HAIKU DIALOGUE – Paradigm Shift – the discourse of birds
Paradigm Shift with Guest Editor Craig Kittner
“Learn about pines from the pine,” Bashō advised.
Why do you think he said that?
Animism is a birthright of haiku.
However, western culture, despite all its scientific knowledge, tends to put human experience on some rarefied plane, separate and above all the other beings and forces of the universe. An ego-laden, anthropocentric attitude that would write off learning from the pine as anthropomorphism and personification.
How does this impact your writing?
Can you shift your perspective away from the human and dress yourself in the consciousness of another form?
next week’s theme: the persistence of weeds
The crack in the sidewalk, the roof of the abandoned factory, the scorched hillside after a fire. What drives the weed to colonize even the most inhospitable of places?
The deadline is midnight Eastern Daylight Time, Saturday June 19, 2021.
Please use the Haiku Dialogue submission form below to enter one or two original unpublished haiku inspired by the week’s theme, and then press Submit to send your entry. (The Submit button will not be available until the Name, Email, and Place of Residence fields are filled in.) With your poem, please include any special formatting requirements & your name as you would like it to appear in the column. A few haiku will be selected for commentary each week. Please note that by submitting, you agree that your work may appear in the column – neither acknowledgment nor acceptance emails will be sent. All communication about the poems that are posted in the column will be added as blog comments.
below is Craig’s commentary for the discourse of birds:
setting sun –
song of a bird
measures the skyVijay Prasad
Patna, India
I love haiku’s ability to put a word in a new context and make it resonate with fresh possibilities. Here, the word “measures,” applied to birdsong, hints at the seemingly infinite depth of that sound. The sky is vast and the song of a bird is equally vast.
before dusk . . .
a gull croons
to the sinking sunBarrie Levine
Wenham MA USA
Gulls are often maligned, because people find it hard to resist imposing human values on non-human beings. It’s nice to see a gull portrayed in an endearing way. Choosing the word “croon” maintains and respects the bird’s naturally atonal voice.
mango orchard —
the planter sings back
to the cuckooTeji Sethi
India
A person, out in the air and able to relate to another creature through voice. Truly a paradigm shift and a reminder that we once were much closer to our non-human cousins.
scugnizzi sparrows powder the street cacophonic
simonj
UK
Aside from the meaning of these words (one of which I had to Google, but fair play to the poet), the giddy rhythm they produce joyously captures the manic activity of a foraging flock of urban sparrows.
adding a beat
to the skylark’s song…
busy woodpeckerTracy Davidson
Warwickshire, UK
To know birds you must know their sounds. It’s another kind of paradigm shift to rely on your ears to know them. With eyes closed, you can explore the rich soundscape, woven by all the species around you. You may be surprised by who adds what to the jam session.
winter blowdowns
the dense tangle
of wrensongKristen Lindquist
Camden, ME, USA
Another haiku reflective of how important sound is with birds, particularly with species that spend their time secreted in woody enclaves. A paradigm shift here, too, with these blowdowns, which humans tend to treat like trash, but birds rely on for shelter.
eggshell
in the grass under
an old plumSlobodan Pupovac
Zagreb, Croatia
No sound here, but this surely could be something birds sing about. The blossoms have fallen, the chicks have hatched, and it’s time to get on with the business of rearing them. The measured passage of time.
morning has broken
chirping birds on branches
the voice of mamaLisbeth Ho
Salatiga, Indonesia
A little ambiguity works well in this haiku. “Mama” could be the mama bird, calling out to her brood of fledglings. But if so, the sound of birds is used twice, which is pretty much a haiku no-no. So one is led to think the voice is the poet’s mama’s, but is it being heard or merely remembered? Regardless, the focus on birds leads to a small hint of the human, all of it wrapped in the flow of time.
the song summons blood,
bright globes that darken, breaking
into songs yet to beGreer Woodward
Waimea, HI
This is right at the boundary of what I consider haiku. Longer than the norm and a little heavy on the narrative. However, it stands out, with unusual imagery that hints at all the nuances of bird life that we may imagine, but cannot truly know. The birdness of being a bird and how song passes to the next generation.
