Author Topic: Haiku - seeking feedback  (Read 896 times)

Padmarajeswari

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Haiku - seeking feedback
« on: February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM »
Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma

AlanSummers

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Re: Haiku - seeking feedback
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2021, 02:40:24 AM »
Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma

Padmarajeswari

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Re: Haiku - seeking feedback
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2021, 03:24:18 AM »
Thanks so much for your quick response Allan. And your encouraging words.

Look forward to more guidance as I take few more baby steps in this journey.

Regards,
Padma




Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma
Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma

AlanSummers

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Re: Haiku - seeking feedback
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2021, 04:03:07 AM »
Apologies,

We are both spelling each other's name incorrectly.

I just have one "l" :-)

Alan

Should I say more correctly Padmarajeswari?

And have you tried the wonderful mentoring boards which are private and cannot be seen until signed into?

warm regards,
Alan

Thanks so much for your quick response Allan. And your encouraging words.

Look forward to more guidance as I take few more baby steps in this journey.

Regards,
Padma




Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma
Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma