The Haiku Foundation Forums

Hi Beth,

Quote from: Beth Vieira on January 26, 2015, 07:22:27 AM
I was reading a book called The Pursuit of Loneliness: Chinese and Japanese Nature Poetry in Medieval Japan, ca. 1050-1150 and came across an interesting discussion of the waka-related term "soku," which refers to a "distant" or "fragmented" link. I started playing around with the notion that maybe a new kind of haiku could be written that was really soku. In other words, you take the idea of juxtaposition to the extreme limit, just as Richard Gilbert did with "disjunction," and write poems where the link is distant and dissonant rather than close and consonant. Of course the trick would be to have something that held the poem together even so. In linked verse this is not as much an issue, but with a short poem on its own, there would have to be some effort spent making the poem work without becoming a puzzle for the reader.

There are examples of recent haiku that seem to use disjunction, but people have not connected it to soku as far as I know. For instance, Peter Yovu has a poem in Roadrunner that goes

the cold of a question
stars of eight legs
dangle

I'm not sure if it's the best example to start with, but it does serve the purpose of showing that the juxtaposition truly is just that, two separate things placed in relation. The poem doesn't break apart under the pressure of such a distant link; it is made all the more eerie. The poem uses metaphor liberally to help the overall effect, with the words "cold" and "stars" as sort of mini-disjunctions.

I wonder when people decide about juxtapositions, what the general thought process is and if the idea of a distant link ever comes to mind.

It's fantastic to see you back, I've greatly missed your presence.

Indeed Richard Gilbert inspired me to go for more extreme or distant juxtaposition, and I composed a number of them one year, some of them appearing in my collection Does Fish-God Know (YTBN Press 2012).

More recent ones might be:


childbirth
the bones of fairies
reside in me

Alan Summers
September 2014  issue of Scope (FAWQ) Climbing Mount Fuji Slowly


fleeting clouds
my jagged man wears
an albatross

fliehende Wolken
mein Zackenmann trägt
einen Albatross

haiku by Alan Summers
German version by Ralph Broker
VerSuch ... das projekt gendai haiku 01.07.2014 Wartende wir


Forgotten rain
the wedding ring left
in a doll's house

Alan Summers
Asahi Shimbun (Japan 2014)


epidermal tongues-
she scales my 200 bones
on a banana leaf   

Alan Summers
Pulse—voices from the heart of medicine 2014

Although lately I've narrowed the juxtaposition between each haiku, and looked again into seasonal references.

But I think it's extremely healthy for people to go for extreme juxtaposition, just for a while, perhaps at least a few months, and then pull back just a little, so everything balances out.  It's a way of shaking not just the cobwebs out, but the near cause and effect process, the factoid even, that the Western version of the Japanese version of the Western technique of sketching from nature aka shasei (in Japan) can be, if we are not careful.

Vive la difference!

.
Just curious if anyone else entered this organisation.


Shambhala Times First Annual Midwinter Haiku Contest
http://shambhalatimes.org/2014/11/19/first-annual-midwinter-haiku-contest/#more-120317


I received a notification but it only mentioned my entry as a Semi-Finalist.

kind regards,

Alan

Just over three weeks to go to the deadline of February 15th 2015.

warm regards,

Alan

Hi Anna,

Quote from: Anna on January 20, 2015, 05:49:42 PM
Alan

it comes from a one line haiku,

it is the one liner.  Nothing beyond except thought and the visuals.


thanks.

In this instance (this post) I'm really interested in 3-line haiku that start with the fragment (one-line section), but could possibly include 3-line haiku that start with the two-line phrase, whether it's just the first line of the phrase, or the whole phrase.

I'm looking forward to people posting examples. :)

warm regards,

Alan

Hi Anna,

Quote from: Anna on January 20, 2015, 06:14:02 PM


Given that there are different kinds of readers,  could it be possible that there are different ways they pause in a haiku,

I would imagine that some haiku writers might use punctuation differently than used in other poetry, other literary genres.

Quote

in regular poetry,  we use line breaks or punctuation,  (or spaces...which is sometimes not possible - for example on Facebook,  spacing is not possible as a format or even punctuation.)

Line breaks, and enjambment have possibly a more important role in other poetry, as haiku is not only incredibly brief, but often made up of a single line section (hence it automatically has its own line break) and a two-line phrase which should, mostly, not have an extreme enjambment like, say, the New York Poets?

