Renku Sessions

The Renku Sessions: 12 Tones – Musical Chairs, Week 2

renku_300

Welcome to THF’s Renku Sessions. I’m Lorin Ford, of Melbourne (Australia),

We have our hokku!

It wasn’t easy to choose just one verse. I managed to whittle the long list down to 23 possible verses. Each one of these was good hokku material, so I was stuck for a while. Finally, I realised that one of Keith Evetts’s submitted verses was perfect for purpose: lively, but not raucous, and open enough to invite the wakiku (two-liner).

 

musical chairs –
a handful
of hot chestnuts  

Keith Evetts

 

Now on to the wakiku, a two-line verse without a break/cut that links to our hokku, above.

Since chestnuts are ‘late autumn’ in our kiyose (season-word guide), the wakiku needs to have an ‘all autumn’ or ‘late autumn’ kigo.

http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html#AUTUMN

 

I look forward to reading all of your wakiku candidates. (Avoid references to politics in the wakiku, please. ) The submission deadline will be Sunday, midnight eastern US time.

 

 

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct

John Stevenson

Comments (218)

  1. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    Keith Evetts
    ***
    a pleasant warming
    of palms in the night chill

  2. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts. –Keith Evetts
    *
    a maybe-wicked witch flies
    her broomstick for Halloween

    2. Very fun, Clysta!

      I missed the deadline of Sunday so I didn’t write anything this time. But I’m looking forward to the next round!

  3. Congratulations Keith! This is wonderful! Your poem makes me feel warm and festive! It’s perfect! 🦃🥧🎄

  4. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    Keith Evetts

    soaked to the bone
    she walks home in tears

  5. broom bangs the leaves red
    surprisingly

    wind shuffles the leaves
    red, gold, red

    coded text
    turkey, apple pie, autumn chill

  6. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    at the soirée
    grilled salmon sizzle

    walking home, we wrap up
    against night chill

    our breath hovers over us
    in the autumn air

    days quickly pass
    as autumn deepens

  7. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    Keith Evetts

    as the night chills
    ninth pup finds a teat

  8. eyes flit from tree to tree
    drunk on autumn color

    autumn wind threads its way
    through a forest of color

  9. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    the children march
    with maple seed noses

    1. or/and:

      musical chairs –
      a handful
      of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

      the march of children
      with maple seed noses

  10. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts ——-Keith Evetts

    the pop of maple
    up & down root cellar steps

  11. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts ——-Keith Evetts

    chopped into the stuffed
    mushroom spiced with thai basil

  12. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts——Keith Evetts

    zipping up
    the zigzag of two dragonflies

    1. another sip
      of autumn air

      a sip
      of autumn sky on the rocks

      fleeting autumn
      leaves pile up in the burlap bag

  13. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    serving charcoal grilled
    sea bass at the soirée

    scent of baked apples
    in mom’s pie

    a dragongly
    perches on the garden gate

    chosen as hike leader
    on an autumn day

    Art Fair on the Square
    as autumn deepens

    a Thanksgiving feast
    in the fleeting autumn

  15. musical chairs –
    
a handful

    of hot chestnuts
    —Keith Evetts

    unzipping
    the dragonfly’s zigzag

  16. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts——Keith Evetts

    thank you grandma
    for your persimmon pies

    crickets chirp cheerfully
    to the bitter end

    cricket chorus
    sings farewell to the sun

    crickets have more fans
    than roosters

    cricket chirps
    scattered by the wind

    crickets sing louder
    when the lights go out

  17. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts——Keith Evetts

    dragonfly’s zigzag
    shimmers orange to red

    dragonfly’s zigzag
    zips orange & red

  18. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts
    *
    with stilt grass the view
    grows panoramic
    *
    one of the rare few
    to master the stilt grass
    *
    keeping our balance as we slip
    through the stilt grass
    *
    saving the stilt grass
    for a someday-circus
    *