& here are the rest of the selections:
crow caws
stretching its neck
social learningAmrutha Prabhu
Bengaluru, India
muezzin’s call
I chirp to match
the noteSurashree Joshi
India
siren
a lone
starlingHelen Buckingham
United Kingdom
unseen noises
on a moonless night
the hooting owlJeff Leong
Kuala Lumpur
harried sparrow—
your children tell you
it’s never enoughSkaidrite Stelzer
United States
spring thaw
the Jenny wren
warms up her songTerri L. French
full time Rver!
rumbling rain
the crows have so much
to caw aboutLakshmi Iyer
India
laughing mountain —
birdsong needing
no translationAlan Peat
Biddulph, United Kingdom
eastern phoebe
a lesson in being
concisePat Davis
Pembroke, NH USA
storm’s end
crows calling out
damage reportsBryan Rickert
Belleville, Illinois USA
where do I begin
where do I end…
the weaver bird’s nestMohammad Azim Khan
Peshawar,Pakistan
departing spring
a shift in tone
in the sparrow’s songJackie Chou
Pico Rivera, CA USA
gloaming notes
echo the woods
a mate affirmsJL Huffman
Blue Ridge Mountains of NC, USA
soft breeze a willow warbler’s ride-along
Alan Summers
Wiltshire, England
less birdsong now the receding shoreline
Pippa Phillips
United States
flying kite
silences
reed warblersTeiichi Suzuki
Japan
settling matters
a fluster
of seagullsKeith Evetts
Thames Ditton UK
cracked eggs –
in the bird’s song
tender notesMirela Brăilean
Romania
morning walk…
conversation of birds
blurs the trafficMargaret Mahony
Australia
snow squall juncos chasing juncos
Myron Arnold
Canada
in it together
in it alone
dawn chorusVandana Parashar
India
call
and response
tree to treePeggy Bilbro
Huntsville, Alabama
rising dark
the storm-bird’s
endless songSushama Kapur
Pune, India
monsoon clouds…
a passerine searches
for a roofJagajit Salam
Imphal, India
lyrebird
becomes the chainsaw
trembling treesCarole Harrison
Jamberoo, NSW, Australia
a light
rippling over the river
buddha’s swanZeenat Khan
Delhi, India
robin’s song
at the hem of two worlds
stillnessRicha Sharma
India
silence of snow –
the chirping of a sparrow
on the windowsillMaria Teresa Piras
Italia
cusp of dawn
roadrunner’s drum roll
raises the sunCynthia Anderson
Yucca Valley, California
Spring robin
the ebb and flow
of brood-songBill Fay
Fox Island, WA, USA
raven’s cry
the sky before
and afterAnn K. Schwader
Westminster, CO
murmuration
the silent exchanges
of starlingsMike Gallagher
Lyreacrompaane, Ireland
backyard mango tree . . .
