Renku Sessions

The Renku Sessions: 12 Tones – Week 1

renku_300

Welcome to THF’s Renku Sessions. I’m Lorin Ford, of Melbourne (Australia), where recently Knight’s Choice, ridden by Irish-Australian singer and jockey, Robbie Dolan, unexpectedly won this year’s Melbourne Cup by a nose. (Yay!!!)

John Stevenson has invited me to play the sabaki role for this renku. It will be a Jûnicho (twelve tone) renku, consisting of twelve verses. We open with the hokku, a 3-line verse which will be set in the current Northern Hemisphere season, late Autumn. The hokku is the only verse in the renku that has (like a haiku) a cut.

As a guide that might help us all to be on the same page as far as seasonal references are concerned, we can use the easily accessible ‘The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words’ as our kiyose: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html#AUTUMN

The references listed under “all autumn” and “late autumn” will be taken as valid (until the end of Autumn/ Fall).

 

I look forward to reading all of your candidate hokku verses. (Avoid references to politics in the hokku or wakiku, please. ) The submission deadline will be Sunday, midnight eastern US time.

 

 

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct

John Stevenson

Comments (264)

  1. What has happened to Clysta’s post? It was at the top of the thread when I looked las and I can’t find it now..
    Clysta, while I don’t know what’s happened, I’m concerned that I’ve somehow deleted it (accidentally). The phone did ring and a loquacious friend kept me listening for quite some time.

    Clysta, if you can read this, please put your verse back, post it again.
    If anyone is in contact with Clysta by email or otherwise, would you please inform her, and ask her to post the same verse again?

    I apologise for this. The cause is probably something I accidentally did.

    1. I think it is this:

      musical chairs –
      a handful
      of hot chestnuts. –Keith Evetts
      *
      a maybe-wicked witch flies
      her broomstick for Halloween

      1. Thanks, Pamela. As it turned out, I was looking in the wrong week (this week week 1, without realizing,.. (Duh!) After a while, I found the verse I was looking for where it should’ve been, week 2.
        All’s well.

  5. Welcome Lorin – such a pleasure to have you sabaki this junicho!
    .
    .
    reds, oranges, yellows
    falling
    for the moon
    .
    au naturel
    the moon on the tip
    of everyone’s tongue
    .
    guilty pleasures
    the moon
    peeks through the curtains
    .
    coming and going
    a spider
    reeling in moonshine
    .
    home again
    dwelling
    on the moon
    .
    .

  6. maple leaves–
    dancing till we drop
    in our fiery red slippers
    *
    maple leaves
    pirouetting till we drop
    in patent red slippers
    *

  7. fleeting autumn–
    colors on some ridges
    streaked with snow

    lightning crackles
    across the dark sky–
    the howls of wolves

    fog in the valley–
    in my tent I listen
    to water flow

  8. chrysanthemum
    a heartening sip
    of deep burgundy
    *
    first garden
    welcoming the gift of a
    chrysanthemum debutante
    *
    chrysanthemum catalog
    new words
    for old colors
    *
    1

  9. song of the stream
    salmon leaping
    up the rapids

    homecoming
    salmon gather
    below the rapids

    bear country
    the fin of a salmon
    in the shallows

    riverbank tales
    the fisherman’s arms
    longer than the scarecrow’s

  10. old barn —
    a mouse leaves its scent
    in the new rice

    mackerel clouds—
    the last of the nettles
    hold their ground

    harvest moon
    cow dung turns to stone
    on the gravel road

  11. the scarecrow
    infantry stand guard–
    all quiet on the front

    pigeons gobble-up
    spilled corn–
    the scarecrow helpless

    scarecrow commentary–
    the funny thing about me
    is your clothes

    for dinner
    I eat crows–
    the cross-armed genius

  12. the persistent chirp
    of forest crickets at dusk–
    ladies listen up

    picking the last grapes
    before pigeage begins–
    wine tasting fest

    feral kittens
    hidden in the pampas grass–
    hiking foothills

    autumn wind
    spreads the wildfire–
    a burned-out school

    in morning cold
    the hiker brews coffee–
    a stone fire ring

        1. I am, lol, Wendy! An interesting read… I had no idea, there was such a grape! I will look for some:)

      1. thank you, Pamela…

        please, don’t give up on “a taste of hope”
        it’s easy to get rid of the pivot you put in.
        what may sound like a rejection….may be
        an invitation to success in disguise.

