The Moon’s Aura: Week 8
Namaskaar!
_()_
Welcome to the eighth week of rasika —’The Moon’s Aura.’
I’m Kala Ramesh, and I’ll be your guide in this journey in collaborative poetry.
It seems as if we have just started and we’ve reached the end – ageku!
The rasika till now:
The Moon’s Aura
— rasika, the shortest renku ever!
opening credits
the moon colorized
by its aura
— Laurie Greer
in one fluid stroke
we each draw an enso
— Sally Biggar
hush
of the huddled sparrows
as snow comes down hard
— Sanjuktaa Asopa
sea winds whistle through
the bleached bones of a whale
— Kashi Reisu
her perfume
with its hint of petrichor
enchants him
— Marietta McGregor
surprise baby shower
at the women’s shelter
— Chris Patchel
Thanks a lot for all your offers. I enjoyed reading and thinking about them a lot.
Below are all the verses that I felt suited this slot. Choosing one took some time!
Some verses connected in one way or the other to petrichor, and one even to the hokku.
they say
timing is crucial when
it comes to forsythia
— Michael Henry Lee
I really liked this verse but felt it connected directly to petrichor!
just enough shade
for the bright yellow
of a wild rose
— Firdaus Parwez
Love this verse but the hokku has ‘colour’ and felt this won’t sit well here.
on the drive
the new BMW
studded with blossom
— andrew shimield
New topics covered but L 1 (on the drive) took me to petrichor again. I could be wrong! Lovely verse.
flowering irises
opening the window
among the tall grass
— Angiola Inglese
Highly imaginative! Debated a lot about this verse. Well done!
suddenly
a purple sky rolls down
from grandma’s lilac bowl
— Lakshmi Iyer
Child-like and fun!
are dandelions
illegal aliens
or undocumented immigrants?
— princess k
I really liked the thought behind this but felt it was slightly wordy and so had to let it go.
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
This is the verse that I felt sits best here. That is the beauty of renku. Each sabaki (guide) can take the renku forward in a totally different direction!
There’s a gentle touch about the image here, and it’s a fact that birth happens most unexpectedly in human beings and in the rest of nature! There’s no saying when we are going to be born or when we’ll die, for that matter. We don’t even know when we drift off to sleep or the exact moment when we wake up. The beauty of birth is succinctly brought to the fore, in the form of a blossom.
Let’s go back to ‘jo-ha-kyu’:
introduction, expansion and rapid close.
In Rasika these three parts would be:
Verses 1 & 2 – jo
Verses 3, 4, 5 and 6 – ha
Verses 7 & 8 – kyu.
How well this renku fits into this broad framework.
The rasika till now:
The Moon’s Aura
— rasika, the shortest renku ever!
opening credits
the moon colorized
by its aura
— Laurie Greer
in one fluid stroke
we each draw an enso
— Sally Biggar
hush
of the huddled sparrows
as snow comes down hard
— Sanjuktaa Asopa
sea winds whistle through
the bleached bones of a whale
— Kashi Reisu
her perfume
with its hint of petrichor
enchants him
— Marietta McGregor
surprise baby shower
at the women’s shelter
— Chris Patchel
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
The schema for ‘The Moon’s Aura’:
long – hokku | au mn*
short – wakiku | ns*
long – daisan | wi*
short – ns
long – end su/lv (rainy season)
short – ns/lv
long | sp bl *
- ageku | ns *
The asterisks show the important verses which remain constant in all renku.
What are the requirements for the ageku:
Ageku is always uplifting.
Short verse.
No seasonal reference.
A nature verse, without the presence of people.
Rapid close – (kyu)
Please don’t mention any word or image that has been used before.
Go for fresh images – images that have not been done so far in this renku.
The window closes on Sunday 21st November!
Keep a close watch on this space! Meet you next Thursday.
Thanks once again for following and participating in this renku.
I’m keenly waiting to read the ageku candidates!
Through all this activity of checking the requirements, don’t forget to have fun!
yours in haikai spirit,
_kala
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
This Post Has 68 Comments
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silvered dancer trees
reaching for the stars
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 11/20/21
to reduce syl. count if needed:
solar harp strings
unavoidably in tune
11.18.2021 by wendy © bialek
the river flows slowly
towards sunset
a seashell ashore
moved by the waves
alien traces
in the asteroid
(I would prefer:
traces of alien life
in the impact crater
but it might be ruled out on a formal syllable count)
a Saintpaulia leaf
has taken root in the glass
please ignore “dawn of a shell
left overnight on the shore “, which I realized looks like one already proposed
from dusk to dawn
secret life of a garden
***
small brown eggs
on the cabbage leaves
***
dawn of a shell
left overnight on the shore
a minnow’s
heartbeat one
early morn
Please totally ignore the one above!