the sour screeches
and sweet screamsR . Suresh Babu
India
cold evening
a lone scarlet macaw
loses its warmthDevoshruti Mandal
Varanasi, India
cat or catbird
only the mother
knows for sureRoberta Beach Jacobson
Indianola, IA, USA
cacophony
at the birdbath
call to callJoe Sebastian
Chennai
blackbird nest
yesterday evening
it was loud in hereWiesław Karliński
Namysłów, Poland
stork on one leg
speaking to the child
about flyingMircea Moldovan
Romania
summer weeping willows –
the call of a kingfisher
to anotherJulia Guzmán
Córdoba Argentina
morning alarm …
the peacock’s shrill call
in a temple townPriti Aisola
Hyderabad, India
street musical
a cardinal
solosSusan Farner
United States
withered branch-
the chirping of a sparrow
on the swingAngiola Inglese
Italia
April twilight
birds winding down
as frogs gear upTim Cremin
Massachusetts
beggar bird
we break bread
in the parking lotAlex Fyffe
United States
4 am cacophony
crowrobincrowjaycrow
who is conducting?Pam Joy
Dyea, Alaska
homecoming…
cries of swallows show the wayritorno a casa…
grida di rondini indicano la viaGiuliana Ravaglia
Bologna ( Italia )
I am five tight tseets
from the black hooded chickadee
so I hearRon Scully
Manchester NH
empty bird feeder
much ado
about nothingFlorin C. Ciobica
Romania
empty playground
blue jays squabble
over the see-sawLorraine Padden
San Diego, CA
my mating call
only a mockingbird
answersKath Abela Wilson
Pasadena, CA
last call
a goose tugs
at the dawnP. H. Fischer
Vancouver, Canada
full moon
my wings shiver
its lonely shadowAnna Yin
Ontario, Canada
midnight mockingbirds
as if to say still here
they answerSusan Rogers
Craig Kittner has lived a lot of places. Fourteen at last count. He was reared, for a while, in Illinois. Then North Carolina. Providence saw the start of some interesting things that DC helped solidify. Now he lives kind of near the sea and is compelled to ramble and write.
Lori Zajkowski is the Post Manager for Haiku Dialogue. A novice haiku poet, she lives in New York City.
Managing Editor Katherine Munro lives in Whitehorse, Yukon Territory, and publishes under the name kjmunro. She is Membership Secretary for Haiku Canada, and her debut poetry collection is contractions (Red Moon Press, 2019). Find her at: kjmunro1560.wordpress.com.
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Please note that all poems & images appearing in Haiku Dialogue may not be used elsewhere without express permission – copyright is retained by the creators. Please see our Copyright Policies.
This Post Has 34 Comments
Comments are closed.
Thank you Alan and Kathabela for your thoughtful commentary! I just came across them now, two months after they were posted. I will definitely look into submitting to your brilliant journal, Alan.
I love Jackie Chou”s subtle beauty of a haiku, featuring the change in a bird’s inflection! And also Alan Summers comment and blackbird example. Wonderful! And Alan’s reminder about Blloos
Yep, Jackie Chou’s haiku is a beauty. I also hadn’t realised that tone in a bird’s song might vary throughout the year depending on pre-nest and post-nest etc… as mentioned by a haiku poet who works on a farm.
Yes, Blo͞o Outlier Journal issue #2 should be out in July, and is all about haibun, tanka story, and zuihitsu! The call out for issue #3 in the Autumn is about wildlife haiku aka natural history, so do start keeping back one or two that are spare! 🙂
warm regards,
Alan
Two wonderful haiku with a hint of sadness:
departing spring
a shift in tone
in the sparrow’s song
Jackie Chou
Pico Rivera, CA USA
It’s a wonderful treat when we can detect a change in the song delivery of a bird. I’ve had that with both a blackbird one year and in the following year with a (European) Robin.
Thank you Jackie, so much resonance in your haiku. I hope you consider submitting to issue #3 of The Blo͞o Outlier Journal which is going to make an Autumn call out for wildlife/natural history haiku, so if you have a new one, keep it safe maybe. 😉
.
Here’s the blackbird haiku:
the names of rain
a blackbird’s subsong
into dusk
Alan Summers
Publication credit: Haiku News Vol. 1 No. 35 (September 2012) ed. Laurence Stacey and Dick Whyte
Features:
Cornell University USA (Cornell University, Mann Library haiku showcase March 2013)
Brass Bell: Alan Summers curated by Zee Zahava Wednesday, July 1, 2015
blackbird subsong:
http://tinyurl.com/blackbirdsubsong
***
cracked eggs –
in the bird’s song
tender notes
Mirela Brăilean
Romania
This is a very interesting haiku because, with the dash [–] could suggest someone is cracking eggs for breakfast perhaps.
.
