HAIKU DIALOGUE – Going for a Walk – on top of the world (mountains) – commentary

Going for a Walk with Guest Editor Deborah Karl-Brandt

The late Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh could see water in all its transformations. Water in the form of a cloud would soon become rain, a river, the sea, and it would help grow plants and trees. The trees would flourish and become paper on which the haijin would write their poetry, so that the cloud (water) would eventually be contained within the poetry itself. Nothing can exist by itself. Let’s take a walk together to follow the different paths of water and see where they will lead us.

Below is Deborah’s commentary for on top of the world (mountains):

eating mountain plums
the sun has withered –
name and all

Deborah A. Bennett
Illinois, USA

This haiku awakens in me the feeling of a love that has come to an end. The plum has a special symbolic meaning in China and Japan. Blossoming in winter, it often symbolizes love. The love in this haiku was once full and young and now only withered fruit remains. The woman has grown old and her partner has replaced her with a younger, wrinkle-free version. Now she wants to know the name of her beloved. A cliché, but one that is based on the experiences of many women and men.

uphill climb—
an elderly father ascends
on his son’s back

Gwen Bitti
Australia

A son and a father on the way to the summit. What initially appears to be a humorous work has hidden abysses. At best, it is an act of filial piety towards an elderly parent; at worst, the son is alone with his father’s ashes on the way to the summit to scatter his mortal remains. The word ‘ascends’ seems to make this interpretation more likely. This haiku exposes the reader to an emotional roller coaster and opens up scope for interpretation.

social taboos —
all the mountains
mother crossed

Madhuri Pilla
Melbourne, Australia

The lives of women today and a hundred years ago are fundamentally different. Women’s suffrage, equal rights, access to education, the free choice of love interest, access to contraception. Today, women can choose their path from a multitude of possible life models. And they owe this to their predecessors, who paved the way for them. This haiku is also a reminder of how often women around the world are still discriminated against and their rights curtailed because of their gender.

you and i
climbing Mt Fuji …
next lifetime

Natalia Kuznetsova
Russia

This haiku is an homage to the famous snail haiku by Issa. But while Issa’s poem has a certain lightness to it and makes a hopeful view of the future seem possible, resignation can be felt here. What once seemed possible will no longer become reality. Instead of the beginning of a journey, we have arrived at the end. The poem works on its own, but if you look at it together with Issa’s work, the resonance between the two haiku opens up further scope for interpretation.

mountain trek —
explaining the smart phone
to a senior

Rupa Anand
New Delhi, India

More than 3 million people in Germany do not use a smartphone. This is a major problem, as more and more of our everyday activities, such as carrying out banking transactions, buying tickets for public transport, paying via app at the supermarket or making doctor’s appointments, are based on knowing how to use a smartphone and apps. It is often older people who are overwhelmed by this. They are also often cut off from the flow of information within the family because family members are increasingly using messaging to communicate. It may feel like a strenuous mountain hike to help older people understand and use a smartphone properly. But it’s definitely worth a try, as this skill will make their lives a lot easier and perhaps improve their social connections too.

young Sherpa —
carrying the weight
of the world

Shruti Patel
Zurich, Switzerland

Climate change is hitting the mountain regions hard. Glaciers are melting, mountain slopes that rest on permafrost can slide down when the ground thaws. Although climate change is a problem that is mainly driven by the CO2 emissions of first-world countries, other regions of the world such as the Fiji Islands, areas in Africa or mountain regions are particularly affected. The people living there are losing their (traditional) way of life and their livelihood along with their homeland. The young Sherpa literally carries the weight of the whole world on their shoulders. A very evocative haiku.

land … slides
into the village valley
dust to dust

Kavita Ratna
India

Another very evocative haiku from Kavita Ratna drastically describes the consequences of climate change for humanity. In the end, only self-inflicted death awaits. The last line hits particularly hard. Its highly symbolic meaning results from the use of the phrase at Christian funerals. The image it creates leaves the reader as a mourner at the grave. The reader remains passive, a silent witness to the events and is ultimately a sufferer in the truest sense of the word.

