Renku Sessions

The Renku Sessions: 12 Tones – Musical Chairs, Week 7

renku_300

Welcome to THF’s Renku Sessions. I’m Lorin Ford, acting as sabaki/ guide for this renku.

***

The 6th verse: hospitality

***

Musical Chairs – a Junicho Renku

 

musical chairs
a handful
of hot chestnuts

– Keith Evetts

the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow

– Clysta

a road sign
points in the direction
of the Monument

– John Daleiden

are we
there yet?

– Curt Linderman

winter moon
dripping from
the shelter tent

– Fatma Zohra Habis

a warm cup of tea
for the newcomer  

– Hla Yin Mon

 

In my view, this verse is perfect for the spot, linking simply and naturally to Fatma’s previous verse. The origins and history of tea date back to China almost 5,000 years ago. Offering someone a cup of tea can be a simple, unpretentious greeting of friendliness, acceptance and welcome.  Someone offers a warm, comforting welcome to a newcomer and this action throws light on the  adage “charity begins at home”. Even when, as in this case, home may be a cold and crowded shelter tent, kindness reigns.

Well done, Hla Yin!

***

Some contributors have requested that I include a short list of ‘also ran’ verses. That is almost as hard as selecting the chosen verse for a part of a renku, as there are so many poets submitting. Basho didn’t have the problem of so many contenders! Here are a few verses, in no particular order, which I consider were also suitable for the spot. In no particular order:

 

the solace
of small words        – Orense

*

a bundle of rags
stirs in the doorway – Harrison

*

a line of shadows
beside an idling bus   – Richard Straw

*

warming smiles
at the community kitchen – Melissa Dennison

*

—

We are now half-way through this renku. Our 7th verse will be a ‘long’ (3 lines) non-seasonal ‘love’ verse. (This means sexual love between human adults.) Your verse needs to link in some way to Hla Yin Mon’s verse and totally avoid verse 5, the previous verse. (As Keith’s crystal ball has no doubt predicted, the next verse (verse 8) will also be a ‘love’ verse. More about that next week. Focus on verse 7.)

Wishing you all the best of the season, wherever you are on our lucky planet. (If you think it’s cold where you are, consider the planet Venus.)

– Lorin

 


The submission deadlines will be Sundays, midnight Eastern US time.

 

 

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct

John Stevenson

Comments (202)

  1. A sweet verse from Hla Yin Mon.

    a warm cup of tea

    for the newcomer

    the cute waiter
    smiles as he serves her
    his telephone number

    With best wishes for 2025 to you, Lorin, and all renku participants.

    1. oh, Marion,
      how this musical chairs renku is thirsting for your perfect verse!
      no need for interpretations, this was has nothing to do with ambiguities.
      it is universally experienced, links IMO, perfectly with the verse above, makes its shift to a diner/café style place, then opens up a world of possibilities, (while giving us just the right amount of spice and suspense) for the second love spot!
      “With best wishes for 2025 to you, Lorin, and all renku participants”
      ditto!!!!

      This is the breakthrough i have been waiting for in my heart of heart for this slot, and i believe, crossing my fingers, our sabaki feels that this is spot on…her cup of tea, too!

      1. Happy New Year, Wendy, and thank you for your kind words. Alas, I’m way too late for this verse but look forward to coming up with something for the next one.

    2. Marion, Happy New Year. It’s 7:20 am, January 1st, 2025, here in Australia.(Australian Eastern Standard Time)

      Unfortunately, your post is way past the deadline for submissions this time. John Stevenson worked out the deadlines and it is announced on the Home Page every week. See above : “The submission deadlines will be Sundays, midnight Eastern US time.”

      I have to send the Home Page, with the new verse and other information to John by a certain day and time. I know that I can expect to see the new home page on THF when I wake up on Friday (my Friday, Australian Eastern Standard time) Today is Wednesday, New Year’s Day, for me. I sent the new home page to John yesterday (Tuesday, for me) as usual.

      So, always check your local time against USA EST time. I know that my time (Australian Eastern Standard Time) is about a 12 – 15 hours ahead of USA time. (It varies)

      Wendy’s previous post (the one before her post addressed to you) was posted at death knock:
      December 29, 2024 at 11:59 pm: one minute to midnight!

      (I’m surprised, Wendy, that you didn’t give this information to Marion.)

      Do send a submission for the next verse, Marion. It will be a 2-liner. The new verse (verse 7 )and all the information will be on the title page, as usual.

      1. How silly of me, Lorin. 🙄 Keith has also explained this to me and I’m still getting it wrong! I’ll try to get a verse in before Sunday. It’s 3:16am here in Ireland on the first day of 2025 and I can’t sleep! Happy New Year. 🥳

        1. Not silly. Marion. It’s easy to forget that the deadline is “Sundays, midnight Eastern US time” even though John S. has that post up there for us every week.
          The deadline date and time of our posts is Sundays, midnight in Eastern USA time, too. It’s easy for Wendy to post, in her playful way, at one minute to midnight because that is her local time.
          I am posting this message to you on the first of January, 2025 at 3:13 pm, Australian EST. The time and date above will be different because it’s Eastern USA time.

          You need to post before the coming Sunday, USA ES time. (Just google “what time is it in USA ES time now?” and check that against your local time.

  2. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer– — – Hla Yin Mon

    i can still taste
    the peanut butter
    from our last spoon

    still a little film
    of peanut butter
    from our last spoon

    1. Well-timed at death-knock, Wendy. :-) I think you know I’d not be looking for these verses for the spot, but you’ve given me a genuine laugh.

