Author Topic: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?  (Read 18277 times)

merlot

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2010, 07:33:56 PM »
Colin, go ahead and use it. I lack the skills to do anything with it.

colin stewart jones

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2010, 07:55:17 PM »
ok will do

what is your real name?

col
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sandra

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2010, 10:35:30 PM »
I always get a kick out of discovering a haiku that I love and THEN realising (or sometimes not until it's pointed out to me!) that it's 5-7-5.

The worst ones are obvious, the great ones aren't - not a spare word contained therein.

Personally, I write "free-form"  haiku and on the odd occasion when I have tried 5-7-5 have found it extremely tough to do anything decent, so hats off to those who write well within the confines of a syllable count.

I don't count syllables at all, but judge the poem's rhythm and pacing on its sound when I read it aloud.


Which is a good tip for new writers - read your poem aloud. If the tongue trips over a word or a pair of words, then the eye is likely to as well. If you read aloud (even under your breath is good if you're surrounded by non-poets) you will quickly "hear" the edits that need to be made.

Gael Bage

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2010, 10:39:37 AM »
17 syllables might not be 5-7-5 it could be 1235321, a fibonacci haiku
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 10:45:07 AM by Gael Bage »
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance
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Laura Sherman

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2010, 01:13:05 PM »
I love fibonacci haiku!  I kind of like the math element in 575, but have stopped striving for that count. Now and again I hit it quite accidentally and feel it works.

I wrote a math inspired haiku about a chess tournament (I'm a chess coach):

forty eager faces
twelve hundred and eighty squares
one winner

(I doubt it will win any awards, but I wanted to share the experience of watching 40 of our students all intent on their games. It was a powerful moment!)

Gael Bage

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2010, 02:10:43 PM »
Hi Laura, lovely haiku.  I tried to post a fib ku but like to see them centered and couldn't work out how to do it. Fibonacci are fun to do but take patience.
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance
- Carl Sandburg

chibi575

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #21 on: December 18, 2010, 05:57:26 PM »
5-7-5:

five dash
seven dash
five !

I've always understood that the 5 count 7 count 5 count was a misunderstood transfer from a totally differently constructed language that counts 5 letters (delineated by the Japanese ear for each letter) 7 letters (dileneated by the Japanese ear for each letter) 5 letters (delineated by the Japanese ear for each letter traditionally written in one vertical line when read is a natural comfortable rhythm of poetics.  When heard, if anyone has heard haiku from a native Japanese is challenged if not Japanese or does not speak Japanese fluently, to hear those breaks.

Now... how that became the gospel in English to be associated with syllables is becoming beyond my fathom, sorry.  I just blame it as a failing of Blythe and curse me for it if you will.

In fact, count or not... a good poem is a good poem and I've seen many more good poems that don't count (pun).
知美

Gael Bage

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2010, 08:41:42 PM »
count or not?
many good poems
don't count

enjoyed the pun Chibi  ;D
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance
- Carl Sandburg

Don Baird

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #23 on: December 18, 2010, 09:13:04 PM »
12345
12345 I need
nearly two more hands

 :P
I write haiku because they're there ...

through
the hole of a cheerio,
spring!

HaikuCowboy

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2010, 08:08:20 PM »
That is hysterical, but I do bend when it comes to 5-7-5.  I sent out a xmas card and wanted to include a ku, so I wrote it in 5-7-5 so non-ku people would know that it was a haiku.  Maybe I should be more draconian, though. ;-)


I would like to post a roadside sign by the side of  the haiku writer's highway. It would read:

     REDUCED
SYLLABLE COUNT
     AHEAD

LOL! That is pretty good!  ;)
Lucas
Minneapolis

AlanSummers

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #25 on: December 30, 2010, 07:37:18 AM »
Hi Lucas,

I don't think it's draconian if you write a haiku for friends and family. ;-)  Just call it modern haiku or ichigyoshi haiku even. ;-)

It's a shame someone would prefer to read a badly composed 17 syllable attempt at haiku as haiku but think little of something really well written in under 17 syllables.

Perhaps this calls for a series of good 17 syllable haiku to have ready for all occasions? ;-)

Alan

cat

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #26 on: December 30, 2010, 09:36:30 AM »
I sent out a xmas card and wanted to include a ku, so I wrote it in 5-7-5 so non-ku people would know that it was a haiku.  Maybe I should be more draconian, though. ;-)

Hello, Lucas,

That is what we call "a teachable moment".  Educate your family and friends that haiku are not always 5-7-5!  If we all did that, more people would understand that modern English-language haiku is not what they thought they learned in school.  And more people would read and enjoy it.

cat
"Nature inspires me. I am only a messenger."  ~Kitaro

AlanSummers

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #27 on: January 08, 2011, 09:43:30 AM »
I think this is a (gulp) 575 haiku?  If you accept that 'stopped' is two phonemes but one syllable? ;-)


another hot day
a leaking water pipe stopped
by the jackdaw’s beak

Alan Summers
Honourable Mention, 14th Mainichi Haiku Contest (2010)

cat

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #28 on: January 08, 2011, 10:21:57 AM »
Hello, Alan,

The difference between haiku that turn out to be 5-7-5 naturally, and ones that are padded to get to the count, is monumental.  (I'm not saying anything everyone doesn't already know.) 

Yours needs every word.  Well done.

cat
"Nature inspires me. I am only a messenger."  ~Kitaro

AlanSummers

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Re: Why do some people feel 575 is the only way to go?
« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2011, 01:22:31 PM »
Thanks Cat, and it may be my best 575er, so great to include it as an example in my workshops if someone still insists on doing those but avoids the responsibility of syntax, line breaks, hanging thingies. ;-)

Alan

 

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