Haiku For Parkinson’s: H4P Course Final Update—Sonam Chhoki

Haiku for Parkinson’s (H4P) was a year-long feature of The Haiku Foundation, introducing haiku to those of us living with Parkinson’s Disease (PD) and introducing PD to those ‘living with haiku.’ An intrinsic part of this feature was the free email course introducing haiku to those affected by Parkinson’s, which was taught by renowned poet and editor Sonam Chhoki. This is her Final Update, a moving, thoughtful, generous description, including a questionnaire answered by the course participants and their wonderful poems about their unique experiences through the lens of haiku.

You will find previous posts from this series here.

Sonam Chhoki writes:

It’s almost a year to the day when this H4P course by email began. What credentials did I have for it? Some of the poets rightly asked if I had Parkinson’s and if the course was a way of dealing with it. I don’t have Parkinson’s and accepted Stella’s invitation to contribute to her H4P initiative in late 2023, deeply moved by her articles describing in poignant details the various symptoms and the challenges of this condition. Why one year? Given the complex range of symptoms of Parkinson’s and also, that those interested, might be new to haiku, it seemed sensible to have a flexible and lengthy slot of time.

13 potential participants contacted me about the course. Some withdrew due to family and medical circumstances. A schedule was set up depending on the individual needs of the participants, which eventually panned out to be a weekly contact. Each week some sent ten to twelve poems, others two or more. With those who had written and published haiku it was a case of tweaking a few details. With the participants who were trying their hand at haiku for the first time it was as much a discovery of the nuances of the form for me as it might have been for them. We re-visited the Masters, both contemporary and classical, to explore simile, metaphor, rhythm and enjambment in haiku.

There were times when the contact stopped due to bereavement in the family, medical procedures or “difficult” days. During such hiatuses I sent prompts. These included haiku by the Masters (to inspire) and a few of mine (to say it doesn’t have to be perfect). In addition to writing haiku, we also explored the possibility of publishing and both Margaret and Buffy have had poems published during the time of this course. Buffy’s sister, Susan Shutt who has Parkinson’s sent a few poignant haiku from Queretaro, Mexico.

To conclude this year-long project I sent the poets some questions. Tania Haberland, who looks after her father with Parkinson’s, lost her mother during this course. She understandably decided not to participate but sent her final impressions. A notable absence is Simon Duncan, who was one of the first to sign up. Simon died unexpectedly in early January and his partner, Frances Cleaver has very kindly given permission for the inclusion of his haiku in this final update.

1. This course is specifically by email. How did it work for you? Was haiku an effective way of writing about the complex and difficult issues around Parkinson’s?

Jennifer Pacini: Email worked well for me. I liked that I could learn from a teacher I would not otherwise have had the opportunity to work with.

Haiku allowed me to write about the complex and difficult issues around Parkinson’s through a different lens. It sometimes felt as though Parkinson’s and I were having a dialogue, even when Parkinson’s wasn’t directly referenced in the haiku.

Margaret Ponting: I found the email approach worked very well as it was immediate, a creative outlet, and allowed room for feedback and comments. I was thrilled to hear back from Sonam. I did find haiku an effective way of writing as it enabled me to focus on general details without being too specific and upsetting. It helped me track progress and the way the person responded to the disease in such a brave and determined manner, not letting Parkinson’s define him. It was also a distraction to write about many different topics more traditional to haiku, the mindfulness aspect giving me the opportunity to see my environment from a joyful perspective and level of appreciation.

Buffy Shutt: Very well. Sonam is responsive and an excellent communicator.

Was haiku an effective way of writing about the complex and difficult issues around Parkinson’s? This is a complex question, but let me say that haiku is an effective way of writing about the issues around Parkinson’s and helped to stimulate conversation between myself and my sister who has Parkinson’s.

Svetla Mirov: It allowed space and flexibility which worked well for me; a format blended with on-line sharing  with other willing participants would make it more stimulating.

Was haiku an effective way of writing about the complex and difficult issues around Parkinson’s? Not entirely for me as I struggled to put powerful emotions and memories into a short form.

2. Did you find it useful to write and communicate with a stranger?

Jennifer Pacini: Sonam didn’t feel like a stranger for very long. She felt like a wise and compassionate teacher who was open to and supportive of my personal experience of the process of writing and editing haiku.