      1. Lorin,
        I have been so involved readying for the New Year events and listening to the conversations below about interpretations and finding them quite valuable. while your response to my two posts was placed on the back burner. excuse me for responding this late:
        Since…. i find these to be relevant to the discussions, i wanted to respond to your comments.
        Firstly: i’m putting myself in your shoes, and attempting to feel the experience you might have felt receiving this post, a minute before the deadline….It must have been hilarious!!!!!! LOL!!!!!
        How you paired the timing of the posts with the parallels your saw with the film you believe is about death! i am so glad that you were able to have a genuine laugh from it. And i am enjoying with you this fantasy.
        But to be honest and fair, i can not take credit, this time, for this cleverness!
        I find it fascinating that this association was made with information and life experience that is special to you.
        To be understanding of how we are all free to interpret what we read differently, i would never try to invalidate your framing/spin/interpretation of my words.
        And with that said,
        Secondly, i share with you the genesis of this.
        i waited ’til the last minute to post, because i didn’t want any “fingers but mine in the jar”…..pun intended!
        Thirdly: these verses, though admittedly parallel aspect fantasies from a movie, are completely based on my personal (shasei) , as follows:

        when i met my soul mate who became my spouse, i was managing a three story rooming house. i had no access to a private refrigerator, or kitchen at this time. He was spending many hours with me here,
        a would bring a jar of peanut butter for snacking, as it didn’t require refrigeration, and take a spoonful as needed to keep his gylcemic levels in check.

        this verse came to me when i remembered the taste lingering in my mouth, after he kissed me and left for work early in the morning while i was still sleeping. And how it made me feel his presence still there.

        to be honest, Lorin, i don’t know your specific reasons you have to disqualify this verse….can you elaborate and enlighten me more?
        (note always, i respect your right to disqualify anything you want.)

        as an aside:
        as for me, a good part of the fun of being sabaki as it is reading anyone’s submission, is to be open to the discovery and serendipity of what may come, sans script in mind.

        1. Oh! Wendy, considering peanut butter and spoon, and your post at death knock, I assumed your were alluding to a subject we have shared before: Brad Pitt in the film ‘Meet Joe Black’.
          Peanut butter and all. :-)

          (for those who might be reading this and are unaware of the film/ movie:
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meet_Joe_Black

          You even have “a little film” , Wendy (good pun! if you look at it in relation to film/movie) I thought it was clever, playing with two meanings of ‘film’).
          –
          I didn’t ‘disqualify’ anything, though.

        2. ps, Wendy, the reason why your post gave me a laugh is that we’ve been here before (not recently) There was a conversation (a pleasant one! back then) between you and I , some time ago where you definitely referred to Brad Pitt and the film, ‘ Meet Joe Black’ (which involved peanut butter & (literal) spoons, as you know). We had a friendly, light-hearted conversation and agreed that we both enjoyed the film/movie. I recall saying that I said I’d be adding more peanut butter to my larder. (which I did) The chat really had nothing to do with renku or haiku whatsoever.. Nor did you mention your husband.

          In your post, above , I credited you with a clever pun (the death knock), in relation to Brad Pitt’s entity in the film/ movie . I thought you were referring to our prior conversation re the film/movie in a light-hearted way, for fun. I did not for a moment think that you were seriously submitting a verse for consideration.

          Well, I now believe you that you truly intended submitting for consideration. Sorry, Wendy , but I thought you were just playing around. That’s the truth. (You do play around. You truly comic verses are excellent))

          There’s nothing even resembling ‘disqualification’ in my response, though. I don’t know what you expected, but I will tell you why I wouldn’t choose either of these verses for the 7th verse if I had recognised them as verses for consideration following Hla Yin Mon’s verse:

          a warm cup of tea
          for the newcomer – Hla Yin Mon
          –
          i can still taste
          the peanut butter
          from our last spoon

          (1) Where is the (essential!) link to the previous verse? Peanut butter has no obvious relation to a cup of tea to my mind, Nor does a cup of tea necessarily involve a spoon, literal or otherwise..

          (2) Though because, along the way of this week’s thread, there have been “spooning” verses, in context here I think your “spoon” is likely to be the positioning of one person’s body-front against another person’s backside (‘spooning’ in this sense, these days, is essentially an American term. I believe. However : “The term “spooning” may have originated in 19th century Wales as a description of flirtatious behavior between couples. In the 20th century, it came to refer to a sexual position where one person has intercourse with another person on their side from behind.”

          (Who knew? Not me.)

          Though it may also be the (literal) last spoon in the kitchen drawer, that’s unlikely in a ‘love’ verse. (Australians are more likely to call this ‘love’ position “cuddling up against someone’s arse” but I accept that would be a tad too crude for this venue.).

          More importantly, where is the connection from this verse to Hla Yin Mon’s verse? And how does this verse open the way for the next verse? These are some of the issues a guide/ sabaki has to deal with. What’s important is the flow, which like the flow of a river, is always forwards until the end.

          In my opinion, writing renku verses is far more difficult than writing haiku because each renku verse has to link to the previous verse but also open an entrance for the verse that will follow.

          Of course people will have varying interpretations of verses. That’s why the guide, the sabaki, gets to have the last word. But not having a verse selected does not mean that a verse has been ‘disqualified’. All it means is that a particular sabaki/ guide has considered that another verse in that place is more suitable.

          To everyone: if your verse isn’t the accepted verse, please don’t consider that it’s ‘disqualified’.
          All it is, is that the sabaki/guide has preferred another verse for that spot. Another sabaki/guide may have selected a different verse. Such is life!