  19. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts——Keith Evetts

    dragonfly’s zigzag
    running out of red

    1. or :

      musical chairs –
      a handful
      of hot chestnuts——Keith Evetts

      dragonfly’s zigzag
      runs out of red

  20. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts——Keith Evetts

    dueling crickets
    approach crescendo

  21. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts——Keith Evetts

    dueling crickets
    corner the steps

  22. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    (Keith Evetts)

    a scarecrow tilts
    against the amber sunset

    a drizzle softens
    the edge of fallen leaves

    wind scatters petals
    from the last chrysanthemums

    the river murmurs
    through banks of withered reed

    in the temple garden
    pine needles catch the moon

    smoke curls upward
    from the lone charcoal burner

      1. musical chairs –
        a handful
        of hot chestnuts–Keith Evetts

        autumn’s voice calls
        to the bullfrog

        ice cactus glows
        in the autumn rain

        green light
        over the autumn lamp light

        a squirrel searches for her stock
        close by the flower garden

    2. That’s interesting, Carol : I wasn’t aware that a baby hedgehog is called an urchin. However, urchin/ urchins take many forms. The two I’m most familiar with are the sea urchins (as a child I collected the empty shells washed in to the tideline. Some still had spikes.) The other is ‘street urchins’. ( children : see Dickens)
      My view is that words like ‘urchin’ are too open in most cases. That you’ve alerted readers to what sort of urchins you mean seems to me to show you understand this.

      1. The young are also called ‘hoglets’
        You are right about the other two, street and sea urchins references, and I did want the hedgehog young to be the image.
        I’ve only seen sea urchins on the tv, one thing I didn’t know, that they had shells, must have been interesting to find these when a child, and I think when an adult, also. On the rare occasion I go to the west coast of Wales, I look for shark eggs.

  24. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    an autumn’s voices
    ginko walk around the lake

    collecting red leaves
    on a haiku walk-about

    migrating birds
    rest on the park pond

  25. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    (Keith Evetts)

    ————-

    chat with dad
    about nothing
    —
    hmm ..
    the air is so refreshing
    —
    dream man
    sitting there
    —

    1. Hi Nani – I really like this response:
      .
      musical chairs –
      a handful
      of hot chestnuts

      (Keith Evetts)

      ————-

      chat with dad
      about nothing
      .
      Unfortunately it doesn’t contain an autumn key word. Perhaps you could add one – for example:
      .
      wagtails chat with dad
      about nothing
      .
      Here’s a link to the list of autumn keywords that our sabaki has indicated that we should use: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html#AUTUMN. For this verse, it must be a late autumn keyword. Happy writing!

      1. Nani and princess k
        please add “all autumn” too,
        to the “late autumn” kigo list
        as per Lorin’s instructions.above.

  26. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    (Keith Evetts)

    latecomers drift in
    with the autumn dusk

    an imp of a child
    by the record player

    grandfathers sit
    on stacks of hay

    crickets cry when
    the record stops

    windows sweat
    from the night chill

  27. a hot cuppa wards off
    the night chill

    she wraps hands around a warm cuppa
    In the morning cold

    apples spill
    from a cornucopia

    a warm cuppa wards off
    the morning cold

  28. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    Keith Evetts

    one less tree
    on a desolate hill

    crunch of dew frost
    padding to the outhouse

    a dragonfly on each withered stalk
    save for one

        1. :-) Yes, that’s much better, Rob. (don’t worry: in the rush to write something, many people inadvertently switch things around. . . sometimes it can be hilarious,

  31. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    a scatter of new straw
    comforts newborn pups

    before sunrise
    fog sets in

    dew chill cools
    our river boat excursion

    soaked to the bone
    on my morning walk

    in an oak grove I hear
    the mating call of deer

  32. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts ——-Keith Evetts

    red leaves and sold tags
    on all the thrift store tables

    1. edited:

      musical chairs –
      a handful
      of hot chestnuts ——-Keith Evetts

      red leaves & sold tags
      on all thrift store tables

      1. thanks for stopping by to read & comment, madeleine
        a true story….i was looking for a small, folding table so i could move
        my laptop off of the desk where it is drafty, to the loveseat
        in the living room where the heat vent is over my head.