cold mountain stream
how I wished for this
last summer

Tony Williams
Scotland

A wish come true. It took a year and now…now there are questions. Was it worth the wait? Was it really that important? Does the reality come close to the dream? Why did the wish a year earlier remain unfulfilled? Was the summer hotter? Did the lyrical self live somewhere else? What is certain is that the lyrical self has come a long way between the past and the present. Whether the old days were not so bad after all in retrospect or the future held a better present remains unsaid. A haiku that catches you hot and cold.

unnoticed monument
of climbing accident
wandering butterfly

Teiichi Suzuki
Japan

For many of us, being out and about in the mountains is a pleasure, a leisure activity. We pursue it full of joie de vivre and often forget that we are only one step away from our possible end. The path is treacherous, even if it doesn’t seem that way. The memorial goes unnoticed. It remains to be seen whether the ascent will continue. The butterfly can stand for our fleeting existence, the beauty of the nature that surrounds us or for a soul that is on its way to the afterlife. A multi-layered haiku that resonates for a long time.

my search
on the top
only melting snow

Vishnu Kapoor
Chennai, India

Mountains are considered sacred in many cultures. Gods, but also demons, dwell there. Saints hiked through the mountains and climbed peaks as part of their religious practice. The proximity of heaven and the sacred is particularly strong there. And then this: someone has climbed the mountain and there is (only) melting snow on the summit? The search has come to an end, but disappointment remains. Even the snow is not glorious, pure and cold, but melting. Perhaps climate change is the culprit. Perhaps difficult feelings are dissolving, transforming into something life-giving, perhaps it is the disappointing end of a spiritual journey. We don’t know, but the possibility of multiple interpretations is what makes this haiku so rich. The individual in this haiku has definitely reached an important turning point in their life.

seeking a way forward…
to go down rabbit holes
or climb a mountain

wanda amos
Australia

How to cope? The times are challenging our beliefs and our sense of security. The way we go about this is as individual as the people themselves. Some of us will choose to remain passive, others will look for ways to escape into other realities. In this haiku, the lyrical self is caught between extremes. This haiku thrives on opposites: passive (escaping reality) vs. active (mountain climbing), down (rabbit hole) vs. up (mountain peak), fantasy world (rabbit hole) vs. reality (mountain peak). And yet this haiku does not evaluate, does not make a statement about which way is right or wrong. In the end, it is an individual decision. And didn’t we all like following Alice down her rabbit hole?

Join us next week for our next prompt…

Guest Editor Deborah Karl-Brandt lives in Bonn, Germany, with her husband, two rabbits and numerous books. After her PhD studies in Scandinavian languages and literatures, she now works as a freelance author and poet. One of her poems won 2nd place in the 2021 Pula Film Festival Haiku Contest. Her poems have most recently appeared in Prune Juice, Kingfisher, First Frost, Frogpond, Failed Haiku and Tsuridoro. If she is not outside for a long stroll or to do some birdwatching, she is an avid reader who is currently exploring Chinese Xianxia Webnovels.

Lori Zajkowski is the Post Manager for Haiku Dialogue. A novice haiku poet, she lives in New York City.

Managing Editor Katherine Munro lives in Whitehorse, Yukon Territory, and publishes under the name kjmunro. She is Membership Secretary for Haiku Canada, and her debut poetry collection is contractions (Red Moon Press, 2019). Find her at: kjmunro1560.wordpress.com.

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy.

Please note that all poems & images appearing in Haiku Dialogue may not be used elsewhere without express permission – copyright is retained by the creators. Please see our Copyright Policies.

Photo Credits:

Banner photo credit: Andreas Brandt

Haiku Dialogue offers a triweekly prompt for practicing your haiku. Posts appear each Wednesday with a prompt or a selection of poems from a previous week.