The Renku Sessions: 12 Tones – Musical Chairs, Week 5
Welcome to THF’s Renku Sessions. I’m Lorin Ford, acting as sabaki/ guide for this renku.
*****
The 4th verse: moving on
Musical Chairs – a Junicho Renku
musical chairs
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
a road sign
points in the direction
of the Monument
– John Daleiden
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
Curt Linderman’s four-word, ‘sketch from life’ verse is both unexpected and delightful. Though there were several good contenders, I found myself coming back to Curt’s verse over and over. The juxtaposition of the plaintive whines and whinges of tired, small children against the aura of grandeur associated with ‘the Monument’ feels just right for this position in our renku. It carries its own humour.
Many of us, when driving long distances with children, will have experienced the whining from the back seat, typically repeated and repeated: “Are we there yet?” ‘There’ might be anywhere the family is heading towards: a famous monument, an important event, the home of cousins in another state, the promised beach . . . It doesn’t matter where ‘there’ might be: all that matters to the kids is that they’re tired of waiting to be there. It seems to them that the journey could take forever. That pathetic whine, “Are we there yet?”, repeated, can drive adults crazy.
I also appreciate the layout of this verse, with ‘there’ at the beginning of line two capturing the emphasis in a natural way.
—
Our fifth verse will be a 3-line verse (without a cut) on the topic of the winter moon, which will fit well, I imagine, with the current season for most in the Northern hemisphere. Your verses should link to Curt Linderman’s verse but avoid reference to monuments of any kind. Also, avoid flowers or blossoms in this verse. There will be a place for flowers/blossoms later on in this renku.
Our kiyose (Japanese dictionary of seasonal words) will come into play again, this time in the winter section. http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html#WINTER
Happy wintering!
The submission deadlines will be Sundays, midnight eastern US time.
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
Comments (187)
Comments are closed.

I’m new to this site. Why do so many people have multiple haiku links? Thought we were supposed to propose one 3-line link for the renku. Thanks
Hello, Kathleen, welcome to the Renku session.
You can post as many verses as you’d like to. Our sabaki/leader, Lorin, will choose just the one from the verses we enter.
Thursday, Lorin will post the one most suitable for the link. Once again, read her requirements for the next verse, and off we go, post away, Kathleen, have fun.
Carol
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
a straw hat
replacing the fleece
tipped to the snow
Joanna Ashwell
the same cold moon
atop grandpa’s cypress
circles our hot chocolates
the same cool moon
atop grandpa’s cypress
circles our hot chocolates
Hot chocolates sound delicious, Wendy!
are we
there yet?
–Curt Linnderman
winter moon
cheers to all
and good night!
Yes, goodnight & good luck for you lot and qa not so good afternoon on a ridiculously hot Monday afternoon for me. I’m hosing myself down every 15 minutes or so.
Thanks, Lorin…I’m sorry to hear how hot it is over there. Hope it cools down for you, soon…Good luck to all, too! It’s been fun :)
are we
there yet?
curt linderman
slowly forming ice
stills
a cold crescent moon
climbing bonfire
licks the cold belly
of a laughing moon
under a sinking moon
bundled fishermen
shuck four hundred oysters
are we
there yet…
finally together
mother and child moon-watching
under the quilt
Explanation: This is an edit to remove romance per guidance
finally together
moon-watching
under the quilt
tiger mom’s stare
matches the brilliance
of the cold moon
Diana Ming Jeong
are we
there yet? –Curt Linnderman
in winter moonlight
Santa’s sleigh flies
from roof to roof
winter moon
lights our walk to Gramma’s house
on Christmas Eve
in winter moonlight
Santa arrives with a pack
of gifts for all
new year moon
glittering in the snow
of the polders
two bear cubs
sliding down the ice
in moonlight
a kitten bats
the winter moon
in the window
the moonrise
over a snowy field
grants a moment’s peace
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
the winter moon
at a quarter
past snow
oops should read
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
this winter moon
at a quarter
past snow
underfoot
frost sparkles
in the moonlight
breath visible
our way lit by
the winter moon
admiring
the moon
we see a shooting star
a moonbeam
on the duvet
letting the kids rest
the last
supermoon sheds light
on the map
winter trees
silhouetted
by the moon
moon rise
downing pints
at the pub
reading about
the moon landings
by the fire
the inn keeper’s
face
pale as the moon
the man in the moon
watches as we rub
our aching feet
the moon reflects
in the outhouse
window
over dinner
light dances in her
crescent moon earrings
bed bugs
scurry away from a
sliver of moonlight
mooning over
his ex she walks off
into the night
under a full moon
they run
to the diner
along the path
silver birch
reflect the moon’s rays
ancient holloway
the only light
from the winter moon
shadows dance
on the stone circle
beneath the winter moon
the cold moon
ripples
in her coffee
in the rear view
she catches a glimpse
of the winter moon
wassailing
the trees
below an indifferent moon
in the
icicles
multiple moons
There are 21 or 22 verses here, Melissa! Well, at least you’ve been kind enough to put them together in the one post.