        This time of year….all tables are “gobbled up”….just as soon as they are donated. In the corner of my eyes…unrelated children were testing out, unrelated chairs, while parents shop.

        so glad to see you having fun here with that recent California extreme snow/rain storm.
        did it impact you?

        1. Thanks Wendy, a lovely story that goes so well with your poem. (I like the play on words with “…read leaves…” and “gobbled up” further down made me smile. We’re fine, thanks:) It rained continuously for a couple of days… It was nice to hear the rain, again…The sun is out at the moment.:)

  33. musical chairs —
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    clouds of breath
    under christmas lights

    sparks from the fire
    scorch the night sky

    a chill wind
    steals our breath

    migrating birds
    can I come too?

    marshmallows melt
    in our coffees

  34. Thank you all for the kind remarks.

    I’m thinking that in such a short and stylish renku, now we’ve had chestnuts another fruit/nut congener might not be the way to go, nor the moon nor a bloom as we probably have a moon verse and a blossom verse to come later. The wakiku normally buttresses the hokku and would not dispel its tone, which is upbeat, nor would the shift be so great as to mark a departure: that comes with the next verse, the daisan (although apart from the hokku and the ageku, our sabaki in the Junicho has a lot of scope to vary the criteria from those of longer and more traditional renku). We shall find out! I’m now out of the game, but I’ll follow with interest, and share the fun. So with the thinking done, here are some offerings:

    musical chairs
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    crickets discovered
    in a soup tureen

    rice sparrows
    hard to tell apart

    hill cattle bedded
    on new barn straw

    the barmaid
    redder than the ivy

    1. Ah, Keith. The hokku is yours, and it’s a great one but I have to tell you that any further verse submissions from you aren’t eligible for a 12 verse renku. Comment as you wish but please don’t post any more “offerings”.

  35. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts

    painter picks a poppy
    for its purple

    what the abstract shows

  36. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    frogs bellow
    in autumn’s voice

      1. autumn’s voice cries
        leap frog!

        autumn’s voice yells
        leap frog!

        You must be joking, Madeleine.

      1. Maddy, the duck duck goose verse is the one I meant as my fave. What I wrote above didn’t make sense. Can’t blame Otto for this. It is all in me.

        1. Thank you Nan, lovely of you to say…no worries, happens to the best of us one time or another… happy that you liked duck duck goose…I had a lot of fun writing it.

    3. Madeleine, these are charming!!!!! For the moment my favorites are ‘duck duck goose…’ and ‘red light green light…’ and ‘hide and seek…’

  40. red light green light
    under the autumn lamp light

    hide and seek
    in the flowering meadow

    hide and seeking
    in the flowery field

    1. Nice responses madeleine! These autumn games haiku remind me of Issa’s:
      .
      .焼栗やへろへろ神の向方に
      yakiguri ya hero-hero kami no muku hô ni
      .
      roasted chestnuts–
      eeny, meeny, miny
      moe!
      .
      translated by David Lanoue

      1. Yes, princess, Issa’s haiku/ hokku , in David Lanoue’s translation, works well and to my mind there are echoes between this and Keith’s hokku.

