Author Topic: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)  (Read 4962 times)

Stewart Baker

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A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« on: December 12, 2012, 01:18:31 PM »
For Christmas this year I'm having my wife's and my wedding rings resized (they never fit) and engraved (we were always too lazy).

I'd like to put something a bit more interesting and meaningful than the usual "here is when we got married" on it.

I think a one-line haiku would fit the bill.  Anybody have any good ideas?  Essential epithets/kigo that refer to stability and permanence?  Or equilibrium-like dynamism?

"Matched pair" would make a neat start.

matched pair-- even when the rain threatens

?

I'm lousy at this sorta stuff...

40 character limit, including spaces, if anybody else is game to have a go. :)

Snow Leopard

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2012, 03:00:37 PM »
A great idea, Stewart. :)

Just to start the brain storming here's my two coppers' worth :

paired hearts wing beat of a dove in sun and rain


This has 39 characters and includes your opening line with a slight difference.

In the myths about birds, the dove seems to be associated with unconditional love, purity and grace.

http://www.shawcreekbirdsupply.com/mythology.htm

Good luck with this wonderful search. :)

Snow Leopard

Stewart Baker

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2012, 03:27:16 PM »
Nifty.  Can't go wrong with doves...  :)

Much appreciated, SL!  (I think with spaces counted, that might go over the character limit, but I like the ideas you've given me)

paired hearts even in the rain the doves

^ is 39 characters (counting spaces).  Too short!

Playing more on doves:

paired even in darkness the doves’ wings  (39 char)

even in darkness the doves' white wings   (39char)

« Last Edit: December 12, 2012, 04:56:51 PM by Stewart Baker »

Don Baird

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2012, 08:51:43 PM »
sun rain -- soul mates now and forever  (38)
I write haiku because they're there ...

storm drain
the vertical axis
of winter

Stewart Baker

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2012, 10:14:34 PM »
sun rain -- soul mates now and forever  (38)
Nice one, Don!  And a whole two characters to spare even with the em-dash.  :o

Don Baird

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2012, 02:36:45 AM »
Thanks, Stewart!  Glad you like it. Blessings.

Don
I write haiku because they're there ...

storm drain
the vertical axis
of winter

sandra

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2012, 03:50:38 AM »
Hello Stewart,

What a nice idea.

your hand in mine shared heartbeat

your hand in mine heart music

All the best,
Sandra

Stewart Baker

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2012, 12:16:11 PM »
Thanks, Sandra!

I showed my wife the options and we're going with:

Quote
paired even in darkness the doves’ wings

Much appreciate all the feedback.  :)

Snow Leopard

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Re: A slightly odd request (wedding ring haiku brainstorm)
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2012, 12:21:11 PM »
Quote
I showed my wife the options and we're going with:

Quote
paired even in darkness the doves’ wings



An excellent choice, Stewart.  :)

Maybe it's already too late for this suggestion. You could par it down without the

paired even in darkness doves’ wings


Just a thought ...

Snow Leopard