  14. eyes stagger
    from tree to tree—
    drunk on autumn color

    my eyes lift
    from pillow to window—
    mackerel clouds

    threading its way
    through yellows and reds—
    autumn wind

    autumn lamplight
    from a cottage window—
    soon, her warm soup

    2. second that!
      rob….’drunk on autumn color’
      exactly what i feel….i can no longer pass
      by the bay windows to the backyard…
      i loose all track of time, and forget
      what sent me to the room, in the first place!!!

      1. wendy i’m drunk with delight
        you swooned at my verse and
        delight in those gorgeous hues
        of autumn!

  15. already longing
    for rebirth—
    tattered bashoo

    withered tips
    white on green blades—
    so final

    fallen ears of rice
    no longer listen—
    birds have flown

  16. Hi Lorin, my suggestions are as follows:

    haystacks
    mother still can’t find
    her knitting needle

    autumn contemplation
    should I stay
    or should I go

    in and out
    of mackerel clouds
    war planes

  17. brocken specter
    the glow of mountain
    ghosts

    Seen this phenomena on ‘county file’ this morning, an earie and beautiful sight.

        1. I’m no stranger to mist and fog, but I’d never seen anything like this. Glad you liked apparition.

          1. Well, Carol. there’s Ezra Pound’s “apparition/ of these faces in the crowd/ petals……”, written whiole he was secretary to Yeats. Perhaps the beginning of English Language haiku ?

          2. . . . on a wet black bough.
            You could be right, Lorin.
            Ezra Pound’s name popped up in a book I’m reading ‘the reminiscences of Nina Hamnett, far more interesting and engaging than her paintings.
            He met the sculptor, Henri Gaudier Brzeska. They knew each other well. Ezra asked Henri to sculpt him. He wanted to make him look like a sexual organ. A magnificent piece of work, it is said. It was offered to and refused by many museums. It ended up in a front garden in Kensington surrounded by geraniums.
            Is it still there? I don’t know.

          3. Ezra Pound was also W.B. Yeats’s secretary for a while, and they both took an interest in (Japanese) Noh plays.

  18. scarecrow confession
    I wonder if other scarecrows
    are as lonely as me

    scarecrow confession
    only birds know
    that a scarecrow never sleeps

    scarecrow confession
    old scarecrows never die
    they simply fade away

  19. scarecrow standup
    my award says most
    outstanding in my field

    scarecrow standup
    my girlfriend Hanna
    is a bale of hay

    scarecrow standup
    the farmer’s daughter
    can’t stop staring at me

    1. I can’t wait to read your scarecrow anthology. My biggest chuckling this round was meeting Hanna!

    2. “scarecrow standup
      my girlfriend Hanna
      is a bale of hay ” – Dan

      Both sad and hilarious, Dan. You’re very talented and I believe you could write many solo, linked haikai poems.
      (at this stage of our Junicho renku, though, we’re in the traditional, formal part of the poem)

  20. the long night
    restless, restless
    without dreams

    night chill
    a toenail clipping
    not thrown away

    next full moon
    before the light fades
    longing for more

    autumn rain
    too much too late
    for dead grass

    flower garden
    something like mom’s
    if we had one

  22. the persistent chirp
    of forest crickets at dusk–
    ladies listen up

    picking the last grapes
    before pigeage begins–
    wine tasting fest

    the shrike returns
    to eat its barbed wire meal–
    dinning out in style

    rice sparrows
    fill their crops at the field edge–
    leftovers

    salmon smoked
    on a cedar wood fire–
    sea shore romance

    1. Carol, this is a lovely verse and made me smile. Snipes are known to visit our area of Northern California around this time of year… so cute with their little round body and the long bill.

  25. fairy ring
    an imaginary friend
    leads the dance
    *
    fairy circle
    spinning
    with the stars
    *
    fairy circle…
    born knowing
    how to dance
    *

  26. autumn fog…
    starting out
    with next to nothing
    *
    autumn fog–
    starting our story
    from next to nothing
    *
    autumn leaves—
    singing Jack and Jill
    at the top of our lungs
    *

  27. Thanks for taking up the challenge, Lorin.
    You’ve got some great offers to choose from already.

    the river
    winding through water-weed
    a dragonfly
    *
    autumn evening
    the deer’s hoof-prints
    filled with rain

  29. Japanese ivy—
    the neighbours’ red
    magically our red
    ******************************
    for over ten years
    i have enjoyed and grown fond of
    my neighbours’ Japanese ivy.
    how it covers 3/4ths of
    of the stucco side-walls of their
    house. the delicate leaves gentle
    quiver, the shadows they cast, but mostly
    the red they become in autumn.
    just recently, like magic, they began
    to appear in our backyard garden. most likely
    planted by the wind. such liveliness and joy…their colour
    adds to our lives, while most of the flowers have faded.
    i must admit…i’ve been taken by John Stevenson’s,
    ‘my red’….hope you don’t mind.

