Renku Sessions

The Renku Sessions: 12 Tones – Musical Chairs, Week 8

renku_300

Welcome to THF’s Renku Sessions. I’m Lorin Ford, acting as sabaki/ guide for this renku.

***

The 7th verse: ready or not?

***

Musical Chairs – a Junicho Renku

 

musical chairs
a handful
of hot chestnuts

– Keith Evetts

the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow

– Clysta

a road sign
points in the direction
of the Monument

– John Daleiden

are we
there yet?

– Curt Linderman

winter moon
dripping from
the shelter tent

– Fatma Zohra Habis

a warm cup of tea
for the newcomer  

– Hla Yin Mon

ready
with a love potion
just in case

– Laurie Greer

 

***

This verse spot turned out to be tricky, I realise, mainly because it was to be a non-seasonal ‘love’ verse followed by a spring ‘love’ verse. I found that two of Laurie’s verses were good for the spot but this one has a sense of anticipation about it, due to the preparation of a love potion. Laurie’s verse brings a humorous drama to our renku and also, as a verse in this renku should, it prepares the way for the next ‘love’ verse, which will link to it. Deftly done, Laurie!

***

Here’s this week’s short list, as promised. There’s another by Laurie that I simply can’t leave out of the list.

in the staffroom
romance blossoms
over custard creams                        – Tracy Davidson

tasseomancy
adds a touch of the divine
to their love                                   – Laurie Greer

 

he asks her
for a little more
sugar                                                 – Richard Straw

 

she arranges
his red rose bouquet
in the bedroom vase                       – John Daleiden

 

and the verse that really touches my funny bone:

 

hid my banjo
until after
the honeymoon                                 – Dan Campbell

 

(a wise thing to do, I’d say.)

 

***

Our 8th verse will be a short (2-line) love verse set in the season of Spring.

Be sure to link your verses to Laurie’s “ready/ with a love potion. . .” verse. The renku progresses forward. Include Spring things of nature or human convention along with love but avoid blossoms or flowers for this spot. The flower/ blossom verse will come later.

A relevant quote from the late John E Carley:

“Though still retaining its adult association, love is freed from the last of the lingering renga conventions that governed its passage from joy to despair.”

***

The submission deadlines will be Sundays, midnight Eastern US time.

 

 

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct

John Stevenson

Comments (185)

  1. a pinwheel sky
    a lovers rush

    blossom surrounds us
    already in love

    dandelions blowing
    my heart back to you

    Joanna Ashwell

  2. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    butterfly kisses
    on a lingering day

    in the shimmering heat
    she says yes!

    in the shimmering heat
    he gets down on one knee

    Diana Ming Jeong

    1. ready
      with a love potion
      just in case

      – Laurie Greer

      down on one knee with ring box
      in the shimmering heat

      Diana Ming Jeong

      1. Correction

        down on one knee with a ring box
        in the shimmering heat

        Diana Ming Jeong

    2. Diana, these verses of yours (above) were posted 46 minutes after the deadline. If we allow it for one person, we’d have to allow it for all. See John Stevenson’s notices each week on the introductory page.

      1. Lorin,
        I’m sorry. It’s 10:37pm now here in Los Angeles, California, USA. Sunday January 5, 2025. Pacific Time. Ugh! I’m so dumb. I missed that it’s Eastern time. I understand that I missed the deadline. I’m sorry. No don’t make an exception for me. I wasn’t asking that and I won’t ask now.
        Thank you,
        Diana

        1. No, you’re not dumb at all. It’s difficult to remember what time it is in regions other than our own (for me as much as anyone else) But the deadline John has set is Sundays, midnight Eastern US time.
          Whatever time shows above this post of mine will not be my time ( AEST, which , right now, is Monday 6th of January, 6:19 pm.)
          Just be sure to check Eastern US time when you’re posting.

          2. “ See John Stevenson’s notices each week on the introductory page.”

            I am much better with the previous Tuesdays deadlines. I’ll keep in mind to change my calendar alerts for each iteration of fun here at The Haiku Foundation. 😊

    3. Reposting my correction to clarify it is two lines.

      down on one knee with a ring box
      in the shimmering heat

      Diana Ming Jeong

      Thank you 😊

        1. Thank you Madeleine! Unfortunately it doesn’t qualify as I submitted it after the deadline but it is a nice one and I am very happy with it. :)

  3. I’ve just now gone through the ‘spring’ references in Higginson’s ‘ THE FIVE HUNDRED
    ESSENTIAL JAPANESE SEASON WORDS again, copying the ones I find most relevant to this verse.
    It’s not the only source for seasonal references, but it’s easily available.

    Before I list the references I’ve copied & pasted, let me be clear: this is an international, English-language renku, not a Japanese renga or renku. Because this renku is open to participants around the world, not all of the listed season words will fit for every region. But some of them will.
    There’s no doubt in my mind that this is a difficult verse spot, being a two-liner verse that needs to incorporate ‘Spring’ and ‘Love’ (love between young through to old people, not love of ice-cream, dogs, speedboats etc and certainly not ‘love in the local brothel’, child molestation, overt sexual acts or the remains of such, and the like. We turn to something gentler, that the next verse (a Spring verse) might link to.
    Having only two lines this verse may be difficult for some, as it needs to be a spring love verse without blossoms or flowers, needs to link in some way to Laurie’s humorous verse (not too hard, I think) and open the way for a 3-line Spring verse. The personal verse (that the majority seem to have used so far . . . (my, our, his …) is ok, but the authorial, observational voice is fine ,too and may work better after Laurie’s verse .
    I’m hoping this small list might help those struggling for a spring reference:

