re:Virals 485

Welcome to re:Virals, The Haiku Foundation’s weekly commentary feature on some of your favorites among the best contemporary haiku and senryu written in English. This week’s poem, chosen by Linda Powers O’Dell, was:

     
he plays the piano
before and after
I say yes...
— Sharon Ferrante
  Leaf, Issue 5, December 2024

Introducing this poem, Linda writes:

This brilliant, subtle haiku poses many questions just as the new year does. As it sets a dramatic scene, different readers will have different interpretations of what has happened. This adds to the mystery.

Opening comment:

A delicately indelicate senryu, ichibutsujitate (one theme, thing, image, or part) in form. Written as a continuous sentence without a formal cut, it nevertheless contains a juxtaposition: the state of mind of the male pianist and of his (lady) listener before, as contrasted with after, her response to his question. The identity of the poet is integral to how a reader construes the meaning. There’s a delightful space for us to fill.

For one thing, the nature of the question, or even whether it is asked out loud or with the eyes and a nod alone, is a matter for conjecture.   With a female poet,  conventionally to “say yes” first brings to mind a marriage proposal, for instance.  Yet here is no circumstance to suggest such a formal proposition. Neither does it sound like an invitation to a concert, or dinner, or an enquiry as to whether it’s raining outside; or even whether he’s playing it right.  It suggests more an opening to love.  And now, we have the pianist perhaps playing some gentle, seductive movement that shows his sensitivity and skill; and when she, or her glance, signals receptiveness, the tone changes – to what? Even softer? Or possibly accelerando, con abbandono, even acceso. Human mating behaviour can be delicate as the bird of paradise.

If one is looking for a Japanese aesthetic to characterise this  verse, in good taste, stylish, and a little coquettish, it would be the somewhat nebulous “iki” ( 粋 ). Derived from the delicate erotic relations between rich merchants and geisha in Edo’s floating world, the dictionary gives among meanings: chic; smart; stylish; tasteful; refined; sophisticated; and also: familiar with worldly pleasures (esp. sexual relations).  In his work “The Structure of Iki (Iki no kōzō)”, Kuki Shūzō comments that although the French terms chic, coquet, and raffiné share connotations with the term iki, no European word is capable of translating its rich meanings.

It is, beyond doubt, suggestive. Play it again, Sam.

Zoltán Pachnik :

Enclosed / his piano playing / in her double “yes”… Again Sharon does not let the tide of high frequencies evaporate without showing her presence….In this capsule of beauty we can survive our journey which is absolutely like witnessing how the universe works.

Amoolya Kamalnath:

A run-on sentence-like senryu leaving the reader asking for more or to continue forming their own story.

What tune did he play before and what tune did he play after? Was it the same or different? What if she had said ‘no’? Would he have still played the piano?

Is he a musician or he just likes to play the piano? I imagine a magical candle-lit evening with the soulful piano music and then following the proposal and acceptance, a fine drink and sumptuous dinner.

I’ve always been fascinated by the piano and those who can play the piano. We had a teacher in lower kindergarten in our convent school whose name was Miss Truth. She played the piano as she sang and taught us rhymes. I’ve always wanted to learn to play the piano and I hope to do it someday.

Melissa Dennison:

I like the sense of mystery that this creates. Who is the ‘he’ playing the piano? Is it a musician in a restaurant? or the husband to be? Or am I making assumptions as to what she is saying yes to?

There is a nice bit of alliteration in the first line, and rhythm that reflects the subject matter quite nicely.

Finally we have the concept of time, of past, present and future, conveyed by these 3 lines, we are in the present moment watching this proposal unfold. There are also the seconds before she says yes and those which follow, conveyed by line two.

A profound and transformative moment, where two lives are changed forever, and the music plays on. Bravo!

Lakshmi Iyer:

Getting permission to play her piano or her favourite song, picture his deep gratitude and appreciation. The ellipsis at the end is a continuous effort to keep playing or practicing to enhance a positive impact in the space between them. Either it’s a relationship of a student and a teacher or two lovers. It may also be an aged couple; one bedridden and the other giving company by playing the piano.

The weight of the haiku lies in the word ‘yes’! The rest is understood. I have a feeling of karumi – it is deep and yet softly handled.