      2. Thank you Princess k., a very inspiring haiku of Issa’s. I really appreciate you posting it:)

  41. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    –Keith Evetts

    leaving the big top
    the clown’s pocket of steam

  42. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    alone, on the field’s edge
    guarding emptiness, scare crow

    red maple leaves
    from our walk-about

    a bouquet of pampas grass
    on the mantle

    my chrysanthemum
    corsage around my wrist

  43. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    (Keith Evetts)

    bailing out with a crush
    a golden leaf

  44. Congratulations, Keith! A great starting verse, Lorin!

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    (Keith Evetts)

    desolate and
    left all alone

    a tonic for
    a little cold

    the long night
    made shorter

    steam evaporating
    in the autumn air

    the song as short
    as fleeting autumn

    the last note floating
    on the autumn wind

  45. Congrats Keith and nice to be under your 12 note wing Lorin,

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    –Keith Evetts

    the one left standing
    chats up the scarecrow

    the night chill
    stills the wild things

    the centerpiece full
    of backyard persimmons

        1. Thank you Pamela and madeleine. I was surprised to look in today and see the # of comments as well as offerings. WOW! I’ll be back to read more and post my efforts. Thanks for the warm welcome.

  46. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts – Keith Evetts

    lightning strikes and crows
    scatter like ink across the sky

    lightning strikes and apple
    trees turn into cider

    lightning strikes and acorns
    roll across a barn’s tin roof

    lightning flash reveals
    a forgotten pumpkin

      2. Certainly, Pamela, ” lightning strikes and crows…” is striking. I imagine that Dali would’ve loved a lightning flash that crowed.
        But this is a classic (though short) renku, not a surrealistic poem.

    2. Dan, be wary about stuffing too much into a verse or having too many syllables. Also beware of lines such as “lightning strikes and crows” . OK, everything is fine after we read L2, but before that we have lightning with a voice (!) Be careful of using words that can be both nouns and verbs.

      The best of these, to my mind, is the last:

      (the)lightning flash reveals
      a forgotten pumpkin

  47. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    flashes of lightening
    lights up the patio

    blue, blue, blue, blue, blue
    autumn sky

    autumn color
    on the aspen grove

    a cup of coffee warms
    my hands in morning cold

    on an autumn day
    serving breakfast customers

  48. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    we settle back to watch
    salmon leap

    a scarecrow smiling
    despite the drizzle

  49. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    — Keith Evetts

    sharing a round
    on an autumnal clear day

    2. thanks for posting and sharing this simple and touching poem, Laurie!
      it appears to reflect your satisfied state, as well as the monks!

      1. Seeing fulling blocks on the kigo list made me determined to get Pangur in here somehow.
        But I admit I have a white cat and there was only one thing I could name her!

  52. geese form the usual vee
    as they fly overhead

    the crackle from the fire
    keeps off the night chill

    cold moon
    a spider hides indoors

    twitchers race to see
    an unusual visitor

    the milky way arches
    above our heads

    he offers her a
    chrysanthemum

  53. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    a warm fireplace
    shuts out the desolate wind

    we watch
    a patch of autumn sky

    from our window we watch
    a patch of autumn sky

    beneath warm quilts
    we listen to autumn’s voice

    without electricity
    a long night surrounds us

  54. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts
    *
    the geese raise their voices
    as they go
    *
    the night chill takes us
    down another degree
    *

  55. Congratulations, Keith, on your hokku. Such a delightful verse.

    musical chairs —
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    –Keith Evetts

    children skipping
    through maple leaves

    children skip
    through leaves

    a cornucopia
    of apples and seeds

  56. Well done, Keith—and well chosen, Lorin!

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    a farmer’s child cradles
    the season’s first potato

  57. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    –Keith Evetts
    *
    wind blows the leaves
    this way and that

  58. My offerings are:

    lightning
    splits the party up

    the flower garden full
    of discarded litter

    footprints in dew frost
    lead to my window

  59. Congrats on another gem Keith and thank you Lorin!

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    a lone maple leaf
    clinging to the branch

    wading though a stream
    of maple leaves

    do maple leaves count
    before they jump

    maple leaves riding the wind
    resemble crimson kites

    scarecrow crowns are always
    made of maple leaves

    showboat scarecrows wish
    they could change colors like leaves

  60. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts——-Keith Evetts

    left standing
    without a toadstool

  61. Brilliant beginning, Keith.

    My offerings

    musical chairs —
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    **
    windchimes dance
    in the morning chill