    green barley (aomugi, all spring)
    spring grasses [and forbs] (haru no kusa, all spring). The Japanese kusa, usually translated as ‘grass’ or’grasses’, actually refers to a wide variety of grasses and other non-woody wild plants.
    sprouting grasses [and forbs] (shitamoe, early spring)
    butterfly (choo, all spring).
    whitebait (shirauo, early spring)
    twittering (saezuri, all spring). Of birds.
    skylark (hibari, all spring).
    frog (kawazu, all spring).
    many baby birds (momochidori, all spring). Noticed for their cheeping.
    bush warbler (uguisu, all spring).
    pheasant (kiji, all spring).
    skylark (hibari, all spring).
    spring lantern (shuntoo, all spring).
    plow (tagaeshi, all spring)
    herb gathering (tsumikusa, all spring).
    kite (tako, all spring). The toy.
    balloon (fuusen, all spring).
    pinwheel (kazaguruma, all spring).
    soap bubbles (shabondama, all spring).
    swing (buranko, all spring).
    spring melancholy (shunshuu, all spring
    melting snow (yukidoke, mid spring).
    spring wind (haru kaze, all spring)
    spring gust (haru hayate, all spring).
    spring rain (harusame, all spring)
    spring thunder (shunrai, all spring).
    heat shimmer / shimmering heat (kageroo, all spring)
    cloudy spring (shunin, all spring).
    returning cold (saekaeru, early spring).
    still cold (yokan, early spring)
    spring day (haru no hi, all spring).
    spring dawn (shungyoo, all spring)
    spring evening (haru no kure, all spring).
    spring night (haru no yo, all spring).
    warm (atataka, all spring).
    serene (uraraka, all spring).
    tranquil (nodoka, all spring).
    long day (hinaga, all spring).
    lingering day (chijitsu, all spring).

    —-

    1. Lorin, there are no verses submitted this week that have references to “… local brothel, child molestation or overt sexual acts or the remains of such…”, which you stated in your text above. I wanted to know why you would make that statement.

      1. Simply to indicate the kind of verses that wouldn’t be suitable or acceptable for the ‘love’ aspect of this verse, Madeleine.

        2. Tragically, I had just composed this entry upon realizing my mistake.

          that green barley scent slides through
          a brothel’s gaping window

          1. Somehow Dan, your post really cheered me up…I think your use of the word “tragically” might have had something to do with it. :)

        1. Kathleen, I have been wanting to say how delightful your moon verses are and that there will be plenty of opportunity to use them when our next renku starts up.

    2. Kathleen, we’ve had our moon verse for this renku, which is only 12 verses long.:

      winter moon
      dripping from
      the shelter tent – Fatma Zohra Habis)

      We’ll not be repeating ‘moon’.

      1. Thanks, Lorin,
        I used to write a lot of haiku, tanka, and renku. I actually made a movie out of a 100-link renku. I’m just out of the habit was “moon-dtruck!” Lol.

        1. Wow!
          Kathleen, “a movie out of a 100-link renku.” sounds like something I’d really like to see.
          I don’t know if you’ll read this. It’s just after 8pm Australian Eastern Standard time and sometime, overnight (overnight for me) the new verse post, the verse following:

          ready
          with a love potion
          just in case – Laurie Greer

          will be up, with comments.

          However, if you do somehow find this response post of mine to you, would you please let me know if there’s a way I might be able watch this movie of yours. I’m pretty sure that THF and many others who are generally interested in haiku, renku & the like would like to see your movie,if it’s available in any way.
          (I hope you don’t live in Los Angeles. I’ve just now watched the news about the horrific fire. )

  5. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    walking hand in hand
    under a hazy moon

    watching the same hazy moon
    though we are far apart

    practicing my mating call
    under a hazy moon

    1. No more moon verses for this renku, Dan. We have the winter moon verse. In a long renku, there could be 4 moon verses, but not in a Junicho, a 12 verse poem.

  6. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    my very first love
    stole my tricycle

    I often brush stars
    from her long black hair

    she applauds whenever
    I juggle plums

    hired an Elvis impersonator
    to renew our vows in Vegas

  7. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    they pick dandelions
    for their wine brew

    we collect fresh greens
    for our vegan supper

  9. falling for your laugh
    when the soap bubbles burst

    with our first kiss
    I forget the spring rain

    1. I was wondering if this is a little better:

      I follow his voice
      into verdant pastures

      1. I’ve been working on this verse and wanted to try this kigo.

        I search for his voice
        in the spring mountains

        1. Madeleine, Beautiful verse! Wonderful to read the evolution and I love the final one the most!

          1. Thank you Pamela…it means so much.

            I love your beautiful poems and how they have excelled in Lorin’s workshop:

            “we make smooth jazz
            in the shining wind”

            Pamela Garry

            “the shining wind
            quickens our smooth jazz”

            Pamela Garry

            Your second one is my favorite! :)

          1. No worries, Lorin, lol. I am grateful for Orense’s wealth of information on the intricacies of renku. It was a particularly fascinating read today:).

          3. Lorin, I spent yesterday afternoon researching kigo and I thought it might be helpful for you to know that “spring mountains” is a legitimate kigo for North Americans. Spring mountains first appears in “the Yuki Teikei Haiku Season Word List ”, which was translated into English from Japanese by Kiyoko Tokutomi. The list was published in the 1977 to 1978 Haiku Journal and It states among other things that it is predominantly for its North American members.
            .
            Here is the link if you would like to take a look:

            https://yths.org/season-word-list/

            (Spring Mountains is also of course in “the 500 Essential Japanese Season Words” which you mentioned in your response to me.)

            Most mountain ranges in the U.S. experience spring which is glorious in the Sierra Nevadas, beginning in the months of April and or May. (The Sierra Nevadas are not too long a drive from where my family and I live.) Many U.S. mountain ranges also experience the seasons of summer, autumn and winter.

            I learned a lot from reading Orense’s explanation of kigo…But, I don’t understand why you would use his words to state your case against the use of “spring mountains” in a renku verse. Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t believe he even used any of these words: “..seasonal words are not kigo…”, nor do I believe that Orense stated that kigo relates only to Japanese saijik. Lorin, would you please shed light on this?

