re:Virals 484

Welcome to re:Virals, The Haiku Foundation’s weekly commentary feature.  All good wishes for the season.  This fortnight’s poem, by way of change, was:

とし神やことしも御世話下さるる
toshi-gami ya kotoshi mo o-sewa kudasaruru
O New Year's god
this year too
send help!
—Issa tr. Lanoue

Readers were invited to submit a commentary of no more than forty words on Issa’s poem along with a New Year’s haiku/senryu of their own, one to be selected for comment.

Opening comment (40 words):

Pure Land Buddhist Issa respectfully invokes Shinto Toshigami (gods of New Year), an example of Japanese syncretism. Buddhism deals with enlightenment and rebirth, Shinto animism with matters of this world. His heartfelt plea is timeless and surely applies to 2025.

Selected entry — Lakshmi Iyer (38 words):

There is so much of genuine innocence in the prayer. A childlike voice heard in our inner conscience. I still have this prayer on my lips. There is no age limit for such prayers. Its instant! Its natural!

And Lakshmi’s poem:

new year night
moon-faced grand-twins
hold me tight
— Lakshmi Iyer, India

Commentary:  Lakshmi’s poem has sincerity, charm, and heart.  The passing of the year, the passing of generations; love and comfort together, countering  the trepidation with which we ourselves face a future of uncertainty and worry about what it may hold for the little children.  A sweetly composed, sonorous haiku with a pleasing rhythm, a little alliteration, the paired hyphens breaking step and drawing out the line when sounded, and an endearing unforced rhyme to boot.

Thanks to all who sent entries. We now revert to the normal series with the poem chosen by the winner of re:Virals 482, Linda Powers O’Dell, which you’ll find below. We invite you to write a commentary to it. It may be short, or of moderate length, academic, your personal response, spontaneous, or idiosyncratic.  As long as it focuses on the verse presented, and with respect for the poet, all genuine reader reaction and pertinent discussion is of value.   Out-takes are kept in the THF Archives.  Best of all, the chosen commentary’s author gets to pick the next poem.

Anyone can participate. Simply use the re:Virals commentary form below to enter your commentary on the new week’s poem (“Your text”) by the following Tuesday midnight, Eastern US Time Zone, and then press Submit to send your entry. The Submit button will not be available until Name, Email, and Place of Residence fields are filled in. We look forward to seeing your commentary and finding out about your favourite poems.

Poem for commentary:

     
he plays the piano
before and after
I say yes...
— Sharon Ferrante
  Leaf, Issue 5, December 2024

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy.

Footnote:

I know from background correspondence that some readers are fascinated by Japanese aesthetics (as I am).  Aesthetics, as a means to analyse and describe art and beauty, is a Western philosophical concept from the 1700s onwards, imported by Japan in the 1800s.  However there was already a long tradition of artistic commentary in the refined Japanese arts.   It might be more accurate to describe the characteristics valued in Japanese artistic tradition, then dub them ‘aesthetics.’  There is a long list of them culled from various sources.  No one haiku can possibly embody them all, and it might be unwise to focus unduly, let alone definitively, on any one of them, such as sabi or yūgen.  Equally valued terms that might apply to Lakshmi’s poem, for example, would be:

kanso (simplicity)
en (charm)
atarashimi (freshness, novelty)
makoto (sincerity)
sōō (appropriate to context, fitting-ness)
kokoro (heart)
mujō (transience)
yojō (suggestiveness, extra meaning)

…although it might get a few marks deducted for its symmetry; fukinsei (asymmetry, irregularity) being another prized Japanese aesthetic, one that sits at odds with hallowed poetic traditions in English.

There isn’t — as far as I can ascertain – a Japanese poetic aesthetic for assonance and rhyme, although:

—the likes of Bashō attributed importance to how a verse sounds

—there are several examples of apparently conscious use of rhyme among the acknowledged masters  whether you call it assonance, consonance or repetition

—rhyme was a feature in Chinese poetry before import into Japan.  Some masters — including Shiki — made use of it in some of their poetry; others tried their hand in Japanese characters at the tight rhyme schemes of some Chinese forms.

There are descriptive terms for assonance such as oto no ruiji or bo’in’in or the more literary ruiin ( “rhyme-type” or “sound-type”) but they wouldn’t qualify as ‘valued characteristics’  in the Japanese literature in which we’re interested.  But then, neither are they deprecated.  And we are writing in English…

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Among other entries were:

Melissa Dennison:

Every culture has its new year traditions. Some of these may seem strange, when you don’t know the meaning. Using humour Issa reveals a deeper truth – human frailty and our desire for better days.

first foot in…
why am I handing mum
a lump of coal?

Herb Tate:

Issa’s haiku suggests to me that whether a culture lends itself to one God or millions there is always another opportunity for pleas for assistance to fall on deaf ears. Perhaps there’s another way…

first sunrise
where the gods used to be
smiley face

Fatma Zohra Habis:

A year has passed, and after reflecting on the accomplishments made, the new year arrives with fresh resolutions aimed at correcting past mistakes and utilizing remaining personal strengths to achieve new goals.

new year’s moon
shines with a different light
new paths

Hugo Alrøe:

Issa’s quiet haiku turns on his continued hardship, once again having to pray for help from the harvest deity to endure the coming year. A somewhat more literal translation could be:  new year’s god . . . / please help this year / as well

the new year
new trees new hills
the other way round

Amoolya Kamalnath:

(chuckle) Issa thinks what occured the previous year is what will follow into this new year too. In a subtle way, he takes a dig at the ‘gods’ and probably the celebration of the arrival of a new year too.

not making resolutions
this new year; I wake up
with the first sunrays

Lakshman Bulusu (way over 40 words):

This piece is an ardent prayer to the God of New Year, the creator and sustainer of the universe. I appreciate how Issa deftly entwines the kigo of ‘New Year’ season with divinity or ‘belonging to the Heavens’—the ethereal nature meets the spiritual in nature.. And the one praying is asking for help by lifting the burden of difficulties in his/her life the current year too like He has helped in previous years.  It is New Year and he/she wants to see his/her life blossom like a new flower or be fulfilled with new opportunities .

The word ‘year’ in L2 repeats the seasonal reference and by followed by ‘too’ makes the haiku though simple in words yet strong in meaning and clarity.

The one liner in Japanese, though presented in three lines in English has the perfect ‘kire’.

—

Editorial note on Lakshman’s last sentence:
The kire or cut: here the kireji or cutting-word “ya” (や) has no substantive meaning but creates a pause, highlights imagery, or enhances emotional resonance. It can express an exclamation or a sense of wonder, evoking an emotional response. In haiku, kireji expressing wonder can also serve to cue the presence and role of the poet in an otherwise detached verse. In everyday Japanese usage “ya” is an interjection, as in “ah!” or “oh!” in English.