Whenever I read haiku I regularly do a ‘correct’ reading and simultaneously a ‘misreading’ so I try to get the writer’s intent, but also my own ‘intent’ so there is a wonderful duet happening.
The haiku without the dash:
cracked eggs
in the bird’s song
tender notes
or
cracked eggs
in the bird’s song –
tender notes
or
cracked eggs
in the bird’s song…
tender notes
Or even other punctuation mark choices or no ‘visible’ punctuation
.
Why did I see this phrase?
i.e.
.
cracked eggs in the bird’s song
.
Some of us have experienced the sight of cracked/damaged eggs, perhaps more so in our childhood, perhaps?
Bereavement is not unique to the human species.
.
But if we go back to the original haiku:
.
cracked eggs –
in the bird’s song
tender notes
Mirela Brăilean
.
Are the tender notes because it already has a “sweet” song? Or is the tenderness made more tender by a sense of loss?
Are the eggs being cracked for breakfast just a coincidence, or that the author witnessed a bird’s song, and made a connection, while they are preparing another type of bird’s eggs in order to consume them.
The cycle of life, with or without the dash, is evident in this sublimely crafted haiku.
warm regards,
Alan
Alan Summers
founder, Call of the Page
Dear Mirela Brăilean,
I hope you might send some wildlife/natural history haiku when Blo͞o Outlier Journal sends out a call in Autumn! 🙂
Other poets here, look forward to these types of haiku for Blo͞o Outlier Journal in the Autumn too! 🙂
Oh gosh…dear Alan, I use to open the comments from time to time to see another point of view from other poets. I’m really impressed by your comm. What can I say? There are a lot of reasons and memories in such a few words, indeed…I’m so thrilled you’re finding this is a good haiku; I can’t tell you…and I’ve been following your work since we met on FB. You’re a mentor for me, too. You’re so talented that l don’t dare to submit my work… there are a lot of very talented poets and I’m just a beginner in this wonderful world.
I thank you for your kind words.
Sincerely yours,
Mirela
Dear Mirela,
You do remember I headhunted your stubble road for Blo͞o Outlier Journal’s first ever issue?! 🙂
So I hope you will submit to issue #3 which returns to haiku!
And of course do have a go at my other journal:
https://mahmighthaikujournal.blogspot.com/2021/05/a-mahmight-introduction-to-new-haiku.html
Go for both! 🙂
warm regards,
Alan
Oh, I’ve just seen it! It’s hard work there…:) I have to get some time and a lot of courage!
Hard work never harmed anyone, I hope! 😉
Thank you Craig for including my haiku this week. I enjoyed them all.
I especially liked the call and response evoked by this prompt:
first
call
and response
tree to tree
….Peggy Bilbro
and how my haiku unintentionally was an answer or response to Kathabela Wilson’s call:
my mating call
only a mockingbird
answers
and mine:
midnight mockingbirds
as if to say still here
they answer
apt
My “apt” referred to Simon’s response
Congratulations to all the poets featured in ‘Haiku Dialogue’ this week. I enjoyed reading all the poems in the column and appreciated Craig’s commentary. I have learnt more about haiku and birds! One poem I particularly enjoyed because it reminded me of watching gulls following the plough across fields is…
settling matters
a fluster
of seagulls
Keith Evetts
Thames Ditton UK
I think ‘fluster’ describes a conversation of gulls beautifully!
Yes, fluster was a great word choice!
Thank you for including my poem in your commentary, Craig! As an avid birder, I especially loved the responses to this particular prompt. My favorites included this one, which struck me as a wonderful example of how repetition can enhance a poem (as presented at the HSA Conference this past weekend by Brad Bennett and Jeannie Martin), as well as being very appropriate to the pandemic:
in it together
in it alone
dawn chorus
Vandana Parashar
India
And this one, which has an environmental message that appealed to me:
lyrebird
becomes the chainsaw
trembling trees
Carole Harrison
Jamberoo, NSW, Australia
Yes, that was a good presentation. For anyone who missed it last weekend, it is on YouTube, along with the other presentations and workshops.