  30. reverend scarecrow
    stand watch with your frightened flock–
    the righteous perish

    after each long night
    a shorter day follows–
    tilting Earth changes all

    mushrooms
    under tall oak trees–
    gourmet gathering

  31. bushel baskets
    on the root cellar steps
    -best honey crisp

    *

    i take best-in-show
    after much ado…
    scarecrow contest

    this too, is a true story!

    *
    the swirl of leaves
    that blows about like words
    -also binds us

    *
    promise to mend
    met at the sweater’s elbow—
    close of autumn

    3. i would like this submission to be withdrawn.

      promise to mend
      met at the sweater’s elbow—
      close of autumn

  33. scarecrow sermon
    when the snow falls
    I wear it like a crown

    scarecrow sermon
    looking up I see geese
    writing psalms in the sky

    scarecrow sermon
    under a full moon
    cornfields become cathedrals

    scarecrow sermon
    everyone envies drifting clouds
    but I find holiness in standing still

      2. Interesting, Richard. I’m glad you included a url.
        (The flower in ‘The Flower Sermon’ would’ve been a waterlily or lotus)
        I do understand your kigo is the scarecrow.

    2. Dan,
      I really enjoy all your scarecrow haiku, but especially your Hanna, the straw bale girlfriend one. Love is in the eye of the beholder, and Hanna could be the scarecrow prince’s Cinderella. I know it’s too early in the renku, but it (and the others) are keepers. Maybe a scarecrow chapbook in the making? Nan

  34. persimmon tree
    stark against the sky–
    children play tag

    storing pears
    in the root celler–
    olly-olly oxen free

    cries of katydids
    echo in the dark–
    the long road home

    chestnuts roast
    on the charcoal fire–
    an afternoon tryst

    1. “close of autumn” (Nancy)

      Not yet, Nancy. That’d be jumping the gun. The next verse (the wakiku, a two-liner) needs to be in the same season as the hokku but not in an earlier part of the season than the hokku. So if the chosen hokku is in late autumn, your “close of autumn” phrase in a two-line verse might fit the bill, but I haven’t selected a hokku yet, so there’s no way of knowing.

    2. i love these…..most of all your…. whoosh of wings, one Nancy!
      close of autumn….is following the directions for late autumn kigo we were given. yes, i agree with lorin’s warning that late autumn kigo has consequences….and presents constrictions….but nevertheless, isn’t it within her own written guidelines?
      here’s rootin’ for ya!

      1. Thanks, Wendy, for your support. For relatively small birds, sparrows can make a lot of noise when they fly, especially in a group. Maybe I should have chosen

        autumn’s voice…
        a whoosh
        of wings

      2. “… but nevertheless, isn’t it within her own written guidelines?” – Wendy C. Bialek

        No, as far as I can tell, “it” isn’t within my own written guidelines. (Quite what you mean by “it” isn’t clear to me.)

        a whoosh
        of wings
        close of autumn – Nancy

        This is a perfectly lovely hokku, in itself. However, closed is closed. There can be no closure of autumn before we have a wakiku in place. A renku opens, progresses and concludes.

        We can’t have “close of autumn” in the hokku because the hokku is to be followed by a wakiku which will be in the same season as the hokku. Closed is closed. We don’t have wakiku travelling back in time.

        I suggest that you go and root elsewhere, Wendy.

      3. qualifing here….
        nancy…love your piece as is, unconditionally…..i was not suggesting any rewrite! (i’m just participating in lively, respectful conversation here, like Keith, and you, etc. and writing renku verses according to the guidelines set forth, as best as i read them.

        BTW: in my psych. studies….and rather zen-flavoured influence, i was taught there are no shoulds, woulds, coulds, oughts, and musts, in reality.
        here is an explaination….why!
        https://cognitivebehaviormanagement.com/practice-tools-techniques/technique-33-

          1. Really, Lorin, “I suggest you go and root, elsewhere, Wendy”? I understand that a sabaki has authority. It’s necessary to lead a renku…It doesn’t mean that they should take advantage of their position…I thought that this would be a fun and exciting way to learn more about the fascinating art of Renku…not a place where some poets are discouraged from speaking their minds.

