I’m Kala Ramesh here.
We’ve come to the end of this renku and it’s a fond farewell from me.
You can relax now, no more verses on water :))
All said and done, during the last nine weeks, I’ve loved reading and mulling over all your candidates and enjoyed myself thoroughly in your company.
I wish I could totally agree with you, Lorin, that it was all completely about water.
I don’t agree about ‘baby shower’ being a water verse.
The term ‘baby shower’ is to be taken as a whole. Why split it and focus only on ‘shower’ as part of the water theme?
To say the ageku is also about water is taking “the theme of water” to an extreme.
But that’s just my take on it.
“Water is of major importance to all living things; in some organisms, up to 90% of their body weight comes from water. Up to 60% of the human adult body is water.”
Looked at in this way, even our ‘love verses’ are water verses, not because of ‘petrichor’ or ‘baby shower’ but because they are centred around human beings, who are made up of 60% water!!
I’ve learnt one thing late in my life – nothing is perfect.
We have a beautiful saying in India – perfection is like the horizon – the closer you move towards it, the farther away it gets.
So take this as one of my attempts that it is not perfect – but that’s fine too!
There’s a lot of beauty in imperfection.
Now for the title:
Thanks, princess k, for “h2oetry.”
Ha ha ha! I did smile at your suggestion for a title!
Life would be so boring if all of us did the most perfect thing in all our attempts, wouldn’t it?
Thanks a million to all of you who have so graciously taken the time to tell me how much you enjoyed the journey of the last 2 months.
I personally enjoyed them, too, and spent a lot of my time each week on all the verses offered.
Thanks for answering my questions:
“I’d suggest: “An Unexpected Bloom” (we have the bloom of an aura, of an enso, of love, the surprise baby shower, the unexpected flowering of the jacarandas, and ….the zebras were caught napping.”
Your suggestion ‘An Unexpected Bloom’ for the title is a very good one.
Many of you like ‘The Moon’s Aura’ and for practical reasons I think we’ll stick to it.
One of you mentioned that it was a convention to take only the first line of the hokku as a title. I was taught that any line could be taken from the hokku, and if we are choosing the title from any other verse, it should be based on a season.
“Like some of the other people who have commented, I prefer the ebb and flow of longer forms.
As with the Yotsumono, I find the precise requirements of each verse a little stifling in these shorter forms.”
I quite understand your take. As I said in my introduction, rasika came into existence for a different reason. When teaching renku to beginners in schools and colleges or during the haiku festivals that we have in India, I felt the shortest renku, junicho, was still a wee bit too long. We can spare only about two hours for renku and John Carley’s Yotsumono (of just four verses) can’t be compared to a regular renku if one wants to learn the nuances of how to use and differentiate among season and non-season verses. The play of jo-ha-kyu: introduction, expansion and rapid closure. In rasika I’ve tried to incorporate the other verses, such as the moon, blossom and love verses, whose positions in renku are important. So I conclude that rasika is the shortest of all the renku styles using the jo-ha-kyu structure. The shorter the renku, the harder it is in many ways, because there is no space for cushioning, but I firmly believe rasika is a practical alternative to ‘live’ renku, or whenever time is short.
Here is the complete rasika:
The Moon’s Aura
— rasika, the shortest renku ever!
the moon colorized
by its aura
in one fluid stroke
we each draw an enso
of the huddled sparrows
as snow comes down hard
sea winds whistle through
the bleached bones of a whale
with its hint of petrichor
surprise baby shower
at the women’s shelter
the jacarandas bloom
a month earlier
in a baobab tree’s shade
The Moon’s Aura
A rasika renku — composed for The Haiku Foundation from 30 September to 25 November, 2021.
The renkujin as they appeared:
Laurie Greer – vs 1
Sally Biggar – vs 2
Sanjuktaa Asopa – vs 3
Kashi Reisu – vs 4
Marietta McGregor – vs 5
Chris Patchel – vs 6
Barbara A. Taylor – vs 7
Dan Campbell – vs 8
Kala Ramesh – Sabaki
With this I bid you all a fond farewell.
Thanks for such enthusiastic participation!
on a watery dais!
John Stevenson speaking: This concludes our final session for 2021. We will resume in the new year. In the meantime, please note that this renku has been added to our archive and that I would be glad to hear your suggestions about where you might like to go next, with 2022 sessions.
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct