The Renku Sessions: 12 Tones – Musical Chairs, Week 3
Welcome to THF’s Renku Sessions. I’m Lorin Ford, acting as sabaki/ guide for this renku.
*****
The wakiku joins the hokku, completing the first section of our renku.
Musical Chairs – a Junicho Renku
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
I’m happy to say that many of the offered verses linked well, in one way or another, to our hokku. Clysta’s wakiku, like several other of the offered verses, uses ‘scarecrow’ as the kigo. What impresses me about this particular verse is the smooth, close linkage of “the one left standing” to “musical chairs”. It’s part of the game that one person will be left standing when all of the chairs are taken. Line 3 ( “chats up the scarecrow” ) brings the unexpected, the shift. The finely balanced combination of pathos and humour in Clysta’s wakiku is excellent.
*
Moving on now to our 3rd verse, the daisan. This is a non-seasonal, 3-lined verse (sometimes called the breakaway verse) It has no cut or break. It must shift completely away from the hokku. However, the daisan does need to have some kind of connection/ link with the wakiku. So – no music, games, furniture, seats, hands, heat or nuts. No eating. Also, no flowers or moons or love: these will come later. Our daisan must have no seasonal reference whatsoever but it will link to the wakiku in some way.
“The function of the daisan is to break away, to open fresh ground…” wrote the late John E. Carley, and “… both sense and syntax of daisan are expected to open outwards. It is both germinal and unfinished, suggestive of multiple possibilities.”
I’m looking forward to reading all of the daisan verse proposals.
Lorin
The submission deadlines will be Sundays, midnight eastern US time.
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
Comments (158)
Comments are closed.

no more space
for new messages
star-filled night
Federico, it’s just that the closing date for submissions each week is Sunday, midnight eastern US time. (EST). I hope you’ll join us for the next verse, in week 4.
Hi Lorin,
I keep missing the deadlines on Sundays! I’ll try again next week! I usually have more time on the weekdays. I’ll see what I can di. I hope you all in USA had a very Happy Thanksgiving Holiday!
– Diana🦃
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
the shark
entangled
in a sea of plastic
viewed from the mountain
desert sands
stretch to the horizon
from her bank lock-box
she selects
two emerald rings
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
Sisiphus rolls his
blade into flaking stone,
mountain full of night
Sisiphus rolling
his flaking stone up the
mountain full of night
Sisiphus rolling
flaking stone up the mountain
full of night
the last two should be on one line. Sorry!
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
.
.
cast aside
with 37 dollars
to drink myself blind
.
drinking
a whole bottle
of pride
.
all too familiar
this story
of a lonely soul
.
somewhere in the garden
a dog
off the leash
.
metrical feet
in turn
along the yellow brick road
Princess k, your verses touch my heart…they’re beautiful and full of depth.
Thanks Madeleine!
Your welcome, Princess k. :)
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
in the lab
a biologist
prepares sample slides
the real estate
agent sets up
a for-sale sign
we roller skate
with abandon
at the rink
a child’s
sponsored silence
ends in an f-bomb
she abandons
her old life
in a luggage locker
Congratulations, Clysta, on your verse.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
–Clysta
she finds
a kitten
in an old boot
.
in the rag bag
old t-shirts
and a mouse nest
at the podium
a minister rehearses
her sermon
at a podium
the minister practices
this week’s sermon
Cancel verses with podium as some might consider that furniture so instead, I offer
an off-the-cuff start
to the minister’s
weekly sermon
Nancy, have you considered:
at the pulpit
a minister practices
this week’s sermon
?
I agree with you that ‘podium’ isn’t right. Though, now I think of it I suppose a pulpit would be classified as furniture, too. Never mind. Keep it for another day.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
the engineer sounds
his whistle
at rail crossing
intently gazing
through his lope
he gasps
the director
yells cut
as the wagons circle
tawny owls hoot
under
a sickle shaped moon
squirrels run
helter skelter
through the trees
the hamster
makes a bed
out of fresh straw
the corn dolly
waves
from her window
at the wheatsheaf
they stop
for a pint
heritage crafts
at the mill
learning to grind flour
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
–Clysta
a rush
of barn swallows
over the neighborhood
I really like it but wouldn’t barn swallows make it a seasonal verse?
Yes, you are right Orense.
