Haiku Dialogue: Poet’s Choice, Brevity

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1. So many wonderful poems and comments! Haiku are brief by their nature, but here
   we are pushing the limits. Can’t get shorter than one word. But even one word can contain
   an ancient myth and multiple meanings.

   narc(I)ss(I)st

   Jackie Chou

   This says so much. Just incredible.

   dad’s soft touch calluses

   john hawkhead

   Men can be strong and powerful and also gentle and kind. Working hard for family and others.

   his lean teen look chemo

   Greg Longenecker

   Having lost friends to cancer in middle age is sad enough. I remember students afflicted in their short lives and some miracle survivors.

   reunion…
   wider
   hugs

   Pris Campbell

   Our family and friends are so “spread out” around the country and the world, reunions are always interesting…

2. reunion…
   wider
   hugs
   .
   Pris Campbell
   .
   This small ku seems to grow and expand with each word and then collapses upon itself. Like an absorbing black hole, the ever-widening hugs of members of this reunion continue until, I imagine, that everyone is finally included and sucked into one blissful presence. I too feel part of this group hug!
   .
   .
   his lean teen look chemo
   .
   Greg Longenecker
   .
   When I come to the surprise at the end of Longenecker’s ku, I’m compelled to reread the poem again but now with a changed perception. The semantic meaning of “lean” takes on an additional importance, even a changed meaning, from what I thought I already knew about the teen. The brevity of the poem emphasizes the two-syllable word “chemo” at the end as does the contrast of “chemo” with the preceding four monosyllabic words.

3. I really loved these brevity haiku!
   So many of them sparkled like jewels.
   I especially liked Rehn Kovacic’s

   returning
   from sick leave
   tea-stained cup

   which reaches out to me with the clearly rendered edge of that tea-stained cup!

   I also loved Joanne van Helvoort’s

   fog
   a boat
   surfaces

   as the lines themselves seem to suggest the progression of the boat emerging from fog

   And I loved Kathabela Wilson’s mysterious haiku with the turtle and the strawberry toe…

   turtlejaws
   my strawberry
   toenail

   They were all wonderful.

   1. Thank you for highlighting my poem!! I’m glad that you liked it.

4. Thank you so much for putting this together Craig, it’s a lovely collection!

5. Thank-you Craig for challenging us to write haiku with this series.
   Wonderful poems, a reminder to offer, our ku to others.

6. This is a marvelous collection of haiku! The best yet! The brevity challenge has brought out the best of us all! There are so many excellent poems here that I can’t even begin to call them out. Kudos to everyone for an excellent response to the challenge. I can’t imagine the 5-7-5 challenge will top this.

7. We have three more prompts in this series after the 5-7-5.

   1. Can’t wait to find out what they are…

8. Many good poems!
   My favourite are:

   cancer…
   in stillness
   stars rise
   ——Steve Tabb

   cicadas –
   the profile
   of shadows
   ——–Giovanna Restuccia

   on our eleventh date rape
   ——Lori A Minor

   wrapped
   in myself
   the chrysalis
   ——Theresa A. Cancro

   1. Elisabetta, thank you.

9. Going through looking for favorites but really there are too many to list. Someone make a haiku brevity anthology.

   1. 👍 yes!

10. after rain
    how the snails
    silver

    Susan Rogers

    Love “silver” working as a color and a verb. Great sounds in this too!

    1. Thank you so much Rich!!
       I had this image in my head and when I tried to catch it in words I kept changing it to be shorter. I love seeing the silver trails snails make on the wet pavement and even how they glisten silver too. I am always afraid I may step on one by mistake. When I come home after the rain they are everwhere.