    a kite
    high over empty fields

    the vineyard
    settles into a long wait

    the kaleidoscope
    of autumn wind

  62. Congratulations, Keith!

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    –Keith Evetts

    pumpkin vines curl
    along the garden’s edge

    a line of scarecrows
    tilts toward the sunset

    acorn caps
    a game ends without a winner

    yellow asters lean
    into the waning sun

    russet leaves crunch
    beneath migrating feet

  63. Congratulations Keith and Lorin! What a great beginning!

    autumn’s voice competes
    with howls of laughter

  64. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    the mushroom ring
    widenes on our lawn

    in autumn lamplight children
    play ring around the rosie

    field mice scamper to hide
    under straw bundles

  65. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts_______Keith Evetts

    toon tree leaves drop
    when the dueling sitars stop

    2. “dueling sitars ” is interesting, Wendy. I admit that I’m only familiar with Dueling Banjos. (and the film, ‘Deliverance’. . . long ago, now.)

      1. Lorin,
        Glad you found this interesting. and
        yes…i remember ‘Deliverance’ film and the dueling banjos, too!
        the coordination of visual movement with sound movement…
        impactful and outstanding.
        as well as many other instruments that have dueled in public and private performances,
        when voices duel, in a duet…
        i’ve heard guitars, electric violins, cellos, recorders, children’s blowing instrument: kazoos and pianos, even glass harmonicas duel. The list grows on.
        but when i think of chestnuts…i see/associate sitars with the color and shape of their gourd bodies, and when i read our hokku by Keith, with the musical chairs, i thought of music…..music starting and music stopping and remembered this performance i saw with Ravi Shankar and his daughter….how they break up the segments, (start and stopping with each new set) starting off slowly, then, each one getting faster….i connected it to the game….when we start out it takes longer to go/navigate around the circle or line of chairs.
        as each one is eliminated the circle becomes smaller and is more quickly encircled. (also analogous to the long list….made shorter by
        the sabaki….and the reading of the list quickens as its length is shortened)
        i also hear a humour in the pun ‘sitars’ with sitters, the people in the game are sitters on chairs.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbiMond2_20
        the instrument and background info.

        Ravi & Anoushka Shankar

        and father/daughter performance
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIQrUZLyATo

        the dueling sitars/media write up
        https://markhancock.blogspot.com/2003/10/dueling-sitars.html

        1. ” also hear a humour in the pun ‘sitars’ with sitters, …” – Wendy

          Aye, and there’s the rub. You say ‘sitters’ and I say ‘see-tahs’ (with the emphasis on “-tahs’.)

          As coincidence, I re-watched my ‘Concert for George’ DVD only a few weeks ago. I’ve not seen/heard Ravi Shankar and his daughter perform live, but have been familiar with sitar music since the ’60s.
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concert_for_George

  66. dear keith and lorin, not only is this hokku
    an excellent, fascinating and fun poem, it is a
    perfect choice to propel the renku into verse two.
    thank you lorin for choosing it—the possibilities
    are so open…

  67. Just in case anyone is wondering where the kigo is in this verse of Laurie’s:

    “one by one
    the fairy rings disappear ” – Laurie

    it’s only fair to all that I spell it out. Let’s put it this way: if you’ve lived in Alice Springs (or desert regions anywhere) all your life it’s unlikely you’ve seen “fairy rings” . For best understanding, go to Wikipedia or the like. For our purposes, ‘fairy rings’ come under
    “mushrooms, fungus (kinoko, late autumn).” in our kiyose.
    http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html#AUTUMN–PLANTS

    mushrooms, fungus (kinoko, late autumn).

    2. Laurie’s verse came across as a delightful and delicate read. Only once have I seen and photographed a ‘fairy ring’ a dainty arrangement of waxcaps. A chance encounter.