*
a minnow’s heartbeat
one early morn
conch releasing
the breath of the waves
darkening sky
into Penfold of flora and fauna
**
all umbrellas unfolding
supermarkets’ sudden showers
**
all tulsi leaves unattended
in the temple yard
distant starlight
illuminating the peaks
– Betty Shropshire
Congrats Barbara!
.
.
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
.
.
the arctic circle
currently drifting northwards
.
in one ear and out the other
the moo of a glacier
.
even the last polar bear
can’t turn off the lights
.
.
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
shrivelling back
the fungi enters warp speed
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
within layered sandstone
a perfect dinosaur footprint
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
.
.
a faint flush of gold
where the sun rises
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
sunrise from behind
the jagged city skyline
Thank you Kala for selecting my verse. It is a lovely surprise. Thankyou all for your comments.
I do love Jacarandas and have several in bloom right now.
Looking forward to the ageku…
Peace and Love
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
the pure amethyst of crystals
forming in a geode
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
*
— Barbara A. Taylor
*
lichens turning stone
into biome
*
lichens lay the ground for once
and future forests
*
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
*
— Barbara A. Taylor
*
a walking stick finds its cryptic path
along the map lichen
*
revison:
*
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
*
— Barbara A. Taylor
*
a walking stick wanders
across the map lichen
*
Just adding my haiku to the conversation,
not only about what the moon is like, but
also about her effects around us.
The brightest moonscape
big sky filled with shinning stars
smooth, vague, snow contours
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
– Barbara A. Taylor
•
forward facing eyes blink
while its tail holds true
– Betty Shropshire
revise to:
forward-facing eyes blink
while its tail holds true
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
*****
wild mustangs grazing
in the high desert
his paw in mid air
a jackal spies the eclipse
a spring in the steps
of escaping gazelle
with fresh eucalyptus
koalas forget their scars
Barbara–a wonderful, vivid addition to this–congratulations! Kala, thanks as always for the careful readings and considerations. Sorry to see this end!
*
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
*
— Barbara A. Taylor
*
the fossil species endure
the way they always have
*
Dear Kala,
Thanks a ton for the wonderful Rasika journey. It will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I enjoyed the learning through your comments and brief description. I must say, I was intoxicated until I got my offers ready every week with all the challenges of the Rasika cupping it. It was fun!
Thank you again for your precious time and guidance. Thanks to THF for the opportunity given to learn from the expert.
My offers for the ageku …..
music of time reflects
on a serene lake
deeply rooted tree
homes a wildflower
a dark forest schools
countless tiny hearts
Keep rocking!
Love and smiles
Amrutha
Love jacarandas! Africa days…
—-
the pines recite
a song of old times
—
how quickly the sun
melts Heaven’s River
—
the soft lilt of the pines
sings of new dawn
Thanks Kala for mentioning my verse and for your guidance. Congratulations Barbara, beautiful verse.
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
the beagle pauses
then moves on
on the laptop screen
images from other worlds
*
I’m watching the solare eclipse
through a shard of smoked glass
*
let’s enjoy the light coming
from the crossroads winds
the Sequoia’s silence
speaks volumes
***********************
turtles enjoying
what turtles enjoy
**********************
countless hover
around the street lamp
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
*
over the mountains
a brilliant sunrise
zebras napping
in a baobab tree’s shade
wind sculpting
the cypress tree
Just for fun:
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
a column of gnats spirals
up up and away
Following along and enjoying your comments, thank you Kala.
Congratulations, Barbara. I do love jacaranda trees, but they don’t grow where I live. Too cold!
Congratulations Barbara and many thanks Kala for your guidance in this session.
*
a skunk crossing
the busy highway to mate
Congrats Barbara and thank you Kala for your patient guidance.
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
the cliff sheds a gold nugget
for the wood rat
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
after all said and done
the squirrel still has his nuts
or:
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
strings on a solar harp
unavoidably in tune
11.18.2021 by wendy © bialek
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
strings on a solar harp
unavoidably tuned
11.18.2021 by wendy © bialek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5JabDI8394
I like Barbara’s ‘jacaranda’ verse a lot, and it would perhaps be hard to find a suitable ‘blossom’ that didn’t have a perfume, but it’s clear that ‘jacaranda’ blossoms, along with ‘forsythia’, ‘ wild rose’ and ‘lilac’, has a fragrance/ perfume
and this takes us back to Marietta’s verse which states “perfume” (primarily) as well as giving the scientific name for a particular scent (petrichor).