          I hope this all helps.

          – Lorin, (posted in the evening of Wednesday the 1st of January (New Year’s Day) from Brunswick, Victoria, Australia)

  3. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    – Hla Yin Mon

    her mother
    relieved
    that he can cook

    never wanting
    to reveal
    he didn’t like her cooking

  4. “Orense
    December 26, 2024 at 12:05 pm

    and then there is handful in V1….

    the suddenness
    of fingerprints
    on steamy glass ”
    —
    Ah, but verse 1 is far enough away, so it wouldn’t matter. (but I must say that, rather than ‘love’, this image takes me to Alfred Hitchcock’s shower scene, though it was steamy, transparent shower curtains we saw through, not glass. Still, the fingerprints could be on the door (always glass) of the local sauna. They could belong to someone peeping in to a steamed-up car window, too, for instance, a perv or a policeman.
    Interesting image, though I’m not sure what to make of it. I’m missing something, I think.

      1. It’s not a “negative spin” Madeilene.
        I wrote (to Orense) that the verse 1 ‘handful’ was far away enough not to bother about. That, I believe, is positive news.

        The rest isn’t ‘negative’, either. Hitchcock was a brilliant film maker and the film I’m referring to, while scary, was rated excellent by many more than myself. As a member of my local baths, I’ve used the sauna and seen sudden handprints, which, while looking spooky, are usually kids who are looking for a parent.

        But, here’s your chance to educate me (and any others who might be interested). What is it that makes these words a love scene, as you claim them to be?

        “the suddenness
        of fingerprints
        on steamy glass ”

        ???

        I’ll be very interested in your response, especially your explanation as to how these words show a love scene.

      2. I could say more, Madeleine, and I could even try to understand whether your “sorry” is true or false, but it’s 6.01 pm here and the cat is expecting dinner.

        Do return to tell me why you think my “interpretation” has a “negative spin”, though, and why you’re sorry. (Somehow, though, I find it hard to believe that you’re sorry , considering your previous behaviour during this renku. But if you’re truly sorry, I’ll accept an apology from you.)

        1. Lorin, I don’t have the experience or knowledge to educate any one on the art of renku. You are the sabaki and doing an excellent job, by the way. Orense’s verse has many layers and should be left to the reader’s interpretation. In my opinion one of the reasons Orense’s verse works so well is because it’s open-ended. It’s up to the reader to envision whether this love scene takes place in the shower, or in a car at the drive-in and even how sexy a scene it will be. It’s a great verse.

          1. Well. Madeleine, if this is the case: “. . . It’s up to the reader to envision whether this love scene takes place in the shower, or in a car at the drive-in and even how sexy a scene it will be. It’s a great verse. ” then you have no reason or right to object to the reader’s (any reader’s) response, do you?
            You have no reason or right to object to my responses, do you?. But you have objected.

            Also, you’ve ignored my requests that you slow down a bit with your posts, to think for a while before rushing off one of your verses per post without thought, to stop- acting as if you were an appointed class monitor, etc.

            This is a renku session, not a party . I hope that is clear, now.

            I’m asking you to settle down a bit, If you don’t like the way I’m managing this renku then drop out. There’s no shame in that. This won’t be the last THF renku ever and the next person to take on the sabaki/guide role might be more to your liking.

          2. I stand corrected, Lorin. I have no reason to object to your response. And It’s a reasonable request to ask me “to settle down a bit”. Even though this session has been to my liking, I am taking a break from the renku for a while.

    2. I was hoping it would give Titanic sexy scene vibes rather than Alfred Hitchcock :) I think fingerprints is what takes it out of love verse territory, it brings a less passionate gesture to mind than hands would. If you think it is far enough from V1 then I think hands/handprints works better, adding a detail can also make clear that this is about physical love if you still find it ambiguous. The reader/author is the perv here catching the couple in the act:)

      the suddenness
      of hands entwined
      on steamy glass

      or

      the suddenness
      of hands braced
      on steamy glass

      1. Yes, Orense, I understand you wouldn’t have been thinking of scary movies. :-) But think of the words on the page, and what responses these would have.

        It’s a bit late now, but ‘steamy’ (literally steamy, as we experience in a shower or sauna) isn’t in itself sexy, is it? Going from the literal ( for instance ‘steamy sauna) to the figurative (a steamy love scene) isn’t always easy. especially in short poems such as haiku, renku verses and the like.

        the suddenness
        of hands entwined
        on steamy glass

        or

        the suddenness
        of hands braced
        on steamy glass

        I see what you’re after (I think) . Something like “a steamy scene” (steamy here, not literal)

        a pair of lovers
        at the drive-in theatre (or ‘at the local drive-in’)
        make a steamy scene
        ?
        something along that line?

        1. I believe that the link between literal and figurative in “steamy” is strong enough to be intuitive for a lot of people. Bodily heat and the heat of passion create steam hence its figurative use. I also think it is a pretty cliche thus recognizable image. Be it car sex, shower sex or even exhibitionist sex in front of a window, the hand violently coming up against the glass is something often seen in movies, allowing filmmakers to evoke passion without actually showing anything. For me the suddenness of the hands’ motion especially with the added details of entwined/braced should at least create the suspicion of passionate acts going on in the reader’s mind. This is the creative process behind the genesis of this verse.

