HAIKU DIALOGUE – Literary Devices – onomatopoeia
Literary Devices with Guest Editor Alex Fyffe
For this series, I’d like to focus on the use of various literary devices in haiku. We tend to think of these techniques as applicable to longer lyric poetry – haiku is often taught to be a form without literary trappings, a simple breath of a poem, honest and straightforward, without ornament. Of course, this is a misconception, as the best haiku tend to be very carefully crafted, with one good poem often going through several revisions. And just like their longer cousins, haiku are capable of tackling metaphor, simile (despite what you might have heard), personification, symbolism, allusion, and any number of other techniques. Each week, we will take an in-depth look at a different technique and apply it to our haiku.
next week’s theme: alliteration
Continuing our exploration of sound in poetry, let’s take a close look at alliteration, consonance, and assonance. These are all three very closely related terms with slight differences between them.
Alliteration is the repetition of consonant sounds at the beginning of nearby words: “A snake slithered down the sidewalk.”
Consonance, as the name suggests, also deals with the repetition of consonant sounds but in the middle or at the end of nearby words: “The brick got stuck in the grackle’s nest.” (The hard “k” sound of “brick,” “stuck,” and “grackle” are examples.)
And finally, assonance refers to the repetition of vowel sounds in nearby words: “When he grins, it seems so simple to live.” (Here, the short “i” sound in “grins,” “it,” “simple,” and “live,” and even the way we pronounce “when,” are examples; note that “he” and “seems” are also examples of assonance with their long “e” sounds.)
Like onomatopoeia, these devices can sometimes be used to mimic the sound of the subject being written about, such as in my first example. “A snake slithered down the sidewalk” imitates the hissing sound of a snake. In this way, we get an onomatopoeic effect without directly using that device.
Repeating sounds can also help set the mood of a piece. Using lots of harsh noises together can create an uncomfortable or unsettling feeling in the reader (we call this cacophony), and using lots of soft sounds can create a soothing, mellow feeling (we call this euphony). Considering which words to choose to achieve these various effects is part of the fun of crafting poetry.
An example of sound devices creating cacophony: “The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!” (Lewis Carroll, “Jabberwocky”)
An example of sound devices creating euphony: “Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness…” (John Keats, “To Autumn”)
For this prompt, make effective use of alliteration, consonance, and/or assonance to make a haiku or senryu that sounds just right.
The deadline is midnight Central Daylight Time, Saturday July 30, 2022.
Please use the Haiku Dialogue submission form below to enter one or two original unpublished haiku inspired by the week’s theme, and then press Submit to send your entry. (The Submit button will not be available until the Name, Email, and Place of Residence fields are filled in.) With your poem, please include any special formatting requirements & your name & residence as you would like it to appear in the column. A few haiku will be selected for commentary each week. Please note that by submitting, you agree that your work may appear in the column – neither acknowledgment nor acceptance emails will be sent. All communication about the poems that are posted in the column will be added as blog comments.
below is Alex’s commentary for onomatopoeia:
I think the sound effect that came up most while reading through the submissions was “pitter-patter.” It showed up in about a dozen entries. And there were a few instances of “snap, crackle & pop,” too. But there is a great variety of other onomatopoeia to look at this week, so here are some of my favorites:
broken light dawn
rooks fill the air
with creaking floorboardsJohn Hawkhead
UK
Hawkhead’s unexpected comparison turns these rooks into noisy upstairs neighbors, creaking around at first light.
doof doof
football meet fence
…all summerTony Williams
Scotland, UK
The sound effect here might double as commentary on the “doof” who keeps kicking the ball against the fence. Williams even resorts to a kind of caveman speak (“football meet fence”). Combined with the ellipsis, there seems to be a lot of pent-up frustration over the neighbor.
pop-popping corn
the distant sound
of target practiceSeretta Martin
California, USA
In this poem, too, the onomatopoeia word works in two ways. We start in the household with the sound of popcorn popping – we can imagine a family perhaps getting ready for movie night – but then this sound is overlapped by a more unsettling popping somewhere in the neighborhood.
cloudy day
a robin’s
cheerupSusan Burch
Hagerstown, Maryland
In this charming haiku, the onomotopoeia of the bird’s cheeruping doubles as advice to the listener: Although it might be a gloomy day, cheer up. We can’t control the weather, but we can control how we feel about it. A very stoic robin, indeed.
a quick crunch–
my crown
cracksRuth Holzer
Herndon, Virginia
As someone who had to go in for an emergency root canal last week, I couldn’t help but relate to Holzer’s tooth woes in this poem. I, too, find those quick crunchy snacks hard not to give in to, much to my mouth’s dismay.
war memorial–
the whistle of mortars
mix with bird songMark Scott
Vermont, USA
Scott’s poem reminds me of a highly condensed version of Yusef Komunyakaa’s masterful “Facing It,” a poem about his visit to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in which he describes the things he sees in the reflective surface blending with memories of his time in Vietnam.
spring hike
a rosehip shrub
chiff-chaffsTomislav Sjekloća
Cetinje, Montenegro
Every week, I seem to learn something new. Two poets, I believe, used “chiff-chaff” as their sound word, so I had to look it up and discovered the chiffchaff, a type of bird I’d never heard of before. I like, too, how Sjekloća does not refer directly to the bird, only to the sound it makes coming from the shrub.
click click click my mouse digs a rabbit hole
P. H. Fischer
Vancouver, Canada
We’re all just a few clicks away from heading down the rabbit hole these days. I adore the way Fischer’s poem uses naturalistic imagery with double meanings to say so much so quickly.
Some other favorites:
distant train . . .
rails hum
warm on my earKathleen Trocmet
Texas, USA
the buoy’s clang
as a kittiwake lifts
dawn mistKeith Evetts
Thames Ditton, UK
my thoughts
crackling and hissing
alone at the campfireChittaluri Satyanarayana
Hyderabad, India
summer dawn
the crow’s caw gives it
its voiceSrini S
India
beach party –
the lonely barking
of a stray dogfesta in spiaggia –
l’abbaiare solitario
di un cane randagioMaria Teresa Piras
Sardinia, Italy
the purr of the prancing horse spider so red
simonj
UK
next to a music school
a train whistling
the tritoneAljoša Vuković
Croatia, Šibenik
bender—
the night bus and I
hiccup homeAdele Evershed
Wilton, Connecticut
buzzing of bees
ripe figs thump
in the afternoonStoianka Boianova
Bulgaria
pop!
first ripe
tomatoC.X. Turner
UK
tick
by tick –
my erasureVijay Prasad
Patna, India
children
sing the sun—
cock-a-doodle-doo!los niños
cantan el sol—
kikiriki!Jonathan Roman
Yonkers, New York
splash!
my daughter’s words
into my mindAmrutha Prabhu
Bengaluru, India
& here are the rest of the selections:
stunning sunshine
through the window…
a pigeon goes bam!!Marilyn Ward
Lincolnshire, UK
A whoosh of waves,
the seashell whispers
“Take me home.”Caroline Ridley-Duff
UK
night game
whiffs of smoke still
hold sunshineBilly Guerriero
Littleton, Colorado
listen…
the boom-boom-booming heartbeat
of sad newsDeborah Karl-Brandt
Bonn, Germany
cool breeze . . .
quacking and honking
on the lakeRonald Degler
Harbor City, California
volunteer job
hurry up, hurry up
croak the ravensJackie Chou
USA
shshshsh –
the rain falls slowly
on white lotusshshshsh –
cade lenta la pioggia
sul loto biancoDennys Cambarau
Sardinia, Italy
milk route
the mews of kittens
a mile awaymarilyn ashbaugh
Michigan, USA
matching Zoom blouse
and face mask
the cat’s meowCaroline Giles Banks
Minneapolis, Minnesota
snap crackle pop
two uniforms discuss
war over breakfastRobin Rich
Sussex of England
never
slap-slapped on any gym floor
my gym shoesRoberta Beach Jacobson
Indianola, Iowa
every journey a song a dolphin clicks
Richard Thomas
UK
ancestral shrine
susurrus of rain in the cypress
what need for prayersSonam Chhoki
Bhutan
tick-tock!
water drops
in empty canLakshmi Iyer
India
the bother
of the clock tick-tock . . .
