Haiku Dialogue: Poet’s Choice, 5-7-5

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1. I like so many of the haiku this week and was pleased to read Susan Plumridge’s 5-7-5 haiku about the tiger after reading her brevity haiku on the same story.

   I also enjoyed Karen Harvey’s haiku in which a flash of iridescent blue signals a kingfisher’s strike.
   I could just see the beautiful blue leaping out at me in this.

   I also like Neni Rusliana’s beautiful haiku about a young girl in a wheelchair sitting among azalea blooms. And there was something lovely and touching about Djurdja Vukelic Rozic’s haiku about the dog and the tramp playing fetch. Arvinder Kaur’s haiku about the shiver of her mother’s hand when she blesses her was very lovely and poignant as well. Peggy Bilbro’s haiku felt exactly right. So hard to translate the language and cadence of rain, let alone a soft rain whispering down an avenue in Paris.
   So many others were wonderful as well.

   1. Thanks for your comments on my poem Susan! You got exactly the elusiveness I hoped to capture.

   2. Thank you for mentioning my poem Susan.

2. Some nice poems are here with hidden meaning, somewhere the length exceeds. However,
   my poem hasn’t been published; I give it here below-

   I drive my scooter
   my long shadow moves ahead
   tricks by morning Sun

   1. I like this. Shadows are so interesting, changing at different times of day and season.

      1. Thanks much Karen Harvey for you comment.

      2. Further to my cmments I wish to appreciate your understanding of the subject; the shadows. I am wondering why my poem didn’t get place in the series.

         1. Aju Mukhopadhyay please speak to Craig, several poems including mine had not been posted due to something…that is not clear to me, yet. Also, please note, that these poems are not hand selected by Craig. My understanding is that this POET’S CHOICE SERIES….includes all of the submissions….then….we….the poets….choose what we like….through our comments. Craig……please correct me if i am wrong on this.

3. So many wonderful verses, each and everyone a pleasure to read, but this one does it for me
   .
   white azaleas bloom
   a young girl between the leaves
   smiles in her wheelchair
   .
   Neni Rusliana
   .
   A very touching verse with many thought-provoking layers. Beautiful, Neni.

   1. Indeed, it is a poem of deep emotional reflection. Many congratulations, Neni for your verse of human touch. You shared the value of hope and aspiration.

4. thank you Craig for including mine – and I love to read the excellent haiku that others have written. such a great forum 😀

5. Thank you for putting this together Craig. I rarely write 5-7-5 these days and it’s great to see such a variety here. I especially love
   .
   origami heart
   his forty year old love note
   falls out of my book

   Kath Abela Wilson

6. Dear Craig,
   Greetings. Many thanks for featuring mine.Delighted to go through many talents – a gift to be cherished, pleasing to our ears and images wonderfully drawn.
   with regards
   S.Radhamani

7. This was a particularly difficult challenge for me! I am so pleased that so many poets managed to make a 5-7-5 haiku feel natural and expressive rather than stiff. Here are some of my favorites. There were so many more, but I had to stop somewhere!
   .
   cafe patio
   above the cacophony
   my broken English
   .
   Jackie Chou
   .
   Such natural flow dealing with a stilted language problem! Kudos!
   .
   .
   wedding ritual…
   a boy draws new branches to
   the family tree
   .
   Tsanka Shishkova
   .
   Perfect! I can just see this!
   .
   .
   Skeleton Mountain –
   the bones of long-horned bison
   wash down from the slopes
   .
   Robin Anna Smith
   .
   This brings images from my western US childhood. Thanks Robin!
   .
   .
   all over the world
   thousands of fingers counting
   haiku dialogue
   .
   Sanela Pliško
   .
   LOL! Yes we were! Thank you Sanela! Your poem captures our global haiku community.
   .
   .
   a tiny spider
   makes its way across the page
   reading the fine print
   .
   Laurie Greer
   .
   No matter how you read this, it is a fine haiku!
   .
   .
   moonlit mindfulness
   I tiptoe through the silver
   trying to miss snails
   .
   Susan Rogers
   .
   Susan, you’ve given us an example of how to make a poem of a common experience. Thanks.
   .
   .
   trying to explain
   how a panic attack feels
   F5 tornado
   .
   Edward Cody Huddleston
   .
   Perfect explanation, in 17 perch syllables! Well done!
   .
   .
   origami heart
   his forty year old love note
   falls out of my book
   .
   Kath Abela Wilson
   .
   Beautiful story of years of poignant emotion captured in 17 beautiful syllables. Thank you Kath Abela!