          It doesn’t work for you and that is fine. We all share different imaginary landscapes and will naturally respond to images in different ways with different interpretations. I believe Madeleine was referring to the negative emotions associated with horror movies not your response as a whole. One must not forget the internet does not convey tone on either side I personally think it is a good thing to give others the benefit of the doubt. Ah how I long for emojis on this thread :)

          1. Thank you Orense. You’ve explained everything so well…it makes sense. Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. Although, to tell you the truth I was being judgemental of Lorin and for that I am truly sorry and I hope she will accept my apology. I understand that she is doing her best and that she wants the best for everyone here. I see how demanding it is being a sabaki and she is rising to the occasion. Thank you for your kindness, Orense. I think we are on this earth to help each other and in the process become better human beings, no matter what stage we are in. 😊

          2. It occurs to me that maybe steamed up glass could be more evocative than steamy. It introduces the idea of a process, that something is/has been going on for it to be so.

          3. Thank you Madeleine for appreciating my choku:) I believe renku is about inhabiting the creative moment and that the interactions between poets are what may make a verse even more meaningful. I personally live for workshopping ;)

          4. A very good philosophy…we all benefit from each other’s verses one way or another, learning more about the art of renku and even the way we live our lives.

  5. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    who knew
    what it could mean
    to get cosey
    *
    the little string
    of a hyphen
    binds our names
    *

    1. I don’t know about ‘cosey’, Laurie, but I know ‘cosy’ (Australian & British English) and ‘cozy’ (American English)

      To get cosy in my grandmother’s time was to make oneself warm and comfortable. To cosy up with someone is something like that, too.
      In my grandmother’s time, women knitted or crocheted tea cosies/ cozies, to keep the teapot warm.

      1. Sorry, Lorin–very tired! I meant cozy, as in a tea cozy to keep the pot warm, but hoped to do double duty as getting cozy.

        who knew
        what it could mean
        to get cozy

  6. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    ~Hia Yin Mon

    ceremony over
    wedding gown on the floor
    bodies entwined

    elders served
    the youths retreat
    to the wedding bed

    thirst quenched
    their bodies hunger
    for marital bliss

    dishes set aside
    lovebird whistles
    as they retire

  7. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer Hia Yin Mon

    she arranges
    his red rose bouquet
    in the bedroom vase

  8. a warm cup of tea
    
for the newcomer  
    – Ola Yin Mon

    waking entwined
    from soaring
    like eagles

    spilled milk
    rolling in the hay
    head over heals

  9. so grateful
    that Cupid
    is color blind

    she hides
    rosary beads
    in my backpack

    a thatched hut
    for our
    honeymoon suite

  10. Congratulations Hla Yin Mon – a wonderful verse! I have been distracted during this holiday season, and challenged with meeting the Sunday deadline, however, still following the renku when I have a chance.
    .
    .
    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    .
    – Hla Yin Mon
    .
    .
    druthers for drowning
    in blue eyes
    rather than the Rio Grande
    .

  11. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    approaching love
    with the heart
    of a beginner
    *
    approaching love
    with a beginner’s mind
    and heart
    *

  12. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer——–Hla Yin Mon

    his soft lashes bat my neck
    while watching
    World Series reruns

    1. Hi, Micheal. Good to see you in the pack! A question though: how many sweet babies do you have?!!!

      I suspect it might just be one of those hiccups we all experience. . Do you intend:

      rolling in my sweet baby’s arms

      ?

  15. with you I feel
    I’m walking
    on water
    ?
    Could the mention of water be too close to Fatma’s verse?
    *
    ripples of excitement
    as your lips
    touch mine

    1. “Could the mention of water be too close to Fatma’s verse?” – Carol

      Not to me, in this context, Carol.

    2. Thinking again, Carol, I do think ‘ water’ in this spot takes us to ‘dripping’ in Fatma’s verse.
      (Also, I don’t know what walking on water might feel like. When younger, up at Tamboon, I got to water-ski, but the only person I’ve heard of who walked on water was Jesus. )

      I’ve heard the expression “walking on air”, though.

      1. That’s a great reply, Lorin. All I can say is, it was an alleged miracle when it was said Jesus walked on water, such a sensation to witness. Maybe this sensation ‘could’ be related to love, who knows.
        I’m certainly not going to argue the toss :)

        Have a great New Year and many thanks for the continuation of this Renku session over the festive period.

  16. A lovely heartfelt verse, Hla Yin Mon. A person could be visiting a lavish home or an impoverished one, its always the welcome that counts the most. A Fine choice, Lorin.

  17. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    showing
    him him him
    how i slow grind a sumi stick

    1. a warm cup of tea
      for the newcomer—–– Hla Yin Mon

      showing him
      him him how i slow
      grind a sumi stick

      1. thanks, pamela and maddy,

        just as the ancients have for centuries,
        i use the time of grinding ink for meditating, collecting thoughts, warming up the arm, wrist and hand muscles and preparing for writing poetry and/or painting.

  18. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    – Hla Yin Mon

    to hear his voice
    over the klinking
    of silverware

      1. Thanks Madeleine:)

        Your lovely variations on “heart of gold” inspired this take

        at the end
        of the rainbow
        I find his heart

        or

        at the end
        of the rainbow
        his heart

  20. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer Hia Yin Mon

    their kama sutra
    abandoned in heat
    of the moment

  21. I enjoyed your poem Hia and thank you Lorin

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer – Hla Yin Mon

    hid my banjo
    until after
    the honeymoon

    her flamenco dances
    keep us
    both young

    her flamenco dances
    are a tad
    slower nowadays

    har family
    still smiles about
    this gringo’s serenade

    making love
    is better when
    riding an ox-cart

    volcano eruptions ‘
    are milder than
    her temper tantrums

    even in winter
    her butt is
    a beautiful brown

  22. a warm cup of tea

    for the newcomer  
    – Hia Yin Mon

    stirring
    sweet nothings
    back and forth

  24. winter moon
    dripping from
    the shelter tent—–– Fatma Zohra Habis

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer ———– Hla Yin Mon

    this kind of cozy
    has a warning label
    on my lips

          1. and do you know what’s cute and brings me to a smile, Madeleine, my loose fingers on the keyboard…that brings you, and maybe others to smile. And, BTW: they are the same loose fingers that helped me find, (and possibly many others) this
            very fine art of renku and this renku sessions on the map.
            Madeleine, may you never stop exploring yourself and growing
            more love and kindness on this planet.