        3. madeleine,
          concerning kigo….
          the point of kigo is to have a word or phrase that represents
          a common image to all….a short cut bridge that will bring everyone to the same place.
          if there is an exception….like more than one place that this kigo represents then this kigo word or phrase is not doing its function and must be ‘knocked off of the kigo list’.
          the goal for ENGLISH LANGUAGE (EL) RENKU is to satisfy everyone in a global group. this may mean that we may need to sacrifice items that have been used on kigo lists in order to get down to a common denominator, universal list….that we all can relate to.
          i think of it like this:
          on my shopping list for Halloween Treats, i remove peanuts.
          because for those who have allergies to peanuts, they are not considered a treat and i can’t predict with any accuracy who will be knocking at my door.
          orense has engaged in rengay…the rules and goals governing rengay competitions may be quite different.
          but here at THF i believe reforms are being made to get everyone on the same page.
          stay safe!

          1. Thank you Wendy for taking the time to explain. It really makes sense that kigo images and phrases are a way for us all to come together, in a kind of global mindset…to see what it’s like to walk in another’s shoes. I do appreciate your Halloween metaphor and always your creative ways that help to visualize:)

          2. “the goal for ENGLISH LANGUAGE (EL) RENKU is to satisfy everyone in a global group. this may mean that we may need to sacrifice items that have been used on kigo lists in order to get down to a common denominator, universal list….that we all can relate to.” – Wendy

            Yes, Wendy, I absolutely agree. A very important point. Of course it’s easier for groups in one section of the world to have their own kiyose and write from that, but here we have the challenge of kigo & seasonal reference that are acceptable the world around.

            An important issue. This is why we need a kiyose such as Higginsons’s ‘500 Essentail Season Words’ , to help us keep on the same page,
            None of these lists are perfect, though they are all helpful and useful,.

  11. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case –——– Laurie Greer

    our sweat mingles
    running for the kite string

    running for the kite string
    our sweat mingles

  12. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    evening sky
    the colors I add to his intentions

    Fatma Zohra Habis

  13. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    her cheeks
    smell of cold cream

  14. Congratulations Laurie!!!

    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    choosing a fresh strawberry cake
    for our diamond anniversary

    Diana Ming Jeong

    1. After reading the comments below by Lorin, I offer an edit…

      choosing a fresh strawberry cake
      for our first anniversary

      Diana Ming Jeong

      1. Diana, earlier, I was about to suggest just “fresh strawberries”, i.e.

        fresh strawberries
        for our first anniversary

        which to me would’ve be a good verse and sufficient, but I recalled that strawberries in my region (and yard) don’t really ripen in Spring, but more toward late spring and early summer, so I googled around a bit and found this on Gabi Greeve’s website:
        https://worldkigodatabase.blogspot.com/2006/07/strawberries.html

        “early summer”, as Gabi has it, seems more like the right season for strawberries, to me. That’s when they become available in the shops (where I am) and also when the small, ‘wild’ strawberries ripen in my back yard.
        Of course, in Singapore and similar places, all sorts of fruits and flowers are raised indoors, with electronic heat control to force earlier fruit these days, so the actual season becomes somewhat vague.

        https://worldkigodatabase.blogspot.com/2006/07/strawberries.html

        1. Hi Lorin,

          I appreciate your thoroughness!

          But Gabi also said “Later they were grown in large hothouses, along many costal areas in Japan. Now the strawberry season starts before the New Year, since they are used as a decoration for the whipped cream Christmas Cake. They are also used as Birthdy Cake decorations. I tried to grow them in the garden, but the strong weeds are no match for these delicate plants, you need a hothouse indeed.
          Gabi Greve”

          I can see how this is vague!
          Close! But no cigar for me! Back to the drawing board, next time, not for this one, as you know, it’s already past the deadline!

          I didn’t research deep enough and only went by this….
          https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/photos/spring-fruit-desserts

          1. ah, the New Year, Diana, :-) The first day of January: what season would that be?

            It depends on where we are. For John Stevenson and Keith Evetts (and no doubt for Wendy et al. ) January is a winter month. For me, it is the midsummer month.

            (Global climate change could change everything, of course.)

            Gabi has been living in Japan for a long time, now. I’m not sure where you are, Diana, but I’m pretty sure you could successfully grow strawberries in boxes (easier than making raised beds to grow them in.)

  16. your wild golden hair
    a spring sunrise

    the swallows arrive
    with you

    our shy kiss under
    the budding nutmeg

    kigo: tree buds (ko no me, mid spring).

    Pharmacogn Rev. 2013 Jan-Jun;7(13):1–10.
    Exploring scientifically proven herbal aphrodisiacs
    Kotta, Ansari, and Ali
    https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3731873/
    myristica fragrans (nutmeg)

  17. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    we awaken to the shrieks
    of cats in love

    the gift of a foal
    fills my mate with joy

  18. Just to let everyone know: I won’t be around this computer for the rest of today (Sunday, 5th of January, AEST) because it will soon be a ridiculous 48 degrees Celsius plus. I don’t have air conditioning. I might go and sit in the local Library all day and I doubt I’d be the only one. I envy you all who’re in cooler climates, today.

    (Are we having climate change on this planet? Most defiantly)

    Please continue posting verses for this spring/ love verse. I realise, going by many of the submitted verses, that it’s rather a rather difficult verse position for quite a few of you. Think “love” rather than “sexual”, “young” or “young at heart” rather than “comic” or “jaded”. Note natures signs of Spring all around (except flowers and blossoms)

    I would prefer to select a verse by someone who hasn’t yet had a verse accepted but

    1. Wowwwww. Lorin—48º celsius = 118.4º fahrenheit—that is more than hot. Here, in Phoenix, AZ right now it is 61º fahrenheit. Do enjoy the library with air-conditioning.

