The Haiku Foundation Forums

midnight -
the cat steps on
just one piano key

  - Tom Clausen

I thought this was a funny coincidence.  But I was reading the latest issue of Upstate Dim Sum and came across this wonderful haiku:

hide and seek
the moon
has its way

--- Yu Chang

Thanks, Cat.  I seem to have remedied it. 

Thanks to all for the wonderful feedback.  This forum is certainly a great place to learn about and discuss haiku.  It's such a treat to have such wonderful poets willing to mentor and be available to haikuists. 

Btw, for some reason I only receive the first email notification when somebody responds, and then I don't receive additional alerts.  I'm not sure if it's set up that way or a small error.  Just that I'd mention as an fyi.

Thanks to all for the wonderful feedback.  Sorry if I were not more clear, but I just concocted this ku to field questions about the tenses; it's quality really wasn't the concern, but I see I should have probably just used a better example. :-)  Maybe I should have used a famous haiku and rewrote it in a different tense, and then we could have compared the two.

Regarding my ill choice of word--"haiku-like"--I apologize. If we had been talking movies I may have used the word cinematic (e.g., that which carries attributes of cinema).  Not sure what the equivalent word for haiku would be.  haikuik? Doesn't seem right. :-)

Cat, thank you very much for the feedback regarding present progressive and simple present.  It was very helpful.  And I learned from it.  

Lorin, you wrote that the haiku didn't have any articles, but I thought "a" counted as an article.  I may be wrong.  I'm trying to better understand grammar and rules.  So much of it comes naturally, but I'd like to be more cognizant of what I'm doing.  In any event, I agree and understand about using natural language.  "Tontoism" seems popular in a lot in 5-7-5, especially zappai.  (Also, on a side note, I enjoyed the latest Gean!)  And the adding "the" was a good idea.      

Happy New Years to all.  The below is a haiku I created just for an example.

(A)
flashlight
illuminating a child's grin
hide and seek

This seems to read more in the present moment than the below alternative:

(B)
flashlight
illuminates a child's grin
hide and seek

I've read many of the standard ku books (Higginson, Gurga, etc), but cannot remember this topic coming up.  It seems pretty standard, something I should have a quick answer for.

My questions are the following:

1) Are both acceptable?

2) Am I correct in assuming that example A is more ku-like?

3) Like in most arts, I understand that once you learn all the rules, it's possible to then break them.  I've seen four line haiku, haiku that have one phrase that runs on for three lines, etc.  Is this just another example of the author's preference?  If I feel the second is stronger, I should go with it?  

Thanks in advance.

Thank you.  I was only confused by the letters S/L/S/L/L instead of the typical 5/7/5/7/7.  I always assumed that 5/7/5/7/7 was as valid as stating haiku should be written in 5/7/5, though people seem a bit more draconian when it comes to tanka.   

Regarding the use of real names, I couldn't agree more and just slapped on HaikuCowboy when I was setting up the profile because it's also my Gmail address.

Don,

Thanks for the note.  Please note that I have updated my signature to read my full name, though my username remains HaikuCowboy, hope that's acceptable.  Happy holidays.

Can somebody advise what this tanka meter is, as in providing examples?  I Googled it to no avail.  I read this was the official tanka meter, and I am not familiar with it.

Thank you
HaikuCowboy
Minnesota

That is hysterical, but I do bend when it comes to 5-7-5.  I sent out a xmas card and wanted to include a ku, so I wrote it in 5-7-5 so non-ku people would know that it was a haiku.  Maybe I should be more draconian, though. ;-)

Quote from: G.R. LeBlanc on December 13, 2010, 12:25:54 PM

Quote from: merlot on December 12, 2010, 08:22:48 PM
I would like to post a roadside sign by the side of  the haiku writer's highway. It would read:

     REDUCED
SYLLABLE COUNT
     AHEAD

LOL! That is pretty good!  ;)

I'm a new subscriber of Ribbons and new member to Tanka Society of America (TSA).  Besides reading the wonderful articles listed above, I found reading Ribbons (which presents many different styles of tanka) to be quite illuminating. 

HaikuCowboy
Minneapolis

I was wondering about what percentage of ku books are self-published, and if it is frowned upon in the community.  Also, can they be sent to journals for review and entered into first-book contests (I know every contest has its own rules).  I've noticed that many people are using Lulu.com to publish books that look quite nice.

HaikuCowboy
Minneapolis