          2. Ahhh, Wendy, you have warmed my heart…I will take your precious and encouraging words with me wherever I go :)

        1. To win my heart, my husband to be, fibbed and said he liked cats. I discovered his secret later on when our relationship was secure (Lol.) … Through the years our cats won over his heart.

  26. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    – Hla Yin Mon

    he comes complete
    with a heart
    of gold

    1. What is he, Madeleine? A Barbie doll’s Ken for a millionaire’s daughter? Try to think for a while before you let your fingers loose on the keyboard again..

      1. I was thinking Lorin… more likely attempting to spoof on society’s idea of romantic love … So yes, “a barbie doll’s Ken for a millionaire’s daughter” would not be a far off description. As you have said before, “I have been following my nose” and in this case, trying to let the creative process take over, which has proven challenging for me and take me where it will. When I was young, like many young women of today I thought falling in love and getting married would be a perfectly easy experience… so I guess I regarded my husband to be, as a kind of Ken doll. As I am drawing from my own experiences, I realize how immature I was when I first met him and how my husband’s kindness never failed to surprise, thrill and help me grow as a person, wife and mother.

  27. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    the simple leaves
    that divine the magic
    of an ordinary love
    *
    tasseomancy
    adds a touch of the divine
    to their love
    *

  28. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    savoring every sip
    of love
    at first flush
    *
    savoring every moment
    of love
    at first flush
    *
    stringing each other along
    until their lives
    grow entangled
    *

  29. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    hla yin mon

    as she takes my hand
    the aroma of warm chai
    fills my nostrils

    the door barely closed
    the aroma of warm chai
    and her impatient breath

    the aroma of chai
    slowly fades
    on her night table

    the aroma of chai
    mingles with
    her scent on the pillow

    one sip of chai
    then
    gulps of her

    1. since “night table” harks back to “chairs”…..

      the aroma of chai
      slowly fades
      from her bedroom

      1. . . . but Rob, chai is repetitive of the verse you’re linking to : tea again, though with some spices added.

    3. as she takes my hand
      the aroma of miso soup
      fills my nostrils

      the door barely closed
      the aroma of miso soup
      and her impatient breath

      the aroma of miso soup
      slowly fades
      from her bedroom

      the aroma of miso soup
      mingles with
      her scent

      one sip of miso soup
      then
      gulps of her

  30. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    his first
    good morning
    causes an explosion

    (It went off in my heart:)

  31. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    – Hla Yin Mon

    thrilled
    to find out
    he has a heart of gold

    always
    surprised
    his values are old fashioned

        1. I am sorry…no more edits.

          a warm cup of tea
          for the newcomer
          – Hla Yin Mon

          complete
          with a heart
          of gold

  32. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    the steam
    rises and blooms
    for new beginnings

  33. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    feeding her a line
    she’s happy
    to swallow
    *
    she swallows his line
    then brags
    about the catch
    *
    packing their bags
    for a second date
    elopement
    *

    1. A beautiful love song, Lorin…I also enjoyed your explanation of renku to Claire, below…a delight.

  35. without an umbrella
    he runs to meet you
    through horizontal rain

    meeting
    you for coffee
    the world melts away

  36. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    Hla Yin Mon

    he carries
    her photo
    close to his heart

    as he comes
    in close
    her heart somersaults

    their lips meet
    for the first time
    drawing blood

    the feel
    of his fingers
    interlaced with hers

    sitting
    on the back row
    where no-one else can see

    Or

    the thrill
    of sitting with you
    in the back row

    their eyes meet
    over coffee
    if only this would last

    the way his eyes
    wrinkle up when
    he laughs

    it’s a long time
    since anyone made
    him feel like this

    breaking that
    awkward silence
    on their first date

    looking over
    the table at him
    he seems like a foreign land

  37. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer——–Hla Yin Mon

    an old flame
    revealing everything
    on our first date

    1. a warm cup of tea
      for the newcomer——–Hla Yin Mon

      an old flame
      pouring out his soul
      on the first date

        1. thanks for your positive response to this verse, Lorin.
          i welcome any light you shed as to what about this verse
          makes it to “likable” status for you.
          And what you would adjust, or suggest to make it better.
          Because of your guidance, i have a very strong sense of what you don’t like(what you don’t think fits), and why you don’t
          like a verse, (why you don’t see/feel a verse fitting).
          thanks, in advance, Lorin, for your additional feedback

          1. Wendy, all I mean by my comment is that (in my view) it is an example of a verse that links well with the previous verse and flows well. I’m not saying it’s the only one or the best one. My intention was to encourage you. Your hokku for the previous THF renku was
            perfect, in my opinion, but consider this: in any renku, the author of the hokku does not have to consider previous verses. After the hokku, everyone must consider previous verses.