        2. Wendy,
          I think I read the instructions the same way you did ( “…listed under ‘all autumn’ and ‘late autumn’ will be taken as valid (until the end of Autumn/Fall)” ). But I can understand why Lorin might consider that hokku illegible for the first verse. It would constrain her choices tremendously, and I never considered that it would be chosen. I just loved the kigo of close of autumn, and it seemed to work. I’m glad you felt it had merit, and perhaps, with some editing, it may be accepted in a journal some day. In the meantime, I thank you for your support. I enjoy writing verses for these renku sessions because it opens up my imagination to different possibilities than my every day experiences. Thanks to THF for these Renku Sessions and to the poets who willingly give their time to reading, selecting, and creating the renku. Volunteers are the backbone of THF. Nan

  39. the inn’s gold light
    slants through the fog
    village choir

    musical chairs
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    tall scare-crow
    the irreverence
    of pigeons

      1. aha, “mushroom magic”. (not, I trust, “magic mushrooms”, which were a big thing in the ’60s)

          1. Carol, all I know about edible mushrooms is that the best, tastiest & non-poisonous ones grow in sheep paddocks. I had to pick them for my father, who ran the pub, by bucket-fulls and they went on the pub menu in various ways. . We had an American chef, who was nice. & friendly. All a long, long time ago, now.

          2. I too pick the field mushrooms, when they appear, they’re not so often these days, but what a delightful taste, other than those I pick nothing else, just photograph my finds, love them.

            ‘all mushrooms are edible, but some, only the once. :) :)

  41. picked ripe
    from the vine…
    persimmon sunrise
    *
    autumn wind
    in the yellowwood
    flickers of a warning light
    *
    dog park—
    the autumn wind
    off leash
    *
    autumn leaves
    every dog in the park
    off leash
    *

  42. John Carley r.i.p. (Lorin’s quote) : Der Führer. a guide, a sabaki (the guy who chooses the next verse), and at times a genius way beyond our ken. He always challenged one to dig deep for a responce – a hopeful shot wouldn’t do.

    1. Yes, Dick. I see you must’ve worked with John Carley (as I also have had the privilege to do)
      He was great, and inspirational, and fun. . For me, my own continuing involvement in renku is due to both of the two Johns: JEC and John Stevenson. These two have been my renku guides, my true sabaki. One American, the other English and both true blue.

  43. behind
    the faded cherry tree
    a maple in all its glory

    In our backyard we have a cherry tree whose leaves have become a pale yellow… quite lovely… the Japanese maple tree behind our fence came alive this morning

  44. autumn deepens
    bright leaf colors
    fade to gray

    chrysanthemums
    mark his grave–
    unexpected death

    autumn sky
    the unending blue
    depth of her eyes

    desolate
    Titanic rusting
    at the ocean bottom

    red Japannese ivy
    masks the window light–
    autumn evening

    scarecrow’s boutique
    shirt shredded–
    crows on the crossarms

  45. scarecrow diary
    those silly humans
    enjoy waving to me

    scarecrow diary
    owl hoots at night
    are a symphony

    scarecrow diary
    withered stalks
    surround me

  46. i feel very privileged to be in the guiding hands of Lorin Ford!
    What a fine job you are doing!

    up and down
    root cellar steps—the linger
    of maple leaves

        2. I speak for myself and for many others, Wendy…so happy you are here with us, with your vast knowledge and love of renku….you spread joy throughout our renku adventures!

          1. our feelings are mutual, madeleine.
            thanks for sharing yours, first!

            when your not posting, you are sorely missed by us all!

          2. correction:
            when ‘you’re’ not posting

            LOLIS!!!!
            (laughing out loud in stitches)
            @ lafcadio….you’ve got some stiff competition ahead….i have the first place ribbon on spelling mistakes here!

            with regard to your yarm:
            just a squint away from yarn…..more likened to a typo!
            Or, hint, hint…. maybe you’ve invented a new winter kigo word to go with the scarf?

            before you know it
            her knitted gray scarf—
            yarm’s length

        3. thank you for all your kind and supporting words, madeleine
          we are here gathered to lift each other up, share our beautiful
          bounty and enrich in their delight. inspired by one another.

          BTW: it may have come off wrong, i am not laughing at lafcadio but hopefully, laughing with her…madeleine has witnessed so many of my misspelled words….and yet, never once scolds me for them!

          1. Awww… same when you’re not posting, Wendy… Spelling mistakes, we all make them…a source of fun! “…Gathered to lift each other up, share each other’s bounty, enrich in their delight. inspired by one another…” Looking forward to more adventures with you, Wendy and all our poets here!