Thanks, I am glad you pointed it out…I am learning so much… I also need to be more vigilant:)
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
a partial footprint
by a free plastic bag
on a shifting shore
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
drawing tears with his plea
of not guilty
to murder
*
not murder but a case
of mistaken
identity
*
of mistaken identity
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
— Clysta
*
at the museum
the dinosaur skeleton
towers over all
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
——Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
—-–Clysta
.
high cirri
race over the
mountaintops
.
he raises his right hand
and promises
to walk in beauty
.
the clatter of dishes
merits a single open eye
from the cat
.
Welcome back, Jonathan. These are beautiful.
I have to laugh, Jonathon. This is so true. Yes, all sounds that carry the possibly of food preparation will alert the cat. (Every cat is the cat, of course.)
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
the butcher
carves up a beef carcass
for shoppers
last in the race
Slow Nellie
crosses the finish line
Really love the last one, John.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
(Clysta)
the wind
whistles round
corn ears
a marathon
couple embrace
the microphone
a warrior
takes the shortcut
through a field
an artist
hawking the same
old designs
an old veteran
sits erect at attention
to salute
These are great, Richard.
walking
side by side
they don’t say a word
striding
together
under the storm clouds
skipping
all the way
to school
racing
to the doughnut shop
after church
_
Liking these verses, Maddy….especially the first one.
Thanks Nan, it means alot :)
I love your verses, especially
an off-the-cuff start
to the minister’s
weekly sermon
-Nancy Brady
she finds
a kitten
in an old boot
-Nancy Brady
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
the ocean
explorer plunges
into the depths
in the beauty
parlor she speaks
only Japanese
the last one standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
boyhood memories
of grandma’s
moonshine still
river baptisms
scare away
the devil
A lot more
than he bargained for.
Salt of the earth.
In the mirror, she lets go
of a thousand faces.
Bathroom break.
Holding
a candle
the heart’s vigil.
Hello, Michelle and welcome.
There is only one haiku-like verse is a renku. That is the first verse, the hokku. Like a haiku, a hokku has a ‘cut’ or ‘break. There is only one hokku in any renku. Our hokku for this renku is:
Hello, Michelle. There is only one haiku-like verse is any renku: the first verse, the hokku . Like a haiku, a hokku has a ‘cut’ or ‘break’, like this:
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts (our hokku for this current renku, by Keith Evetts)
Also, don’t use the period/ full stop in any hokku. The norm in EL renku is to use an en or em dash to indicate the break. Some may use an ellipses but that is always up to the sabaki/ guide/ Führer.
I hope this information will be useful to you.
Please ignore my repetitions, above. I’m just awake and got mixed up in the cursed website bar.
Thank you, Lorin. I am rusty. I appreciate your expertise!
a patch of elms
where the forest
once stood
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
pumping iron
puts another day
on his life
*
truly a friend
to the odd-man
out
*
Laurie, your second verse has a sincere depth to it. Very nice, indeed.
Thanks, Carol! I’ve been enjoying yours, too.
Thankyou, Laurie :)
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
down the road
the wind blows
in her hair
wrapping up
the soft feel
of her gloves
headlights twinkle
on their way
home
a wise look
in the horse’s eye
as it chews straw
laughing
as the butter melts
on our corn
Or
a wise look
in the horse’s eye
chewing straw
Melissa, these are great. :)
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
come as you are
before the ku
disappears
talk of ghosts
who haunt
the campgrounds
John, “…before the ku disappears”, makes me smile.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
— Clysta
a choke collar
in the ebb and flow of time
from rival vantage points
a footprint
in a choke collar
heads off a tale
a footprint
in a choke collar
on a sandy shore
a partial footprint
in a choke collar
on a sandy shore
a partial footprint
in a choke collar
on a shifting shore
Hi Pamela, I am so intrigued by “a partial footprint…”, hauntingly beautiful.
So grateful to Renku with you, Madeleine!
Made my day, Pamela…So grateful to renku with you! :)
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow – Clysta
the shadow
of a vulture
overhead
shadows
of castles
in the sand
silent knights
on chessboard patrol
in the park
Dan, these are all beautiful and so inspiring.
I sure do appreciate your comment madeleine!
