HAIKU DIALOGUE – my Yukon – and Welcome to What’s at Hand

This Post Has 109 Comments

1. Ditto…I couldn’t say it better myself.

   Thanks Kathy. I think I have become a better poet, thanks to you and this column.

   Welcome Craig. I think I will learn plenty from you as well.

   Or as my older son says, “It’s all good.”

2. thank you Kathy for including my poem – am really enjoying the whole haiku community and spirit around the world brought here in your forum

   1. thank you for submitting, Nancy – this is a wonderful community – & I’m grateful to be part of it!

3. many thanks Kathy!
   many wonderful haiku
   welcoming Craig!

   1. thank you Charles!

   2. Thanks Charles. I’m glad to be tackling this role.

4. my favorite ones:

   alpine lake
   an artist paints
   his melancholy

   Eufemia Griffo

   and

   Rorschach test
   we go fishing
   for shadows

   Lucy Whitehead
   Essex, UK

   i love art, psychology and writing…..when they are combined…to make great haiku….i am in heaven, very partial…thank you, Eufemia Griffo and Lucy Whitehead…enjoyed all the work submitted, and the thoughtful feedback. The tributes to Rachel was a special highlight…will miss her contributions to this group.
   Looking forward to the “changing of the guards” with Craig, while saying my grateful farewell to Kathy.

5. Thank you Kathy, your inspiring pictures/word phrases and choices of haiku…has made this experience for me…a date to look forward to…a school of thoughts and growth. Thank you for selecting some of my work. I do hope your life has been enriched by this experience as well.

   1. thanks so much for this Wendy! my life has been enriched in many ways from this experience, & I’m so glad that now guest editors will also share in this!

6. Craig,

   Welcome !!

   I read the instructions for the new column. The way I understand these instructions is that
   a person may only send in one poem. Is that correct?

   1. Hi Craig,

      I’d also like to know the answer to Valentina’s question. Thanks and welcome to our gang!

      Greer

      1. I’m guessing it’s one poem due to the wording:
         .
         .
         “an” original unpublished poem
         .
         .
         So I’ve been beavering away on multiple draft versions based on a throw cushion I have on a big navy blue leather sofa that probably came from a posh doctor’s surgery. 🙂
         .
         It’s really making me focus on not rushing the single poem submission, as when I occasionally sent three to Kathy, two of them weren’t as good as I thought. 🙂

         1. Oops, did not read. Like the Monty Python movie, I just got blasted into the chasm.

   2. I am also interested in the answer to this question. My problem is that I already sent in more than one -as I have been doing since Jim Kacian’s Workplace Haiku series! I guess I’ll have to re-submit only one poem if I have submitted incorrectly!
      Craig, please advise me!

   3. Hi everyone. I apologize for not seeing these comments until this morning. I am still learning all the ins and outs of communicating on the forum.

      My intention is that everyone should send a single haiku on the weekly theme. My main reason for this is that I feel it’s in keeping with one of the goals of the blog, which is to hone all of our skills at writing and reading haiku. As with all creative acts, self editing is an extremely valuable skill for haiku writing.

      So, if you can, please send your one, best take on the weekly theme.

      That being said, I considered all submitted works for the throw pillow theme. And, for future submissions, if you just can’t make up your mind, I will continue to consider everything you submit. However, just like chefs who present too many items in a cooking competition, the dilution of ideas in sending more than one haiku might weaken, not strengthen your submission.

      On a final note, please make sure to note the new deadline, which is Saturday at 6 pm eastern time. That is my time, here in Wilmington, NC. Sorry for the shorter time span, but with my schedule it is necessary.

      Again, my apologies for leaving you hanging. I’ll be quicker on the uptake in the future.

      1. I totally missed the earlier submission time until I started to submit on Sunday. Should have read more closely – I also missed the “only one poem “. How easily we develop habits!

7. Congratulations to my lovely wife, Jen, her first ever poem submission was accepted by cj!
   .
   broken mirror
   rocks in a stream
   .
   Jen Green
   Bellingham, WA
   .
   I was reading her my poems in response to the picture and she blurted out those two lines, which I said you should send in, so she did.
   .
   Mine were not accepted, ha!