8. Thank you, Debbi, for your kind appreciation. My greetings to Craig and KJ for offering a wonderful opportunity to revisit the classical and aesthetic schemata, 5-7-5.

   Monoku writing is a beautiful feeling of poetic spell for its brevity and structural expression. My essay, “Monoku: An Experiment with Minimalism in Haiku Literature”, published in Under the Basho, 2018, may be of some help to the readers.

   https://www.underthebasho.com/utb-2018/essays/2451-monoku-an-experiment-with-minimalism-in-haiku-literature.html

   Good luck.

   1. Thank you for sharing this essay, Pravat.

9. I enjoyed Anitha’s

   connecting the dots…
   what pictures do the stars scrawl
   across the night sky

   I’m a big fan of constellations and sometimes make up my own. Also that throughout history and culture other pictures have been imagined.

   Greer

   1. I am so glad that my poem caught your attention. Yes the constellations and what stories they tell us….

      Thank you Greer Woodward… 😊🙏🏻

      1. I am sorry…it was a typo, but you have corrected it when you reproduced it, thank you, Greer Woodward…
         It should have been either “pictures” or “does”

         “connecting the dots
         what picture does the stars scrawl
         across the night sky”

         Regards, Anitha.

10. Thanks Craig for this series and for accepting mine. I really liked Roberta’s and Lori’s but so many work. It shows that 5-7-5 isn’t necessarily a problem unless it becomes the main rule. Looking forward to next week.

11. I found the variety here this 5-7-5 week very satisfying. More so than one poet’s collection of exclusively 5-7-5, with a couple exceptions. I’m glad there is room for both.
    This week’s “assignment” helped me to finish a haiku I started late winter but got stuck aiming for brevity. I see now I needed permission to add more words. Thank you!
    I appreciated this entire group. A few images that moved me were:
    *
    a floating lotus-
    the moon retains its brilliance
    behind dense clouds
    *
    Pravat Kumar Padhy
    *
    slow moving river
    flash of iridescent blue
    a kingfisher strikes
    *
    Karen Harvey
    *
    moonlight on spring snow
    a lost hour contemplating
    what’s in the shadows
    *
    Sari Grandstaff
    *
    lavender iris
    doffs a renaissance flophat
    summer court jester
    *
    Ron Scully
    *
    trying to explain
    how a panic attack feels
    F5 tornado
    *
    Edward Cody Huddleston

    1. Thank you, Debbie, for your kind appreciation. My greetings to Craig and KJ for offering a wonderful opportunity to revisit the classical and aesthetic schemata, 5-7-5.

    2. Thank you Debbie for your kind appreciation.

    3. Thank you for mentioning my poem Debbie. Your beautiful ‘kaleidoscope’ ku celibrates colour too.

12. Really enjoyed reading all the poems. For me,Kathabela’s origami heart,Jackie Chou’s cafe patio,Neelam’s firefly,Vandana’s roadside astrologer Laurie Greer’s tiny spider,Cezar Ciobica’s refugee children,Hifsa Ashraf’s white chrysanthemum, John Hawkhead’s woodpecker and Wendy’s death note really really stood out. Thanks Craig !

    1. Thank you for the mention, arvinder kaur.

13. origami heart
    his forty year old love note
    falls out of my book
    .
    Kath Abela Wilson
    .
    A sweet expression of the fact that love can endure.

14. beside wilted mums
    her wrinkled up death haiku
    in five seven four
    .
    wendy c. bialek
    .
    This one is a very powerful expression of a person who has failed in life.

    1. thank you for reading my poem and commenting, Valentina Ranaldi-Adams. you are indeed, picking up on the experience of a person who has passed-on without fulfillment of life-long dreams.