Thank you, Dan. :)
one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
—-
more than three weeks
imagining
the story
must be smart
good at predicting
what will come
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
whittling
a pointed end
on the fallen twig
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
watching trees
follow the wind
this way and that
patching up
the holes in last year’s
work clothes
seeking sunlight
a tortoise climbs
onto a flat rock
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
I shovel manure
from horse stalls
at the racetrack
my scant Russian
results
in a police response
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
startled grouse
burst out of the covert
with a whirr
seek the lone pine
that marks the start
of the mountain trail
with outstretched arms
we greet the sun
on this new day
the gloved hands
of a man who makes money
from the rag trade
with a wooden look
he suggests
nude forest bathing
:-) Hang on to your “wooden look” verse for some other time, in this or another renku, Harrison. It’s a beaut verse for the right place in a renku.
Thanks Lorin. I’ll try the wooden look when an opportunity comes up.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
she asks
for a slice of pie
at the sandbox
at the sandbox
she asks
for a slice of pie
This is a fun one, the worst place to eat pie :) which creates a subtle connection with the wakiku. Wonderful
Thanks, Orense…it means a lot!
…Congratulations for your beautiful poem appearing in the Monthly Kukai, yesterday!
caws back and forth
protest being called
a murder
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
beneath the pillow
a note too small
to be noticed
only one pillow
now lies
on the bed
Friday nights
are for
pillow fights
his narcissistic
voice
turns heads
Congratulations, Clysta and thanks for leading us on, Lorin!
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
the scent
of fresh bread
fills the house
a road sign
points in the direction
of the Monument
an upright
look back
and we’re off
Love this one, Carol.
Thanks, madeleine, I appreciate your comments.
Your welcome, Carol :)
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
marooned
on a Pacific island
she learns to fish
in the cemetery
a long trench
for virus victims
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
reading the mystery
that doesn’t
need the others
*
perfectly preserved
an old map
of a pilgrim
or maybe-
perfectly preserved
an old route
of the pilgrims
Yes, Carol, glad you caught it. “an old map of a pilgrim” was (shall we say?) a tad startling. :-)
Glad you made a comment on this verse, Lorin, my first effort didn’t sit well after a few readings. When you hi-light things such as this, I learn, and hopefully others do, too.
Hi Carol. Just passing through, I recall that ‘pilgrimage’ is a spring season word in our reference. But maybe this use “of the pilgrims” could be seen as non-seasonal or all-seasons for the sake of the daisan’s specifications?
Ah, right, Keith, thanks for this, something to remember. And I have to admit I didn’t know that ‘pilgrimage’ was a spring seasonal word.
It would be handy to know if the use ‘of the pilgrims’ is non or all seasonal.
Thanks Keith
I’m glad Keith was passing through to remind us we’re using a kiyose. Thanks, Keith!
An interesting question, Carol. There are, of course, various pilgrimages in the world, for instance it is the hope of any Muslim in Indonesia to visit Mecca at least once in his/her lifetime. However, since we are using ‘The 500 Essential Japanese’ as our kiyose here’s my copy & paste from the Spring section:
“pilgrimage (henro, all spring). When many Japanese visit sacred places. The best known involves walking the circumference of the island of Shikoku, visiting 88 temples. ”
I recall that I’ve participated in one of John Stevenson’s renku, in which there is a ‘pilgimage’ verse: ‘Pilgrims Stride’.
https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/renkuarchive/2014_pilgrimsstride.pdf
(Yikes! that was 20 years ago! )
So the mention of pilgrims in this renku, in context of the fact that we’re using a kiyose,
would indicate the season Spring. It would be just as “off” as using “scarecrow” in a no-season verse.
re my : (Yikes! that was 20 years ago! )
Duh! Sunday morning in Australia & I can’t count.
John’s ‘Pilgrims Stride’ renku was 10 years ago, not 20. Still, 10 years is a fair while ago, now.
You are a mine of information, Lorin. Many thanks for your explanation, and the link.
That was the year I ventured into the renku sessions. I tried my hand at a few verses, then as now, I’m still tackling my way through it all :)
What struck me, when I look through the archives is the many names that do not submit entries anymore, the banter was a delight to read and a huge learning curve.
Yes, Carol. I’ve been wondering especially about Betty Shropshire. It seems to me she just disappeared some time during the previous renku than this one. I hope she is ok.
I, too, hope Betty is ok. If I’m not mistaken it was Betty who offered her virtual ‘support pants’ and then I offered them back, laundered, at a time when submissions got a bit heated. I sincerely hope Betty is in a position to dig those pants out.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
sampling
a mystery
from the series
*
again the bike
topples
sideways
*
long after
the first installment’s
been forgotten
*
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
old sweeper monk
enlightened by
the wind
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
again voted
most likely
to succeed
*
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
loosening up
the audience
with another in-law joke
*
catching them unaware
with his first
comedy routine
*
going through the routine
for a laugh
a minute
*
Apologies for misspelling your name Clysta in my previous entries!