Don’t know if I’m a bit late with this one –
winter’s moon
leaves behind
a twilight glow
the winter moon
goes beyond
a castle’s walls
No, Carol, you’re not too late. I’m following John Stevenson’s call to keep entries open until 12 midnight US EST: “The submission deadlines will be Sundays, midnight eastern US time.”
Right now in US EST it’s:
3:45 pm
Sunday, 15 December 2024 (GMT-5)
Time in Washington, DC, USA
Submissions are open for several hours, yet.
Thanks, Lorin.
are we
there yet?
in between storms
the Gemini full moon
lights up the town
not the first
to be born
under a winter moon
phallic-shaped rockets
closer and closer
to the winter moon
are we
there yet
winter stories
by the silvery light
of the moon
by winter moonlight
the White Witch offers him
Turkish Delight
oblivious
to the winter moon, our children
snug as bugs
the winter moon
snagged
by a blackthorn
asleep
on the back seat
the cold moon in the glass
A short, but sweet verse from Curt…
are we
there yet
how softly
the winter moon comes to rest
on their little beds
silhouetted against
the winter moon
Santa in his sleigh
by winter moonlight
faces at the window
look out for reindeer
the frozen fountain
in the midnight garden
found by moonlight
at the inn
relief from the
withering wind
above the ski lift
a winter day moon
appears to melt
*
draft dodgers
propped against doors
can’t stop the cold moon
are we
there yet? –Curt Linnderman
at a church garden
the Virgin Mary statue
in winter moonlight
cat lies down
in the winter moonlight patch
cast through windows
are we
there yet?——Curt Linderman
the ice fisherman’s hook
pierces the limb
of a winter moonglade
Ah, John, this is a well-done verse but your “road” very clearly leads back to the last-but-one verse:
a road sign
points in the direction
of the Monument (– John Daleiden)
Call it kannonbiraki or call it reversion, it’s taboo. It doesn’t matter that it’s specifically an ice road : it’s still a road.
Sorry, John (Hawkhead) I thought I was replying to your post at the bottom of this long page.page:
walking the ice road
under the quicksilver light
of the winter moon
are we
there yet?——Curt Linderman
a icy moonglade
floats above
the sunken ship
repost with correction:
are we
there yet?——Curt Linderman
an icy moonglade
floats above
the sunken ship
A new term for me, Wendy. Thanks! Others may be interested, too:
Etymology
From moon + glade.
Noun
moonglade (plural moonglades)
(poetic, rare) The bright reflection of moonlight on a body of water
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/moonglade
Lorin,
and i too…learn so much from you as well as all the contributor’s here.
enjoy it….and keep c o o l!
are we
there yet?…….Curt Linderman
just over my shoulder
this Xmas drone
mistaken for the cold moon
are we
there yet?…….Curt Linderman
this Xmas drone
over my shoulder
mistook for the cold moon
winter’s moon
trailing gold
over the silver sea
…
only the winter moon
sees what’s in
the empty room
…
winter moon’s
a golden coin
lying on a silver pond
Pauline, your middle verse above . . . very spooky!