   1. That’s brilliant that your wife wrote one, and often, when we are relaxed, we revert to a kind of poetic language. I found this out while doing a senku (1000 verse renga), that if I got the person to forget they were trying to create a verse, a magic phrase would materialise that was perfect! 🙂
      .
      .
      broken mirror
      rocks in a stream
      .
      Jen Green
      Bellingham, WA
      .
      .
      The opening line can send us as readers into different directions (pun half-intended) from Disney’s original Snow White to seven years of bad luck (haven’t we’ve all broken at least one mirror in our lifetime) to all sorts of interpretations.
      .
      The second/last line is very concrete and shifts brilliantly, even if we think there’s no scent link inside the verse, there is. 🙂
      .
      NOTE: “Perhaps Basho’s greatest discovery, according to Carley, was the nioi-zuke or scent link” John Carley, Renku Reckoner (2013)
      .
      .
      So, well caught!!! 🙂

      1. I looked up Carley and his nioi-zuke or scent link—good stuff!
         .
         broken mirror
         rocks in a stream
         .
         Jen Green
         Bellingham, WA
         .
         I also see a broken mirror rocking in a stream, as one that was tossed in and is balancing atop a boulder—being moved by the currents.

   2. How exciting for Jen. It shows that everyone can be “in the moment” and write.

      1. Yes, she was quite happy—and her birthday is tomorrow!

   3. broken mirror
      rocks in a stream
      .
      Jen Green
      Bellingham, WA
      .
      For me, this haiku by Jen Green really opens a universe of meanings and demonstrates well the power of haiku to suggest so much in only a few words.
      .
      As the waters of a stream or lake recede, rocks may suddenly appear, rocks that have been hidden away just beneath the surface. Although we may not be aware of what kind of rocks lie under a lake’s skin, a river’s face, or on the other side of a broken mirror, we may still feel their nagging presence in our lives, depending on how sharp they are. But other rocks may also be present in our lives that are so polished or rare that they turn out to be real gems, just waiting to be noticed. Maybe, we should sometimes even shatter one of our mirrors (metaphorically), to break through what we typically or habitually see in order to find new gems, to realize new realities. And yet, just as mirrors break, rocks break too and sometimes when they do they reveal unforeseen beauty, as crystals in a geode do. So many more connections can be made between the two lines!
      .
      Thanks, Jen, for sharing such a fine haiku, and thanks John for encouraging Jen to submit it, and thanks to you kj for selecting it!

      1. Victor,

         Wow! Quite a take on Jen’s two-liner. Many thanks.

         And eventually the mirror and it’s glass and the rocks are all smoothed out by the timeless flow of the stream.
         .
         This may be her favorite birthday gift—she is a groundhog baby!

         1. Happy Birthday to Jen!
            as always, I take full responsibility for both the poems included & those overlooked – poems that were deserving of inclusion here but for whatever reason were not included – & I think those choices may have to do with the scent link – something that is difficult to put into words…
            my initial take on this poem was that the rocks disrupted the perfect reflection of the mountains in the lake, creating an effect like a broken mirror… & then other meanings came in the re-reading of the poem…
            thanks John, Alan, Nancy & Victor for sharing! kj

            1. Hi kj,
               Many thanks to all your diligent work on the weekly process.
               .
               Having Jen’s poem accepted by you was a highlight of a lovely birthday weekend.

               Enjoy your ‘break’ from the Trout Swirl.
               .
               xoxo,
               .

            2. thanks John!

8. I’m new and thrilled to find your poetic community. Lovely entries. <3

   1. thanks, & welcome Colleen!

9. Thanks to Kj for publishing my verses, and for the work he has done for us in all these months.
   I missed Rachel, who we read every week, thanks to all those who have dedicated a haiku to her.

   1. thanks for this!

10. Kathy,

    Thank you for this thoroughly enjoyable acitivity you have provided for us. I have looked forward each week to the next prompt – each of them forcing me to view bits of our world in a slightly different way – and attempt to express a fresh perspective.

    I very much appreciate all the time and effort you have put into this!

    1. thank you Margaret!

11. So many wonderful ku.

    My favorit this week:

    lake’s center –
    ah, there we are
    still

    C.R. Harper

12. Greetings, all. I am so looking forward to reading all your submissions in the coming weeks. I am honored to be your guest editor and I will do my best to carry on in the spirit that Kathy has established so well here.

    I found CR Harper’s “lake’s center -” to be incredibly satisfying. We come to the center of the lake. Is “there we are” our arrival? Or is it that we see ourselves in a reflection? Is “still” the quality of stillness? Or does seeing our reflection reassure us that we are still here? Still who we think we are? Wonderful! Placement of the line break for L2 is perfect as well.