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow – Clysta
a mountain range
carves the horizon
with jagged peaks.
a banjo busker
belts out ballads
on the boulevard
a cowboy sings
carols to cattle
in a corral
a beautiful nun
hums Ave Maria
in her sleep
These are great Dan…so much fun to read aloud!
Clysta and Lorin…a marvelous wakiku for our renku journey!
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
spiderman float
floats
above the crowd
~ ~ ~
the marching band
marching
in the rain
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
–clysta
spiderman
floats
above the crowd
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
reach-me-
down a rabbit hole
smile
Really like this one, Orense…can’t help smiling:)
Thank you so much Madeleine I wasn’t sure how it would be recieved as it’s conceptual…:)
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
at noon sharp
wedding bells ambush
the pigeons
No wedding bells in the daisan, Orense.
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
the garden gnome
looking handsome
after a tinder date
Orense, for the daisan, we need some kind of link to the wakiku but also (and important) the shift is necessary . Your verse here is too close to Clysta’s (scarecrow/garden gnome) and also ‘tinder date’ might work in a (so-called) ‘love verse’ but it doesn’t work in this position (daisan) no matter how tongue-in-cheek you intend it to be.
Noted, thank you for the direction. Fortunately I went for more than one theme with my offerings…pheww:)
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
the matchmaker
still working with
binders
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
the sign says
off to see the wizard
for a comeback
off to see
the wizard for
a comeback
Congratulations Clysta and Lorin for a wonderfully smooth addition!
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
– Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
on the fencepost
a hat shaped to fit
a dozen heads
on the fencepost
a hat shaped to fit
any head
Congratulations Clysta – it is the perfect wakiku for Keith’s hokku.
.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
.
– Clysta
getting off
the overnight bus
with stiff knees
Not yet, Biswajit, but keep this one. There may be a place for it later. We’ll have to wait and see.
the last one standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
strangers
on the subway
dispatch feelers
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
on the horizon
mountains
I have never crossed
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
-clysta
lorin’s renku is simply getting better every week
because she is making such fine choices. thank
you lorin for helming.
clysta your verse makes a perfect wakiku.
it is really fine and funny too. like lorin,
and others i’m sure, i sensed the sadness
of rejection in this person left without a chair,
turning to whoever will listen.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
passers by hesitant
to cross
the picket line
*
the next shift
clocks in
still half asleep
*
Laurie, think of the rhythm of the three lines. How would you recite these two verses aloud?
Taking your first:
passers by hesitant
to cross
the picket line
*
I’d have it:
passers-by
hesitant to cross
the picket line
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow – Crysta
waving farewell
in slow motion
from a train station
graffiti screams
from old bricks while
litter fills an alley
virtual nods replace
hugs and memories
are shared only online
Congratulations Crysta, I always enjoy your verses and thank you Lorin!
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow – Crysta
reading pavement cracks
while strumming a banjo
for listeners who never give
Dan, There are too many ‘-ings’ ! Following Crysta’s “standing” you have ‘reading’ and ‘strumming’.
Counting Crysta’s ( in the verse you’re linking to) there is ‘standing’, reading’ & ‘strumming’, all present participles. . . verb plus -ing. It would be best to avoid any present participles at all in your candidate daisan following Crysta’s verse.
Gracias Lorin, this is very helpful
1
musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts
2
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
3
two quare fellows
discuss world affairs
high in the sky
nothing else to do
but make the best of it
old chap
3
I took the hint
so off to the bright lights
and a bit more fun
” two quare fellows ” . . . are you Irish, Dick? The word seems to be Irish for “queer”.
quare
/kwɛː/
adjective
adjective: quare
1.
Irish form of queer (sense 1 of the adjective).
“you’ve done some quare things yourself in your time”
2.
informal•Northern Irish
remarkable; excellent.
“he has a quare voice on him”
Congratulations Clysta..a beautiful wakiku. It works perfectly with Keith’s link. Thank you Lorin for a great choice and for your insight.
vacation tickets
booked over
the phone
It is Thanksgiving Day in the United States today and I am feeling very thankful to Lorin for selecting my verse and thankful to all poets who support and make this place of online learning and sharing valued and hospitable. I am writing this as I depart for family time where I am unable to be online for this next verse. Again, thank you Lorin — your evaluation means much to me. Carry on!