          2. Madeleine and Wendy,
            Otto Correct and editcrow often show up here during Renku Sessions. They give us a moment or two of laughter among the many fine verses as we attempt to navigate the rules and constraints of the renku even when they conflict.

            How a person makes the decisions makes my head spin, and I don’t envy anyone who becomes the sabacki. Nan

        1. Well said, Nan :) Good to laugh while learning the rules. And so true… realizing we’re all very appreciative of Lorin taking on such a formidable task as this renku session… and very fortunate that we can continue exchanging verses while learning more about this wonderful art.

  49. autumn deepens
    each day shorter,
    the cold, colder

    bright moon
    a quiet hush
    on the rooftops

    autumn deepens
    bright leaf colers
    fade to gray

    chrysanthemums
    mark his grave–
    unexpected death

  52. Hi Lorin Thank you for leading this renku. It’s so hot and sunny here in Cobargo (NSW, pop. around 700) at the end of Spring that it takes imagination to remember back to Autumn!
    …
    party time
    an avenue of maples
    lights the way
    …
    night chill
    we hurry inside
    to huddle together
    …
    a hut in the forest
    shapes loom out of the fog
    and into the light
    …
    painting class
    we capture red leaves
    before they turn brown

    1. “. . . at the end of Spring that it takes imagination to remember back to Autumn!” – Pauline
      It does indeed, and what’s more, seasonal things in Southern NSW and far East Gippsland differ from things in the cities and surrounding suburbs, let alone the various seasonal things i the whole world. This is why, for a renku such as this which is open to any English speaker anywhere in the world, a kiyose such as ‘The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words’ is essential. Without it: chaos would reign.

  54. scarecrow soliloquy—-
    crows and more crows
    how long must we pretend to be enemies?

    scarecrow soliloquy—-
    In the quiet dusk,
    I wonder who watches me

    scarecrow soliloquy—-
    my straw fingers
    ache for the sun’s touch.

    scarecrow soliloquy—-
    bonfire glow
    my shadow dances more than I do

  55. Hello Lorin!
    I am excited to start our journey and already there are wonderful offerings!

    Here are my hokku offerings! I work across from a persimmon. These are my observations.

    autumn is clearing …
    a squirrel clears
    the persimmon tree

    autumn air …
    persimmons ripen
    slowly

    dappled light …
    persimmons dance
    with the wind

  57. wind in the trees
    raspy whispers replace
    the rush of sea waves

    morning fog
    on a fall day I, too,
    resist waking up

    flowering meadow
    even things left fallow
    deserve attention

    a scarecrow
    the spitting image of
    Ray Bolger

    new straw
    an old dog sniffs
    then moves on

  60. dragonfly–
    darting back and forth
    over our picnic table

    autumn colors
    speckle our mountainside–
    home, sweet home

    sand pipers
    criss cross
    wet, river sand beaches

    autumn wind
    drying clothes flap
    in crisp sunshine

  62. starburst–
    an explosion of sun
    on the autumn frost
    *
    tangled skein–
    a toddler giggles
    as the geese gaggle
    *
    gaggle of geese…
    walking her through
    her ABCS
    *

  63. Welcome Sabaki Lorin
    Here are my Hokku offerings from Dublin

    longer nights
    the crackle of kindling
    in the turf fire

    at dusk
    the shimmer of pale bellies
    as Brent Geese migrate

    1. Hello, Mary. As the late John Carley observed back in 2012, ‘sabaki’ translates to ‘ the guide’ in English and ‘ der Führer’ in German.

  65. Thanks, Lorin, for taking on the renku master role.

    night chill
    a feral cat slinks
    across the lawn

    morning cold
    a skinny cat slinks
    across the street

    silhouettes
    of children playing tag
    –autumn lamplight

    1. Nan, I love your poems on silhouettes and slinking cats.
      Morning cold resonates with me, too:)

  66. dew chill–
    our last sunflowers
    wilt to the ground

    nuts and seeds–
    squirrels bury
    bounty in the garden

    quail strut and peck–
    smoke rises from chimneys
    on our block

  68. autumn rain–
    puddles beside the brick
    path way

    red maple leaves–
    smoke drifts through
    the garden

  69. new coolness
    sweaters and sweatshirts
    line the discount store shelves

    red leaves
    Canada grows more attractive
    every day

    chestnuts
    never quite getting
    the hang of them

    2. michael,
      i hear those red leaves a callin’ too!
      hope the un-usa sometime soon becomes united again!
      but that’s for another election and later on in the renku!

      the chestnuts one is a total riot! i’m LOL so loud i think i displaced my hip!!!!