      1. Thanks, John. I survived it. Today is cool and rainy (thank goodness! I don’t want my garden going up in flames) The hydrangea blossoms are badly burnt, but still alive. (It was actually 42. something Celsius, not 48. But too hot, anyway)

  20. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    tossing her ripe cherries
    from the top of the tree

    pretending to enjoy
    the taste of her plum pudding

  21. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    on this spring day I weave
    you a fresh grass ring

    blending with the frogs,
    she sings his name many times

    when the skylark sings
    I think only of you

    1. John, I know you and I are out of the game, but whether by chance or not

      when the skylark sings
      I think only of you

      is like an arrow to the heart.

      1. Thank you Keith; your encouraging remarks spur me onward; like you, I know we are our of the running in this Renku because we have already secured on verse, yet . . .I am a compulive writer…I can not stop myself . . .

        in the manner of a foal
        your scent makes me prance

        1. Filly or colt, a foal is lovely. and sometimes amusing to watch as they try out their long little legs…

        2. Whoo , Keith & John!

          when the skylark sings
          I think only of you

          in the manner of a foal
          your scent makes me prance

          Takes me back to my very good, kind, helpful, intelligent and considerate friends, David and Peter, who probably saved my life. Both gone now, sadly, for many years. Never to be forgotten.

  22. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    her knock knock jokes
    cheer up a melting snowman

    she enjoys tunes
    coming from our birdhouse

  23. musical chairs
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    – Keith Evetts

    I search for a nod from you
    that we can share them

    1. ana,
      i love your link to the keith’s hokku.
      it shows such compassion and respect!
      i’m sure you know that we are doing a two line, spring, love verse
      to link with laurie greer’s non-seasonal three liner.
      i would love to see what you would offer for this one,
      even though you have missed the SUNDAY midnight EST deadline.

  24. Congrats Laurie!
    .
    .
    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case
    .
    – Laurie Greer
    .
    .
    first spring gust
    and the silk robe opens
    .
    spring light
    deeper still in the bed
    .
    the coming of spring
    recorded on his back
    .
    charting the lingering day
    with the course of his fingertips
    .
    .

  25. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    one night in spring
    we talk about forever

  26. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case——-Laurie Greer

    clutching our walkers
    while skylarks soar

  27. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    jacketless we drive
    home from classes

    her long hair billows
    out the car window

    at the drive-in
    her hand in mine

    we share a split
    with everything

    almost warm enough
    for skinny dipping

  29. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    the skylark’s song
    reminds me of your voice

  30. Congratulations Laurie and Lorin! So good!

    their arms and legs entangle
    upon the young grasses

  31. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case—–– Laurie Greer

    watching our kite
    settle down on a roof

    watching our kite
    nesting in a tree

  32. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case—–– Laurie Greer

    the soundless links & shifts
    through spring-like dreams

  33. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case—–– Laurie Greer

    our joint creams rub
    with the returning cold

  34. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case—–– Laurie Greer

    poetic words slide
    like a puck on thin ice

  35. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    as our eyes meet
    the stir of stars

    leaving a welcome mat
    moonlight for our love

    just for us
    sunrise and birdsong

    Joanna Ashwell

    1. Nice, Joanna, but there are no seasonal references in these. We need something that’s clearly a spring verse as well as being a love verse.

      2. Thank you Madeleine and Debbie. It’s shasei in part, a young couple (friends of my aunt) broke my kids’ swing. It wasn’t meant to hold the weight of two adults :)

  37. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    the shape of us
    stamped on spring grass

  38. Congratulations Laurie a lovely whimsical addition and a very coherent choice.

    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    why the judgemental stare
    lover cat?

        1. Orense, for me, it isn’t: “lover cat”, no. “cats in love”, yes. (when it’s clear that we’re talking about furry, four-legged cats that meow.)

          A problem with “lover cat” is that, in English slang, back in the days of jazz clubs, “cat” could mean a male human. There’s “cool cat” from the ’50’s – ’60s . Unfortunately, “cat” has also been a slang word for prostitute.

          1. “lover cat” and “cats in love” are the same kigo “neko no koi”. Nouns in Japanese are not numbered, “neko” may mean cat, a cat, the cat, cats, the cats, these cats and so on depending on context.
            “Lover cat” is the most common translation of “neko no koi” because most haiku that use this classical kigo imply a singular cat. “Lover cats” is also found as a possible translation alongside “cats in love”. This is a popular perhaps even iconic kigo, widely used by the masters. Issa in particular has quite a few and I’ll end with some examples of his.

            つりがねのやうな声して猫の恋
            tsurigane no yôna koe shite neko no koi

            with a voice
            like a temple bell…
            the lover cat

            猫の恋打切棒に別れけり
            neko no koi bukkirabô ni wakare keri

            the lover cats
            bluntly go
            their separate ways

            闇より闇に入るや猫の恋
            kuraki yori kuraki ni iru ya neko no koi

            from darkness
            into darkness
            the lover cat

            盗喰する片手間も猫の恋
            nusumi-gui suru katadema mo neko no koi

            a food thief
            in his spare time…
            lover cat

            四五尺の雪かき分て猫の恋
            shi go shaku no yukikaki wakete neko no koi

            through five feet of snow
            plowing his way…
            lover cat

            なの花にまぶれて来たり猫の恋
            na no hana ni maburete kitari neko no koi

            smeared with flowering
            mustard here he comes…
            lover cat

          2. Orense,
            the main thing is: we are not making a renku in Japanese, but in English (I should say “the Englishes’, probably) The reason I suggested the easily accessible ‘THE FIVE HUNDRED ESSENTIAL JAPANESE SEASON WORDS’ was to allow people from around the world to be somewhat on the same page.

            In English, ‘lover cat’ and ‘cats in love” do not have the same meaning.

            (And in English, nothing and no-one “bluntly goes” or “goes bluntly”. One can say “She bluntly refused his offer.” etc. )

            I understand that you have studied Japanese quite deeply, which is admirable. But here I am trying to guide contributors in an EL renku. (Not always easy, considering that there are differences between the various Englishes. )

          4. Lorin,

            I appreciate your efforts in guiding us through this English-language renku. I understand that “lover cat” and “cats in love” might not seem identical in English, but they euphemistically refer to the same phenomenon: a cat (or cats) in heat. This shared reality, while expressed differently, remains central to the kigo’s meaning.

