The Renku Sessions: Triparshva — call for hokku
Welcome to the third Renku Session. I’m Linda Papanicolaou, and I’ll be leading this journey in collaborative poetry. Triparshva is a 22-verse form developed by Norman Darlington in 2005. It’s a good form for composing online because it moves more quickly than the 36-verse kasen, while also following the jo-ha-kyu (beginning-development-rapid closure) pattern of traditional renku. So whether you’re new to renku, or simply want to keep your skills honed, you’re especially encouraged to join us.
Triparshva is a three-sided renku form. “Side” refers to recto or verso of the paper on which the verses were written. Within the jo-ha-kyu structure, each side has its own character. A common analogy is that the poem is like the gathering or party at which renku were traditionally written. In the first side, jo, guests are arriving, greeting the host and each other, and the conversation is still politely cordial and somewhat formal. As you’ll see, that will affect the subject matter and diction of the verses I’ll be selecting for this first side. No unpleasant, controversial or edgy topics, experimental or minimalist language just yet, please — the time for those will come when we get to side 2, ha, when the party warms up.
The jo leads off with a trio of important verses, hokku, wakiku and daisan. The first of these verses, the hokku, has a privileged function for the entire renku. It’s a three-line verse with a cut that gives it the fragment/phrase structure we know from haiku. For renku parties of the Edo period it would be composed by an honored guest. In elegant, implied metaphor it complimented the host, set the occasion in time and place, and provided an auspicious beginning for the evening’s endeavors. We won’t replicate the guest-host exchange but we do want an auspicious beginning. In other words, the hokku will be our “call to renku.”
How shall we set a starting season for a renku composed in cyberspace? As the previous two Renku Sessions have shown, there’s no one right way to handle this. In any case, once past the opening verses, the problem resolves itself as we’re all writing out of season. Given the importance of the hokku in giving direction to the entire renku, I’ve considered carefully and opted for a Summer Triparshva because that’s the current season in the temperate zones of North America where I live.
Accordingly, submissions for the hokku should evidence the following bulleted characteristics. Let’s see what you all can come up with to get us started!
- Three lines in short/long/short form, and an internal cut (the only verse in renku that does have a cut)
- Upbeat imagery that conveys a sense of gathering, of calling us to renku
- A clear and unambiguous season reference to Summer (though preferably one that does not actually use the name of the season)
How to submit:
All verse positions in this renku will be degachi (competitive). Please post your offers in the Comments section below. Calls for submissions will remain open for one week, at the end of which I’ll collect everyone’s ideas, consider each and choose the one that best serves the renku.
This first call, for the hokku, will remain open until Monday, June 29, 2015 at midnight (EDT).
Links and resources:
- If you’re just joining us, please take a moment to review my introductory post
- For a discussion of the hokku, wakiku and daisan in renku, see John Carley, “Renku: Beginnings and Endings” in Simply Haiku 2.1, January-February 2004)
- This renku will follow a schema by Norman Darlington. The layout for a Summer Triparshva may be found by reading down the second column from the right.
- If you don’t already have a favorite saijiki (season word list), here are a few of my favorites that are readily available online:
- Kenkichi Yamamoto, “The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words,” tr. Kris Kondo and William J. Higginson, online at Renku Home (2000, updated 2005)
- ” The Yuki Teikei Season Word List”, online at Yuki Teikei Haiku Society, 1997.
- World Kigo Database, ed. Gabi Greve, also includes links to a number of regional kigo lists and saijiki.
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for wakiku
***
***
the smell of grill smoke
on the 4th of July
I am not sure if you are still open to hokku offerings. It is not yet a week from the 25th, but it is after 29th midnight 🙂 For what it is worth, here is my offer
sand castles—
we make another
fresh start
Hi, Linda.
Thanks for doing this!
The Yuki Teikei link above generated a “site not available message” for me.
Mary
Hi Mary,
.
Try this link:
.
http://youngleaves.org/season-word-list/
.
.
warm regards,
.
Alan
wedding march in the garden-
brides’ veils shine
under the sun
wedding ceremony
the brides’ veils bright
in the sunlight
cloudless sky
unfolding our beach chairs
along the shore
a cuckoo sings
the darkness of leaves
before dawn
open-air concert
fireflies flicker
among the notes
rainbows
the continental divide
behind us
suncaught
the catch basin slowly fills
with rainbows
roses blooming . . .
her graduation party
in our garden
the ripest,
reddest, juiciest, sweetest . . .
strawberry
solstice . . .
carnies setting up
a ferris wheel
My offers:
***
giggles and knees …
one more squeezes under
the beach umbrella
*
distant voices –
swimmers start a game
of Marco Polo
*
floating the river …
beer in the ice chest
in an inner tube
Hi Linda,
my offering:
*
yoga class –
a lizard changes
the pose
Hi Linda,
Thanks for leading us!
My offer:
.
riding the wind
on an elephant so high …
cicadas’ song
.
_kala
cloud peaks
grad caps tossed
towards the sky
collection of cards
and letters on the table
fragrance of roses
fledglings arrive
on the first warm day
a pool party
for Triparshva renku — hokku?
backlit clouds
hot pink crepe myrtle
bending low
***
bright-sky lake
the two young loons
learning to fish
***
puffy clouds
each bee heavy laden
with pollen
planets align
in a dark sky the glow
of s’mores smiles
new and old friends
meet again to learn and write
roses in bloom
pennants flapping
the excursion boat toots
to depart
counting fireflies
a worthy pursuit for
a back porch poet
rewrite of form
counting fireflies
a worthy pursuit
for a back porch poet
g’day Linda,
Thanks for leading us on this trip. Looking forward to the journey.
Hokku offers:
glassy lake of peace
an elegant swan swims
through cloud peaks
~
fragrant breezes–
exchanging stories
on our lush lawn
~
billowing waves
the changing horizon
as we sail forth
~
bride and groom
their first dance together
in the sunlight
wishful expressions
the large print
on name cards
wishful expressions
the large print
on namecards
our gathering
interrupting theirs
squirrels scold
or
one chair short
latecomer
sits on the grass
WHAT?
My two Emails this morning, One to Linda and the other with three candidate hock, were posted, and now went poof!
Hey Dave?!?
— {Paul MacNeil)
Hi Paul:
It seems you posted your candidate hokku to the other blog post about the new renku session—please repost them here so Linda will have them all in one place for her consideration. Thanks!
j
seagulls pinwheel
we join the sprint
for the beach ball
a bowl of cherries
sitting on each white plate
someone’s name
after so many
inferior mirages
festival lights
-Patrick
open window-
rose fragrance coming in
before the guests
or
the camp fire light-
juveniles listening to
old love stories
or
the first picnic-
all the guets feel just like
at their own home
and the last
the best gift
for a new building-
Japanese roses
first moth . . .
the guests are greeted
one by one
Cajun music
over the picnic tables
boiled crayfish!
Love it