Here’s a link to the repetition presentation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6k5kG9ruqw
Thanks so much for your kind comments, Kristen.
I had submitted this two days before the HSA conference and when I saw the presentation on Repetition in Haiku, I was pleasantly surprised. This is the first one I have written using repetition.
old garden-
pale tufts of grass
under the leaves
*******************
what remains
of the men in the trenches ..
wild flowers
a honkadori of a Basho haiku, remembering the men who died on the Karst in the First World War
*********************
oh, sorry !!
Picking two haiku, for the moment, that stood out for me, I realised how one is about ‘less birdsong’ and the other is thankfully “too much birdsong”!
When I first moved to my current town of Chippenham, once headquarters to King Alfred the Great, and also to Danish Vikings, traffic noise was swallowed by sparrows, which was amazing. Now as bramble is destroyed to create pointless expensive housing, ignoring those in need, there is less birdsong.
Two wonderfully crafted haiku, both deeply thoughtful.
.
less birdsong now the receding shoreline
Pippa Phillips
.
morning walk…
conversation of birds
blurs the traffic
Margaret Mahony
.
Thanks so much for your comment, Alan! I enjoyed your short ride along…
Thanks Pippa!
I enjoyed seeing you at the HSA zoom conference which was quite a whirlwind of emotions and approaches! 🙂
warm regards,
Alan
Absolutely! It’s still intimidating seeing my favorite poets face to face. Grix’s presentation was one for the ages.
Test
morning has broken
chirping birds on branches
the voice of mama
******
I wrote this haiku based on my experience with my natural surrounding and my son. I usually wake my son along with the sound of chirping birds since he was a little boy until now he is in college.
My home is embraced by trees and birds both the ones on the branches and those of my neighbours in the cages.
Fortunately, my son had also painted “some birds on the branch” in crayon pastel when he was in his 4th year-elementary. That adds my zeal to share it both in haiku and haiga.
Off course, readers are most welcomed to interpret differently as they enjoy this haiku.
Thankyou so much to Craig Kittner for the selection and your interesting, brilliant comment. I really enjoy and amazed at reading it.
It really brightens my days. Bless you…
Thanks, Lisbeth. It’s interesting to hear how the poem evolved. Also speaks to the fact that if you start from an authentic place, your haiku will reflect a rich engagement with the world, and readers will empathize with it.
I am honored to have my gull haiku selected for Haiku Dialogue, the highlight of every week. Thanks to Lori and kj for maintaining it with loving care and thank you Craig for your commentary. I live on the New England Coast and the sounds on the beach year round became an important source of inspiration once I started to write haiku.
Thanks for including mine, Craig, kj and Lori. Congratulations all whose work appears here, especially Slobodan Pupovac for his:
.
eggshell
in the grass under
an old plum
It’s the contrast between the fragility of the ‘eggshell’, the quasi-soft landing in the ‘grass’ (might the contents of the shell have survived?) and the thumping sounds of ‘under / an old plum’ that bring this variation on a relatively common image to life. There may be nothing new under the sun, but it’s the way you tell ’em!
.
I’ve just read Craig’s commentary, which has a decidedly more hopeful feel to it ….. every great ku contains a number of truths!
Elated to have a haiku of mine included in Haiku Dialogue from The Haiku Foundation and Craig Kittner. My deepest thanks to Lori, kj, and any other genie behind the scenes. I am always amazed at the variety of responses to the prompts…
Thank you Craig for including my haiku. Enjoyed all haiku and comments.
eastern phoebe
a lesson in being
concise
Pat Davis
Explaining my like for this would take too many words.
Thanks, Simonj. The eastern phoebe’s call is brief and to the point: chip chip. One has made a nest high up in my garage , so I hear it a lot lately. I think all birds have mastered the art of being concise with their limited calls – they don’t waste any sounds!
apt
Thanks to editor Craig Kittner for pointing out my verses too. Congratulations to all the authors, always surprising with their observations.