            Regarding “bluntly,” one of poetry’s defining features is its ability to stretch language in unusual ways to evoke deeper meaning. In the context of cats, whose primary communication is through body language, “bluntly” can aptly describe a direct, unambiguous gesture, aligning with the nature of their interactions.

            My concern stems from how your arguments are framed, sometimes presenting opinion as fact. As sabaki, your role is pivotal, and your judgment has indeed resulted in a cohesive and beautiful renku thus far. However, distinguishing between a preference for how a verse fits the renku and the outright dismissal of a kigo’s validity is crucial.
            Kigo are not individual whims but collective cultural constructs with a rich history. They serve not only to mark seasons but also to connect the present verse to a broader tapestry of tradition, creating a vertical axis that enriches the renku’s depth.

            When I reference “lover cat,” I am invoking the myriad of images and stories attached to this kigo, as enriched by its use by past poets. This layered significance is a key aspect of what makes kigo such a powerful tool in haikai.

            I fully respect your role and decision-making as sabaki and I am not trying to sell you on “lover cat”. My hope is simply to emphasize that kigo, with their traditional weight, deserve a nuanced consideration that goes beyond their surface translation into English and cannot be deemed intrinsically unsuited to ELR.

          5. Orense, there are many problems if we expect our seasonal references in English to always mean the same thing as the Japanese kigo. We really do not have kigo in English apart from a few groups who’ve collated their own saijiki/ EL lists of seasonal words. I know that Kala Ramesh has been advocating an Indian saijiki for quite some time, now.

            ““lover cat” is a spring kigo, a variation on “cats in love” :) ” – Orense

            I believe you, Orense. It is clear that you have studied Japanese haiku and related quite deeply. All I can say is that while “lover cat” may be a kigo (Japanese), it is not a world-wide seasonal reference, nor would every reader whose first language is English be sure that the cat was the four-legged kind, (such as my old tabby cat doing figure eights around my legs at this moment.) “Cool cat”, “lover cat” , whatever cat reached its height of usage in the ’60s, if I recall rightly, and was related to jazz music.

            Part of the problem may be that English-speaking people interested in haiku and renku have adopted the term ‘kigo’ and intend a kigo to mean a seasonal reference they can relate to in their own world region or regions they’re familiar with. For, me “lover cat” doesn’t work, while “cat/ cats on heat” does.

            On Higginson’s list: ” spring mountains (haru no yama, all spring).” seems to me to be acquainted with Japanese mountains in Springtime. However, to someone in the USA, ‘Spring mountains’ might refer to a mountain range in Nevada, which has been there through all seasons from time immemorial.

            Basho had it easy. All of the participants at his renku sessions spoke the same language.

            Orense, all of your scholarly insights are of interest. As a cat person, I enjoy the translations of the Issa “cat haiku” .

            But being a guide in a EL renku open to all is a balancing act.

  39. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case—–– Laurie Greer

    the spring wind sweeps
    away sweet nothings

  40. Congratulations Laurie and thank you Lorin, best wishes to all for a fantastic new year!

    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    holding hands
    under a rainbow

    kissing her melons
    at the farmers’ market

    shopping for wedding rings
    at the pawnshop

    watching her wave
    to the returning geese

    maybe it’s her smile
    that’s melting the snow

    2. Dan, re
      “kissing her melons
      at the farmers’ market”

      I believe melons (the fruit) are summer fruit rather than spring, even in the tropics. . Also (unfortunately) , although it is clever, the double entendre seems somewhat bawdy to me.

      1. It is exactly as you say, Lorin, a summer fruit. Being a woman of the land, and realizing the double entendre, hearing the many words from farmers at a market, this, is mild.

        Mine is just a chosen comment, and nothing more.

        1. I, too, am familiar with ‘country matters’, Carol. But I don’t want the double entendre of “kissing her melons” in this ‘spring/love’ verse spot. I want (I believe this renku needs) a more romantic verse for this position. Spring is associated with beginnings.

      1. Carol, the trouble with “they’re up and down all night” is that (in my experience) the cause is most often diarrhea. So, not a verse for this spot.

  43. Laurie (i must have overlooked this one),
    Congrats!!!! it sure is a nice one! Thank you for submitting it!
    Lorin, a good, clear and safe pick!

    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case—–– Laurie Greer

    the spring wind keeps
    sweet nothings under umbrella

    1. “. . . safe pick” ? Wendy. Since we are, as Churchill famously opined, that we are ” divided by a common language”, would you please explain what you mean by that? Because to me your comment seems to “damn with faint praise” both Laurie’s verse and my selection of it.

      I look forward to your explanation.

      1. Lorin,
        The minute i saw Laurie’s verse i was reminded of
        the scout’s two word motto, “Be Prepared”!
        and quotes like, ‘Better “safe” than sorry!

        (of course you are free to interpret anything you read,
        anyway you like to see it.)

        beauty. like love, is in the eyes of the beholder.

        2. I agree, Wendy, that being prepared, in the case of Laurie’s verse, is clearly the main essence of this verse. Being prepared with a ‘love potion’ is also, to my mind, humorous. This girl has a plan.
          (and her link to the previous verse is also excellent)

        3. Certainly, “be prepared” is central to Laurie’s verse, Wendy, as is “just in case”. I find this scenario clever and amusing. The ‘speaker’ is no doubt ‘ready for love’ and she has her plan. She has the potion ready in case she comes across someone she fancies. I imagine her sitting at a bar, waiting for an attractive person, someone she might fancy, then engaging the ‘victim’ in some conversation before slipping a bit of that potion into a drink.

          This verse could lead easily into a comparison/ contrast verse, involving a more naive and younger woman or man as well as using a Spring seasonal reference. Not an easy verse, though. I think it’s probably the hardest verse to get right we’ll have in this renku.

