Hi,
thank you for being around,
will you look at these pauses that I register as I read the one liners, and tell me if the pauses I take are how the compositions should be read?
It is said that haiku is read in one breath, and often I feel that the one liner expresses it the best, but then I go and contradict myself, what can I say, ...
anyways
1. in Fukushima's waves the blue half life
In Fukushima's waves [pause] the blue half life
what a spectacular composition
2.
among the sunlit wrecks caws of Kesennuma
among the sunlit wrecks[pause] caws of Kesennuma
I also seem to want to pause like this after reading it more than once:
among [pause] the sunlit wrecks [pause] caws of Kesenuma
3.
cobbled street passing me the horse-drawn cart
cobbled street passing me [p] the horse-drawn cart
this is where the confusion arises in the one liners for me:
the first read, reads like above, but after reading it and comprehending it, I read it as
cobbled street[p]passing me[p] the horse-drawn cart
and the next read transforms to
cobbled street [p] passing me the horse-drawn cart
One thing I noticed is how very important the hyphen is- in horse-drawn - is, without which, the pause changes, what we do have with the hyphen is a drawn out stretch but not a pause.
I think I will wait for your response before I do the other two, or maybe someone else can attempt them to further the discussion, ...
Thankyou-Martin