Quote
So is it better to show the cut, with the use of dashes, comma etc,  or  is it better to use lie breaks? 
This is something I have been reading a lot on, but somehow there is no clear instruction. I prefer to use a double-em, it always gains the reader's attention and thereby a pause.

I've started to put more visual punctuation in some haiku to help some know (including non-haiku poets) know where there are cuts/line breaks lie.   Perhaps some haiku require closer reading than longer poems? 

I leave it up to the individual author myself. :)   Although I don't often feel visual punctuation is necessary in such brevity.

Don Baird posted this elsewhere on THF:

Quote
—      For a break that is similar to hyphen, a sort of "that is" feeling; & or, general pause; still connective but not as much as ellipsis.

;       For a greater disjunction

:       For two parts that are very equal in balance ... two halves that make a whole ... but of equal strength ... and also for the greatest disjunction.

Don Baird

http://www.thehaikufoundation.org/forum_sm/index.php?topic=5486.0


haiku traditionally employ "the technique of cutting"--i.e., a division in thought between the earlier and later portions of the poem. These two divisions must be able to stand independently from each other, but each one must also enrich the reader's understanding of the other section. In English translation, this division is often (but not always) indicated through punctuation marks such as a dash, colon, semicolon, or ellipsis.
https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/What_are_Haiku.pdf

Thanks Anna,

Quote from: Anna on January 20, 2015, 06:41:43 AM


Alan, there is this digital one liner Book by Jim Kachian,  I was browsing through it,  it has several good one-liners that are great opening lines,

but here is one from me, it may not be a haiku however:

go away moon, shining on tears

You are the first to post an example. 

I'm specifically looking for three line haiku and how, if the one-line segment comes first, how it acts as an opening line.

Does your own example come from a one-line haiku or a three line haiku?


Yes, I have a number of books by Jim Kacian that feature one-line haiku. By the way I'll be producing a section on one-line haiku in the new book.

Here's a THF link to a few one line haiku by myself and others:
http://www.thehaikufoundation.org/forum_sm/index.php?topic=1094.15

warm regards,

Alan

Hi Phil,

Quote from: PAllen on January 19, 2015, 03:12:46 PM
Alan,

I am intrigued.
Would you by chance have any to offer as examples?

Phil

I've potentially a few from people but not yet published.

So I'm really looking for any examples from people at this forum, and what they have to say.

My book productions will carry a feature where there are other voices, not just from a single editor.

Please do post haiku that you consider have exceptional opening lines though. :)

warm regards,

Alan

.

I'm looking for haiku that start with a one line section/fragment that double as great opening lines.   This is for an essay, and a section in my book project.

I'd love to have examples given here, and a short note why you think it's a great opening line.

warm regards,

Alan

When you enter the competition don't forget you do get a  FREE opportunity  to submit your own notes about why your haiku is about the Summer season, or just a series of field notes about what Summer is to you personally, or any other way you'd like to talk about Summer.

The With Words Haiku Book of Summer will contain the voices of writers talking about Summer not only through their haiku, but their own observations and comments, rather than just the voice of an editor alone.

Writer's Notes regarding the extra prize winning feature of seasonal notes by authors for The With Words Summer Competition Haiku Section
http://area17.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/writers-notes.html


Books coming out on the Summer Competitions:
http://area17.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/the-books-with-words-book-of-summer.html

warm regards,

Alan

Hi Billie,

I'd love to enter, but online submissions are not allowed.   Will there be an opportunity in future years at all?

kind regards,

Alan

.


Please do read and vote on your favourite haiku composed for the photograph:
http://tinywords.com/2014/12/27/writing-prompt-for-issue-15-1/#idc-container

I've ordered mine, and very excited about the additional haiku challenge I can give Stewart when I order directly from him. :)

warm regards,

Alan

I think you know I'll be interested. :)   So please do put me on the mailing list, you have my email. :-)

Also working on an excuse to visit SF myself either late this year or earlyish next year. :)

warm regards,

Alan

Congratulations!!! :)

Quote from: Seaview on January 06, 2015, 05:20:17 PM
reflection
in this oyster shell
pearl moon

Delighted that this one came joint third in the Irish Haiku Society competion this year!


http://irishhaiku.webs.com/haikucompetition.htm

.