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
pulling
our hats down
as the withering wind bites
But, Melissa, the topic is the winter moon and there is no sign of any moon in your verse (above).
Do post a new verse, starring the winter moon.
are we
there yet?
curt linderman
cold moon
over my
cold shoulder
Rob, your verse is so lovely and lighthearted!
thanks madeleine!
Your welcome, Rob!
Wonderful!
rob,
cute and curt!
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
last snow fight
children leaving
winter moon
last snow fight
children leaving
the winter moon
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
oak moon
the squirrel
makes eye contact
It’s getting colder around here… I saw a squirrel scurrying past my window yesterday.
Madeleine, have you noticed that both of your verses here have a cut between Line 1 and line 2?
last snow fight
children leaving
the winter moon
oak moon
the squirrel
makes eye contact
(The hokku is the only verse that has a cut.)
Thanks, Lorin…just saw your note :)
This is what I have so far:
children leaving
winter moon
after the snow fight
beneath
the oak moon
the squirrel makes eye contact
the squirrel
and oak moon
making eye contact
hilarious :)
Thanks, Orense:)
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
*
the cold moon joins us
in the countdown
to Christmas
*
only the cold moon
follows up
with Laica
*
I love “…the cold moon joins us…” Laurie.:)
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
between moon
and mountain
an inch of snow
This is beautiful, Orense.
I second Madeleine, Orense!
Thank you Madeleine and Pamela:)
unseen junk
collecting in the craters
of the winter moon
moonrise
above the powdered snows of
Popocatépetl
a condor glides
across the snow-capped mountains
to the moon
the wolf moon
howls inside
a hopeless drunk
or, if wolf moon is ruled out, then:
the cold moon
howls inside
a hopeless drunk
‘Wolf Moon’ is not ruled out, Harrison. . But, hey, we haven’t had Christmas, yet!
(And there is no such thing as a hopeless drunk. Believe me, I am a publican’s daughter and know a thing or two,)
okay, helpless drunk then!
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
always
winter moon reminds
grandpa gave me a jacket
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
••
today
cleaning the house
my husband calm as the cold moon
••
children
improving their footprints on the carpet
quiet as the cold moon
•••
as quiet as the cold moon
he returned home
and slept
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
migrants
never at home
under the cold moon
*
a family of migrants
forever estranged
by the cold moon
*
a family of migrants
forever estranged
under a cold moon
*
the winter moon
becomes a home
away from home
*
Love the last one!
are we
there yet? –Curt Linnderman
at the mountain ranch
winter moonlight glistens
on new snow
are we
there yet? ——Curt Linderman
bundled up
the winter moon takes
awhile to arrive
winter moon
takes
awhile
winter moon
running a little
behind
winter moon
a little
behind
winter
moon
delay
winter moon
tangled up
in branches
winter moon
hung up
behind mountain peak
cold moon
caught peeking
through curtain opening
or
cold moon
caught peeking
through open curtain
a cold moon
caught peeking
through open curtains
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
wild ducks paddle sideways
to keep the winter moon
within sight
*
the giggle of wild ducks
as the winter moon
tickles their feet
*
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
Epiphany moon
through the pines
gold and spices
Epiphany moon
through the pines
with gold and spices
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
the dim
and silent light
of a cold moon
no tears
of reply from
a cold moon
the cold moon
a shiny monocle
in darkness
the cold moon
a coin flipped toward
the stars
in shocked
speechlessness
the cold moon
good one curt!
thank you lorin, great pick!
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
Magi hear no mention
of a cold moon
at Herod’s Palace
Good one!
re we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
a sip of cold water
from the winter moon
hits the spot
*
are we
there yet?