          (It was only your ‘safe pick’ that I had trouble with. Probably just a ‘divided by a common language’ issue.)

  44. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    very nice, laurie.
    good fit, lorin.

  46. I do not know how to submit as a beginner I will attempt a few words thank you and bear with me

    We spoon curved connection
    Touch a talisman
    Dreaming same dreams
    Ii musical. Chairs
    A note held past breath.
    We who hear brass cry bass
    Search seats of soul no more
    I have never used any words prior.to this please bear with me I am trying to learn thank you with gratitude

  47. I do not know how to submit as a beginner I will attempt a few words thank you and bear with me

    We spoon curved connection
    Touch a talisman
    Dreaming same dreams
    Ii musical. Chairs
    A note held past breath.
    We who hear brass cry bass
    Search seats of soul no more

    1. Claire, I suggest that before you try writing for this verse you go to the THF renku archives (or any other archive of renku you can find) and in that way, get a better idea of what a ‘love’ verse (or in this case, spring love verse) can be.
      The verse will have 2 lines, no break between them, a setting of spring and love. Love/ roamance between adult humans: this doesn’t mean porn or actual sexual acts. It does mean that ” I love my dog” and the like is ruled out.

      2. Thank you loren simplicity is not a Strong point all your poets are so good I must study and stop trying so hard. Goodbye for now and I little while I am ill blessing to all pots

          1. Hi Claire, writing renku can be very overwhelming at times, especially when you are first starting. I wanted you to know I enjoyed reading your haiku which appeared on “Haiku Dialogue”, today.

            “dreams borne
            of the back of a mirror
            distorted present”

            Claire Cayson
            United States

            I would like to suggest an excellent book that might be helpful…. “Renku Reckoner”, by John Carley which was recommended by a poet a few years back, who contributes here…
            Looking forward to seeing you and your work when you publish here, again…Hope you will have fun with the process!

            Blessings to you, too! :)

  48. I suspect this verse is a hard one for some. Also, not everyone is on the same continent, let alone the same page when it comes to meanings of words. And we do need everyone to be on the same page.

    So here’s where a kiyose can be very helpful. Higginson’s ‘THE FIVE HUNDRED ESSENTIAL JAPANESE SEASON WORDS’ is easy to find and understand.
    http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html

    Just, please, ignore the first entry re “Spring-animals’ . For all their very useful knowledge about many things, it’s clear that neither Higginson nor Kris Young Kondo were familiar with horses:

    SPRING–ANIMALS
    colt, pony (wakagoma, late spring).

    Neither colt nor pony indicate a season. A colt is a male juvenile horse whose age is anywhere from new born to four years old. A pony is not a young horse, but a small horse, for instance the Shetland pony, the Welsh pony, the Timor pony, etc.

    1. I don’t think the compilers of the list of kigo did anything wrong. Nor does their knowledge of lack of knowledge of horses have anything to do with kigo that have already been established for centuries. Kigo are about convention, some kigo have an intrinsic ability to evoke the season but most, the vast majority, have a tenuous link(often having to do with aspects of ancient life) to one particular season and it is only because of precedent and convention that they represent one season or part of a season. They are a coded language most of them accessible only to the initiate, which is why even Japanese haiku poets who are a lot more intimate with their use need to have their saijiki on hand to navigate the subtleties they present.
      “Colt” and “pony” as symbols of spring might be linked to the kigo “spring horse”, a horse who has been cooped up in the stable all winter and is now free to spend the pent up energy and frolick in the fields. They may represent the season because they are out in the fields again after being less seen during wintertime.
      Kigo are often based on when the topic is first or most noticeable such as is the case for the spring kigo “pinwheel” and “soap bubbles” which are first seen again in spring when children start playing outside more or “owl” which are better seen once the trees have lost their leaves in winter. It may also be that the vigor and energy of the “pony/colt” could be seen as aligning with the season as well, or some other reason having to do with ancient traditions. Anyway they are kigo for spring and are no less appropriate than “frog” or “pheasant”.
      Trying to use pure logic to describe kigo is a futile endeavour… “Frog” is a kigo for spring, “river frog” is a kigo for summer…. make it make sense lol:)

      1. i agree, Orense, with many of your strong points.
        how the kigo come about….how sometimes because the animal is predominantly seen outside….may just be enough to create the season connection.
        Where a difficulty with our kigo as code, i foresee, is with climate change….this can wreck a renku for sure….when snow snows in places where snow never snowed before!

        1. I agree Wendy, global haiku with the added difficulty of climate change may indeed challenge saijiki. Maybe we should add an “unseasonal verse” to renku:)

          2. Orense, we already have “no particular season/ all seasons” verses in renku. In this renku
            John Daleiden’s

            a road sign
            points in the direction
            of the Monument

            is the first and Laurie Greer’s

            ready
            with a love potion
            just in case

            is the most recent.

          3. No seasonal reference is different from what an unseasonal verse would be in this sense, which would be a verse with unexpected weather for the season. :)

      2. “Kigo are often based on when the topic is first or most noticeable such as is the case for the spring kigo “pinwheel” and “soap bubbles” which are first seen again in spring when children start playing outside more …” – Orense

        Yes, that’s true. And ‘first things’ are useful. (I think you misinterpreted my comment about ‘pony’, small horse, Orense, but it’s not significant. The translators were definitely off on that point. I suspect what was meant was ‘foal’. )
        —-
        From what I’ve read so far I realise that this Spring love verse is difficult, though people have been having fun with it.. As guide/ sabaki for this renku I think I should probably give a bit more guidance, so I’d like you all to consider Spring and its associations.