Dear David,

Quote from: DavidGrayson on January 03, 2015, 02:27:21 AM
The religious philosopher Jacob Needleman was asked in an interview: "When we question the meaning of life, you insist that we add the Earth to this query. Why is it important that we do so?"

He answered:
"One of the main aims of this book [Unknown World] is to see what it means for us that the Earth itself is a living being. Within a living organism everything that exists has a function, a role to play, in the whole of the life of which it is a part. Therefore, the meaning of human life is inseparable from the function that the human species is meant to serve as part of the living Earth. The central question of my book is: What, then, does the Earth really need from us?—far beyond the kind of efforts we are making to fix the environmental crisis we have created. Since everything human is part of the Earth, and is meant to play an essential role in the very evolution of the Earth—then everything human, including especially our inner and most inmost life, has an essential function within the life of the planet." (1)

Following the thread of Needleman's idea, I imagine that there would be two principal tasks for haiku poets. The first task is to simply describe the world as-is (the "organism").   

indian summer
the intersecting circles
of hawks

- Carolyn Hall (2)

Of course, this is the classic shasei approach, which Lee Gurga defines as the poet learning to simply "record what he or she sees, hears, smells, tastes, and touches." (3) 

A second task would be an attempt toward communion with the environment and all of its inhabitants:

at the fence
we tell our stories ...
the old horse and I

- Joan Vistain (4)

A central component of each of these tasks is communication. Citing the concept of quantum entanglement from physics, the poet Christian Wiman wrote that "if related particles react in similar or opposite ways even when separated by tremendous distances, then it is obvious that the whole world is alive and communicating in ways we do not fully understand. And we are part of that life, part of that communication ..." (5)

I'm curious about how other haiku poets view Needleman's idea of the meaning of life being inseparable from the function of our species as part of "the living Earth." Are there haiku that you've come across that reflect or embody this idea? Have you composed any haiku that do?


Notes:

(1) Jacob Needleman. Blog post: "Responding to Questions About An Unknown World," February 9, 2013. http://www.jacobneedleman.com/blog/?offset=1364933100000 (Accessed December 27, 2014).

(2) Carolyn Hall, Water Lines, ed. John Barlow (Liverpool: Snapshot Press, 2006), 29.

(3) Lee Gurga, Haiku: A Poet's Guide (Lincoln, Illinois: Modern Haiku Press, 2003), 133.

(4) Joan Vistain, Acorn: A Journal of Contemporary Haiku (Spring 2013), 38.

(5) Christian Wiman, My Bright Abyss: Meditation of a Modern Believer (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013), 35.

I've long believed that the planet should have its own rights, and that all life should have equal rights, not just the human variant of animal existence, but everything, whether we deem it sentient or not, whether we ignore the spirituality of other life.

From the influence of the moon, and the micro-denizens that contribute to life on Earth:

hunter's moon
the runes of mice
in its wake

Alan Summers
Publication Credit:   Mainichi (Japan, December 1st 2014)


Kirkstone Pass
a sheepdog gathers
its part of the world

url: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirkstone_Pass

Alan Summers
Publication Credit: Muttering Thunder vol. 1, November 2014


To memories past and ongoing in all life as it flexes, sustains, supports, and urges new life...

a memory
in the muscle museum...
rain begins to fall

Alan Summers
Publication Credit: Scope vol. 60 no. 9 (FAWQ  magazine October 2014


dandelions
gingerly pushing out...
micro civilisations

Alan Summers
Publication Credit:   hedgerow: a journal of small poems (Issue 1, September 2014)


And the nightlife outside human preoccupation with itself...


after rain midnight dreams a hedgehog

Alan Summers
Publication Credit:   brass bell: a haiku journal
One-Line Haiku curated by Zee Zahava (Monday, September 1, 2014)


night of small colour

a part of the underworld

becomes one heron

Alan Summers
Publication Credit: Modern Haiku Vol. 45.2  Summer 2014


Haiku poetry can be an incredible record of life, and of course humans through their own brand of 'writing' can attest to the miracle of our water planet, so beautifully seen from outside our atmosphere, and not nearly enough marvelled at on land:

Milky Way Train
I bring my inner child
down to earth

Alan Summers
Publication Credit:   hedgerow: a journal of small poems (Issue 1, September 2014)