    Such lovely tributes to Rachel as well. I feel blessed being involved in such a loving community. The world needs love, particularly now.

    Have a great week.

    1. Welcome! 🙂

       1. Thanks, Alan. Wonderful insight from you again this week.

          1. Thank you, deeply appreciated!!! 🙂

    2. I too love C R Harper’s haiku, the whole of it. What’s said, what isn’t.
       Of his sparse words, “ah” sums up my response to the depth of
       haiku this week.
       .
       Welcome, Craig. And welcome to your belief that “(t)he world needs love, particularly now.”

    3. Welcome!!!
       🙂

13. Thanks to Valentina, Judt, Kathy (kj), Barbara, Janice, and Alan, for your interpretations of my poem.

    1. No worries Pat! 🙂
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       .
       mountains
       sky and water
       my strokes rearrange them
       .
       Pat Davis
       Pembroke NH USA
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       .
       I think this would be a good one to read out at an open mic, or reading group too! 🙂

14. A deep bow to KJMunro for creating such a powerful haiku feature every week that has done so much for the art of haiku, thank you! 🙂
    .
    .
    And so many fine verses again this week!!! 🙂
    .
    .
    And welcome to Craig Kittner as guest editor! 🙂

    1. Ditto…I couldn’t say it better myself.

       Thanks Kathy. I think I have become a better poet, thanks to you and this column.

       Welcome Craig. I think I will learn plenty from you as well.

       Or as my older son says, “It’s all good.”

       1. thank you Alan & Nancy – I agree, it is all good! I have learned so much from the column too, & I’m so glad that others will share in this as guest editors!

15. Thank you Kathy for publishing my poem and your precious work.

    1. thank you for submitting Elisabetta!

16. Thanks a lot Kathy for months of encouragement and all the hard work you’ve been putting in. It helped us all so much with the practice of haiku. I looked forward to the column every friday. And now that you are behind the scenes hope you keep showing up as and when possible,convenient. All The very best to you.

    Thanks for your kind comments on my poem Alan. For me ‘flight path of geese’ found L1 to be so evocative. ‘ early sunset’ very poignant.’still water’ by Hifsa ‘ clear lake’ very clear image as well,worked for me. ‘fishing for shadows’ by Lucy Whitehead had a sense of melancholy,touched me. Madhuri’s poem,perhaps also for our poet friend Rachael as also Martha Magenta’s tribute.

    Thank you for this wonderful bunch ! love

    1. Thanks! 🙂
       .
       Arvinder said:
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       “Thanks for your kind comments on my poem Alan. For me ‘flight path of geese’ found L1 to be so evocative.”
       .
       That’s very kind! 🙂
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       water colours –
       the empty bottle
       of blue
       .
       arvinder kaur
       Chandigarh, India
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       Whether the water and sunlight creating new hues of blue, or watercolour painting, and a blue bottle, maybe Victorian, maybe Bristol or Bath blue glass, or pirates, I love it! 🙂

    2. thank you for your kind words, Arvinder!

17. summer lake
    where my family dines
    with the mosquito family
    .
    Victor Ortiz
    .
    A great image and tragicomic story.
    Only one thing bugs me. In the interests of rhythm and meter I would swap the order of the last two words. It would also be in keeping with a last word reveal or surprise.

    1. Thanks simonj for the comment and suggestion!

18. Thank you, Kathy, for starting this adventure and for all the hard work it took to keep it going! It has been quite an experience.

    In this week’s I particularly enjoyed:

    summer lake
    where my family dines
    with the mosquito family

    Victor Ortiz

    A wonderfully soft image – Issa lives!

    1. Issa is a fav or mine! Thank you Gary.

    2. thanks Gary!

19. Dear Kathy,

    Thank you for introducing and editing this column. It is a beautiful experience to learn about and grow with the haiku community represented here. In gratitude for your labors of love.

    1. thank you Marilyn – & long may the column continue, thanks to all of you, & especially Craig!

20. Kathy,

    For you the superlative Italian “bravissima!” —twice removed from “bravo,” and feminine to boot.
    I count it a unique boon to have unexpectedly happened upon Troutswirl while you superbly edited this column. It’s wonderful to be able to join the chorus thanking you for your sensitive selections, prompts and commentaries, always encouraging. Love too your gracious exit, “now I slip behind the scenes…” Hope you find lovely surprises awaiting you, along with well-deserved respite.