— Curt Linderman
a moonless night
placing a star
for all to see
Joanna Ashwell
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
a Christmas pageant
followed closely
by the cold moon
*
the cold moon
takes its place
in the Christmas pageant
*
the winter moon
tops the stars
in the Christmas pageant
*
the winter moon
rivals the stars
of the Christmas pageant
*
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
the cold moon
spreads its welcome mat
for the long winter night
*
the cold moon’s drone
makes for a long
winter night
*
the moon’s long drone
on a cold
winter night
*
settling in
with the moon
for a long winter’s nap
*
shoveling snow
off the walk
by the light of the moon
are we
there yet?………. Curt Linderman
the shush
of winter moon
over chimney pipes
lovely whimsical image
wendy, perfectly written
that warms me up, thanks so much…rob!
or
the shush
of winter’s moon
over chimney pipes
winter moon
soothes the miasma
of the mind
Carol, this one seems to need an article before “winter…” but of course that would overload the verse with 3 articles. Perhaps the possessive :
winter’s moon
soothes the miasma
of the mind
?
Thanks for the revision, Lorin. I’ve been told about the lack of using articles, when on haiku courses.
I like the way you have written the first line and will keep this in err, my mind.
Thanks again :)
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
rolling on
the sleepy children befriend
winter moon
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
children holding
their shamash high
in the moonlight
families cross
the prairie under
a winter moon
moonlit snow
on carolers walking
house to house
with a loud voice
the littlest Wise Man
on a moonlit stage
on a moonlit night
through the woods
to grandma’s
are we
there yet? -Curt s
winter moonlight
streams through her frosty
bedroom windows
ah, John – excellent verse but we’re not up to love verses yet. Not even up to “hint of love” verses, which is a pity, because this would be an ideal introduction to love verses in any renku.. Stay tuned though, because there will be love verses . Just not yet, and not in winter.
awed
into silence
by the winter moon
Aw yes! This one takes the cake!
I agree with you Diana on Debbie’s verse…it’s beautiful!
Thank you, Diana and Madeleine! So kind!
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
winter
day moon
(is) almost there
winter day
moon
almost there
winter
day moon
almost there
the winter
day moon
is almost there
I love “winter day moon…”, Wendy!
REPLACING:
because i made the uchikoshi mistake and broke renku rules;
please remove from consideration for verse five
these unfortunately, unfit candidates and replace them with the replacing verses:
the drone
of back tires
silences a snow moon
replace this with:
the drone
of the snow blower
silenced by a cold moon
*
the tug fit
of snow tire chains
on an SUV
replaced by:
the tug
of a snow moon luring
my face to look back
*
the snow moon
and forgotten chains
for the back tires
replaced by:
i put on ear muffs
in the sight
of a snow moon
*
the drone
of back tires spinning
deep into snow
replaced by:
the drone of breaking news
silenced by the glow
of a winter moon
*
the sleepy silence
of a snow
covered village
replaced by:
the sleepy silence
of a village
lit by a cold moon
or
the sleepy silence
of a village
lit by a winter moon
*
the buzz
of chain saws
on frozen branches
replaced by:
the buzz
of evening news
outshined by cold moon
*
the tug fit
of snow tire chains
on a SUV
replaced by:
last year’s lost mittens
found in the light
of the cold moon
*
Congratulations Curt!!! Thank you Lorin! I look forward to this each week!
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
finding solace
in the winter mountains
with King Moonracer
Diana Ming Jeong
Oh I like this, Diana,
Ah, Diana, it’s a nice verse but King Moonracer is not the moon. The verse for this spot is to be a moon verse, that means the actual moon (Earth’s actual moon)
Do try again, but ensure your moon verses allude to Earth’s actual moon, in winter.
Thank you, Lorin! I’ll try again.
love shines
in the winter
moon
love finds love
under the winter
moon
winter moon
matching toys
to children
racing
the winter moon
children and toys
Diana Ming Jeong
Thank you Curt and Lorin for such a lovely link. Wonderful that we are writing from the winter season!
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
to town
under a jolly moon
in a one horse open sleigh
viewing santa
and his reindeer
under the soft white moon
santa and elves
finish up
under a winter moon
santa
and his elves wait
for their whispered wishes
on a sleigh ride
to see santa and the elves
through the misty moon
Reading your note below Lorin…I guess one horse open sleighs are out as well. :)
Interesting question, Madeleine. I don’t think “one horse open sleighs” are necessarily out of the question. That’s because sleighs aren’t motor vehicles and they’re probably on sleigh runs or in fun parks rather than on any road. Or flying over rooftops and dropping gifts down chimneys.
