Second Life: Japanese Haiku in Translation — “some sleep”

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1. at last
   a chance to sleep
   on this frosty night-
   scarecrow’s ripped-off sleeves

   1. at last
      a chance to sleep
      on this night of frost-
      scarecrow’s ripped-off sleeves

2. Also from Fabian Bowers Classic Tradition of Haiku (Dover Thrift Editions)
   kokoro koko ni / naki na nakanu ka / hototogisu (Ihara Saikaku
   Is my mind elsewhere? / or has it simply / not sung ? OR
   Here the mind ? / empty not within? / hototogisu

3. Yet another translation, this one by Asataro Miyamori, from a book, “Classic Haiku: An Anthology of Poems by Basho and His Followers” (Dover Publications, 2002):

   Would I might use the scarecrow’s sleeves in sleep
   As shelter from the midnight frost.

   Miyamori’s comment:

   “A humorous, fanciful verse which requires no explanation.”

   (This Dover book uses material from “An Anthology of Haiku Ancient and Modern”, first published by Maruzen Company., Ltd., Tokyo, in 1932)

4. Taking a cue from Alan Summers, I found this, from Gabi Greve’s World Kigo Database:

   借りて寝ん案山子の袖や夜半の霜
   karite nen kakashi no sode ya yowa no shimo
   – – – – – 借りて寝む karite nemu

   to sleep I want
   to borrow the sleeve of a scarecrow –
   frost at midnight

   Written between 1688 貞亨元年 and his death, probably as a text on a painting.
   Sleeping on the road, Basho was depending on the offers of his host family or lodging.

   sode 袖 can also mean the whole robe of the scarecrow.

   This is an allusion to a waka of the 古今集 Kokinshu collection .

   きりぎりす鳴くや霜夜の狭筵に衣片敷き独りかも寝む
   kirigirisu naku ya shimo-yo no samushiro ni
   koromo kata-shiki hitori kamo nemu

   When the crickets
   cry in the frosty night,
   on the cold reed-mat,
   spreading out my robe just for one
   must I sleep alone?
   Tr. Joshua S. Mostow

   https://matsuobasho-wkd.blogspot.com/2012/06/sode-and-kosode-sleeve.html

   1. “sode 袖 can also mean the whole robe of the scarecrow.”

      This answers my question about the possibility that Basho may have been referring to the entire robe of the scarecrow.

5. Third time lucky posting this, fingers crossed! 🙂

   re:

   借りて寝ん案山子の袖や夜半の霜

   karite nen kakashi no sode ya yowa no shimo

   Matsuo Bashō 芭蕉

   .
   The haikai verse was written between 1688 and his death
   an allusion to a waka of the 古今集 Kokinshu collection .

   きりぎりす鳴くや霜夜の狭筵に衣片敷き独りかも寝む
   kirigirisu naku ya shimo-yo no samushiro ni
   koromo kata-shiki hitori kamo nemu

   .
   袖 = sleeve of a kimono

   possibly padded sleeves of a winter kimono?

   .

   Various online translation results:

   .

   The scarecrow’s sleeve and the frost in the middle of the night

   Borrowed and slept on Yamako’s sleeves and midnight frost

   Rent and sleep Anzanko’s sleeves and midnight frost

   Sleeping in the Sleeves of a Scarecrow and the Frost of the Night

   .

   借りる to borrow; to have a loan​

   借り手 borrower

   .

   re the English ‘version’:
   .

   I’d borrow them and get some sleep — that scarecrow’s sleeves; nighttime frost

   .

   Using perceived ‘breaks’ and a correction:

   .

   I’d borrow them
   and get some sleep —
   that scarecrow’s sleeves;
   night-time frost

   .

   It feels like a convoluted translation or transliteration.

   If the author, who is known to embellish the facts as he was writing a ‘faction’ piece rather than an autobiographical or accurate representation of a travel piece, might have simply put on the scarecrow’s jacket or top (shirt). In order for any of us to put on a sleeved type of top, universally, we slide our arms “through” the sleeves.