Lakshman Bulusu:

Stirring the senses, he plays melodious music so skillfully that the listener is captivated and gives consent. It rings in the listener’s ears both before as an early tone and after as a lingering tone and never stops.

Ashoka Weerakkody is tangentially mesmerized:

Sharon Ferrante may as well be sitting mesmerized before a pianist, performing piece after piece, classical and/or romantic compositions coming from a golden era of orchestral music the Western world has now left to rest in piece (sic).  Maybe the recitals are all piped out of an olden golden platter, an LP or EP  album which sold over a million copies in the seventies, now curated by today’s faithful lovers of that immortal music who also compose memorable haiku!

“he plays the piano / before and after / I say yes … ” writes the haikuist and the scenario of a gulf of separation between the pianist and the haikuist is all too apparent.  Haikuist and the audience as a whole, is just one integral here I dare say.   It so happens too, as in a full house of hundred odd souls, one becomes lost within the own self when the music engulfs Mind and Body slowly, softly and discreetly as happens here in the brief haiku moment we are led into by author Sharon Ferrante.

Something I have noticed (somewhat myth stricken) is that the name of an author, composer or artist (or just any artiste of such disciplines) comes close behind the creation he or she brings out, aiding and abetting in the ‘marketing’ side if it, ‘marketing’ might well be replaced by an appropriate word which drives home the sense of being the attraction, appeal, or mutual induction between the creator and creation that resonates within the subjective mind of recipient, the ‘audience’ out there. A seamless merger of the poem with the poet’s unseen personality contained within the name, its auditory effect, specially, makes up the energy that transmits the poem, verse or music piece far and deep (at least I think so).  And here’s a poem and a poet that goes in well with that ‘theory’ I believe in.

But the most lingering thought this haiku brings to my mind can never be expressed without revealing the imposing presence of that great immortal composer the West has produced in the nineteenth century who is known to have produced the best of his compositions with unabating deafness! The most celebrated deafness the world has ever recorded, no doubt.

Yes, who else could the author be saying “yes” to, out of his hearing?!

Author Sharon Ferrante:

This poem came to be from a dream I had, about a pianist. The dream was in bits and pieces, but he did give me a proposal, not a marriage proposal, but of the intimate kind. With a piano in the room, I told him I would agree to his proposal if he played the piano for me, before and after. I was happy how the poem came out suggestive and open. The only revision I did was the ellipses after yes…I thought it would add to the suggestive nature of the poem.

Thanks to all who sent commentaries. As the contributor of the commentary reckoned best this week, for its fanciful imaginative scope to which the poem was open,  Ashoka  has chosen next week’s poem, which you’ll find below. We invite you to write a commentary to it. It may be short, or of moderate length, academic, your personal response, spontaneous, or idiosyncratic.  As long as it focuses on the verse presented, and with respect for the poet, all genuine reader reaction and pertinent discussion is of value.   Out-takes are kept in the THF Archives.  Best of all, the chosen commentary’s author gets to pick the next poem.

Anyone can participate. Simply use the re:Virals commentary form below to enter your commentary on the new week’s poem (“Your text”) by the following Tuesday midnight, Eastern US Time Zone, and then press Submit to send your entry. The Submit button will not be available until Name, Email, and Place of Residence fields are filled in. We look forward to seeing your commentary and finding out about your favourite poems.

Poem for commentary:

garden party
between conversations
dusk chorus
— Tuyet Van Do
  Time Haiku issue 60, August 2024 and Akita International Haiku Network "Haiku Beyond Earth" issue, 22 December 2024.

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Footnote:

Bio: Sharon Ferrante lives in Daytona Beach, Florida with her husband and 6 cats. Her poems have appeared in many anthologies, online journals and magazines. Her work is rooted in mystery, magick, fancy and whimsy. After discovering the short-form poetry, she fell in love with haiku, tanka and cherita forms.

I can add that Sharon has become a prolific writer of these forms and is fast developing her own characteristic, independent voice.

Sharon published Six Senryu For Erotica on November 11, 2024 in Rattle, where she commented:
“I write poetry because the poem tells me to. It’s like a door I run through in the night: it’s always open, filled with chatter.”

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As yet another example of the many splendid and remarkable achievements of the human race, albeit without iki, you might enjoy “piano playing with balls” on YouTube. Yes or no?