sleepless nightRosa Maria Di Salvatore
Catania, Italy
quiet night—
his snoring calls
clear as a bellNitu Yumnam
India
old pond —
in the blue green bloom
nothing goes plopAlan Peat
Biddulph, UK
champagne pops from flute to flute choir staccato
Maxianne Berger
Outremont, Quebec
my writer’s block :: the click-clack of his keyboard
Marcie Wessels
San Diego, California
campfire
the snap crackle and pop
of breakfastCarol Reynolds
Australia
swaying trees
the clang clank crash
of a dog’s bowlRavi Kiran
India
pitter-patter…
the rain seeps
into my dreamNeena Singh
Chandigarh, India
the thud
of a fallen apple…
moving dayHifsa Ashraf
Rawalpindi, Pakistan
windy night
the rusty hinges creak
into the darkness风吹门扇频启闭
锈蚀铰链传响声feng chui men shan pin qi bi
xiu shi jiao lian chuan xiang shengChen Xiaoou
Kunming, China
lonesome night –
pitter-patter of the rain
lullabies meNatalia Kuznetsova
Russia
dry heat
the clunk clunk clunk
of bamboo chimesBryan Rickert
Belleville, Illinois
fledgling’s first flight
off a cliff face…
splat!Tracy Davidson
Warwickshire, UK
mudflat hiking
the squish of salt marshes
under my feetAnna Maria Domburg-Sancristoforo
The Hague, Netherlands
fluffy snow
two fluffy puppies
don’t stop yappingTsanka Shishkova
Bulgaria
gossips …
the crunch of hot bruschettas
in the roomDaniela Misso
Italy
chicchirichì
the first song of the cock
dawn wakes upVincenzo Adamo
Italy
pink moon
the thud of a fallen
grapefruitCynthia Anderson
Yucca Valley, California
night train
chugging
towards morningRam Chandran
India
a rustle …
pulling after her
soft legsMircea Moldovan
Romania
awooo!
my puppies remember
their originFranjo Ordanić
Croatia
cottonwood trees–
the rustle of her dress
as she walks awayLafcadio
USA
pitter patter the rain of tiny feet
Sushama Kapur
Pune, India
discord
only the clink
of soup spoonsRajeshwari Srinivasan
India
early dawn –
the trumpet of conch shell
during mom’s puja(In India, as a part of the ritual, conch shells aka shell trumpets are blown during God worship in temples and households in order to cleanse the air of evil spirits, accompanied by cymbals and chanting.)
Daipayan Nair
India
shh…
the stars
are speakingTiffany Shaw-Diaz
USA
gossip after funeral
a bee’s angry buzz
near the window paneArvinder Kaur
Chandigarh, India
“morepork”
calling souls
to the other side(In New Zealand there is a small brown owl called a morepork whose name describes its two-tone call. In Maori tradition it comes from the spirit world and its call close by can be a warning of death or a bad event.)
wanda amos
Old Bar, Australia
night orchestra
in a mango orchard –
frogs’ croaksNeera Kashyap
Delhi, India
freight marshalling yard
copying the prolonged screech
Dad’s African GreyIngrid Baluchi
North Macedonia
a loud tick
after midnight
mugginessLuciana Moretto
Treviso, Italy
walls whispering otherwise
Richa Sharma
India
moment of silence…
the shushhh of soil
slipping from my fingersLaurie Greer
Washington, DC
crow sounds the alarm
redtail hawk’s around again
morning wakeup cawKathleen Cain
Arvada, Colorado
after the funeral
the phone rings
in an empty houseJohn Pappas
USA
evening gongyo–
the twittering of passerines
before retiringMona Bedi
Delhi, India
abandoned hen house
the rusty-hinged door
squawksMarianne Sahlin
Sweden
colors in a row
of the freight train
… tutum tutumcolori in fila
del treno merci
…tutum tutumAngiola Inglese
Italy
one over the eight
ice plinking
in the plonkingHerb Tate
UK
smack!
under the whirring fan
another mosquitoMilan Rajkumar
Imphal, India
chakka-chh my View-Master of pretend summer vacations chakka-chh
Peg Cherrin-Myers
Franklin, Michigan
red woodpecker –
how it still ticks
the old memorypicchio rosso –
come ticchetta ancora
il vecchio ricordoMaria Cezza
Maglie, Lecce, Italy
CAW caw CAW caw
a debate
in the tree topSusan Farner
USA
squelching mud
the playground awash
with whoops and hootsLouise Hopewell
Australia
sunny afternoon…
a hummingbird zip-zips
from blossom to blossomNancy Brady
Ohio, USA
early morning thoughts
about murder…
the crows keep cawingBaisali Chatterjee Dutt
Kolkata, India
midnight swoosh of cars one by one by one….
Padma Rajeswari
Mumbai, India
heatwave
plop …even a drop of rain
explodesMinal Sarosh
Ahmedabad, India
summer trudges on
the slap-slap
of flip-flopspetro c. k.