            The ‘newcomer’ (in my reading of your current verse) turns out to be actually an ‘old flame’ ( of whomever it is that offers the warm tea). Also, of course, the basics, the technical: no-one could mistake this verse of yours for a hokku or haiku, so that’s useful information for newcomers. This is all quite different to your “spooning” pun.

            re: “i have a very strong sense of what you don’t like(what you don’t think fits), and why you don’t like a verse, (why you don’t see/feel a verse fitting).” – Wendy

            I try to be straightforward. It really isn’t a matter of what I “like” or “dislike”. As sabaki, it is my duty to see that the renku as a whole flows (forward) , doesn’t commit uchicoshi and isn’t repetitive.

            I’m repeating this, below. from an earlier renku, (2018) as it might be relevant to your questions and perhaps of some use to you & others:

            “From what I’ve seen, different people taking on the role of sabaki will interpret all sorts of things differently. Of course the Japanese have it easier since they have a shared culture and shared sense of place. A group comprised of North Americans only would have it easier, too, as would any regional group. All we have in common in this renku is the English language. So how can we make this renku relevant to and readable by an international group (which we are) without any flag-waving but also without any dumbing down?”

            I hope that might help,. at least somewhat, Wendy.

  38. no sweetener
    needed
    for their first kiss

    in the staffroom
    romance blossoms
    over custard creams

    spooning
    in the centre
    of a heart-shaped bed

  39. Dear Lorin I am entering this path gratefully in baby steps thank you for the opportunity of these poets who share their work with such delicate beauty I love haiku their work makes me feel so very much alive and mindful. Long text sorry but I just had a breakthrough a Crack to slowly allowing myself to pass all judgements my own in particular

    1. Claire, you’re welcome. The first thing that I, you and anyone at the beginning of their renku days is to accept that only the first verse of a renku has any resemblance to a haiku. All of the other 3-line verses link to the previous verse but have no cut/ break. Step one is: link to the immediately previous verse and make sure your verse doesn’t take the reader back to the verse before the immediately previous verse.

      I hope you enjoy participating. Basho invented renku (renku = haikai no renga) Before Basho, there was traditional renga. Male frogs sat on waterlilies and serenaded their chosen female. They didn’t jump into a pond, making a splash we can hear. In traditional renga, it’s unlikely there’d be a horse crunching up a wayside flower (I reckon it was a marigold or the like). Basho noted the “smells of things” as he rides his horse into a town, in summer. Very much like the smells of things I’ve noticed in my urban suburb in summer (which for me, is now. )

  40. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    sharing
    later more than
    their stories

    one laugh
    leads to another
    then to bed

    smiles
    and laughter
    then squeals

  41. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer Hia Yin Mon

    their clothes scattered
    on the gazebo floor
    in the hot sun

  42. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    – Hla Yin Mon

    at first glance
    she knew he had
    a sunny nature

    1. Welcome Claire. You have written a wonderful verse…this week we are submitting three line verses… I can see it will be easy for you to make it three lines.

      1. Thank you so Madeline I think I have dove into myself and touching and coaching that tight knot inside to numb stuck in a comfort zone disengaged by fear I have to say thank you for showing that I have the courage to just be just so unapologetically me. Sorry long text

          1. Claire, this is how I would approach it…there are several other options

            the mere yes
            of touch
            echoed gasps desire

            You have written two lovely verses…I made them all lower case. Lorin, if you have any suggestions…

    2. Hands buttered paper
      Your fingers smear there

      You all are so wonderful from my sickness you serve me joy thank you
      I still don’t get it but your app creates a free newness which is like coming alive thanks

  44. Congratulations Hla, a simple and brief two lines that mean so much when a person is vulnerable, stressed, and is unfamiliar with surroundings.
    Thank you for another precious verse selection from our sensitive, sabaki Lorin. So perfect for the mid-way point of our renku.

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon

    we spoon
    on a yoga mat
    after the strain

    1. That’s good, Rob. I see you’re truly appreciating the mood of Hla Yin’s verse. Now, keep that mood you’ve experienced & write to it! (Thereby creating a new mood that’s nevertheless connected, a progression from the mood of Hla Yin’s verse.) Write a 2-line ‘love’ verse. Several, if you feel to. It’s not about being clever, it’s about dreaming up what comes next (keeping in mind there’s to be another ‘love verse’ on the horizon)

      1. Rob, reading through the above, I see I mistakenly typed “Write a 2-line ‘love’ verse”.
        It should be “Write a 3-line ‘love’ verse”.
        My apologies if this has confused you. We definitely need a 3-line ‘love’ verse to follow Hia Yin’s verse.

    2. Wendy, to me there’s a great gap between ” a warm cup of tea for the newcomer” and “spooning”.
      You can do this ( I believe) Try a few more possibles, let it flow.

      1. I was wondering Lorin….wouldn’t there be more of a connection between the two, because of the implied reference to “teaspoon” ? Please let me know.

        1. “madeleine kavanagh
          December 27, 2024 at 4:37 pm

          I was wondering Lorin….wouldn’t there be more of a connection between the two, because of the implied reference to “teaspoon” ? Please let me know.”
          —
          Not all connections make for a good or suitable verse, Madeleine. “We spoon on the yoga mat..” in relation to “tea” is a pun. Clever, but perhaps too clever, the sort of cleverness that has people looking upwards and rolling their eyes. The mood feels wrong, to me, for this verse position, which is the first of two ‘love’ verses.
          “” a warm cup of tea for the newcomer”and suddenly there are two people spooning on a yoga mat.