        We can’t have flowers/ blossoms in this verse but consider that ‘first things” and “new things” of nature are associated with Spring. Birds build nests. Nestlings hatch and parent birds search for insects and worms to feed them. The adults protect the nests with eggs or chicks in them. The blue wren male will take his little, brown fledglings to the rocks by the river, teaching them how to drink water. Tadpoles are in ponds etc. The first bees collect pollen for their hives. (and wasps of different kinds do, too) A little later in Spring, ducklings and cygnets can be seen peeking out of their parents wing feathers and a bit later paddling along the pond/ river/creek behind the parent bird. I’m sure everyone will have images and memories of Spring things and activities that would work with Love.

        Young people are also associated with Spring, as is innocence. Can you remember your first attraction to someone? (Which is often mutual attraction) I do remember. He blushed bright red whenever I looked at him. Country boy.

        The main reason why I suggested checking out Higginson’s Spring kigo was that I believe, from what I’ve read so far, contributors here have been focusing on sexual acts of one sort or another to link to Laurie’s verse. Perhaps what’s needed is less blatant, humorous sex-driven references and a bit more of a lean to love (but still, love between two adults). Perhaps young love or romance would blend with Spring? Or reminiscence of love such as an elderly person might have? (Yes, one can blend the now (Spring things) with memory. )

        Laurie’s ‘love potion’ is an excellent and humorous verse, but the young (or the “young at heart” of any age) don’t need such potions. As well as linking to Laurie’s verse, we need to move on into this ‘Spring/ Love’ verse.

        Remember to link and shift.

        I’m hoping this will be helpful. I’m not here to argue points with anyone, only to guide in the direction I consider to be the best for this renku, for it to be successful.

        1. They haven’t made a mistake per se,
          “foal” kouma 仔馬 is indeed a spring kigo but
          “young horse/colt” wakagoma わかごま, 若駒 is also a kigo for spring

          These kigo can refer to both horses and ponies, Japanese doesn’t make a difference. Ponies are after all just a type of horse.

          Kigo are always complicated to navigate in English and your preoccupation as sabaki understandably is not true compliance with the letter of saijiki but rather using kigo in a way that makes the renku’s interpretation intuitive for the reader. But I just wanted to prevent inaccuracies on the record for those interested in kigo, they can be a nightmare at times :)

          1. “They haven’t made a mistake per se,…” – Orense
            (I’m not so sure of that, Orense. )

            “These kigo can refer to both horses and ponies, . . . ” (Orense)
            Of course. (Duh! ) Ponies are horses, after all.

            . “foal” kouma 仔馬 is indeed a spring kigo …” (Orense)

            ‘Foal’ is certainly a spring seasonal reference in English and I imagine it would be in any language, but (please note) it’s not listed in the 500 Essential Season Words. And yet ‘pony’ is.

            “Ponies are after all just a type of horse.” Orense

            Yes. Ponies are not a sign of Spring. Not a kigo. No more than any other breed of horse is a sign of a season, anywhere in the world.
            Ponies are types/breeds (plural) of small horses. Yes, there will be a list somewhere of the various breeds of ponies in the world. In my life, though, I’ve been close up to or on only two types, the Shetland Pony (in Australia) and the Timor Pony (in Timor and other Indonesian islands . )

            I’m not sure why, Orense, but from your various comments I get the impression that you consider I’ve not been familiar with horses. My own horse (a stock horse, actually ) was a bay with black points, 16 and a half hands at the withers. He was capable of many paces.

          2. ““young horse/colt” wakagoma わかごま, 若駒 is also a kigo for spring” – Orense
            “young horse” is iffy to accept for Spring. What is young? Foal, for a baby-to toddler horse, is fine, for both sexes..
            (a colt , BTW, is an uncastrated male horse under four years of age. A filly becomes a mare when she is 4 years old. )
            It’s hard to know what some Japanese things, translated, might mean.

          3. ““young horse/colt” wakagoma わかごま, 若駒 is also a kigo for spring” – Orense

            “young horse” is iffy to accept for Spring. What is young? Foal, for a baby-to-toddler horse, of either sex is fine..
            (a colt , BTW, is an uncastrated male horse under four years of age. A filly becomes a mare when she is 4 years old. These things are accepted around the English speaking world and further. )
            It’s hard to know what some Japanese things, translated, might mean.

      3. Yes, perhaps we shouldn’t be using the word ‘kigo’, and use “seasonal reference” instead, since we are not Japanese nor do we live in Japan.

        ““Frog” is a kigo for spring, “river frog” is a kigo for summer…. make it make sense lol:)” -Orense
        I agree. That’s all about Japanese tradition. I don’t know ,but since (in Australia) we have various types of frogs in the various regions (which have various climates) , there are probably various types of frogs in Japan. I think that the river frogs were the one’s referred to in traditional renga. They were romanticized apparently, the males singing to attract the females.. But then along came Basho.

      5. Orense, a kyose is useful, kigo are useful. We do need such guides so we can all be on the same page when writing our verses, but we (most of us here) are not Japanese.

        I really don’t care what “spring horse” might mean to ancient Japanese people. Many of these kigo are very old. When I think of “spring” and “horse” I think of newborn foals trying to stand up for the first time, then these foals, having found their feet, frisking about. They still need their mother’s milk. They play, both colts and fillies, frisking around on legs that seem too long for them, to delcate. I recall them as being both lovely and funny.

        This does not mean I don’t appreciate kiyose. I try to understand the original meaning of any kigo. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes not. Some are useful for currently composed EL haiku & renku, but not all are.

        Kigo are really only seasonal references for the Japanese. Seasonal words might be references for some regions of this planet only. In Australia we have the term “bushfire”. I have been there.
        Right now we have “wildfires” (the American term equivalent to the term bushfires, but happening in city areas in the USA, not the forested regions.

        Yes, Wendy, climate change is happening, no doubt. Consider “the time is out of joint” (Hamlet) and we have a reference to climate change in something like “the seasons are out of joint” (or the like) which is no doubt happening in our present time.