Seattle, Washington
lonely moon
learning to live
without his patterSushma A. Singh
Lucknow, India
psst
a raindrop’s calling
from the candleJames Gaskin
Fukushima, Japan
gentle tug…
the soft sussuration
of my silk sariSuraja Roychowdhury
Lexington, Massachusetts
July afternoon
grass crackles underfoot
while I worryDanita Brandt
Michigan, USA
vroom
a little red car
stops by her footZahra Mughis
Lahore, Pakistan
the steady tick-tick
of an old clock . . .
heart doctor’s officeValentina Ranaldi-Adams
Fairlawn, Ohio USA
hummmmmmmmmmingbird
Helen Ogden
Pacific Grove, California
shooting star
the splash of water
from a stoneLori Kiefer
London, UK
breakfast for two
sizzling grease pops
on her dressM. R. Defibaugh
USA
Kyoto temple
each gong
penetratesJonathan Epstein
Los Angeles, California
climate change
a frog lands on the old pond
with a thump!Sebastien Revon
Ireland
autumn leaves
floating down from the tree
a warbler’s trillSue Courtney
Orewa, New Zealand
mountain walk –
a burbling stream replays
old conversationsAnnie Wilson
Shropshire, UK
cicada season
the buzzing
of my sleeping feetPippa Phillips
Kansas City, Missouri
chimney sweeps
chitter in the closed room
creaking floorboardsHerbert Shippey
Tifton, Georgia
cicadas’ chirrup
lullabying me to sleep
under aleppo pinesCristina Povero
Italy
the last dinner guests
finally head home
‘quawk of a night heronSari Grandstaff
Saugerties, New York
my first sight
sound of a small bird
Fuuuuji! Fuuuuji!Kath Abela Wilson
Pasadena, California
thwack
the measured response
of grade school nunsLorraine Padden
San Diego, California
pug puppies
whimper and suckle
the mom yawnsRichard Straw
Cary, North Carolina
honk!
goose playing chicken
with a Honda CivicAllyson Whipple
St. Louis, Missouri
cobblestones
where the hot top is worn away
the rag man’s horse snickersTim Cremin
Massachusetts, USA
blooming honeysuckle
the buzz
in the secret gardenSangita Kalarickal
USA
widows talk
a crinkling
of tissue packetsMaurice Nevile
Canberra, Australia
deep water \
the large stones kerplunking
south of middle CD. M. MacDonald
Sacramento, California
crack of dawn…
my articulations
start squeackingFlorin C. Ciobica
Romania
Guest Editor Alex Fyffe teaches high school English in the Houston area. Although he has been writing haiku off and on for a decade, he only started submitting his work during the Global Event known as 2020. Since then his haiku and senryu have been published in various journals, including Frogpond, Modern Haiku, Failed Haiku, Akitsu Quarterly, and the Asahi Haikuist Network. Alex’s first glimpse of haiku was in a collection of writings by Jack Kerouac, and he found the work of Issa while studying abroad in Japan, but he didn’t fall in love with the haiku until he discovered the free-form work of Santoka Taneda. Currently, Alex uses haiku in the classroom to ease students into poetry and build their confidence as readers and writers. Alex also posts haiku on Twitter @AsurasHaiku.
Lori Zajkowski is the Post Manager for Haiku Dialogue. A novice haiku poet, she lives in New York City.
Managing Editor Katherine Munro lives in Whitehorse, Yukon Territory, and publishes under the name kjmunro. She is Membership Secretary for Haiku Canada, and her debut poetry collection is contractions (Red Moon Press, 2019). Find her at: kjmunro1560.wordpress.com.
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy.
Please note that all poems & images appearing in Haiku Dialogue may not be used elsewhere without express permission – copyright is retained by the creators. Please see our Copyright Policies.
This Post Has 21 Comments
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Alex, thank you thank you for choosing mine too. Onomatopoeia in haiku is beautiful.
Congratulations to all participating poets.
Hi Alex
Thanks for selecting my ‘rook floorboards’ for comment. It’s amazing to hear a flock of them going over my hose in the mornings as they fly out to the fields. There were lots of good haiku this week, but I have to single this comedy moment out:
bender—
the night bus and I
hiccup home
Adele Evershed
Wilton, Connecticut
‘house’ not ‘hose’ – that would be weird!
Great pick. I also got a chuckle out of the pun in Cain’s poem:
.
crow sounds the alarm
redtail hawk’s around again
morning wakeup caw
Kathleen Cain
Arvada, Colorado
Very lively!
How we love to be poets, and irrepressibly introduce devices from Western poetic traditions into this supposedly austere genre. It’s a blast to have the editorial encouragement here. And this week, to underline the importance of sound in poetry. Thank you, Alex.