11. I like the many double-meanings possible in:
    *
    moonshine
    still
    hidden
    .
    Margaret Walker
    *
    moonlight or liquor; a still, or not moving or yet… such an accomplishment within such brevity! kj

    1. Kathy, Thank you for the kind comments! I am so pleased that you saw the multiple meanings I hoped to convey.

12. slow wingbeats
    melting shadows
    .
    Victor Ortiz
    .
    In all the brevity, I keep returning to this.
    Maybe because of personal experience…swans in a white winter sky…, but also because the few words draw out time.
    The right words in the right order, but the words can be read in any order and this haiku retains its poeticism. Extra marks for a successfully miscast verb.
    Need I say more?
    .
    simonj

    1. Thank you Simon for your generous comments.
       .
       Victor

13. a vision
    in white
    plum blossoms
    Valentina Ranaldi-Adams
    .
    My adult daughter will marry in the next couple of years and I’ll remember your poem till that day. Thanks!

    1. Thank-you Ron for commenting on mine.

14. rip currents
    drowning
    In debt
    Nancy Brady
    .
    Nice image, an overwhelming but real experience for some. Rip current captures this feeling!
    Ron

    1. Thanks Ron for your comment. I n the past several weeks, our city on the lake has had, unfortunately, several drowning by rip currents..the people just swept away or in trying to rescue them. Debt can suck the soul as well. The public beach has finally reopens with new safety guidelines, but with Erie being so high this year, who knows what could happen next.

15. And not just poems got lost in the internet, so did my comment yesterday.
    .
    To try again: the ones that captured a comment from me were . . .
    .
    a desire . . .
    daisy
    petals
    (Rosa Maria Di Salvatore)
    .
    turtle jaws
    my strawberry
    tonail
    (Kath Abela Wilson)
    .
    thaw
    humming
    an old song
    (cezar ciobica)
    .
    As I have begun working on this week’s theme I’ve decided to use the same story as I did with the Brevity theme. Would anyone else be interested in trying to see how the same story would work in each poetic form for this five week series?

    1. That’s a cool idea, Susan! Looking forward to reading the results.

       1. Having already submitted before I see this, is it something for another week. Perhaps a two poem entry. One brevity one 575?

          1. We have three more prompts in this series after the 5-7-5.

    2. I love your idea, Susan!
       So I took up that challenge and did the same thing using the same story for 5-7-5 as for brevity. I look forward to reading yours!

    3. Hi Susan
       I responded to your invitation but the reply went after Craig’s comment. I will join you in using the same story! Cheers!

    4. That works for me, great idea, thanks.

    5. Thank you, Susan!

16. What a selection – almost a book load of short haiku here and all of them interesting/challenging.
    .
    I’m particularly taken with Lori’s: on our eleventh date rape
    .
    So much in 5 words.

17. As a relative novice to the haiku form, I’m very much still learning, and today, having had work turned down for not focussing on sound and rhythm, I came across the following interesting article by Elizabeth St Jacques, dealing with both these and extra-lean ‘skeletal’ haiku. Maybe useful.
    .
    http://startag.tripod.com/Rhythm.html

    1. Thank you Ingrid for sharing that link. As well as an instructive article, on the very bottom of the page there is a link to the older Haiku Light journal. There are many familiar names there. And typewritten! This is one I hadn’t read yet in my continuous online search for resources, which began with One Hundred Gourds. Also, there are some lovely tanka written in the traditional 5-7-5-7-7 format. Debbie

18. Thanks Craig Kittner for selecting my ku.

    There are so many works that spoke to me of this collection.

    Regards,

    Neelam Dadhwal

19. I did not participate, perhaps brevity isn’t my strong side😉. But I enjoyed to read all those haiku.

    My favourite are:

    autumn leaves more sky

    Rich Schilling

    on our eleventh date rape

    Lori A Minor

    On-off
    Fireflies

    Margie Gustafson

    rain dear…

    Adrian Bouter

    1. Thanks Anna Maria! I usually write in 5-7-5. I found it challenging to write briefer, but rewarding too.

    2. Glad you enjoyed mine!

20. I appreciated many of these either for their meaning, cleverness, or the yummy sounds read out loud. Some were commented on already, so I will comment on some of the others.
    *
    rock limpet
    the grip
    of grief
    *
    Martha Magenta
    *
    A wonderful use of nature and human nature, and a strong description of grief.
    *
    his lean teen look chemo
    *
    Greg Longenecker
    *
    A surprise ending after the lightness of the start.
    *
    fog
    a boat
    surfaces
    *
    Joanne van Helvoort
    *
    Living by the water, this is an image I’m familiar with, but once this little haiku looked like a sail to me, it stuck!
    *
    turtle jaws
    my strawberry
    toenail
    *
    Kath Abela Wilson
    *
    I’m not sure what her story is here, but it jarred me into the recollection of an encounter with a snapping turtle in a strawberry patch when visiting family in Missouri. Back in western Washington, It’s the pesky deer.

    1. Thank you Debby for you kind words. And I am glad you noticed the sail.

21. Pardon the pun; I felt I had to have a shot at this one by Alan.
    Use to his selfless commenting on many of our poems weekly, seldom receiving comment himself when he offers up his own poems.
    .
    Always fully loaded I find myself sometimes seeking deeper and deeper, believing sometimes he is writing in a unique form of binary language. Albeit in a light and succinct manner.
    Perhaps it’s just me reading too deep.
    .
    .
    moonshot
    Planet B
    swerves

    Alan Summers
    .
    Captured ever so succinctly, a poem I believe written about the extinction of our planet. coupled with our desire to find a new home before crunch day.
    .
    Moon shot
    .
    The first line clearly speaks of man’s attempt at another (some doubt we did it before) moon landing. So desperate are we, that enemies on earth congregate to seek out our future home together.
    .
    Planet B
    .
    The pivot, deliberately made cryptic in order to cause thought. My first being to insert “black or blue”, knowing he was referring to our blue planet, how it is turning dark through human abuse, though also guiding towards his London roots, for the cockney slang term for black and blue (meaning bruised). Following, I found myself turning to google to go beyond “b” believing I found an intention to expand in a 70’s fiction film. Titled “planet B”.
    .
    swerves
    .
    Line three for me sums up the sceptics.
    The ones to whom many lay people turn, in order to detract from providing their energy to further boost our efforts in protecting this ever so diverse planet..
    .
    For me Alan’s is an expansive poem, joyful to explore, though filled with sadness and a desperate call for food for thought.
    .
    Thanks Alan for the journey.
    Hoping I’ve not discredited in any way.
    Best wishes
    Rob

    1. Robert, I just read this as I was logging out for the day, and it is something to contemplate! And here I thought it might involve an imaginative video game. I should have known better. Debbie

       1. Debbie,
          Thank you for adding another link, I though did consider a video game, me having been credited with 29 others on being part of a VG @ outer worldly / idea.com.The comp having had a link for submissions from this the. I’m sure Alan’s poem would have received one of those places had it been submitted.
          It would be interesting to read further your contemplations.
          Best wishes
          Rob

    2. Hi Robert
       I couldn’t agree more with your first two paragraphs.
       And the rest of your post is very interesting to read regarding Alan’s verse. No doubt you’re
       on the right road.
       Having taken a few workshops with him online, and in person, Karen also, deep indeed 🙂 and they give such a wealth of information over and above the curriculum of the workshop day.

       1. Hi Carol,
          Thank you for your comment.
          I too had the pleasure of sitting on one of Alan and Karen’s haiku courses.
          Knowing I will return one day. Sometimes thinking, that should be soon. I would and do recommend “ call of the page” as a worthy avenue of learning, along with the blog page “area 17”.
          Best wishes
          Rob

    3. i read it as planet B choosing to swerve to avoid earthlings so they must return to fix what they have broken — a cosmic joke with a warning …. i don’t know Alan so don’t have the insight of his students. made me think big …. a fine and varied assortment of brevity by all

       1. Hi Clysta
          I see where you are coming from. I often fail to see gags that are right in front of me. Clearly, if you are right, it certainly swerved me. Who knows, it could be another slant that Alan intended.
          Best wishes
          Rob

          1. Rob, I appreciate your reading of it — I should have said so originally. The ku rocked my universe and likely had little to do with the author’s intention, which was your point. Thank you for your deep insights. Clysta

             1. Dear Clysta,

                If correct Alan has certainly squeezed a lot into so few words.

