James W. Hackett

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1. Blossoms that held bees
   now leave with the gentle breeze
   from butterfly wings.
   — James W. Hackett

   In this lyrical verse the end-rhyme is not ornamental, but smoothing and soothing, underpinning this delicate, barely-perceptible progression of the seasons. The transient blossoms have fulfilled their purpose, attracting pollinators. We softly, sympathetically, bid them adieu as they flutter down. Not so much an “aha!” moment, as an “aaah…” moment. I was dismissive of this verse when I first read it some years ago, but it has steadily grown on me for its beauty, and its sweet little rhyme has helped to make it memorable in English ears. I must be getting old.

   It also brings to mind two classic haiku:

   A fallen flower
   Returning to the branch?
   It was a butterfly.
   —Moritake tr. Blyth

   The scent of orchid
   Comes from the Butterfly wings
   Perfumed by the flowers!
   —Bashō tr. Oseko

   The rejection in much of the ELH community of 5-7-5 as a ‘rule’ has led many of us towards ever more minimalist verses in English. And even, sometimes, to an explicit editorial exclusion of 5-7-5 syllables, which seems an arbitrary, unnecessary and counterproductive over-reaction. After all, if you’re writing about Mount Popocatépetl that’s seven syllables shot already. There can be a price to pay in the search for concise purity, for extreme brevity, in what we still like to call poetry. Perhaps a haiku should be ‘just as long as it needs to be,’ while still sounding natural and unforced, each word worth its weight; and the whole pleasing to the ear as well as the mind.

   1. It was a wonderful treat to spend time with James and Patricia Hackett in Japan, just the three of us while others were involved elsewhere. He’s been a great influence and a treat to meet one of my heroes in person!

      .

      lazy afternoon–
      I drift along with the breeze
      and dandelion seeds

      Alan Summers

      First publication credit: Aesthetics journal (Bath Spa University 2007)
      Anthology: Haiku Friends 2 ed. Masaharu Hirata (Japan 2007)
      Feature: see haiku here, Haiga artwork by Kuniharu Shimizu (Tokyo, Japan 2010)

      .

      Not quite a 575!

      I guess if that had been more important than the poem itself I could. have gone with:

      lazy afternoon–
      I drift along with a breeze
      and the dandelion seeds

      Although visually it’s not as appealing.

      Para-rhyme aka half-rhyme is a potent device in haiku along with choices of full rhyme, as well as consonance, assonance, alliteration, and what is the term for consonant and vowel sound combined?

      1. Last question: if you mean the run-on sound between a word ending in a consonant and the next word starting with a vowel, perhaps ‘catenation?’ Which might bring up with it concatenation or chaining. I don’t think there’s been a Frogpond essay on that yet! Over to you, Alan…

         1. I meant the run-on sound between two words starting with the same consonant and vowel.

            I was trying to remember or think up an example and kept thinking of “wi”!
            e.g. winter and … Though it’s not that easy.

            So we have various types of alliteration.
            While assonance and consonance are fairly straightforward, as are half-rhymes and full rhymes.

            It might have to a neologism once I can re-locate those first two letter combination words!

            If I ever crack it, perhaps a micro-article rather than another essay challenge! (smiles)

            Latin is my friend!
            consonans et vocalis rithmus = consonvocalisrithmus = consovocrithmus (which also means common friend apparently) and also communis amicus.

            consovorithmus = consovorhythm = consovrithmus

            Clunky but a work in progress!

            1. winter wind
               forsaking foreign shores
               for Forfar
               ?

            2. re:
               winter wind
               forsaking foreign shores
               for Forfar

               It reminds me of Jack and the Beanstalk!
               Alas only been to Edinburgh for a riotous weekend with Steve Martin, and Carebears movie marathon, lived in Glasgow, and did renku, ginko etc… in Aberdeen on Samurai Day!

               I looked up winter and was astonished that ‘wi’ is often pronounced with a ‘wee’ sound instead of ‘whirr’ so must be my upbringing?

               So depending on who’s speaking, “winter wind” can work as [a] consovrithmus!

               winter sting
               fee-fi-fo-fum and fur
               how much further

               Not sure we are in Samuel Johnson or Bill Shakespeare country just yet, literary wise. Even Val McDermid might look at us askance and she’s murder to please!

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