Your wakiku was perfect for the spot, Clysta. Best wishes for a happy Thanksgiving Day.
Clysta, congratulations on your excellent verse 2.
Lorin—a fine choice that moves this Rinku forward.
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow –Clysta
our home gate
swings open
to new adventure
Lorin…this is a perfect choice for our wakiku! Love your commentary, and the clarity of arriving at Clysta’s so fitting verse.
Congrats Clysta for writing this brilliant and humourous verse that links so well to our hokku.
musical chairs_
a handful
of hot chestnuts____Keith Evetts
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow_____Clysta
put on pause
by the talk line’s
robot
BTW: Lorin….L3 needs to be changed to L2(chats up the scarecrow)
“BTW: Lorin….L3 needs to be changed to L2(chats up the scarecrow)” – Wendy
Yes, it should be L2, of course. (I plead “slip of the old arthritic fingers, your Honour)
However, I’m just going to have to live with that mistake and hope everyone will realise it’s a mistake, as you have, Wendy. I’m certainly not going to bother John (who posts the head pages) to correct it.
quite understandable, Lorin.
Congratulations, Clysta! A great wakiku choice, Lorin!
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
(Clysta)
a lineup
of crows looms
on a branch
walkers turn
into runners in
a heavy rain
more questions
than answers after
an earthquake
bloody but
happy after a
free-for-all
on a blind
date at a movie
revival
Congratulations Clysta! I love it! 🐥
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
*
new heroes
on the plinth
of the old
*
Hope “plinth” doesn’t count as furniture!
It can count, Laurie. When in doubt, it’s best to check both Merriam-Webster and Oxford dictionaries.
https://www.oed.com › dictionary › plinth_n
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/plinth
Here you have ‘plinth’ in context of ‘heroes’. My first thought is “war heroes” (though it ain’t necessarily so, could be any sort of heroes). I can’t tell if you intend your words in this verse to be taken literally or figuratively, though of course the link to Clysta’s ( “the one left standing”) is good,
Hi—just thinking about statues and how many old “heroes” have been pulled down for being racists and worse, with new monuments going up in their place.
ah, Laurie, I was musing and googling & making more coffee when you posted this. Yes, I did get your idea of old “heroes” being replaced by the new. It’s the word ‘plinth’, which is a base,
that has had me musing.
Something has been niggling at me about ‘plinth’, though. It’s true that carpenters and builders are using plinths every day, but that’s not what you mean. The issue, I think, is that we can (or I can) get the word ‘plinth’ mixed up with ‘pedestal’.
“What is the difference between a pedestal and a plinth?
A plinth is defined as a flat and planar support which separates the sculpture from the environment. A pedestal, on the other hand, is defined as a shaft-like form that raises the sculpture and separates it from the base.” – Wikipedia
Looks like your plinth is in the clear as long as there’s not a pedestal between plinth and sculpture.
Hmmm . . .
Congratulations, Clysta on a lovely, streamlined verse. Thanks, Lorin for the great selection.
**
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
Clysta
**
their silent exchange
of words
to the wise
*
exchanging more
than words
to the wise
*
translating the kois’
colorful
dialogues
*
glare
from the shine
of wingtip shoes
*
Very nice verses, Laurie, my favorite is “glare from the shine…”
I appreciate your thoughtful verse above, “new heroes…” A lot to ponder…our first president’s statues in some cities being replaced and put away in storage.
Beautiful verse Clysta! Beautiful choice and explanation, Lorin! Beautiful to be creating onward together!
the one left standing
chats up the scarecrow
– Clysta
half the ducks
in the pond
upside-down
Nice!
Thanks Curt! Happy you like it.
I enjoyed this Pamela and will think of your verse often when we see ducks on our daily drives by the Potomac River!
Thank you Dan. It was inspired by my walk around a pond in Elizabeth Park, near my home. Many ducks! Many reflections!!
This is delightful, Pamela.
This verse doesn’t fit the daisan spot, Pamela . . . a case of the rather difficult ‘link and turn’ required of a daisan, so I can’t select it here, but as a verse I like it a lot. Keep it in your pocket, though. You never know, there may come a future verse that it might link to. (May or may not, of course.)
at the crossroad
deciding which way
to turn
An intriguing verse, Carol:).
Congratulations, Clysta, and another good choice, Lorin.