  73. Hey Lorin, great to “see” you again!

    new straw
    reinvigorating
    the old scarecrow

    morning cold
    warming our hands with
    hot cups of coffee

    desolate
    the bus stop
    at midnight

  74. outside working hours
    the leaf piles rearranged
    autumn wind

    all day
    without a word —
    falling leaves

    gale forecast
    a straggle of geese
    at the airstrip

    the beat of wings
    heading out
    autumn wind

    tarnish
    on the gatepost number
    autumn leaves

    fogbound
    an attempt
    to wipe the window

    early nightfall
    hot chestnuts served
    at Ye Olde Swan
    ((our local))

  75. the pink inside
    of a dachshund’s ears
    autumn wind

    all these geese…
    the autumn sky
    remains trackless

  76. the little girl laughed
    a leaf
    floated into her lap

    —
    the plants in my yard
    got real fertilizer
    fallen leaves

    ——

    picking leaves
    sewing them one by one
    antique hat

  77. Hello, Lorin. Thanks for leading us, once again.

    winnow wind
    golden clusters bustle
    beneath the tree

      1. Thank you, Keith, for your lovely comment.
        I was thinking along the lines, at first, about grain, but the leaves so beautiful this time of year. Using winnow in the literal sense maybe ok, here.

    2. Wouldn’t it be ‘winnowing wind’, Carol and Keith? (but I’m aware this might be one of those “divided by a common language” moments )

      1. As in the old Yorkshire Noh play.
        “Ower Ted took sick wi’ cold after the reapin’ an’ popped ‘is clogs.”
        “Aye, lad, ’tis a winnow wind as teks some, leaves the rest.”

        More seriously, I think poetic licence allows the creation of what seems to me like a good and useful addition, even a potential new seasonal expression for ELH. And there is a noun:

        The Oxford English Dictionary, full version, gives:
        winnow
        noun

        1580–
        A contrivance for winnowing grain, etc.; a winnowing-fan or the like.
        1580
        A Fan or a Winnowe.
        H. F., translation of S. Pelegromius, Synonymorum Sylua 126/2Citation details for H. F. translation of S. Pelegromius, Synonymorum Sylua
        1766
        The casting-shovel is much more expeditious than..the common winnow with sails.
        Complete Farmer at ThreshingCitation details for Complete Farmer
        1818
        Osiris has the winnow in one hand, and the hook of attraction in the other.
        R. P. Knight, Symbolic Language 1890
        [Leaves of Palmyra palm] largely employed for making pans, bags, winnows [etc.].
        Scientific American
        2.
        An act of winnowing or a motion resembling it, as the swing of a pendent mass, the sweep of wings.

        1. “As in the old Yorkshire Noh play” , indeed. :-) :-) :-) OK, a winnow is a thing. I’ve learned something.

          1. Hi Lorin, I didn’t write ‘winnowing’ although it may be ok to include gerunds in a verse, I try to avoid them, especially placed in the first line. That’s just me :)

            I came across, winnow, in a verse many years ago, it referred to the separating of chaff from grain, It would be a mammoth search to find that poem, although, I’m sure it has been used many times, but not a word commonly used today. Now rediscovered, I’ll be using it whenever I can.

            That’s one heck of a post, Keith. And is well worth the read. Thankyou for that.
            Love that opening verse :)

          2. Agree about gerunds / present participles. Especially in the very opening. But useful later on.

            The verb but not the noun winnow is used today, mainly because of the Bible (KJV) where you’ll find several references to winnowing and winnoweth. To separate the wheat from the chaff (which one could say is what our hon. sabaki has to do). I think that, including the noun, its aged history as a word gives depth and ‘resonance’. While not (yet!) a season word, it is directly associated with the aftermath of harvest time, when grain and fodder are sorted. It goes well with wind, I think, that blows chaff away without a fan. The winnow is at least as up-to-date as the fulling block, which is in the list of kigo we are using for reference. Oh, and our colleague Daipayan Nair has lately published a chapbook of Indian haiku under the title “the tilt of the winnowing fan” — so it’s pretty universal.