15. Thank-you Craig for adding mine. It is nice to see that so many poets can change from the brevity of last week to the longer 5/7/5 of this week.

16. Appreciation to all and to tradition. Aresonating bow for:
    .

    leaf in the breeze-
    the shiver of mother’s hand
    when she blesses me

    arvinder Kaur
    .

    a tiny spider
    makes its way across the page
    reading the fine print

    Laurie Greer

    .
    And to Alan for his resources for next week’s form. Very much appreciated.

    1. Thanks a lot Clysta for appreciation. warm regards,arvinder

17. Overall I think we have coped well with this interesting challenge. I would highlight Andrew Shimield’s Shikiesque (?) —
    .
    lazy afternoon
    a sprig of lavender sways
    as a bee takes flight

18. beside wilted mums
    her wrinkled up death haiku
    in five seven four

    wendy c. bialek prescott valley, az usa

    this is one of my favourite, 5/7/5 poems

    see how the wilted mums image
    is echoed in the shape of the curled paper?

    the chioce of mums
    is symbolic of death flowers
    the haiku infers it is an unfinished

19. sick to my stomach
    again, my poem is missing
    haiku dialogue

    wendy c. bialek

20. **********very nice poems here….and i will comment soon…..but again…..my poem is not included…..Craig and Kj.

    1. Sorry about this Wendy. Your submissions are not making it from the contact form to my inbox for some reason. I have emailed you some suggestions and questions to try and address this. Also having our web master look into it.

21. Such a diverse selection.
    Particularly liked these ones.
    .
    cafe patio
    above the cacophony
    my broken English
    .
    Jackie Chou
    .
    cutting fresh flowers
    my little brother tells me
    women are less than
    .
    Lori A Minor
    .
    origami heart
    his forty year old love note
    falls out of my book
    .
    Kath Abela Wilson

22. I find that very often when attempting 5/7/5 my efforts sound rather forced, which of course is not ideal when writing haiku. Too many redundant words do not a haiku make.

    I’ve not finished reading them all yet but Corine Trimmer’s

    flowering snowflakes
    all along the donkey trail
    her little footsteps

    has impressed me. Not a single unnecessary syllable, great juxtaposition, the words encourage your imagination and only one verb. Great!

    Jackie Chou’s was also terrific.

    cafe patio
    above the cacophony
    my broken English

    Not only has Jackie presented us with a 5/7/5 haiku, but also manages a minimalist feel to it AND no verbs. Jackie, I take my cap off to you.

23. The effort has paid off … Thank you Craig and KJ for keeping this column going. It’s great to learn and create…

24. I do enjoy 5 7 5 haiku. Some of my favorites:

    Skeleton Mountain –
    the bones of long-horned bison
    wash down from the slopes

    Robin Anna Smith

    lazy afternoon
    a sprig of lavender sways
    as a bee takes flight

    Andrew Shimield

    origami heart
    his forty year old love note
    falls out of my book

    Kath Abela Wilson

    again and again
    the woodpecker’s reminder
    live in the moment

    john hawkhead

    seaside in summer…
    the sound of the undertow
    cradles all my dreams

    Rosa Maria Di Salvatore

    1. Thank you, Corine, for appeciating my haiku!

25. My favorite poem is

    woodland symphony –
    a different warbler’s song
    in every tree

    Tomislav Maretić

    Thanks to the author for this amazing “woodland symphony”

    1. Tsanka & Tomislav, I also liked this one a lot, and identified with it, although with my tongue it comes out a couple of syllables short – but who’s counting!

       1. The exact number of syllables in an English word can be open for debate. Here in the American South, for example, we often draw out some words. 🙂

          1. One of the lines in my one is a bit dodgy.

26. Thanks Craig Kittner.

    This exercise to redo on 575 format has been really experimental.

    Thanks for this opportunity.