Margaret Ponting: Sonam has a very compassionate and thoughtful nature and was sensitive to my needs. I think it was a good idea for me to state at the outset that I am a private person in many ways. By the end of the year, I didn’t feel we were strangers, more like acquaintances from different countries and cultures who shared a love of many similar things, I guess, not just writing.

Buffy Shutt: From the very first email, Sonam was a mentor, a teacher; never a stranger.

Svetla Mirov: It was great to cross borders and share.

3. The course has run for a year. Do you think a different time frame might have worked better?

Jennifer Pacini: I feel that a year of mentoring was a generous gift. I value the time I was able to participate.

Margaret Ponting: I think the course needed to be run over a year so we could develop a mentoring relationship, to improve technique and try different approaches/topics. The more I learn about Japanese forms of poetry, I find there is so much more to discover. Too many rules can be confusing, so it was helpful not to focus too much on them. At first, I couldn’t see myself continuing, because I had never written haiku before but gradually became more immersed and confident to challenge myself. Having Sonam guide me to make decisions for myself and submit haiku for publication made me see further possibilities. It was also a way of facing up to the challenges that people living with the disease encounter on a daily basis. Running the course over the year lends itself to writing haiku on the traditional topic of the changing seasons.

Buffy Shutt: I joined well into the program, so I didn’t participate for a full year, but I think the extended period allows a writer to grow, learn, experiment and appreciate revision.

Svetla Mirov: I joined half-way through, probably a whole year would be sufficient but developing a longer course may work too, depending on the structure.

4.  If there is one thing that you could change about it what would that be?

Jennifer Pacini: I think it was perfect as is. I’ve valued other courses that included sharing poetry with others in the course and hope to participate in more. However, through this course, I was able to have a different, more intimate, one-on-one experience. It felt very safe.

Margaret Ponting: I wouldn’t change much. I think it depends on your level of experience-I wanted to read writing by others as I progressed, so being advised of sites where poetry is published might be helpful to some participants. I enjoyed writing for the world event [eclipse] and maybe another collaborative poem would be great. I also like the topic suggestions in Asahi Haikuist for inspiration. I think if there is a reason a participant can’t write regularly, a courtesy note might be useful.

Buffy Shutt: I don’t think I would change anything. Perhaps I would be more disciplined and find ways to keep my sister writing more consistently. Perhaps, but I am not at all certain about this, but now and then to be asked to write to a prompt might be a good addition.

Svetla Mirov: An opportunity to share with others – from the course and the THF.

5. What expectations did you have about this course? Did this change during your writing?

Jennifer Pacini: The safety of the one-on-one experience gave me the courage to be more experimental. Sonam’s feedback and sharing of her own haiku and those of other more experienced poets helped me see my own haiku in new and exciting ways.

Margaret Ponting: I didn’t really have any expectations, just had a ‘give it a go’ attitude, so it ended up being such a more worthwhile experience than I could have imagined and strengthened my relationship with family and friends by sharing much of my writing with them. Their support gave me the incentive to keep trying to improve my technique and to add images to other forms of poetry. It was rewarding to have haiku published, too and see how people from all over the world can share similar thoughts and experiences. I don’t think my progress has been linear and sometimes I am pleased with my efforts, other times not so much. I find that researching some of the first Nations legends, for example about native birds and animals, has been stimulating and well received by readers from other countries because of their uniqueness and they seem to lend themselves to haiku structure. For example, a Noongar legend about the magpie [koolbardi] and why it warbles to celebrate daybreak, as it cleverly used a stick to lift the sky from the earth, thus letting the sunshine in:

break of day
the koolbardis sing
lifting the sky

Buffy Shutt: I did not have specific expectations about the course. My expectations centered around hoping my sister would engage with the notion of writing haiku and having the haiku lovingly read and critiqued was a blessing. My sister loved the program but as many know there was a learning curve as she had not previously read or written haiku.

Svetla Mirov: I was hoping to get constructive critique, and process memories and feelings about my brother’s illness and passage, write for him. Did this change during your writing? At times, yes, it led to exploring other ideas about childhood, emotional charge of colours.

