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Messages - martin gottlieb cohen

#1
 ;D :-[ :P  Simple and always stepping in it. I just stumbled onto Alan Summers Wonderful Tanka workshops. However, for ultra, ultra-beginners like myself, why not mentoring in tanka for beginners like there is for haiku.
#2
In-Depth Haiku: Free Discussion Area / Tanka Mentoring
October 06, 2020, 03:13:05 AM
Would anyone experienced in tanka like to mentor it? Taking a free beginner course in it, but no mentoring group for it. Would but I am ignorant in it. Go ahead, be a sport!

Here are three I am fooling around with:

In memory of George Floyd

white chalk
on this asphalt
outline
of his long pain
to the curb's end


firefly watching
down this Ogod river
in a stillness
that spreads a moonless light
the river of heaven


Aqaba beachfront                                   
how the stillness suspends
air                                                               
on a G string
the sound's back and forth ache             

https://youtu.be/DRfhcvKvn0E

#3
New to Haiku: Free Discussion Area / Re: One line haiku
October 10, 2017, 11:02:57 AM
Hi Anna,

You might find this interesting:

http://simplyhaiku.com/SHv2n5/haikuclinic/haikuclinic.html
#4
New to Haiku: Free Discussion Area / Re: One line haiku
October 08, 2017, 09:55:56 AM
in Fukushima's waves the blue half life

among the sunlit wrecks caws of Kesennuma

cobbled street passing me the horse-drawn cart

back into the krill distant songs

in the length of a breath shooting star
#6
How ya doin, Mate,

Where can I read, hear, or view your interview, Alan. Will you post the link here? I look forward to it, Thanks!
#7
Anna, I still am lost in the thought of no Ma in my attempts. To be more exact, I cannot understand Ma in contemporary master haiku poems. In other words, after twenty years of fiddling with haiku I still do not understand Ma.

There is a thorough description of it in Robert D. Wilson's Back to Hokku: A Study of Japanese Aesthetics Relative to Haiku - Study of Japanese Aesthetics: Part I, The Importance of Ma, found in the Haiku Foundation's Digital Library and in Wilson's book, he mentions Denis M. Garrison's use of "dreaming room" in further describing the idea of Ma. In my own understanding, it is what the writer does not say in the haiku but, I suppose, infers it in the most general way that allows the reader to bring their own personal experience to it. However do not go by me, I cannot get it!

As a side note to my attempt, I think "bubbling krill" might be a summer Kigo because whales feed during the summer on the Antarctica krill and the poem refers to krill and song to mean whales that do sing when in the feeding process of krill, but I am not sure.

I suppose since there is no common experience of it in our society except most recently through documentaries in film, TV and now video clips on You Tube, that bubbling krill might eventually develop into a Kigo other than among indigenous peoples.  That is another idea, Kigo, I do not really understand.





#8
Anna, perhaps are distant cousins are not speaking but feeling but then again singing.

Jan, sweetness did bother me. My problem is that I have to refresh my knowledge of the English language the only one I speak and attempt to write. I confused possessive noun and adjective and still I am confused...


bubbling krill the rush of light

bubbling krill the pull of the song 

back into the krill distant song




#9
bubbling krill into the polar light air's sweetness


I use the "bubbling krill" as a hook to bring you into the point of view of a Humpback whale feeding.  Continuing I try to imagine how the Humpback experiences the event through sensory images, but there is no dream room to explore. Haiku is not easy the way I understand it. I am simple, have been struggling for twenty years, and can't understand it.







#10
Sorry, I didn't answer sooner; my computer was down:

At first, the ape cage is staring at me, possibly from my human point of view, but than it's a switch, staring at me an attendant's reflection. It's an attendant as seen from an ape's point of view. As for the reflection, I was thinking of when I was at the Bronx zoo in New York and they had a pond near the cage for seals to play in during the summer, but it could be a puddle. I used the reflection albeit in a clumsy way to question who is more hapless or perhaps the operators are exploiting them both.

Up the Revolution

#11
 Sloppy me simpleton that I am has a response if I understand this and please correct me if I don't...

ape cage
staring at me
an attendant's reflection

or a bit of a stretch...

winter dream
in my fox den
rustling mice


or another deeper stretch...


bubbling krill into the polar light air's sweetness








#12
New to Haiku: Free Discussion Area / Re: One line haiku
October 12, 2013, 09:08:49 PM
from her dark hip the moon's curve
#13
heat (lightn)ing (blossom)ing (r)egret
#14
For me it starts with the late William J. Higginson who got me interested in haiku, then the haiku of Yu Chang, Cor van den Heuvel and so many more... 
#15
Is this haiku, senryu, verse, or something else...?

Detroit summer
sunlight stops at the windows

or

among the sunlit wrecks   crows of Kesennuma
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