27. This is such a collection of excellent haiku. Thank you. I am a member of a haiku writing group called Hudson Valley Haiku-Kai which has been meeting monthly for many years now. For this group we only write in 5-7-5 so I have gotten into that. The group was co-founded by Priscilla Lignori and Clark Strand. Clark wrote Seeds From a Birch Tree which I recommend as an excellent book on 5-7-5 traditional English language haiku. A couple of haiku here which I love:

    scarlet begonias
    grandma shares with everyone
    her deadhead story

    Rich Schilling

    This is humorous, nostalgic and touching! Also I really appreciate the assonance of

    moonlit mindfulness
    I tiptoe through the silver
    trying to miss snails

    Susan Rogers

    And the moonlight I am partial to. It is not the “moonlight madness” one expects but “moonlight mindfulness.” There is more of an opportunity for poetic language techniques in 5-7-5 haiku in my opinion. Looking forward to reading more through these haiku. Thank you Craig.

    1. Thanks for enjoying mine!

    2. Thank you so much Sari! You made my day with your encouraging comments!

28. rice padi scarecrows
    the rumble of an old train
    scatters two sparrows
    .
    Christina Chin
    .
    Image Story Rhythm Juxtaposition Comedy VG(Very Good)

    1. simonj,
       Thank you and I appreciate you took the time to comment. I’m very honoured happy you enjoyed.
       Have a good week.

    2. SimonJ do I spot a reference to the Rah Band in yours?

       1. Not conciously. I was actually watching the moon, two Wednesday’s back. First quarter.

          1. But not having an angina attack!

29. Greetings Craig, I submitted a 5/7/5 haiku. I don’t see it here. Thank-you for all your efforts on this column.

    1. Hi Valentina. I did not receive your submission. If you send it to me now, I will add it to the post.

       Thank you.

       1. Hi Craig I just sent it now using the Contact Form.

          1. Thank you. I have added it.

30. I find 17 syllable haiku very difficult to write. Like many others, I need to add in extra images, adverbs, adjectives, or articles, or I end up with a weak ku which simply flops, just to make up the count.
    These impressive haiku stand out for me because of their strong imagery, absence of redundant words:
    .
    kaleidoscope –
    a child enjoying colors
    temporarily
    .
    Aljoša Vuković
    .
    I love this one. Reminds me of a kaleidoscope that kept me entertained on train journeys with my grandmother.
    .
    cafe patio
    above the cacophony
    my broken English
    .
    Jackie Chou
    .
    This one is very neat and makes economic use of the 17 syllables. Impressive.
    .
    Skeleton Mountain –
    the bones of long-horned bison
    wash down from the slopes
    .
    Robin Anna Smith
    .
    cutting fresh flowers
    my little brother tells me
    women are less than
    .
    Lori A Minor
    .
    origami heart
    his forty year old love note
    falls out of my book
    .
    Kath Abela Wilson
    .
    I love them all!

31. I love the imagery in Alan Summers 5-7-5:

    a storm gathers pace
    one by one by one puppets
    become just one boy

    Alan Summers

    I found the last two lines to be particularly fine.
    ***

    I love the tenderness in this 5-7-5 by Kath Abela Wilson:

    origami heart
    his forty year old love note
    falls out of my book

    Kath Abela Wilson

    there is also the element of the unexpected, which is hard to pull off in Haiku.
    ***

    The personification of the spider makes this Haiku by Laurie Greer stand out:

    a tiny spider
    makes its way across the page
    reading the fine print

    Laurie Greer

    Whether or not one believes in the use of Personification in Haiku, is beside the point. When it is done correctly, it works for me.

    1. Thank you for noticing this! I was actually thinking of the reader following the spider’s movement as a kind of “fine print,” but if it can be read other ways too–great!

32. Ever since I won the New York City based World Monuments Fund organisation for its first and only 5-7-5 haiku contest back in 2012 I’ve been writing more and more in this way. Why? Because they are melodic in a different way to the musicality of haiku with fewer syllable counts.
    .
    .
    575HAIKU – TRADITIONAL HAIKU AS THREE LINES AND IN A 5-7-5 ENGLISH LANGUAGE SYLLABLES PATTERN:
    .
    https://area17.blogspot.com/2016/03/575haiku-traditional-haiku-as-three.html
    .
    .
    Great to see so many in one group, Jim Wilson will be overjoyed!

