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New to Haiku => New to Haiku: Free Discussion Area => Topic started by: Padmarajeswari on February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM

Title: Haiku - seeking feedback
Post by: Padmarajeswari on February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM
Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma
Title: Re: Haiku - seeking feedback
Post by: AlanSummers on February 07, 2021, 02:40:24 AM
Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Quote from: Padmarajeswari on February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM
Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma
Title: Re: Haiku - seeking feedback
Post by: Padmarajeswari on February 07, 2021, 03:24:18 AM
Thanks so much for your quick response Allan. And your encouraging words.

Look forward to more guidance as I take few more baby steps in this journey.

Regards,
Padma


Quote from: AlanSummers on February 07, 2021, 02:40:24 AM


Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Quote from: Padmarajeswari on February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM
Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma
Quote from: AlanSummers on February 07, 2021, 02:40:24 AM
Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Quote from: Padmarajeswari on February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM
Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma
Title: Re: Haiku - seeking feedback
Post by: AlanSummers on February 07, 2021, 04:03:07 AM
Apologies,

We are both spelling each other's name incorrectly.

I just have one "l" :-)

Alan

Should I say more correctly Padmarajeswari?

And have you tried the wonderful mentoring boards which are private and cannot be seen until signed into?

warm regards,
Alan

Quote from: Padmarajeswari on February 07, 2021, 03:24:18 AM
Thanks so much for your quick response Allan. And your encouraging words.

Look forward to more guidance as I take few more baby steps in this journey.

Regards,
Padma


Quote from: AlanSummers on February 07, 2021, 02:40:24 AM


Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Quote from: Padmarajeswari on February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM
Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma
Quote from: AlanSummers on February 07, 2021, 02:40:24 AM
Dear Palma,

Two lovely verses!

I can see a potential haiku sequence about the banyan tree.

warmest regards,
Alan

Quote from: Padmarajeswari on February 06, 2021, 10:42:47 PM
Dear Allan,
I recently saw a fallen banyan tree, it was probably centuries old and touched my heart. Written two haiku on this topic. I look forward to your feedback / inputs.


ancient tree fallen
witness of bitter sweet 
secrets lost forever



children hop on
roots and branches -
fallen banyan tree


Regards,
Padma