6. Please would you share a few of your favourite poems.

Jennifer Pacini:

Parkinson’s —
I don’t recall consenting
to this

guarding
eggs that never hatch
a pair of bald eagles

above the undertow
gliding in formation
giant pelicans

a gift
in the morning sun
your eyelash on the pillow

Margaret Ponting:

old blue heeler by his side
a queue of cows
await evening milking

on the lotus flower
a dragonfly hovers
iridescent wings

we share our feelings
step by step
rhythm of a sister’s love

the local choir
in singing
I find joy and escape

a praying mantis
my brother jokes
about his uneven gait

we thread daisy chains
of memories
from sepia photos

night echoes
in the darkness
a cuckoo’s call

Signing off with an Aussie expression ‘Good on Ya.’

Buffy Shutt: My haiku:

waves carrying half the conversation
out to sea

(Sonam and I worked together on this haiku. She guided me through series of revisions and I am happy to share that this haiku was published in the December 2024 issue of The Heron’s Nest.)

by my sister, Susan Shutt:

slowing down
the unsteady steps
of a new-born colt

Svetla Mirov:

autumn leaves
on the doormat
news of his fall

behind the glass
endless past images
rain

bramble bush
last blackberries sweeter
from his shaking hand

winter walk
chill up the spine
brother’s Parkinson’s gait

January sky
stars
button his coat

colour blind
white winter day
his birthday

tidal wetlands
all seasons
memories of him

Tania Haberland: Thank you for the course. It was healing and comforting as well as illuminating and inspiring. My only constructive criticism would be that the follow up was a bit scattered at times, especially towards the end. I appreciate a learner centred approach but would’ve liked a bit more input at times. Apart from that, the delicate, kind, intelligent guidance from Sonam was a balm for my soul- heart and I learnt new aesthetic principles too.

Simon Duncan who was new to the form wrote haiku packed with images. They were a whole world in a few lines. Initially, being the nit-pick that I am, I tried to scale back his poems paring down to a few essential images. However, over time, I found his style so refreshingly unadorned and impactful that we agreed to publish his poems as he wrote them. There were a few occasions when faced with the challenges of Parkinson’s Simon decided to take a break. However, a prompt now and then, got him going again and towards the end of the course, we discussed the possibility of writing to works of art. The idea of haiga appealed to him and he was hoping to explore some more. Simon’s haiku opened a window to his world of bouldering, canal fishing, allotment and biking. Here are a few memorable ones:

A window opens
Sleeping ladybirds. cascading
Hard red confetti

Mole hill in the path
Tunnels dug furiously
Into the unknown

Hushed canal fishing
‘Hello have you caught anything “
Deep silence endures,

Cold sun, rough gritstone
More friction, increase your grade
Bouldering mat shrinks.

Night wind screams
Foxes shriek like ambushed girls
Traffic hums at dawn

Frost warning
Allotment panic
Upturned Buckets, rhubarb leave

Hungry gap
Chickweed salad, dock pudding, nettle soup
Supermarket anyone?

New bike
Fast frisky fun
Like a kid

Lovely day for a cycle ride
Head down, nothing
Miserable git

Possible haiku from allotment:

Green duckweed
Stoney frog heads
Never blinking

Celan described a poem as a message in a bottle sent out to sea in the hope that someone somewhere would read it and connect. I would unequivocally say that I connected immediately with the poems sent out by these poets into the deep of the email to a relative stranger. I have been deeply humbled and moved by their courage, eloquence and fortitude with which they have shared the devastating experience of Parkinson’s either personally or of their loved ones.

Notes:

Celan, Paul: Selected Prose, Carcanet, 1999

Sonam Chhoki

Biography
Sonam Chhoki finds the Japanese short form poetry resonates with her Tibetan Buddhist upbringing. She is inspired by her father, Sonam Gyamtsho, the architect of Bhutan’s non-monastic modern education, and by her mother, Chhoden Jangmu, who taught her: “Being a girl doesn’t mean you can’t do anything.” She is the principal editor, and editor of haibun for the online journal of Japanese short forms, cattails. Her chapbook of haibun, The Lure of the Threshold was published in May 2021. Mapping Absences, a collaboration of haibun, tan bun and tanka prose with Mike Montreuil was published in 2019. Another collaboration with Geetanjali Rajan: Unexpected Gift was published in November 2021. An ebook of a second collaboration with Geethanjali Rajan, “Fragments of Conversation” is in the process of being published.