        Writing haiku or renku these days is a balancing act,

  49. ready
    with a love potion
    just in case – Laurie Greer

    butterflies on your grave mound
    when I visit you today

  50. as the evening grows cold
    he loosens her hair

    as the evening grows cold
    he loosens her kimono

    once again the fisherman
    baits his line

    1. Carol, I can’t help but say how delightful your verses are to me, especially the top two…my favorite is your second:

      “as the evening grows cold
      he loosens her kimino”

      Carol Jones

  51. Thank you, Lorin, for selecting this one! I am thrilled to be part of Musical Chairs.
    Happy new year to everyone!

    1. Excellent work, Laurie. I can’t see how I could’ve possibly not selected it for this spot.

  52. ready

    with a love potion

    just in case
    – Laurie Greer

    spring dawn
    finds us wanting more

    the first spring gust
    arouses our hopes
    our smooth jazz
    stands still in shiny wind

    our striptease is wanting
    spring thunder

    the waters of spring
    beacon between us

    we want a fling
    in spring mud

    shimmering heat
    reconstitutes our passion

    naked we touch down
    in cloudy spring

    1. Oops missed a skipped line!

      the first spring gust
      arouses our hopes

      our smooth jazz
      stands still in shiny wind

      1. Pamela, I’m curious. Can you explain for me how “jazz” (smooth or otherwise) stands still?

        (I’m fairly sure this is a case of “divided by a common language”)

        1. Hi Lorin, I was trying to think of a sexy dance. And imagined that as the feeling intensified it became internal! My fantasy, not a common language.

          1. Ah, I see. I think you might mean “shining wind” , as in Higginson’s list. All I can find when googling is ‘kaze hikaru’ a Manga series. (Dammit!) But from among all those Manga things I’ve found:
            “. . . the words Kaze Hikaru, or 風光る, actually embed a meaning of spring. Generally, it entails a warm breeze of spring that follows after a dark cold winter, comes and breathes gently upon the skin, as if like a shining radiance.”
            https://xkazemg.wordpress.com/2011/07/13/what-does-khs-english-title-shining-wind-mean/

            (Higginson can’t be blamed: there were no Manga comics in his time.)

            That image (shining, not shiny, wind) is a good one & a real thing, showing ‘spring’ (Yes, a traditional kigo) .’smooth jazz’ (sometimes referred to as ‘elevator music) is ok and the two images can work together. And yet, does there have to be “a sexy dance” ? That somehow cheapens it. Some things can be implied. And how does “smooth jazz” (or any other music) stand still?

            It seems to me you have two very good images (‘shining wind’, which shows the beginning of Spring and ‘smooth jazz’) The thing is, what can you do to use these two images to make an excellent a spring love verse that links to Laurie’s verse?

          2. Great to see the workshopping, Lorin.

            And ’tis a fine verse by Laurie. Gentle haikai humour so good to see in a renku.

      1. Great to receive the workshopping! Thank you Lorin!

        ready

        with a love potion
        
just in case
        – Laurie Greer

        we make smooth jazz
        in the shining wind

        the shining wind
        quickens our smooth jazz

    3. Pamela, re your:

      the waters of spring
      beacon between us

      I can’t work out what you mean here., but one thing is clear: you are trying to use the word ‘beacon’ as a verb but that can’t work. ‘Beacon’ is not a verb, It’s a noun.
      (for instance: ‘The rain was so heavy we couldn’t see the lighthouse beacon.’ )

      1. I had intended to type :
        the waters of spring
        beckon between us

        maybe better like this:
        the waters of spring
        drown our inhibitions

      2. Pamela,
        I believe Otto has been at it again, lol!…I think he mispelt “beckon” but not sure if “beckon”
        Is the word that you were planning on using… I love all your verses and your very own sexy jazzy dance!

        1. our smooth jazz
          stands still in shiny wind

          Pamela Garry

          Love this one Pamela!

          There I go again…please excuse my suggestion above…I see that Otto didn’t get the better of you… and you had already corrected his mistake! Lol!

  53. 5
    winter moon
    dripping from
    the shelter tent
    6
    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    7
    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case
    8
    the young man’s fancy ‘
    needs a little guidance

    they nearly all want one
    at this time of the year

    Aries rising
    and see the stars in her eyes

    Laurie : The quote from John Carley seems a bit obscure as it stands. I take it to mean that these days a love verse need not be about frustrated or desperate love. is that right?

    1. Yes, Dick, that’s right.
      When John Carley refers to “the lingering renga conventions . . . ” he is alluding to one of the strict conventions of renga. Renga is the classic string of Japanese verses. But Basho introduced haikai no renga, which is the string of verses we now refer to as ‘renku’.

      Renku allows the realistic, the observed and the ‘ordinary’. I vaguely recall a (Japanese) renku verse that has someone noticing that a delivery boy (who arrives on a horse, back then, of course) seems to spend an unusually long time hanging around in the kitchen, with the kitchen maid. Everyone knows he’s still in there because his horse is tethered outside. Things are implied, not necessarily stated. That is a renku love verse , waiting for the next love verse.

      There is more of the comical in renku/ haikai no renga than there was in renga and there is more of the common.

  55. Congratulations, Laurie! A lovely selection, Lorin!

    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    – Laurie Greer

    whistling along
    with a songbird

    kneeling in dirt
    amongst faeries

    giggling whilst we
    dig up mandrakes

    grooving with our
    tongues in cheeks

    1. No, Pamela, it can’t. The only verse that has a cut in renku is the first verse the hokku. So, no cuts or breaks, but a “run-on” over two lines is needed for this verse.

  57. Congratulations Laurie Greer on your fine verse 7:

    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case

    Lorin Ford, an excellent choice. Thank you for including my verse in your short list even though I know I can only have one verse (3) in this Renku

    1. Well, John, I wanted to show , in the short list, a variety of good, suitable ‘love’ verses. As you can see, I included one of Laurie’s in the short list, despite that another of hers is our 7th verse,

      I was happy to respond positively to the request for a short list because it allows for examples of verses that I consider to be good for the spot.

  58. Congratulations Laurie, a wonderful and magical verse! Lorin, a perfect addition.

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