The Haiku Foundation Forums

wolf whistle
the fox on the corner
turns to look

Andy

looking back at me
the accusing eye
of the shot deer

Adelaide

deer tracks
under the window...
I sign the prenup

Vida

prenup –
the hummingbird guards
her nest

Don

nest in a pine tree
abandoned half-way complete--
so many promises

Adelaide

Vida

wine and roses -
this blood-moon awaits
the wolf

Don

wolf whistle
the fox on the corner
turns to look

Andy

looking back at me
the accusing eye
of the shot deer

Adelaide 

falling in love
the twists and turns
of autumn leaves

Adelaide

leaves
will return in spring
our cat is gone forever

Nu Quang

forever
the time between this second
and the next

Andy

next time –
i'm glad there
is one

lulu

one dozen roses
placed before his photo-
12 years alone

Adelaide

Thank, Alan, for your quick reply.

Adelaide

I have a question regarding haiku posted on this train.  Are they considered published?

Adelaide

day
lingers into the night -
red glow in the moon

Snow Leopard

moon landing
she takes the first step
and calls home

Adelaide

home
inaccessible in Cholon . . .
I need a spaceship

Nu Quang

___________________________

spaceship blues . . .
the rising sun
is falling

Don

falling in love
the twists and turns
of autumn leaves

Adelaide

wind blown hair
my favorite photo
of her and her horse

marty

horses exercise
round and round the paddock-
neither first nor last

Adelaide

last minute deals...
I buy a ticket
for Ascension Day

Vida


day
lingers into the night -
red glow in the moon

Snow Leopard

moon landing
she takes the first step
and calls home

Adelaide

hold of the ship
full of elephant tusks
Ivory coast

marty

roller coaster
the screeching voice
of an icy wind

Adelaide

wind blown hair
my favorite photo
of her and her horse

marty

horses exercise
round and round the paddock-
neither first nor last

Adelaide

devotion
the carpenter's calluses
at confession

Alan

confession moon—
how many secrets
does a seashell hold?

John

hold of the ship
full of elephant tusks
Ivory coast

marty

roller coaster
the screeching voice
of an icy wind

Adelaide

domination over
the priest removes
his dog collar

John McManus

collar -
the spring fever
of lipstick

Don


lipstick
at the murder scene
plum blossom

Sue

plum blossoms
the soft fragrance
of his aftershave

Adelaide

Looks like the haiku train is stalled.  Anyone out there ready to start it up again?

Adelaide

Hi Matthew,

John's advice just goes to show that what seems to work for the poet is the right way to go. Good luck as you go winging your way through haiku.

Adelaide

Hi Matthew,

Alan has given you (and the rest of us) great examples of successfully using ing.  I would add a word of caution:  only one ing in a haiku.  More than one tends to call attention to them.

In Alan's haiku below:  L3 could have been faces turning up, but Alan wisely chose upturned faces

woodsmoke rising
towards the milky way
upturned faces

or in this one

foot-stamping weather
the train passenger breaks
in a new book

L2 could have been the train passenger breaking

My advice: Don't shy away from using the particple; just be careful not to overdo it.

Adelaide

toe testing
his sudden look and sly smile
says yes

daysleeper

From what I've read on another post, it seems that some data has been deleted. so I'll post my link to the train again.

yesterday's storm
all that seemed permanent
toppled

Adelaide

Paul's haiku could be a dream or a nightmare. I get nothing else from it. Perhaps more of a dream because the beetles are gold, like jewels rather than scary bugs.

From Fay's I'm reminded of the paper masks we made as children using grocery bags.  Being paper they didn't last long.  They were a temporary plaything, temporary as our life is temporary.  We see life through our eyes and it is slowly closing, like the gate, a little more each day.

I prefer Fay's haiku.

Adelaide