Ah,but chimneys are less and less, this century, aren’t they.
Thanks, Lorin…they certainly are! :)
are we
there yet?
— Curt Linderman
my grandson asks
‘is Grammie there
on this winter moon?’
This verse is beautiful as it is poignant, Pamela.
Thank you Madeleine! Means a lot!
Your welcome, dear Pamela:)
my grandson asks
is Grammie on
the winter moon?
my grandson asks me
is the winter moon warm enough
for Grammie?
Beautiful and so poignant!
. . . but if it’s your grandson, Pamela, wouldn’t you be Grammie? I’m puzzled.
My son-in-law’s mother was Grammie. I became Grandma. My grandsons were little itty bits when their precious Grammie died.
I suppose each verse could be changed:
grandson asked
is the winter moon warm enough
for Grammie?
grandson asks
is the winter moon warm enough for Grammie?
grandson asks
“is the winter moon warm enough for Grammie?”
oops.
sorry for mistakes. meant to be 3 lines and present tense. no idea if better with or without quotes.
grandson asks
is winter moon warm enough
for Grammie?
grandson asks
is Grammie there
on this winter moon?
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
cold moon
huddling with
the sparrows
This is very lovely, Orense.
Thank you Madeleine :)
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
winter moon
playing hide and seek
in the clouds
So darling, Pamela.
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
an avalanche
of moon light
on the snow
Wonderful, Orense!
Thank you Madeleine, thrilled you thought so:)
Your welcome, Orense!
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
an avalanche
of moon
light on the snow
are we
there yet?——– Curt Linderman
even the cold moon
can be seen
wearing ear muffs
Adorable, Wendy!
I agree with Pamela, Wendy. Sooo cute! (I love the other two versions, as well:)
withering wind
making room
for the moon
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
withering wind
making way
for the moon
withering wind
clearing the way
for the moon
the North wind
unearths
a snowed-in moon
oops for the moon
winter fly
round and round the moon
in a teacup
That’s better. :-) I’m pleased you’ve recognised that, earlier you overlooked the moon.
whoopsie :)
winter fly
round and round the moon
in a teacup
– Orence
I like this, Orence. It may not be going back or forward, but it does have a certain monotony of a journey that an adult or child wants to end.
are we
there yet?——– Curt Linderman
even
the winter moon
wears ear muffs
even
the cold moon
wears ear muffs
are we
there yet?——– Curt Linderman
the silent anticipation
of a bedbug on a
moonless night
and another version:
are we
there yet?——– Curt Linderman
the silent anticipation
of a bedbug bite
on a moonless evening
Lol, Wendy for both…brought a chuckle!
are we
there yet?——– Curt Linderman
the drone
of back tires
silences a snow moon
the sleepy silence
of a snow moon
covered village
the buzz
of chain saws between
moonlit branches
the tug fit
of tire chains
on a moonlit SUV
Just a hint ( to you here, Wendy, but really to ALL. ) The direction of a renku is always forward, so always look back to the last-but-one to check that your current verse doesn’t refer to the last-but-one verse. (The terms uchikoshi and kannonbiraki refer to the dreaded ‘return to the last-but-one’ verse. )
We have a road sign in verse 3. Anything associated closely to roads in verse 4 is fine, that’s a link. But anything associated with roads in verse 5 (this current verse) is uchikoshi. So tyre chains, SUVs,
back tyres … & limousines, busses, motor bikes , windscreen wipers etc. are out.
Oh right! Thanks for pointing this out to me, Lorin.
Curious and may be confused, Lorin, then, in similar fashion, does it also follow, that the uchikoshi rule possibly apply here?
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
a road sign
points in the direction
of the Monument
– John Daleiden
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
where it concerns the “chats up” in Clysta’s verse and the verbal question in Curt’s verse?
Kindly and respectively, please explain to me Lorin
if there is some exception i am not seeing here…in this example?
Please note, i am not trying to criticize….just want to learn, and have you clarify my confusion….or misconception of renku rules.
