s definition, upon which you intend to base your comments, is to quote that definition and attribute it correctly. I note that you’ve neglected to do either, which makes things harder for your readers.
      .
      (The first thing I actually noted when reading your post, Wendy, was how you seem to have become the very “backseat sabaki” (only more so!) that you accused me of being for pointing out ( I thought helpfully) the fact of a 2nd kigo within one of your verse offers in the previous renku you participated in: Rendezvous
      .
      My effort wasn’t happily received, to say the least. It’s all there, on record, this “clever” verse along with some nasty posts:
      .
      Wendy C. Bialek says – June 8, 2020 at 1:25 am
      .
      sakura sunrise
      the backseat sabaki
      is a buzzkill

      *
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw-NDIoCDsA
      .
      https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/2020/06/04/the-renku-sessions-rendezvous-week-16/
      .
      “What goes around comes around” , the old adage goes. It certainly seems to have caught up and come around to you, now, Wendy. (the vocabulary was new to me at the time)
      Either everyone may give “tips” or express honest and helpful opinions or no-one can, apart from sabaki. Nobody has selected you as “class prefect”.
      .
      I’m not going to comment on Dan’s verses, but Michelle is right: the new verse is to be read in context of its maeku , which “sets the stage” (so to speak). The new verse must link to:
      .
      westernizing
      the Kama Sutra
      with rope tricks (Laurie Greer)
      ,

      There is no “surrounding context” because the new verse hasn’t yet been chosen. The new verse must link to the previous ( in this case, Laurie’s verse) and must avoid anything to do with the uchikoski; for instance: voice, cowboys or favouritism.
      .
      Wendy declares: “only #2. in my mind…comes close to a “love” verse.”
      .
      For what it’s worth, to me #2 (serenade under window) would seem out of place following “Karma Sutra & rope tricks” (Surely a serenade is more likely to come before bondage activities, not after?) and of Dan’s verses the “bikini” verse (no. 5) immediately strikes me as having potential for this spot:
      .
      “5… her blue bikini
      on the clothesline…..d. c. (Dan Campbell)

      .
      One possibility is to add a verb:
      .
      westernizing
      the Kama Sutra
      with rope tricks (Laurie Greer: from cowboys and lassos to different kinds of rope tricks) a
      ,
      her blue bikini
      tied to the clothesline (Dan Campbell)
      .
      The “rope tricks” that I sense in Laurie’s maeku are sexual bondage “tricks”. The bikini on the clothesline links to “rope tricks” via “tied” and for me, a bikini on a clothesline indicates summer. Yes, I’ve added the verb “tied” by way of demonstration of the possibility. The usual pegs don’t link to bondage as easily, imo ( all in my imagination, I should make clear. 🙂 )
      .
      “So my points are…just because it is posted in a “love” comment box….doesn’t make it a “love” verse. . . . ” – Wendy C. Bialek
      .
      The first part of Wendy’s sentence is fine, and I’m sure it’s no news to anyone here: one can’t have just any old verse and call it a love verse) The 2nd part of her sentence is (and I’m putting this as politely as I can) simply misleading : ” we can’t use the surrounding context to help dress it up. (Wendy C. Bialek)
      .
      Quite what Wendy means by “dress it up” I’m not certain ( but I’m guessing perhaps along the lines of “mutton dressed up as lamb”: something pretending to be what it’s not.) It seems somewhat insulting to me to assume that anyone would want or need “surrounding context”. . . whatever that might be. . . in order to “help dress it up”. I believe that people here are sincere in their verse offers and not deliberately trying to make something look better than it is .
      .
      But there is no “surrounding context”. There is the maeku to link to and the uchikoshi (+ hokku) to avoid but we do interpret a new verse in context of its maeku, which goes before (but obviously doesn’t surround) We’re supposed to read a new verse in context of its maeku. It must link.
      .
      Michelle, I’m not sure where you got the impression that Wendy is an experienced renku writer ). I certainly haven’t had that impression . As far as THF goes, I believe ‘Tawny Jacket’ was the first renku Wendy participated in. ‘Rendezvous’ was her 2nd. (She may, of course, have participated in renku elsewhere, but I’ve not seen her name attached to any published renku apart from those two THF renku I’ve mentioned.) I believe this current renku is the 3rd that Wendy has been involved in, not counting the renku Wendy offered to lead but which didn’t result with a hokku/ first verse even.
      .