This week’s Dialogue was so much fun, I’ve always found much inspiration in this column bit this one was a joy to read, especially out loud. Thanks so much Alex for including me, it’s been quite enjoyable playing around with these literary devices. I might add that someone already has a shoe-in for next week’s column with the use of consonance!
a quick crunch–
my crown
cracks
Ruth Holzer
Herndon, Virginia
I’ve seen several poems over the past couple of weeks that could have easily fit into this week’s alliteration exercise. And yes, this one is a prime example, with the alliteration strengthening the onomatopoeia, those hard “c” sounds crunching and cracking as they do. Thank you for highlighting it!
Ah yes, I meant alliteration, I guess I briefly got confused because of the hard c in consonance matches up with the hard c’s in that haiku. I guess I wanted consonance to describe what was going on 😄
Thank-you Alex for this week’s selections and for your commentary on my poem.
A deep bow to KJ, Lori and the Haiku Foundation as well for ensuring that HD remains the highlight of every Wednesday morning for me. So many great poems this week. Alan Peat’s haiku jumps out at me (no pun intended) as a profound homage to a classic, highlighting how climate change increases the incidence of toxic algae blooms which threaten life in the venerable old ponds we hold dear:
old pond —
in the blue green bloom
nothing goes plop
Alan Peat
Biddulph, UK
Congrats to all the poets!
Peter
Thank you for you fine comments on my popping poem. Isn’t it strange how a simular sound can have such different sources…one creates comfort and the other mystery or fear if you know the source is guns.
A wonderful selection of verses, Alex. Congratulations to all poets.
Thank you Alex for including my haiku here and congratulations to all the poets! Lots of wonderful haiku to ponder. Thank you to Kathy and Lori for our weekly Haiku Dialogue too. I especially enjoyed this one:
thwack
the measured response
of grade school nuns
Lorraine Padden
San Diego, California
a wonderful orchestra of sights and travels, thank you, again, alex and thf family for this series of workshops.
MUST COMMENT HERE:
this one by peg….holds great nostalgia for me! as… early as i can remember, i wanted to be a photo-journalist, and would have loved to go on vacation with my family as a child…and take snapshots of the scenery and new family adventures….but we were quite monetarily poor….however, very rich in imagination and invention! the view master toy would double well, as a camera, with that clunky lever while my imagination would swirl up a reel of mystery lands to visit and uncountable stories to share.
thanks….for writing this peg and bringing back the sounds and early dreams of my childhood:
and i love how your made up sounds appear as bookends…or air-quotes and how it pairs with your made up story in you childku poem.
chakka-chh my View-Master of pretend summer vacations chakka-chh
Peg Cherrin-Myers
Franklin, Michigan
I also remember having one of these toys as a child, although I think we called them “viewfinders” in my household. Thank you for sharing your memories!
Oh, thank you for your comment Wendy! Made my week! I’m so happy it connected with you. Yes, we were monetarily poor as well, and that was one way I could escape into an imaginary world. 😊
Thank you again!!!
This one was ssssooooo much fun to read!!! Full of personal touches and experiences! From all the poets!
Thank you for feeling the sound in Fuuuuji!!! That was a true experience too! I had written a tanka about hearing, but not seeing the hidden bird, a warbler …Japanese uguisu the first moment I saw Fuji . ( unforgettable!) I put it in the tanka just as fuji fuji and it was very aporeciated by Japanese judges…..
But it took this special focus given on onamatapoeia to realize by research how full of this technique Japanese is, and how appreciated it is in the language! So I was able to learn that… and emphasize it more! That is how I came to spell it out as a sound. I love the learning , with patience, that is possible through these calls!
Yes, Japanese has an absurdly large amount of onomatopoeia words, as any avid manga readers out there will know. Sound effects almost take on their own character in manga. And Japanese poetry and literature, in general, make great use of onomatopoeia, too. Thank you for sharing the story behind your haiku. I’m happy to hear you were able to connect with the theme so well.
Alex, thank-you for choosing mine. Also thank-you to Kathy, Lori, and the
Haiku Foundation. Thank-you to all the poets including those whose haiku
were not selected.
This week’s selections are a cacophony of sounds, congrats to all. Am impressed with them all, but Louise Hopewell’s squelches haiku is so wonderful for the sound it makes. Squishy, sucking, mud between the toes fun…no wonder the children are whooping. Valentina ‘s haiku pairing the clock ‘s ticking with the cardiologist ‘s office, fantastic. Petro’s slap of flip flops, spot on. Will be examining and reading more deeply throughout the week, Thanks for including one of mine, Alex.
Highly impressed by the variety.
Me, too…succinctly said, Simon.