  68. Lorin,
    Such an interesting pick for autumn to have a party peek (possibly inside) scene.

    Congrats! Keith,
    i so much enjoyed your critique of Carol’s ‘winnow wind’ hokku offering, when you equated it to the process of whittling down verses a sabaki utilizes to arrive at his/her best pick….in like manner….your ‘musical chairs’ share the same goal. How unique in your keen adaptation here:

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts_______Keith Evetts

    silent cheers welcome
    falling mahogany leaves

    1. Yes, Wendy, ‘musical chairs’ is a traditional party game played inside when the weather is cold and rainy.

      1. thanks for responding, Lorin.
        We always played musical chairs inside, too….at various parties
        we played ‘hot potatoes’, inside and outside…party, not required.

        Lorin,
        Do you feel the wakiku stay inside as well?
        Or is there wiggle room?

        1. Wiggle room, certainly. The wakiku turns to the hokku and supports it, compliments it . . . somehow.

      2. In Phoenix, AZ we have played musical chairs both inside and outside, during the daytime as well as the nighttime; a party was optional. So . . Lorin, should the second verse be inside or outsi9de or is either appropriate?

        1. Thanks for that information, John. During daytime or nighttime, certainly. Kids or adults or kids and adults ( I use the term ‘party’ loosely. A get-together is probably a better term than a party is) .
          “should the second verse be inside or outside or is either appropriate?” – John D.

          Either, for our purposes.

          (though personally I’ve only played it or seen it play indoors, a very long time ago… and, where did you get the chairs to play it outside? Though this is irrelevant. I’m just curious.)

          The point is that the wakiku supports/ pairs with the hokku in some way. Have a look at some finished renku archived at THF and you’ll see various ways that the wakiku supports and compliments the hokku.

          1. Lorin: to anwser your curiossity about where the chairs came from for the game of musical chairs played outside. Twice, at two different house in Phoenix, AZ, as adults we played musical chairs and other games this summer at an outdoors barbeque held after sunset. No children were present . The chairs were on the large patio. But we did move them to the lawn for the musical chairs game.

          2. Interesting, John. I admit that I’ve not played musical chairs since I was 8 years old and it was always inside, in ours and other peoples living rooms or in the church hall or the like.
            (Once, in the Life Savers club room)

    3. Wendy, in relation to Keith’s comments on Carol’s “winnow wind” note that Keith’s hokku has
      ” musical chairs” as L1, not “music chairs”.

      1. Lorin,
        I’m sorry….i seem to find where that mistake is….i even did a page search and couldn’t find it…..only one occurrence and it was in your post. Can you kindly help me find it, so i can correct it?

        1. re-posting to correct a new mistake…and add a new question
          Lorin,
          I’m sorry…. i can’t seem to find where that mistake is
          is there something i’m just not understanding here?

          1. There’s no mistake that I can see, Wendy. In response to your:

            “Keith,
            i so much enjoyed your critique of Carol’s ‘winnow wind’ hokku offering, when you equated it to the process of whittling down verses a sabaki utilizes to arrive at his/her best pick… ” (Wendy) I wrote: “Wendy, in relation to Keith’s comments on Carol’s “winnow wind” note that Keith’s hokku has ” musical chairs” as L1, not “music chairs”. ”

            If I recall rightly (the text isn’t here in front of me. It’s but gone with last weeks thread) Keith opined that “winnow wind” might be acceptable as the first line of Carol’s verse and I disagreed. (and I also noted that John Keats has “winnowing wind” in his timeless poem ‘To Autumn’. )

            In good humour, on this thread, in response to your message to Keith, I simply demonstrated my opinion that if “winnow wind” was acceptable (as Keith had proposed it might be in ) then L1 of his/our hokku might have read “music chairs”.