    1. thank you so much Christina!

21. summer lake
    where my family dines
    with the mosquito family
    Victor Ortiz
    Bellingham, WA

    Amusing.

    1. Glad you found it amusing, Valentina. Thank you!

       1. all Yukoners can also relate to this experience!

22. mountains
    sky and water
    my strokes rearrange them
    Pat Davis
    Pembroke NH USA

    Does strokes refer to the strokes of a paintbrush or has the author physically suffered a series of blood blockages commonly known as strokes? It is up to the reader to decide.

    1. A beautiful haiku. I saw a swimmer rearranging reflections of sky and mountains with every stroke…another possibility.

    2. The swimmer image was my initial response — both the artist and the stroke patient add to my appreciation of this poem and the poet’s fine choice of words.

    3. Yes! I saw the painter & the swimmer…

       1. For me, it is a stroke of a kayak or canoe paddle. The observer would be at a height above the water to observe the changing reflections. ??

          1. I saw a kayak or canoe as well.

    4. The idea of a swimmer did not occur to me. That works well.

23. Thank you KJ for publishing my poem, thank you Pat Davis for commenting my haiku and thanks to others who wrote memorial haiku for Rachel too.

    1. thank you Martha!

24. early sunset…
    my friend’s journey
    through the clouds
    (For Rachel Sutcliffe)
    Debbi Antebi

    Very nicely written.

25. A beautiful collection this week. Looking forward to the new adventure into What’s at Hand!

    1. me too!

26. Thank you Kathy for this lovely column and your precious work.

    1. thank you Eufemia!

27. I echo the sentiments others have posted Kathy and you have been kind in including my haiku and very inspirational. Thank you for including one of my haiku among these wonderful selections. Very much appreciate the haiku by Debi Antebi and the other haiku for Rachel Sutcliffe. Rachel was inspirational too. One of Rachel’s haiku is in the Jan. 30, 2019 Haikuniverse today:

    http://www.haikuniverse.com/haiku-by-rachel-marie-sutcliffe/

    1. thank you Sari!

28. early sunset…
    my friend’s journey
    through the clouds
    .
    Debbi Antebi
    A beautiful tribute for Rachel Sutcliffe, Debbi.
    .
    Thank you for including mine, Kathy, much appreciated.

    1. thanks, as always, for submitting, Carol!

29. Thanks, Kathy, for including mine in this week’s column – every poem has something to appreciate. I was especially taken by all the poems dedicated to Rachel Sutcliffe, and would like to share my thoughts about Martha Magenta’s poem:
    river mist
    a damselfly fades
    into the blue
    I think that comparing Rachel’s life to that of a damselfly’s is brilliant – though their lives are short, they are beautiful.

    mountain pose
    the long quiet between
    dawn and dusk
    I thought of the mountain pose in yoga, and visualized Sandi Pray in that pose meditating and losing track of the earth time between dawn and dusk.

    All the others deserve positive comments, and I’ll be reading them over and over, as they are so inspirational. This was my favorite photo of the series.

    1. thanks so much for this, Pat! I’m glad you like the photo – it is so nice to reflect on a perfect summer day when it is snowing outside! I called it ‘my Yukon’ because it conveys so much of what I love about living in this place…
       as for the poems – I meant to only include a dozen or so in each post this month, but I just couldn’t do it…

       1. Thanks for letting mine slip in! And thanks for all your efforts these 13 months.

          1. thanks Mark!

30. A great set of haiku. Thank you so much Kathy for your encouragement.

    1. thanks Hifsa Ashraf!

31. Dear esteemed poet,
    Greetings! Going through your expert comments – ever a boon and pleasure; very encouraging always. our strength interlaced with haiku analysis.
    with regards
    S.Radhamani

32. Dear Kathy,
    Greetings! A rewarding experience working with you– your expert choice and meticulous care, unforgettable, Immense thanks for choosing mine. GOD’S BLESSINGS ON YOU.
    With regards
    S.Radhamani

    1. thank you!

33. R.I.P. Rachel.

    All the tributes are beautiful, but Tia’s I find particularly apt.

    1. Thank you Helen. She was always so kind to me. And I loved getting daily updates from her blog. I’ll miss her haiku voice.

34. .
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    THE SILFRA FISSURE:
    When light meets shade – going outside karumi
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    When karumi means lightness, as if seeing the stream all the way through to its ‘base’ (streambed) what happens when we step outside a little, even though Basho’s last stage of writing was via the clearness of a stream?
    .
    .
    The Silfra Fissure
    The underwater visibility in the Silfra fissure is over 100 meters, making it some of the clearest water on the planet. Silfra is a rift formed in the tectonic boundaries between North American and Eurasian plates and is located at Þingvallavatn Lake in Þingvellir National Park in Iceland.
    .
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    These haiku, and the whole page has brilliant work, avoid either ‘telling’ or ‘over-telling’ so although they slip outside karumi in part of the poem, they balance each other at the same time.
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    mountain stream
    the speeding of clouds
    under current
    .
    Adjei Agyei-Baah
    Ghana/New Zealand
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    Great sense of movement and lucid water.
    .
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    the river is clear –
    clouds in transit
    towards the sunset
    .
    Angela Giordano
    Avigliano (PZ), Italy
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    .
    The opening line sets the place and context and is beautifully embellished, rather than unnecessarily enlarged upon. Love the middle line and the sense of movement.
    .
    .

     

     
    water colours –
    the empty bottle
    of blue
    .
    arvinder kaur
    Chandigarh, India
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    .
    Love those last two lines that follow a simple but effective opening line.
    .
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    blue lake
    troubling the sky
    with tears
    .
    cezar-florin ciobica
    .
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    Beautifully understated emotion.
    .
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    mood adjustment
    opening
    the tent flap
    .
    Charles Harmon
    Los Angeles, California, USA
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    .
    Neat opening line where the next line moves us to a simple solution and action. Great!
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    blue hush
    in my throat
    the sigh of mountains
    .
    Christina Pecoraro
    .
    .
    Beautiful last line that makes me enjoy reading the poem again in a different order. That’s a good aspect to use on occasion, the third line not concluding or placing a surprise. I want to read the third line again, straight after, as the first line, and enjoy all over again ‘blue hush in my throat’ which is utterly stunning!
    .
    .
    early sunset…
    my friend’s journey
    through the clouds
    .
    (For Rachel Sutcliffe)
    .
    Debbi Antebi
    .
    .
    The shock of losing someone special in the community of haiku writers cuts deep. The use of ‘early’ with ‘sunset’ and ‘through the clouds’ is apt and beautiful.
    .
    .

    the weight
    of my indecision
    standing water
    .
    Deborah P Kolodji
    Temple City, California
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    .
    Our pschological selves can carry as much weight as a bag of potatoes, or so it seems. Here we have an intriguing ‘standing water’ last line:
    .

    Standing water is a pool of water of any size that does not flow. It can occur after excessive rains, severe storms, from hurricanes or other natural events but can also be caused by human induced methods such as an old bucket or abandoned swimming pool.
    “Filterbutler dot com”
    .
    .
    Great use of a type of a body of water to help assist our clarifying doubts or that awful staticness of indecision.
    .
    .
     
    first trip:
    my mother’s womb
    .
    Giuliana Ravaglia
    .
    .
    Great juxaposition of two types of images! Brilliant and powerful.
    .
    .

     
    kingfisher’s
    broadband
    mirror
    .
    Helen Buckingham
    .
    .
    Here’s the “River Kingfisher” both common in the U.K. and Europe, and as I know, in Sri Lanka (with almost every kind of kingfisher too!). A complex combinition of imagery and words, yet easily broken down, especially if you’ve observed kingfishers:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pufnMHzK43U
    .
    .
    clear lake
    a swan settles
    on a cloud
    .
    Isabel Caves
    New Zealand
    .
    .
    Lovely final two lines that encapsulate the opening line, but avoids “explaining”.
    .
    .

     

     
    melting glaciers
    a bluer
    blue planet
    .
    Laurie Greer
    Washington, DC
    .
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    A combination of great sadness that we are losing our glaciers to oil exploration, an outmoded type of energy. A bluer blue planet, the last momentary gift of something disappearing for ever, perhaps?
     
    .
    .

     
    river water…
    mum’s words still smooth stones
    .
    Lucia Cardillo
    .
    I love that long second/last line!
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    .
     
    Rorschach test
    we go fishing
    for shadows
    .
    Lucy Whitehead
    Essex, UK
    .
    .
    Love those last two lines, which can be innocent, or otherwise, depending on how you combine lines one, with lines two + three.
    .
    .
     
    rock bottom
    no longer treading
    deep water
    .
    Margaret Walker
    .
    .
    Great opening line! We can take that first line literally in two different ways, which Japanese haikai verses are often adept at, in particular. ‘Rock bottom’ and ‘no longer’ and then ‘no longer treading” with ‘deep water’. Highly atmospheric with great economy of words generating more than one interpretation.
    .
    .

     
    river gorge
    the narrow gate
    of our prejudice
    .
    Marilyn Ashbaugh
    .
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    Powerful last line! That line turns the previous lines on their head, yet we see have that beautifully clear image before we ‘go beyond karumi’.
    .
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    first sky of the year
    a piece of cloud floating
    on the river
    .
    Neni Rusliana
    Indonesia
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    .
    Love that first line!!! 🙂 Fresh and original, and it gets better with clear and succinct concrete imagery paired with a touch of abstractness nudging gently beyond karumi but encapsulating the ethos of karumi at the same time.
    .
    .

     

     
    mountains
    sky and water
    my strokes rearrange them
    .
    Pat Davis
    Pembroke NH USA
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    .
    Wonderfully imaginative! And so accurate, when we swim in clear waters of the place, and of the haiku too! 🙂
    .
    .
     
    two rocky giants
    swallow    their own
    reflections
    .
    Radhamani sarma
    Chennai
    .
    I love how there is a long space (and pause) in the middle line beautifully crafting this verse into a memorable haiku!
    .
    .
     
    blue morning –
    beneath her pillow
    a neatly folded note
    .
    Réka Nyitrai
    .
    .
    Love the opening line, and despite the cutting of the verse in two with a dash, I feel the morning is blue as a wildflower or as poignant and sad as the type of music called the Blues. The strong addition of ‘neatly’ really resonates and leaves us wondering like any fine short story effect should do.
    .
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    mountain pose
    the long quiet between
    dawn and dusk
    .
    Sandi Pray
    .
    .
    Sandi Pray is an expert at nature focused haiku, and creates a wonderful middle line that can act as a type of pivot:
    .
    .
    mountain pose
    the long quiet between
    .
    .
    the long quiet between
    dawn and dusk
    .
    Creating a hush, and expansiveness, and that strong technique in haiku of ‘the in-between’.
    .
    .
     
    mountain shadows part
    divulging the clear water
    secrets set in stone
    .
    Sari Grandstaff
    Saugerties, NY, USA
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    .
    Lovely opening line! Love the decision of a stronger verb (divulging) which feels water-based as you see it and mouth it too. Great last line, and the wonderful temptation of reading the poem all over again in reverse order.
    .
    .
     
    end of summer
    a blistered foot warms
    alpen meltwater
    .
    simonj
    UK
    .
    .
    Great last two lines, and I can certainly relate! Great imagery of the Summer that is now coming to a close.
    .
    .

     
    standing
    in the shallows
    I drink deep
    .
    Susan Rogers
    Los Angeles Ca, USA
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    .
    A simple karumi haiku, and even though the water is shallow it is so clear, we can be tempted to drink deeply in appreciation, both literally and metaphorically.
    .
    .

     
    river through the valley
    every word
    from your pen
    .
    (in memory of Rachel Sutcliffe)
    .
    Tia Haynes
    Lakewood, Ohio
    .
    .
    The last two lines work beautifully with that simple but glorious scenic and expansive opening line. Wonderful tribute to our dearly missed Rachel too!
    .
    .

     
    clear water…
    the clouds glide over
    the river’s stones
    .
    Tomislav Maretic
    .
    .
    A terrific example of nudging past karumi! 🙂 Great sense of place and movement. We don’t always include movement and action with a sense of place, in general, but they go so well hand in hand.
    .
    .
     
    windless day
    the hill cools itself
    in the stream
    .
    Valentina Ranaldi-Adams
    Fairlawn, Ohio USA
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    .
    Simple but evocative opening line, where nothing stirs, or so it seems. Beautifully crafted middle line and we go back into the stream which was an example given by Basho as to what he wanted from haikai verses, that of a stream so clear we can see everything including the tiniest of creatures.
    .
    .

     
    summer lake
    where my family dines
    with the mosquito family
    .
    Victor Ortiz
    Bellingham, WA
    .
    .
    Love the suggestion of a family of mosquitoes having a lakeside picnic off the humans! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Alan, for commenting on my poem. Your comments are so educational, enjoyable, and they give us all more understanding of the depth and spirit of each poem.

       1. Thanks Pat!
          .
          That’s very kind of you to say so! 🙂
          .
          .
          mountains
          sky and water
          my strokes rearrange them
          .
          Pat Davis
          Pembroke NH USA
          .
          .
          Another great aspect of some of our haiku is that the reader can suddenly find themselves doing or experiencing in a kind of real time what is happening in the haiku. Great stuff!!!

    2. Thank you Alan for these commentaries on my haiku and the others. Very informative and helpful for me on my evolution as a haiku poet.

       1. Hi Sari! 🙂
          .
          Great example of when we can really bring in a strong and distinctive verb into haiku:
          .
          .
          mountain shadows part
          divulging the clear water
          secrets set in stone
          .
          Sari Grandstaff
          Saugerties, NY, USA
          .
          .
          And the alliteration from line one into line three doesn’t shout and makes the haiku even more special! 🙂

    3. Alan, I am honored by your complementary words for my haiku. Thank-you – Valentina

       1. Thank you! 🙂
          .
          .
          windless day
          the hill cools itself
          in the stream
          .
          Valentina Ranaldi-Adams
          Fairlawn, Ohio USA
          .
          .
          I love that ‘the hill cools itself’, especially as I feel the entire planet, and all its denizens (fauna and flora), are equally important and vital, and have their own life cycles to be respected.
          .
          The whole phrase (last two lines) is gorgeous, and brings me back to the opening line, to enjoy it all over again.

    4. Thank you, Alan! Your commentary is a poem filled with poems. Such a gift and inspiration.

       1. Thank you, that’s a lovely thing to say!!! 🙂
          .
          .
          river gorge
          the narrow gate
          of our prejudice
          .
          Marilyn Ashbaugh
          .
          .
          The choice of ‘gorge’ and then ‘narrow’ really help to add to the tension when we get to that unexpected and powerful last line.

    5. Dear esteemed poet,
       Greetings! Must be having enormous patience and perseverance to highlight and comment, very interesting and rewarding, , we read again them .
       with regards
       S.Radhamani

       1. Thank you! 🙂

    6. Alan, Though the task of commenting on each poem must take quite a bit of time, you so often reveal elements of each poem that I would otherwise have missed. They also enable me to see how I might have made changes in my own poem.

       Reading your comments is a highlight of this marvelous opportunity that Kathy has provided for us.

       Thank you!

       1. Margaret,
          Thank you!
          .
          I love getting underneath each haiku and seeing it from my perspective below where the sun is shining through, and of course seeing them from different angles of my perspective. 🙂
          .
          .
          rock bottom
          no longer treading
          deep water
          .
          Margaret Walker
          .
          .
          Although this haiku does not require any revision, in my humble opinion, it is an interesting exercise to create a few different versions, and running them all together to compare.
          .
          .
          Yes, Kathy has provided an incredible platform!!! 🙂

    7. Thanks, Alan, for your insightful take on this week’s varied haiku which I find almost sacred (both the haiku and your comments).
       Your response to mine is gratifying and humbling.

       1. Wow, thank you Christina!
          .
          You said:
          .
          “Thanks, Alan, for your insightful take on this week’s varied haiku which I find almost sacred (both the haiku and your comments). Your response to mine is gratifying and humbling. ”
          .
          .

          blue hush
          in my throat
          the sigh of mountains
          .
          Christina Pecoraro
          .
          .
          Beautiful last line that makes me enjoy reading the poem again in a different order. That’s a good aspect to use on occasion, the third line not concluding or placing a surprise. I want to read the third line again, straight after, as the first line, and enjoy all over again ‘blue hush in my throat’ which is utterly stunning!
          .
          .
          Your haiku took me back to Turkey a long time ago, when two wonderful guides showed me their favourite spot for sunsets. And more recently being astonished that my tired but wonderful Marrakech package holiday apartment had a grand view of the Atlas Mountains! 🙂

35. Thanks so much Kathy for all your work on this column. It’s been so stimulating and inspiring!

    1. thanks for this Lucy!

36. Kathy, thank-you for choosing one of mine this week. Also thank-you for all your efforts these past many weeks. I written many haiku because of this column that I would not have written otherwise.

    1. thanks Valentina – great to hear this!

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