    1. Good point, Alan. I believe there is a natural law with all art forms that where there are limitations and difficulties, some artists will find unique opportunities.

       1. Craig,
          do you intend to add my poem to the rest? This is the second time my poem is missing from the group. Do you think it is fair that people get to discuss any of the poems when they are not all there? I don’t.
          please can you fix this….i sent you an email with my poem in it, too.

          1. Hi Wendy,

             I added your haiku as soon as I saw your email. I have a day job and cannot check my personal email at all times during the day. I appreciate your patience as we investigate the reasons your submissions did not come through to me.

       2. Thank you Craig, for your kind thoughtful comments.
          .
          warmest regards,
          Alan

33. .
    .
    REGARDING NEXT WEEK’S THEME OF MONOKU
    .
    .
    Many of us now write haiku in one line, just as most Japanese poets do, or have their work published in newspapers and online Japanese anthologies etc…
    .
    It’s not as obviously easy as it looks though, is it? It certainly took me a while to gain expertise when the challenge went out for a monoku anthology.
    .
    .
    So as a taster:
    .
    .

    THE LAYERING OF MEANING BEYOND THE IMMEDIATE: THE “NOW” IN MONOKU
    https://area17.blogspot.com/2019/06/the-layering-of-meaning-beyond.html
    .
    .
    AND
    .
    .
    TRAVELLING THE SINGLE LINE OF HAIKU – ONE LINE HAIKU / MONOKU / MONOSTICH
    https://area17.blogspot.com/2016/12/travelling-single-line-of-haiku-one.html
    .
    .

    1. Thank you for these! And let me extend that to all the many helpful links, hints, advice, memories, examples, etc., you have provided here on this site. Not to mention the unflagging enthusiasm!

    2. Thanks Alan for the links. I know I will need some guidance as I have only written one up to this point.
       .
       On this week’s 575 challenge, it was aptly described by Sanilo Plisko’s finger counting haiku. Once I let go of the 575 mindset, my haiku was better, and to go back to it was not easy. I managed to write a new haiku for this week’s challenge, but I think I could tighten it by removing and rearranging the words. Anybody else feel this way?
       .
       I have not read them all, but several caught my eye. Vandana Parashar’s for humor about an astrologer reading newspaper for his fortune and Roberta Brady for her poignant haiku about donations of a teddy bear and heart. I know I will keep finding more gems as the week goes by.
       Thanks Craig and KJ for keeping this column going. I learn more each week…from writing to reading.

       1. Absolutely agree, Nancy! In fact even as I read mine, I was rewriting it in my mind! 😊

          1. Hi Peggy!
             .
             Always fun to write a haiku every which way, and none moreso than a monoku, and make it your own! 🙂

       2. Dear Nancy,
          .
          “Thanks Alan for the links. I know I will need some guidance as I have only written one up to this point.”
          .
          I’m sure you’ll be fine, but if you want to me to give a quick ‘think-aloud’ feedback via my other email: alan@withwords.org.uk
          .
          But I have high hopes you’ll crack the code!

          1. Sent you one via your aforementioned email.

             1. Great, not gone through yet.
                .
                Just to check, it was this one?
                .
                .
                alan@withwords.org.uk
                .
                .

             2. Dear Nancy,
                .
                Did you include the .uk bit to my email? And made sure it was .org.uk ?
                .
                .
                alan@withwords.org.uk
                .
                .
                Or you can private message me at the Haiku Foundation’s Forums side of this website?
                https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/forum_sm/index.php
                .
                warm regards,
                Alan

    3. Thank you for the links. Everyone should be cautioned that simply taking a three line haiku and removing the line breaks will seldom end in something good.

       1. Correct Craig! 🙂
          .
          There is an incredible array of approaches to monoku including the expansive and lyrical Stuart Quine one line haiku in Sour Pickle, and Wild Rhubarb (Alba Publishing) to the abruptisms of other authors where one line doesn’t mean one poem or one meaning.
          .
          I’m really excited how people will bend and tweak what’s gone before! 🙂

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