   I guess the idea is that Matsuo Bashō either took (permanently borrowed) or temporarily borrowed, the shirt off a scarecrow’s back. Put his arms through the sleeves, wearing it normally as a top, with his arms crossed across his face to add protection against the bitter night/midnight frost as he might have been in a barn open to the elements?

   Sure you could roll up or fold the top as a bedroll for the head, but I guess he’s suggesting he put on an extra top for the frosty night as the scarecrow’s “fully clothed effect” is more for the daylight hours, so first thing pre-daybreak he could have snuck the top/kimono back onto the scarecrow for the farmer’s fields to continue to be protected by a crow scarer.

   .

   I’d personally attempt to create a new poem rather than a translation. And let readers know and keep the Japanese characters and romaji to do their own research and comparisons.

   .
   e.g.

   .

   borrowed shirt
   the scarecrow won’t miss it
   for a frosty night

   borrowed shirt
   a scarecrow won’t miss it
   for the midnight frost

   sleeves a little short
   snatching sleep overnight
   as a scarecrow

   midnight frost
   asleep in a scarecrow’s clothes
   sleeves a little short

   midnight frost
   asleep in a scarecrow’s clothes
   padded sleeves

   padded sleeves
   borrowed from a scarecrow
   midnight frost

   kind regards,
   Alan

   1. Alan’s hopeful phrase of his own ‘fingers crossed’ introduced into my thoughts on this scene that the tiny individual particles of frost are being compared to the crossed sleeves of the scarecrow’s clothing. The daytime wind which flapped the sleeves into an X shape has dropped, given way to a hard midnight (one day crossing over into the next?)frost so they now retain their X shape. So I see this poem as a comparison of the frost’s sparkly X (or double X looking like a star. And stars being of the fire element, that contrasts with the cold weather.)

6. Glad to see this feature. Thank you. I am not a Japanese scholar, but in trying to develop some understanding from the source I often wonder to what extent a translation may be colouring the original verse, and would be grateful for elucidation.

   Question: from which character do we get the word “sleep”? I note that Reichold’s translation does not contain it, and when I toil through the Jisho dictionary I get:
   borrowing
   arm, hand, (sleeve)
   scarecrow (possessive)
   cut
   midnight (possessive) frost.

   And what are the grounds for the first person singular, please?
   Could a valid translation be:
   borrowing the scarecrow’s arms (or sleeves) / midnight frost (or ‘the frost of midnight’)

   Apologies if naive; but grateful for understanding.

   1. PS “The season word is frost (shimo), associated with winter”

      ‘scarecrow’ is also a season word — but for autumn….

   2. Keith, in reference to your question regarding the “grounds for the first person singular”, I offer the following ‘word-for-word’ (or sometimes ‘phrase-for-phrase) translation into English by Jane Reichhold:

      karite ne n / kakashi no sode ya / yowa no shimo
      borrow (speaker’s will) / scarecrow’s sleeves / midnight of frost

      It appears that Reichhold takes “ne n” to be referring to the speaker’s ‘will’, or I would say, ‘intention’, which I think is where the “I” may come from.

      [#467 on page 312, in “Basho: The Complete Haiku,” by Jane Reichhold (Kodansha International Ltd., 2008)}

      1. Thanks, Larry.

         1. I should have said the “I” is implied.

7. Blyth’s translation:

   Frost at midnight:
   I would sleep, borrowing
   The sleeves of the scarecrow.

   Barnhill’s translation:

   I’d like to sleep
   borrowing the scarecrow’s clothes—
   midnight frost

   Reichhold’s translation:

   I want to borrow
   the scarecrow’s sleeves
   midnight frost

   1. So, I’m wondering–are ‘sleeves’, in this context, a ‘synecdoche’ for ‘clothes’? Or does Basho literally mean ‘sleeves’?

8. Wonder if the haiku could be read like this:

   borrowing some sleep
   in the scarecrow’s sleeves
   midnight frost

   1. I like the idea of “borrowing some sleep”, even though that differs a little from Basho’s original. It reminds me of how Robin D. Gill, in his translations, provides two or three, or even four, slightly different English translations of the same Japanese haiku, exploring the implications of the original haiku.

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