It would be hard to find a spring blossoming tree without a perfume/ fragrance. But there’s no way it could be argued that this lovely blossom verse didn’t take us back to last-but-one, the uchikoshi.
Yes, the verse is lovely yet it does take us back to the fragrance of the petrichor verse. The name jacaranda comes from a South American language Guarani and it means ‘fragrant’.
replying to both lorin and michelle……
this is all true and perhaps, from a sabaki’s point of view….unavoidable.
one needs to work as best as one can with what they receive.
and sometimes the hierarchy can be art/beauty over rules.
i believe j. carley mentioned this as well as john stevenson.
“… sometimes the hierarchy can be art/beauty over rules.
i believe j. carley mentioned this as well as john stevenson. ” – Wendy
.
I’d like to see where John Carley “mentioned this” in relation to uchikoshi (return to the verse -before-last). I don’t think John Stevenson has “mentioned” anything along these lines, either. Can you quote your sources for these claims, Wendy?
lorin…there is no ref. in print, i know of, where it applies specifically to uchikoshi …. but here, where, we may have a first.
“… sometimes the hierarchy can be art/beauty over rules.
i believe j. carley mentioned this as well as john stevenson. ” – Wendy
.
“I’d like to see where John Carley “mentioned this” in relation to uchikoshi (return to the verse -before-last). I don’t think John Stevenson has “mentioned” anything along these lines, either. Can you quote your sources for these claims, Wendy?” – Lorin
.
“lorin…there is no ref. in print, i know of, where it applies specifically to uchikoshi …. but here, where, we may have a first.” – Wendy
.
(I don’t understand the 2nd part of your statement, Wendy: “…but here, where, we may have a first.” A first what??? A first reference? (That doesn’t make sense to me.) Certainly not a first 8 verse renku. You’ll find Kala’s first THF 8 verse renku in the renku archives. – Lorin)
Wendy, you wrote: ” “… sometimes the hierarchy can be art/beauty over rules. ” I understand that part of your post is likely to be a very general statement. – Lorin
BUT your
“i believe j. carley mentioned this as well as john stevenson. ” – Wendy
is an appeal to authority and you need to back it up… find and quote the relevant texts by both Johns and give your source/s.
If, as you claim, both or either John Carley and John Stevenson “mentioned” , in relation to progression in renku , anything that could possibly be interpreted as “sometimes the hierarchy can be art/ beauty over rules” you’ll be able to source where you came across these particular “mentions” by these well-educated-in-renku leaders. “In print” isn’t necessary, in fact online, on the web, is fine and for this venue, it’s better.
.
What isn’t good is to make a claim that certain people “mentioned” something but you don’t or can’t back up with evidence. (See below)
.
“Whereas ‘link’ describes the relationship between each added verse and the previous verse, ‘shift’ governs the relationship between an added verse and its last-but-one or ‘leap-over’ verse. Essentially, each added verse must have almost nothing whatsoever to do with the last but one verse. In some circumstances it may share the same season, but other than that it must mark a truly comprehensive shift away.” – JEC
“The late and truly great Master Meiga Higashi identified ‘uchikoshi’ as being the sine-qua non of renku composition. He proposed that even if every other convention and consideration were disregarded any piece of poetry which respected ideas of ‘uchikoshi’ would have to be treated as renku. ” – JEC
.
(Yes, that important! – Lorin
.
“The principal of uchikoshi (kannonbiraki) means that there should be no similarity between added verse and last-but-one, other than possibly belonging to the same seasonal segment, or to the ‘love’ section.” -JEC
.
On the art of renku:
“But it is essential to remember, when learning these conventions, that renku is art. It is not a forensic investigation, or a high school debating society. Renku is about periodicity and modulation. It deals not so much with absolute novelty as with recontextualisation. Renku cannot be written by adherence to ‘rules’. We are artists. We must understand our materials. And create. ” – JEC
.
This, or similar, might be the source of your comment, I think, Wendy. But ‘art’ didn’t mean ‘beauty’ to JEC. He disliked the “string of firecrackers/ beautiful verses” idea of renku verses. The plain and the beautiful, the mundane and the exotic, the clever and the innocent, the dead serious and the comic, etc. etc.
(All quotes from JEC are from Sandra Simpson’s choice of comments John C. made along the way in the various renku he led at the “Issa’s Snail” website. The title: ‘ Renku – A Snippet of Snails’)
https://poetrysociety.org.nz/affiliates/haiku-nz/haiku-poems-articles/archived-articles/renku-a-snippet-of-snails/
yes, thank you, lorin, you found something that appears similar to what i read in print….about renku art.
the “beauty” part i added from a feeling i take away from this renku session with kala.
both what is beauty and art are quite subjective.
it intrigues me to see how each sabaki scours the list to find that gem!
my approach here is to place in verse form responses to what i see… and have fun doing it, reading the comments and enjoying all the writers’ submitted verses…. what i see, hear, feel, and think. allowing the sabaki do his or her magic and learning/understanding the way of that sabaki; and absorbing the lessons, and gifts of wisdom, each leader brings to the session.
kala has made me see in different ways, she has added a new depth for me. and it has made for a very positive experience.
i would love to talk more with you about the beauty and art in being a sabaki….so let’s continue this with an email conversation….sometime soon….i am off to fun and creative, meal prep. for another organic holiday party.
(this might post out of order)
“… sometimes the hierarchy can be art/beauty over rules.
i believe j. carley mentioned this as well as john stevenson. ” – Wendy
.
Well, nobody can say I didn’t try! The point, Wendy, is : if you’re going to attempt an “appeal to authority” , make sure you can back up your claim that said authority / authorities have actually “mentioned” whatever you claim they’ve mentioned. All you’ve managed to do is to cast the shadow of disrepute on two authorities, (one of them deceased) by making a claim you can’t substantiate, and in doing that you show yourself as, at best, an unreliable witness.
… but no, I certainly don’t want any email follow-ups from you, Wendy, which would just be more wasted time for me.
“One can lead a horse to water, but one can’t make it drink.”
Thanks for posting this link Lorin: https://poetrysociety.org.nz/affiliates/haiku-nz/haiku-poems-articles/archived-articles/renku-a-snippet-of-snails/
a good read.
Thanks, Princess, I’m happy you appreciate the article, and others may, too. There are some good articles and resources online.
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
——— Barbara A. Taylor
*
owls and cuckoos
discuss the health of the forest
*
sunlight glitters
off the crow’s dark edges
*
the fox in his den
dreams of white rabbits
a perfect, and most beautiful choice, kala….
barbara, love your writing!
the link of ‘unexpectedly’ with ‘surprise’,
‘a month earlier’ with the ‘birth of a baby’ and
your choice of blossom having to do with with
rebirth, etc i find so charming.
congrats, barbara, for a most fitting piece.
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
Congratulations, Barbara! 🙂
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
unwavering
light in the cat’s eyes
“If a jacaranda flower drops on your head then it means good fortune. The tree represents wisdom, rebirth, wealth and good luck. The name jacaranda comes from a South American language Guarani and it means ‘fragrant’.”
Jul. 19, 2020
https://m.tribuneindia.com › schools
Jacaranda — The lavish lilac – Tribune India
I wasn’t familiar with this beautiful tree. Lovely verse.
Congratulations to Barbara A. Taylor on her verse. Thanks to Kala Ramesh for appreciating my irises !!
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
hung on one arm
the chimp’s broad smile
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
carps gobble air
here and there
Milan Rajkumar
most unexpectedly
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
— Barbara A. Taylor
Congratulations Barbara!
Thank you Kala for the guidance .
Congratulations, Barbara. It’s a beautiful verse. I love jacarandas. I thought we were going by this instruction, however:
“For a renku this short, it can be any blossom.
Generally, it is only flowering trees that are allowed in longer renku.”
At any rate, it’s still lovely.
Yes, but I didn’t find any other verse better than the chosen one.
And a jacaranda is a blossom too :))
thq,
_k
Thank you, Kala🙏
Michelle, a jacaranda is a blossoming tree with blue-lilac blossoms, much grown as both street trees and front yard trees in Australia. They would be blooming now (last month of spring) where Barbara is. Like the cherry blossoms in Japan, they bloom first in the warmer regions.
https://travel.nine.com.au/destinations/where-to-see-jacarandas-in-sydney-nsw/228e8e9f-a7a2-46a1-ab7b-03fbf94c1408
Thank you, Lorin. 🙏 I was fortunate to have experienced these sprawling, fragrant and ephemeral trees when I lived in Pasadena, California. It seems like I read an article about one woman who was responsible for the planting and upkeep of all the jacaranda seeds in California. Now, they are all over California. They are quite entrancing in their beauty.