  32. the sensuous folds
    of a wild rose

    ***

    not only the sand
    that scorches

    ***

    she loses herself
    in billowing cloud

    ***

    a wild rose
    dominates

    ***

    his passion caught
    in a mosquito net

  33. 1)cotton sari enrobes her
    with cheers of love
    ***

    2) her love verse
    blowing in breeze of rose buds
    ***
    3) tale of romance
    fritters in windy balcony
    ***
    4) her gift of mangoes
    when love at first sight

  34. distant thunder coming
    from the master suite
    ******************
    the rattan recliner
    left a lasting impression
    ******************
    fireworks confined
    to the four poster bed

  35. her songs still
    echo in the hayloft
    *
    she gives me
    the biggest mango
    *
    her blue bikini
    on the clothesline

  36. Congratulations, Laurie. I liked both this one (‘Kama Sutra’ rope trick’) and your ‘back in the saddle’, too. . . both of them amusing as well as edgy.
    .
    Nice selections overall, Marion.

  37. Congratulations, Laurie. And a great selection for commentary, Marion. I’m looking forward to the summer loving!

  38. thanks to Marion for insightful comments.
    congrats to Laurie for the well-deserving verse.
    Happy Thanksgiving to American neighbours south of the border and north west, and in the Pacific, too ☺
    be well and stay well!

  39. the inbreath and outbreath
    and the pulse of the ocean

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/26/20

    ***

    inbreath and outbreath reaching
    the sweet pulse of the ocean

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/26/20

    ***

    inbreath and outbreath reaching
    the sweet pulse of the galaxies

    Michelle Beyers
    Copyright © 11/26/20

    ***

  40. have just placed a huge pot of organic vegetable soup on the stove, with marvelous fresh herbs. the scent is carried from room to room and warms this morning’s crisp air. wish i could offer a bowl to everyone on earth…happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate today…..

    thank you john s. for your continued guidance in the sessions.
    nice job, marion! creative pick!
    .
    congrats! to laurie for her outstanding verse. she has placed a creative twist to a vision using very few words…that i find enjoyable, and shows her enormous talent in writing and renku.
    looking forward to her comments and picks for verse #14.

  41. Happy Gratitude and Thanksgiving Day All
    ************************************
    his whole new spin on
    breaking and entering
    ********************
    a bulging tattoo that
    features the bad lands
    ** *******************
    disappearing in
    her abyss of love
    *****************
    a slight of hand
    under the table

      1. john s.
        >
        talking about “love” and “remembering”…..was it my imagination….or did you actually post under someone’s verse…..during this renku session…..(a little after, my love verse was added), that you noted to someone….you wanted to save “body parts” for the second set of love verses that would follow later……??????? i can’t seem to find your post…..since it has not returned to archive…..and appears to be missing now…..

  42. Thank you, Marion for your comments. It was a fun renku week, and congratulations to Laurie! Happy Thanksgiving everyone in the USA. gobble gobble😍

    1. I forgot my comma. oh well “i are an english master”😍 Have a happy day wherever you are whether it’s Yugaslavia, China, England, Australia, Thailand, the Phillipenes, Russia, Germany…et al😎

        1. how did I forget England..I have so many loves in England..Leed’s Castle, Canterbury, Tintern Abbey..the list goes on in the lake district at lake windermere and beyond where I had the pleasure of walking where Wordsworth and Shelley travelled😍

          1. Glad you had a pleasant and enjoyable time while visiting places in the UK, Michelle.
            .
            Tintern Abby is quite imposing even though it is a ruin, its quite impressive even more so when the mist is low and drifting. When we went to the Lake district it was more of a bus mans holiday, we stayed on a farm, beautiful place, but all the owners wanted to do was show us their many and varied sheep, but the scenery, wow, and a brill pub in the middle of nowhere, my kind of pub.

          2. thank you, Carol. mine was with a church group so we went to every castle and cathedral with a raucous vicar (according to the nice English tour guides, who snuck me out one night to go to stratford-on-avon after having hot toddies in a castle’s pub)😍

  43. Thank you, Marion! Thrilled to have a verse following your own fine contribution. As this is only my third renku, I somewhat nervously accept the challenge of picking verse #14. This group has set the bar high but I will try to follow the wonderful examples. Thanks for entrusting me with this! My best to you all.

      1. And enjoy the selection process. John is there in the background like as a safety net, so just ask if you are in any doubt.

  44. Thank you Marion for your comments on the selections and congratulations Laurie. Happy Thanksgiving to the USA participants!

  45. Yahoo! well done, Laurie, and a marvellous choice, Marion.
    Well done also to all who had their verses placed for comment.

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