Hi Wendy,
I’ll leave the real answer to Lorin. I intended this definition:
Verb: chat up
Usage: informal
Talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions • The guys always try to chat up the new secretaries
= coquet, dally, flirt, mash, philander, romance
~ speak, talk
⇒ vamp, wanton
thus setting a different mood/purpose from Curt’s ponted question.
Good question from you. I look forward to Lorin’s reply.
Clysta re: ‘…..thus setting a different mood/purpose from Curt’s ponted question.
Good question from you. I look forward to Lorin’s reply.’
so, you think it may be a matter of degree?
something approaching “talk-lite” vs “serious question”?
i find that view interesting!
Now, If i am playing the devil’s advocate….in this discussion….
an use an example of dance….
you say when children dancing around the mulberry bush is allowed, along with a serious master ballet dancer dancing The Swan Lake Ballet, because of a difference of mood/or purpose/intention ?
is the winter moon
a little
pregnant tonight
And the devil will argue that dance is dance and talk is talk.
I don’t know “the real answer” Clysta, but yes, I agree that the lingo of “chat up” implies a very different kind of vocalization than the frustrated or desparate whine of “are we/ there yet” (with the emphasis on the word “there”)
yes, Clysta, we both wait for Lorin to answer….
and your definitions, are similar to the one’s i remember looking up when you first posted your verse….as i was not completely clear about the usage of this phrase.
most of what i found had the basis of ‘talk’ in it,
and since we are not yet into the love verses….things such as non-verbal seductions….such as winks, etc. towards flirting advances i believe
are not a consideration here….
Clysta, i too, am waiting to hear clarification from Lorin.
This is not to squash the wonderful verse and how fitting it is a
link…that Curt has written….which i love, love, love!
The “the uchikoshi rule ” applies to all of the verses, Wendy. (except verse 1, obviously). .
The idea is to link to the immediately previous verse and be sure not to link to the verse before the previous verse. It’s how we endeavor to keep a renku flowing forward, rather than getting stuck.
I’m not sure quite what it is you mean by “(does – implied ) the uchikoshi rule possibly apply here? ” (Here being: “where it concerns the “chats up” in Clysta’s verse and the verbal question in Curt’s verse?” This is only my interpretation of your words.)
All I can make of it is : are you perhaps implying, Wendy, something like this: 1. In Clysta’s verse we observe that someone “chats up” a scarecrow and 2. in Curt’s verse there is direct speech: “are we there yet?”. Does the question “are we there yet?” in verse 4 take the reader back to Clysta’s “chatting up…” in verse 2, thereby committing the sin of uchikoshi?
Does it take you back to Crysta’s verse, Wendy?
Well, there may be different opinions on the subject, but to me it doesn’t. To claim an instance of ‘uchikoshi’ between an image of an adult observed by a 3rd party to be “chatting up” a scarecrow and the image of a child or children voicing his/her/ their boredom and frustration in relation to a long road trip seems to me to be a tad too forensic.
The main idea is to keep the renku moving forward. So, does the childish whine “are we/ there yet?” take you (as reader) back to “the last one standing chats up the scarecrow?”.
All I can say is that it doesn’t take me back.
Just a reminder of our times, perhaps useful for all of us who don’t believe in the flat earth theory.
For me, today is Friday the 13th of December & right now the time is 5:54pm. That’s AEST. I know that for many of you in the USA, your time is EST (as it is with John Stevenson) If we know we’re in different time zones it’s fine. Everyone can relax a little.
Now I go to feed the cat, water the beans and then cook my dinner. And I’ll return to have a look at newer verses tomorrow.
thank you Lorin, for getting back to me on this.
So it doesn’t revolve around the word/topic of “talk” or “verbiage” is only matters on the image it brings and if it moves you forward and not backwards!
This is soooo cool! Thank you, thank you, thank you for
stating it so clearly for me. Lorin, this was truly helpful for me.
And Clysta, i see now where you were coming from.
Sharing with me, and shining the way.
Mangione moon
on a last second u-turn
to avoid Penn State
Congrats Curt! a wonderfully, relatable verse.