                Best wishes
                Rob

22. Life through a prism.
    I marvelled at both the diversity and connectivity of so many great poems.
    Congratulations to all and thank you for the journey.
    I picked two this week, both touching deep.
    .
    mother’s day
    he laces
    her shoes
    .
    Roberta Bleary
    .
    None of us have a crystal ball. if we did, I wonder if we could or would change things.
    Reberta’s poem shows how life through time reverses everything. A poem that stops you in your tracks to reflect. What are we here for, are we getting it right?
    .

    on our eleventh date rape
    .
    Lori A Minor
    .
    Lori’s poem again hit deep.
    .
    Ratcheting up the tension from the off, arriving at a slight pause, ending abruptly.
    The clever use of “eleventh” as a pivot works well with the two concrete images.

23. thanks for including mine

24. Thanks Olivier!

25. My favourites were:-
    .
    ‘blackbird’s song
    I ignore
    nearing death’
    Aljoša Vuković
    .
    ‘tiger
    approaches
    from the frame’
    Susan Bonk Plumridge
    .
    ‘stone
    upon stone
    my father’s house’
    George Hinton
    .
    ‘knothole
    deepening
    annihilation’
    Hifsa Ashraf

26. Some wonderful brief haiku this week, though I felt some seemed to struggle. It was interesting to see the numbers of poems which fell beneath the usual two-part structure for these efforts which seemed so delicate that imposing such a structure on them would have caused them to shatter. Having said that, I spotted both a three-image and a four-image haiku accommodated satisfactorily.

27. i see it now on the bottom. thanks, Craig K. for fixing the list and placing my short poem with the other entries.

    Enjoy the Conf.

28. stone thrower
    the sun
    ripples

    Robert Kingston

    yes….i can see this moment….thank you Robert

    1. Thank you Wendy
       Pleased it touched you.
       reverberations end to end 🙂

29. mother’s day
    he laces
    her shoes
    .
    Roberta Beary
    .
    This one sweetly captures what it is like to have an aging parent.

30. wrapped
    in myself
    the chrysalis
    .
    Theresa A. Cancro
    .
    A nice comparison between the human world and the natural world.

    1. Thank you , Valentina! So pleased you found that comparison.

       Best,
       Theresa

31. Happy HNA Conference, everyone! I just got settled into my room here at the Hawthorne. If you are here or will be soon, keep an eye out for me and say “hi!” This is my first conference and I am quite excited.

    Ta!

    1. I had sent one of my own, but it was not inserted,
       maybe I did something wrong in sending ?

       clouds –
       the snow
       of long ago

       Congrats to all 🙂

    2. have a fabulous conference, Craig! I’m so sorry to be missing it… kj

32. We had a couple of hiccups getting started on the series. My apologies to Wendy C Bialek and Debbie Scheving for missing their submissions. I’m not sure where the disconnect occurred, so, please, if you sent something before the Saturday at Midnight deadline and you don’t see it here, let me know.