          1. Thanks, Lorin. I understand. Yes, I agree, her verse is clever and it brought a smile to my face. Lol. As I suspected Wendy was having a moment of lightheartedness…a break from the serious subject of romantic love. I say this with the utmost respect. Wendy is after all a virtuoso of “comic relief” :) I always have a good chuckle… I am learning so much and enjoying our renku adventure!

          2. I also have a deep respect for Wendy’s work…there is so much virtuosity. Her poems are all beautiful and carry much meaning.

          3. “… a break from the serious subject of romantic love. ” – Madeleine

            Tell me, Madeleine, how can there be “a break from the serious subject of romantic love”
            here when this forthcoming verse is to be our first ‘love’ verse? We haven’t had any previous verse on “the serious subject of romantic love.” And we haven’t had any previous verse on the “comic subject of romantic love” ( or anything between the two) either.

            Enough! And please keep your personal evaluations of your friends out of this renku.
            John Stevenson might request you and/or Wendy to lead and be responsible for a THF renku, some time in the future. Then Madeleine, you can do it your way, have ‘renku parties’ , encourage the raucous, support the (so far, small) nasty element , sneer at the capable and frighten off the less experienced . . .

            But not in this renku, please. (and note, Madeleine: all of your comments regarding this renku, from week one onward, are archived, as are those of every participant, including myself.)
            Please do not reply.

          4. I wanted to follow your wishes by not replying but I believe it’s very important to clear up just a few things…I didn’t mean anything by the “a break from the serious subject of romantic love”. I don’t “…sneer at the capable“. I have a deep respect for all capable haikuists and one day hope to be one myself, realizing that I am very much still in the beginning stages of writing verses. I would never want “to scare off the less experienced”. There is no “small element of nastiness” that I can see from anyone here in this renku session and if that is me, I am truly sorry you feel that way. And if you consider me to be “…an element of nastiness…”, it was never my intention. I actually admire and have confidence in your leadership style (and I truly believe if the occasion ever arose, I would make a terrible renku leader.) The only thing I disagree with you about is humor, (and perhaps the creative process) which I find strange, as some of your verses posted in previous renku have been very amusing and enjoyable.

          5. madeleine kavanagh
            December 28, 2024 at 4:06 am

            “. . . I believe it’s very important to clear up just a few things…I didn’t mean anything by the “a break from the serious subject of romantic love”. -(madeleine kavanagh)

            Why.Madeleine, would you (or anyone) say/ write something that they didn’t mean anything by? Or say/ write something that didn’t mean anything?
            It’s beyond me. My advice to you is to think before you post a comment.

  45. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    this verse made me feel so comfortable hla.
    i could actually smell the warm aroma of chai
    filling my nostrils.

    just perfect lorin, keep it up!

    1. That’s good, Rob. I see you’re truly appreciating the mood of Hla Yin’s verse. Now, keep that mood you’ve experienced & write to it! (Thereby creating a new mood that’s nevertheless connected, a progression from the mood of Hla Yin’s verse.) Write a 2-line ‘love’ verse. Several, if you feel to. It’s not about being clever, it’s about dreaming up what comes next (keeping in mind there’s to be another ‘love verse’ on the horizon)

  46. Thanks again for a great choice, Lorin….a joy to read your poetry, Hia.

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    their first meeeting
    he helps her
    out of the broken elevator

    1. Madeleine, try to focus on the verse you’re creating before you post it. Look at this latest one again:

      their first meeeting
      he helps her
      out of the broken elevator

      (never mind the triple e in ‘meeting’, anyone can make that mistake.)
      But do note that you have a cut between “meeting” and “he helps…”. You could overcome this by beginning with “at”:

      at their first meeting
      he helps her
      out of the broken elevator
      .
      That doesn’t make it a great verse, but at least it’s a renku verse and not a senryu.
      —
      Also, please note that you have posted 29 comments and verses to date. Many more comment posts than your verse posts, too. I would appreciate it if you posted less comments on and opinions about others’ verses. I haven’t deputized you as “class monitor” or interpreter and some of your comments may lead others astray, cause some to drop out, incite others to argue or post raucous comments and even put off people who are reading our posts and considering joining us in this renku.

      1. I understand. I would never want to lead any one astray or cause anyone to drop out…or any of the above.

  47. Thank you so much Ms. Lorin, I am so honoured to be here learning more about Renku, among the vibrant Renku-ists, in addition to your valuable reminders on what keep in mind, hello everyone…

    winter moon
    dripping from
    the empty tent

    Fatma Zohra Habis

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    Hla Yin Mon

    reading the leaves
    the twirl of their fingers
    at first touch

    Hla Yin Mon

    1. Congratulations, Hla Yin. Your “cup of tea” verse is perfect for the spot.
      Considering that our renku has only 12 verses and this renku is open to All, I’m accepting one verse
      only from any particular contributor .
      Just making sure you (and others) understand that.

      1. Thank you Ms. Lorin, I am still new to the rules, so I am always most grateful for your kind information, I will keep in mind, to avoid participating after a verse has been chosen. Seasons Greetings and Happy Holidays♥!

        2. Ah, Hia Yin, you’re welcome to write verses to any of the verses that are current at the time. There’s nothing wrong with that and it can help others. It’s just that I intend, each week. to accept a verse from someone who has not previously had a verse accepted.
          (If these verses are up to standard of course)
          Do keep posting verses as long as you like, but understand that, as far as possible, I’ll prioritize selecting a verse by someone who has not yet had a verse accepted. But if a verse by someone who has had a previous verse accepted is outstandingly the best verse for the slot (in my view) then I might choose that verse.