Lorin….a delightful verse pick for our renku.
are we
there yet?——– Curt Linderman
the drone
of back tires spinning
deep into snow
the sleepy silence
of a snow
covered village
the buzz
of chain saws
on frozen branches
the tug fit
of snow tire chains
on a SUV
ooops…..forgot the moon!
the snow moon
and forgotten chains
for the back tires
correction: (though on a moonless poem)
are we
there yet?——– Curt Linderman
the tug fit
of snow tire chains
on an SUV
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
the winter moon
puts its finishing touch
on her quilt
*
her dreams muffled deep
in the quilt
and the winter moon
*
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
winter fly
round and round
the teacup
Love this one Orense!
Thank you Pamela :)
Love or not love, Orense and Pamela , this needs to be a winter moon verse. Orense, you do need to mention the moon and establish that the verse is a winter verse. Try again.
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
winter moon dripping from the shelter tent
Fatma, be sure to check the guidelines (above) before you post. In this case, “Our fifth verse will be a 3-line verse (without a cut) on the topic of the winter moon ”
You’ve posted a one line verse. The call is for a 3-line verse this time. (also, we won’t have any one-liners in this renku.)
Do post again, when you’ve composed a 3-line verse as outlined in the guidelines.
A wonderful addition, Lorin and Curt. Congratulations!
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
with a gust of wind
snowflakes falling
for a second time
And I love this one too, Orense
Thank you, So glad you liked them both:)
But where is the moon, Orense? This verse is meant to be the all-important moon verse. The moon has to be in this verse spot.
Try again!
I love the brevity of this one–it’s a slice from everyone’s life. Nicely done, curt, and well chosen (as always!, Lorin).
**
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
*
no question
that this moon
is the winter moon
*
a cold moon
always
on the horizon
*
the promise of snow
lies with the cold moon
on the horizon
*
i
Congratulations, Curt and Lorin! Love it!
Wonderful! Curt and Lorin!
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
the afterimage
of winter moon
inside young eyes
the afterimage
of winter moon
at every turn
There is nothing in 1-3 to suggest this must be the voices of children : it could, for instance, be those of all the participants in the renga. Therefore v4 should establish that these are the voices of children (in the back seat).
4
are we
there yet?
5
an intermittent moon
highlights child protest
from the back seat
moonlight and fresh air
and a distribution of sweets
calms fretful children
the children’s march
is delightfully deranged
by flickering moonlight
It’s 7:22 am, Friday the 13th of December in my part of the planet.
Though it’s a fact that the speaker of “are we there yet?” might be by anyone of any age, the words have become a meme. There is a book, https://www.penguin.com.au/books/are-we-there-yet-9780670880676 and probably more.
To my mind, establishing a precedent is one possibility, Dick.
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
the kids say ‘night
joking, don’t let
the bed bugs bite
Well done Curt, your verse made me smile with its humour.
Many thanks, Lorin! It’s such a joy to read and also learn from everyone’s responses and the subsequent commentaries.
Congratulations, Curt! You so succinctly captured an entire story. 👏👏👏
Eavonka! Thank you for your kind words. So nice to hear from you, sending you all my best.
A fun choice Lorin and an evocative verse Curt. I’d love to read a short story based on the first memory that comes to mind with those four words.
At least two children’s books have been published with “Are We There Yet?” as the title, as well as several online stories from various sources. For example, here’s a flash fiction story:
https://www.tallandtrue.com.au/fiction/short-stories/are-we-there-yet
thanks, Richard.
A verse understood and felt by many, well done Curt. A great choice, Lorin.
Congratulations, Curt! A great choice, Lorin!
are we
there yet?
– Curt Linderman
a winter moon
shining on the just
and the unjust
winter moonlight
resting on the children’s
sleeping faces
in wintertime
the same face
on the moon
the silence
of the moon
in winter
tires rolling
on the long road
lit by moonlight
A revision to the last candidate link:
tires rolling on
the long wintry road
lit by moonlight
Congratulations Curt! Thank you Lorin! A light and humorous verse to continue our renku.:) Thank you for the delightful read at the top!
are we
there yet?
Curt Linderman
walking the ice road
under the quicksilver light
of the winter moon