            Your verse doesn’t have a formal kigo in it as far as I can see, but the season is unmistakeable; and it rolls off the tongue so musically with the ‘clusters bustle’…

          3. Keith & Carol, it’s all interesting. I’m now familiar with ‘winnow’ as a thing/ noun (“Osiris has the winnow in one hand, and the hook of attraction in the other.” ) and it’s logical that it can be a verb (“Let’s water the lawn first then winnow the wheat.”)
            But I still have trouble with “winnow wind”. It comes across as two nouns to me.

          4. Keith & Carol, it’s all interesting. I’m now familiar with ‘winnow’ as a thing/ noun (“Osiris has the winnow in one hand, and the hook of attraction in the other.” ) and it’s logical that it can be a verb (“Let’s water the lawn first then winnow the wheat.”)
            But I still have trouble with “winnow wind”. It comes across as two nouns to me.

            Keats, in his ‘To Autumn’, has “winnowing wind”.

          5. Lorin, there are plenty of two nouns joined, often as noun-as-adjective + noun. Harvest moon, spider web…. cellophane wings… ice maiden, white van man. lately in Jennifer Hambrick’s “glass rain”…
            But the main problem with Carol’s lovely verse, insofar as I have a view, is that there’s no kigo from the tightly specified list. However, Carol, I do hope you give “winnow wind” a try in some form or other in subs to journals!

          6. Lorin, thanks for coming back with Keats – To Autumn, ‘winnowing’ its a word I’d underlined with pencil, among others.

            Yes, two nouns, never mind, there’s a bit more time to make another offer for your consideration.

  78. Lorin : Thanks for taking on all the work,
    & surrendering autumn to the Northern Hemisphere.

    bare fields
    dark trees line the hill
    above a sullen lake

    a low sun
    red and yellow leaves
    glimmering gold

    encroaching fog
    a last russet hangs
    in bare branches

    cloud and mist
    up here & down under
    it’s spring

  80. Looking forward to another awesome renku!

    Here are my offerings:

    deep autumn
    children gather chestnuts
    from the ends of the earth

    mackerel clouds
    gathering around the sun
    haystacks

  81. morning cold
    not giving a hoot
    she steps outside barefoot

    ~ ~ ~

    dying grass moon
    thankful
    she has a rock garden

    ~ ~

    thickening fog
    the little dog
    dashing

    2. Madeleine,
      Having just stepped outside (need I say barefoot) to retrieve the mail, ! love ‘morning cold’ especially.

  82. pawlonia leaves–
    the red brick path
    strewn with color

    morning-glories–
    pine fence rails
    glimpsed here and there

  83. rose of sharon–
    the garden walk
    ablaze with bloom

    pawlonia leaves–
    the red brick path
    strewn with color

    morning-glories–
    pine fence rails
    glimpsed here and there

  84. A bow, Lorin. Looking forward to a lively renku.

    autumn wind
    let us go then
    you and I

    sunrise
    among the windfalls
    a red stag

    a varnished schooner
    slips its mooring
    autumn wind

    changeable weather
    red leaves in the wake
    of the logging truck

    distant lightning
    a bleat or two
    in the sheep fold

  85. Hi Lorin…a pleasure to have our opening verse about Autumn. So good of you to step in.:)

    yellow leaves
    peeking in
    a little dog curled up

    looking both ways
    before turning up
    the heat

    quietly
    quiet creeps
    in

    she doesn’t mind
    telling
    more stories

    the kettle
    going
    off

  86. For some unknown reason, my greeting to you went to the top of the page instead of below your post. Ah, well.

  87. Thank you Lorin for guiding us on this journey!

    a crow perched on straw—
    laughing at the scarecrow’s grin,
    as dusk paints the sky

    a scarecrow standing all alone—-
    her empty arms stretched wide
    to catch a falling star

    a chilly morn—-
    straw fingers
    trembling in the wind

    skinny scarecrow—-
    an empty bird nest
    for a heart

  89. autumn chill
    the mistletoe hangs
    in leafless trees

    first frost
    she knits a new scarf
    with gray yarm

    1. Wouldn’t you know it, first time here and I misspell a word

      first frost
      she knits a new scarf
      with gray yarn

    2. Hi Lafcadio. That’d be “gray yarn”, I think.
      (or “grey yarn” in English. I accept both English and American English spelling. It wouldn’t do to favour one or the other. :-)

      1. Whoops! I should’ve looked down further & seen that your corrected it yourself. A h well. :-)

  90. Hi Lorin! Thrilled to see another renku starting up, thank you for taking on this demanding role.

    clear waters of autumn
    half fallen leaves
    half fallen clouds

    1. Debbie, there are two kigo in this verse. Try again with just one.
      (Also, I can read this verse in two ways: with a cut after ‘fog’ and without a cut at all, a “run-on”. For the hokku, we need a clear cut. )

  92. Excited to find out about a 12 tone renku, Lorin! This should be fun.

    a goose
    readies for rotation
    leading the vee

    mom’s home
    waking to the scent
    of pumpkin pie

    bitter moon
    taste bud rivals
    at the feast

    2. um, Marilyn . . . as much as I like horses, “chestnut” the kigo is a sort of nut that one roasts outdoors, often on old kerosene tins and the like. It grows on chestnut trees and has a warm, reddish-brown shell. A chestnut mare is a mare whose hide is the colour of a chestnut shell, as you know.