    1. Thank you Craig for the speedy fix, and enjoy the conference! Debbie

    2. sent it Friday the 2nd….Craig….i still don’t see it here. sent you an email with submission poem

       1. Got it uploaded now, Wendy.

          1. thanks, craig for taking the time to fix it

             my brief poem
             appears
             briefly

    3. Sent this in Saturday morning.
       .
       Big Bang
       the first time’s
       the best
       .
       John S Green
       Bellingham, WA

       1. Added to the post, John. Sorry for the oversight.

    4. I had sent one of my own, but it was not inserted,
       maybe I did something wrong in sending ?

       clouds –
       the snow
       of long ago

       Congrats to all 🙂

    5. Ne avevo inviato uno mio, ma non è stato inserito,
       forse ho fatto qualcosa di sbagliato nell’invio?

       nuvole –
       la neve
       di molto tempo fa

       Complimenti a tutti 🙂

    6. I had sent one of my own, but it was not inserted.
       edelweiss…
       moving images
       in her mind

       Elisabetta Castagnoli

33. An amazing read, so much portrayed with so few syllables.
    .
    Thank you Craig for adding my verse to this versatile collection.

34. Always astounded by what can be conveyed with so few words.
    Thanks, Craig n’ kj!

35. Dear Craig,kittner
    Greetings .Thank you for including mine, going through all the wonderful contributions and my favorite this week is,

    campfire
    sparking
    memories

    Ronald K. Craig

    1. I am honored! Thank you, Radhamani sarma.
       Ron

36. mother’s day
    he laces
    her shoes

    Roberta Beary

    i love the story here…thank you, Roberta Beary

37. Craig…………

    missing
    my haiku
    on brevity

    wendy c. bialek

    can not
    discuss
    missing ‘ku

    wendy c. bialek

    1. Let’s get it on here, Wendy. Sending you an email.

38. Really taken with Jackie Chou’s haiku, it says so much in a few letters.
    .
    So much heart, so much poignancy, so much feeling in all of these brief, but spectacular haiku. Now, to return to reading and contemplating others.
    .
    The randomness of the entries in the order presented really freshness up the column, Craig. Thanks for taking over the column for the next few weeks.

39. reunion…
    wider
    hugs

    Pris Campbell

    I haven’t read all the entries yet but this one started my day with a chuckle! Thanks, Pris!

    1. Thanks, Margaret!

40. John Hawkhead’s monoku, four words that describe great depth of feeling:
    .
    dad’s soft touch calluses
    .
    Lucy Whitehead: autumn does indeed bring about a change of tune until the last leaf has gone. I love this concept. But I was also reminded in my own work how essential is a definite or indefinite article? Would this ku have worked as well without the ‘the’, unless they are specific trees?:
    .
    deep autumn
    the trees lose
    their voices
    .
    Similarly, in the joyful simplicity of Madhuri Pillai’s:
    .
    the wind
    and i
    whistling
    .
    So much expressed in Steve Tabb’s poem. I see many things in these five moving words, including grief, hope and relief:
    .
    cancer…
    in stillness
    stars rise

    Looking forward to this series and to greater self discipline! Thank you Craig.

    1. Thanks for commenting on mine, Ingrid. 🙂

    2. Ingrid, thank you for commenting on my poem.

    3. Thank you Ingrid.

41. campfire
    sparking
    memories
    .
    Ronald K. Craig
    .
    This one works two ways. Someone could be sitting in front of a campfire right now or that someone could be experiencing memories now of a campfire in the past. All this in just 7 syllables.

    1. Thank you, Valentina. I like brevity and haven’t written 5-7-5 in several years. That may be a challenge!
       Ron

42. full moon
    butterflies
    within me
    .
    Nicky Gutierrez
    .
    Nice contrast of the external and the internal.

    1. Thank you! Valentina Ranaldi-Adams

43. Many good poems this week. My two favourites: Jackie Chou’s concrete poem “narc(I)ss(I)st”, brilliant, and Rich Schilling’s “autumn leaves more sky” for the double reading of “leaves”, excellent. The art of saying more with less.

44. rip currents
    drowning
    in debt
    ,
    Nancy Brady
    .
    The concept is well expressed in only 7 syllables.

    1. Thanks Valentina for the kind remarks.

       Your wedding ‘ku just perfect

       1. I am glad that you like it, Nancy.

45. Thank-you Craig for hosting this set of columns.

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