            Which of course it isn’t.
            (ps : you don’t need to ask the same question twice. Remember that you & I are in different time zones. Right now it is 8:02am, Saturday 23/11/2024, my time. )

          2. got it now, Lorin
            i remember that discussion…i appreciated how you listened, openly to all the citations Keith listed to try to persuade you…i saw how you were still on the fence, for awhile, then rejected it as it still came off as ” two nouns “.
            Sometimes….there is an instinct….for me, i’m not impressed with citations, i’m impressed with a good sound, it’s a hearing instinct….if it sounds right…i go with it!
            Winnowing Wind is poetry to my ears.

  69. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts  

    (Keith Evetts)

    the long night longer
    with a blanket hog

  71. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts  

    (Keith Evetts)

    autumn wind chipping
    away at the windchimes

  72. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts  

    (Keith Evetts)

    just glorified rain
    oh autumn snow!

  74. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts  

    (Keith Evetts)

    a fallen leaf
    checkmates my king

  75. Congratulations Keith, it sets the tone wonderfully.

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts  

    (Keith Evetts)

    the wind chills
    the Beaujolais nouveau

    the wind chills the Beaujolais
    nouveau just right

    1. the wind chills
      the Beaujolais nouveau

      What incredible timing, Orense! :-) Serendippity!

      “When will the Beaujolais Nouveau 2024 be released?”
      discoverbeaujolais.com
      https://www.discoverbeaujolais.com › articles › events

      “The 2024 vintage will officially be released on Thursday, November 21, 2024. ”
      —
      re:
      the wind chills
      the Beaujolais nouveau

      (I’d suggest that you lose the first the first the” /def. article in this verse, and replace it with another short-sounding word. )

      1. Thank you Lorin for the suggestion:)

        I liked Beaujolais nouveau as a kigo of sorts as it is always released on the third thursday of November and is usually drank right away. French people mock the concept but end up drinking it anyway, which is why it is still a thing ;)

        golden wind chills
        the Beaujolais nouveau

        a golden wind chills
        the Beaujolais nouveau

        red wind chills
        the Beaujolais nouveau

        1. I really like the potential of Beaujolais nouveau as a sensible if unlisted seasonal marker of the festival variety. Compliments!
          Wondering whether the slightly downbeat ‘chills’ is the best choice to go with it? (Although the wretched stuff is probably better chilled….) Thinking that ‘autumn colour’ from the approved list (the autumn colour / of new Beaujolais) or even ‘late autumn sun (warms the new Beaujolais)?

          Just a thought…hopefully constructive.

          1. I liked the idea of creating a hot/cold contrast since Beaujolais nouveau is best served slightly chilled. If chills is slightly negative it wouldn’t be amiss for me since it is thrill-seeking behaviour:) You mainly drink it with the question “How awful is it going to be?” in mind and when it isn’t you get a nice surprise;) Maybe as an adjective it is less negative.

            on the windowsill
            wind-chilled Beaujolais nouveau

            It could be fun to further link with sound echoing the popping chestnuts with the pop of the cork

            pop!
            goes the Beaujolais nouveau

            new Beaujolais could be helpful for some readers but I don’t know how much because if you don’t know Beaujolais nouveau, it is likely you don’t know Beaujolais as well. So I think google would be a factor no matter what. Spelling it phonetically could be interesting to gently poke fun, Bojolay noovo for instance but I have no idea how well known Beaujolais nouveau is hence how recognizable it would be.

            Suggestions are always welcome, thank you for your thoughts and push to think on it some more. :)

          2. pop goes
            the Beaujolais noveau

            …would be a good candidate wakiku (in my view) if there’s latitude in seasonal refs outside the 500 list.

          3. Thank you Keith:) , thrilled you like it as a potential follow to your wonderful hokku. I like your rearranging it makes it less bottom heavy and improves the flow.