      1. Lorin,
        i believe Marilyn’s kigo phrase here for late Autumn is ‘a little cold’….not chestnut.

      2. ah, Wendy. I do recall that it was you who coined the derogatory term “backseat sabaki”, during Patricia M’s first renku here at THF, and now here you are playing the role you derided!
        A superb example of the old adage,”What goes around comes around”. :-)

        That said, I agree with you re Marilyn’s kigo. On second look I’d come to the same conclusion.

        1. Lorin, Wendy was trying to be helpful…she realizes how overwhelming it can be for a sabaki leading a renku session (and she had just complimented you on how great a job you were doing…earlier in the post. ) I would have expected you to have welcomed her gentle suggestion with a grace I have often seen you display.

    3. Marilyn,
      i want you to know, that upon, my first reading of your candidate offering, i fell in love with this one. hoping that you continue to submit and share your very worthy work here, despite, the tumble!
      we all can learn a great deal from your wisdom!
      -wendy

      1. Hi Marilyn, I also feel this way. It’s a marvelous verse… sounds so lovely when you read it outloud… perfection. I hope you will to continue to share your poetry with us. :)

  95. outside, a tang
    of tannin in the air
    inside: some cedar

    deer snort
    only a shimmer
    of leaves

  97. Hello, Lorin, how nice to see you playing the sabaki role again!
    Here are a few candidate hokku verses:
    *
    naked trees
    all sidewalks’ borders
    with gold margins
    *
    gloomy skies
    even the flock of crows
    seats silent
    *
    autumn moon
    the howl of wolves
    cuts the air
    *
    a thick fog
    the bass roar of deer
    from far and near

  98. Lorin–so exciting to have you lead this! Thank you for doing it–
    **
    chrysanthemums
    the feel of the woods
    going silent around us
    *
    autumn wind
    our story
    told by a flute
    *
    smell of persimmons…
    the breath of deer going
    deeper into the woods
    *

  100. Greetings to Lorin!

    Here are my offerings.

    stone lanterns
    he potters a deep vase
    for melting snow

    the scarecrow
    has no corn to save
    a new red scarf

    the old flute
    sings a sour song
    cutting reeds

  101. Greetings Lorin .This is my first Renku session ……

    last persimmon—
    a breeze lifts the dust
    on the empty path

    first frost settles
    across the open field—
    a lone crow calls

    leaves scatter—
    the scent of woodsmoke
    drifts from town

  103. Welcome Sabaki Lorin Ford. I look forward to your leadership.

    new coolness
    relief from the heat
    of summer

    1. Hi, John . I’m pleased you’re here. :-)
      This is a good verse but we’re needing an “all autumn” or a “late autumn” kigo. “new coolness” is, in our kiyose, “early autumn” . Have another go. :-)

  105. Thank you so much, Lorin, for being our sabaki this time around! Good choice, John!

    mighty trees
    lose their leaves
    all nests exposed

  107. Hi Lorin – this should be interesting!

    scrumping apples
    a small boy comes running
    out of me

    autumn light
    a particular silence
    between heartbeats

  108. Greetings, Lorin! It’s great having you as the sabaki. Here are a few candidate hokku verses.

    morning cold
    the old sweater
    where I left it

    autumn rain
    a shortened day
    made shorter

    cold autumn
    time to turn inward
    with a book

    migrating birds
    a few new faces
    at the feeder

Comments are closed.

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Our mission is made possible by the generosity of others. Learn how you can provide vital support to our organization.

Donate | Volunteer

Questions, comments, or concerns? We’d love to hear from you!

Home | Policies, Disclaimers, & Terms of Use | Contact

The Haiku Foundation is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization proudly operating as an inclusive remote workplace and is staffed exclusively by community volunteers.

The Haiku Foundation
P.O. Box 2461
Winchester, VA
22604-1661
USA

Back To Top