  48. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    stirred by his sweet nothings
    to the very depth
    of her soul
    *

  49. Hia Yin Mon your tea verse is so inviting—so appropriate. Thank you Lorin for your exellent choice to send the Musical Chairs Renku on a forward journey

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer Hia Yin Mon

    In the heat
    of passion
    they sing in unison

  51. winter moon
    dripping from
    the shelter tent

    – Fatma Zohra Habis

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer  

    – Hla Yin Mon

     
    always seeing
    the stars in her eyes
    in the stars

  52. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    Hia Yin Mon

    *a redo (…work in progress)

    unwittingly taking
    his first vegan date
    to a steakhouse

  53. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    Hia Yin Mon

    she thought
    she would never fall in love
    except for an Irish John Wayne

    he unwittingly takes
    his first date
    a vegan for a hamburger

  54. Congratulations Hla! Well done!!!

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    my first time
    your breath along the edges
    of my ear

    Diana Ming Jeong

    1. Diana, the content of your verse here is fine, but here’s the big BUT : there is a break after Line 1, which makes the verse like a haiku/ senryu or hokku.
      This is a thing for everyone to watch out for when posting a 3-line verse. Remember, only the hokku has a cut/break.

      1. Thank you Lorin!!! 😊

        a warm cup of tea
        for the newcomer

        – Hla Yin Mon

        the first time
        your mouth touches
        me

        Diana Ming Jeong

  55. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    ready
    with a love potion
    just in case
    *
    dreaming of you
    with everything
    I do
    *
    the first meet cute
    of every day
    for the rest of our lives
    *

  56. 5
    winter moon
    dripping from
    the shelter tent
    6
    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    7
    don’t you think
    she just fancies him
    a little bit ?

    looking round
    at that wonderful girl
    in the corner

    steam rises
    between two pairs
    of sparkling eyes

  57. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    neither
    has ever met
    a stranger

    he asks her
    for a little more
    sugar

    pleasantries
    turn into badinage
    then innuendo

    drinks cool
    as bare skin
    heats up

  58. a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    exchanging keys
    my heart wide
    to another adventure

    already knowing
    how to frame our love
    the apple orchard

    Joanna Ashwell

    1. Joanna, your 2nd verse clearly has a break/cut between L2 (… love) and L3 (the apple orchard)
      In renku, only the hokku has a break/ cut.

  59. Congratulations Hla Yin! And thanks, Lorin, for another wonderful selection.
    *
    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer
    *
    Hla Yin Mon
    *
    swallowing inhibitions
    just to offer her
    my name
    *
    swallowing my pride
    to offer her
    everything
    *

  60. leaves
    fall
    into Shen Nung’s boiled water

    her mother
    sends her off
    to tea ceremony school

    after the treatment
    they decide to drink
    medicinal tea

    there’s not a house
    on the street
    the welcome wagon hasn’t visited

    the weather there
    is almost always
    balmy

    1. Madeleine, this verse is supposed to be a ‘love’ verse. None of these could be considered to be ‘love ‘ verses. They’re ‘no season’, so that’s good, but they also need to be ‘love’ verses. Think before you post! Writing your verses on a slip of paper and checking them before posting might be a good idea.

      1. Thanks, Lorin…I realized after posting when I read our fellow poets’ verses (and after reading your last paragraph) that it was supposed to be love verses…a good idea about writing it on paper. I will be more careful in the future and give my verses a couple of look overs before I post next time.

  61. Congratulations Hla Yin Mon!

    Smiley faces re comments about Venus. Yes its cold out there in space. Mild here in the UK currently. We even had blue sky earlier. Almost tropical!

    1. That’s good then for you. It was too hot here where I am, both on Christmas Day & Boxing Day. It reached 42 degrees and seemed to stay there. Today is much cooler, but with a weird sky. East : dark grey sky, looming clouds & West a bright blue sky. The BOM predicts a maximum high of 22 degrees and those tree-felling winds blustering around. Right now, it’s not windy.

  62. Congratulations, Hla Yin! A perfect selection, Lorin!

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer

    – Hla Yin Mon

    reaching out
    he can’t help but see
    her décolletage

    thirsty for more
    they cuddle together
    in the dark

  63. Congratulations Hia Yin! A wonderful and delightful verse to enjoy at our halfway point. Lorin, again you have chosen a poem that works so perfectly with the fabric of our renku…the short list poems add even more richness to our weekly experience. As always it’s a pleasure to read the poems as they come along to this post…I speak for all when I say what an inspiring job you are doing in leading our renku.

    2. and let’s add another fine quality to our sabaki—
      patience, on display all over this week’s offerings.

      1. yes, i agree, rob….lorin’s more gentle and patient handling of issues
        makes for a more positive experience here.

  64. Congratulations Hla Yin Mon and Lorin on a seamless transition, full of warmth and simple joy.

    winter moon
    dripping from
    the shelter tent

    – Fatma Zohra Habis

    a warm cup of tea
    for the newcomer  

    – Hla Yin Mon

    the steamy outline
    of two handprints

        1. Thank you Madeleine;)

          maybe trickling is too close to dripping…

          the sudden outline
          of two handprints
          on steamy glass

          the suddenness
          of two handprints
          on steamy glass

          2. ah, you got it (trickling/ dripping = uchikoshi) while I was making coffee and doing other things, so I missed this.

      2. Unfortunately, Orense, anything “trickling down” is too close to something “dripping”, especially when “dripping” is in the last-but-one verse. A case of “uchikoshi”, return to last-but-one:

        winter moon
        dripping from
        the shelter tent – Fatma Zohra Habis
        ***
        the steamy outline
        of two handprints
        trickling down – Orense

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