  76. Congratulations, Keith

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts

    clutches of sand martins
    follow the tide

    Robert Kingston

  78. scarecrow stands alone
    in his tattered clothes

    cutting reeds
    for table decorations

    authumn rain ends
    our park picnic

  79. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    (Keith Evetts)

    wrapped inside
    a candle flicker

    (Joanna Ashwell)

  80. Wonderful choice! Thank you Keith and Lorin!

    musical chairs –

    a handful

    of hot chestnuts  
    —Keith Evetts

    worms cry ‘ji—’
    stopping suddenly

    the great hesitation
    of migrating birds

    autumn’s voice
    conducted by wind

    2. WOW! Pamela….
      absolutely love your response, (ideally, sans the break, i hear between line1 and line two):

      worms cry ‘ji—’
      stopping suddenly

      Pamela Gary

      1. Thanks Wendy. Take 2 to avoid a cut:

        Maybe

        the wind section and maracas
        back Autumn’s voice

        Maybe

        the worms cry ‘ji—’
        stops suddenly

  81. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts
    *
    deer caught in the beam
    of a motion sensor
    *
    marauding deer in the beam
    of a motion sensor
    *

  82. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts
    *
    the long night passes
    from crier to crier
    *

  83. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts-Keith Evetts
    *
    the sun sleeping early
    Making room for the next full moon

    the fire’s glowing shades
    in fleeting autumn

    ripening apples
    ready for the great harvest

  85. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    bobbing for apples
    as snapdragons hiss

    a tankard if gløgg*
    warning as passed on *
    gløgg (Danish)- mulled wine, glühwein

    how long can you hold
    a spud from the ashes ?

    1. Sorry. Should have been :

      a tankard of gløgg*
      warning as passed on
      * gløgg (Danish) – mulled wine,

  87. Thank you, Lorin; ’tis an honour to have a hokku picked (I tried hard).

    Glad we are on the same wavelength for a ‘twelve tone’ renku, and I look forward to the remaining chairs being taken off the floor each week, and to your handling of the hot chestnuts!

  88. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    yuletide carols sung by choirs
    and folks dressed as eskimos

  89. Congratulations Keith Evetts on your great hokku.
    Lorin Ford—this is a fine selection to start off this renku.

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts –Keith Evetts

    watching sunset
    at autumn dusk

    we dine on
    smoked salmon

    in our backyard
    quail hunt for grains

  90. Congratulations, Keith. A bubbly little number to start us off. Well done, and well chosen, Lorin.

  91. musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts

    the dew frost
    makes things a bit tricky

    a squirrel scours shells
    in the morning cold

    a wood burning fire
    under mackerel clouds

  93. Congrats Keith, once again 👏

    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts

    on a nearby table
    the wings of a dragonfly

    walking under maples
    remembering their leaves

    festive lights
    adorn the trees

    a cold wind
    blows through the scarecrow

  94. Congratulations, Keith! Of your many many outstanding verses, this is surely the best. Honored to get to link to it. Lorin–what an exciting start! Thanks!
    **
    musical chairs –
    a handful
    of hot chestnuts
    *
    Keith Evetts
    *
    two bucks race
    to a photo finish
    *
    yearlings caught
    in a photo finish
    *
    one by one
    the fairy rings disappear
    *

    1. Thank you, Laurie, for the very kind comment. Much appreciated.
      ‘one by one / fairy rings’ seems a natural consequence (if we’re going to move outdoors)

      1. musical chairs –
        a handful
        of hot chestnuts
        *
        Keith Evetts

        a clutch of pipers
        follow the tide

        Robert Kingston

        1. Robert, I’m curious: are these the birds, ‘sandpipers’? (Pretty sure you don’t mean men in kilts playing the bagpipes)

          1. Hi Lorin

            Indeed they are. Your comment has tickled me, what with it being cold here now. 😂

          2. Right, then. 😊 Thanks, Robert. So you could have ‘sandpipers’, which (unlike ‘pipers’) is an “all autumn” kigo in our kiyose, and nobody would be prompted to sing along to the Fureys’ version of ” Green Fields of France”.

            (You (& anyone on this thread) can hear the song and / or read the lyrics here:
            https://genius.com/The-fureys-green-fields-of-france-lyrics

            ’tis a good song, but . . .)

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